Imaginary Girlfriend

May 9, 2005 8:09 AM

Tired of your friends and family telling you to get a girlfriend? With an Imaginary Girlfriend, you can carry on a completely fictitious, yet authentic looking relationship with the girl of your choice.*
* By "choice," I mean "Erica."
posted by Saucy Intruder (37 comments total)

Wide selection currently available. How do you choose between the canadian and the canadian skank?
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:27 AM on May 9, 2005

Link is dead. I can't even hookup with an imaginary girlfriend. WTF.
posted by greasy_skillet at 8:28 AM on May 9, 2005

I have a feeling that for many men, it will become all too real.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 8:28 AM on May 9, 2005

I want Fiona next to me, in my imaginary Lamborghini.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:30 AM on May 9, 2005

There appear to be two choices now, Erica and Karinna. Neither of them looks Canadian, although the '80s want Karinna's hair back.
posted by me3dia at 8:44 AM on May 9, 2005

"Easy to use" "No commitments!" Mhm. Let's take a look, then. [click, click] Oh no: "Due to high demand, this girlfriend is currently off the market."
posted by Termite at 8:46 AM on May 9, 2005

... And that was the ugly one.
posted by Termite at 8:47 AM on May 9, 2005

This is going to end badly, I think.
posted by scarymonsterrrr at 8:49 AM on May 9, 2005

But these imaginary girlfriends are real girls, I thought they'd be authentic simulated girlfriend programs. Oddly, that would have seemed less pathetic.
posted by hojoki at 8:50 AM on May 9, 2005

Neither of them looks Canadian

How do you spot a canadian? In New England we have jokes about mudflap haircuts, donuts, and all-denim ensembles. But like most stereotypes they're accurate only occasionally and shouldn't be relied upon.

Read their bios. The one with the glasses is from Vancouver and the one with chlamydia is from Toronto.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:57 AM on May 9, 2005

I am Erica, and I am like, totally hot.

My brother is Karinna.
posted by LarryC at 9:09 AM on May 9, 2005

Prices vary?
posted by asok at 9:22 AM on May 9, 2005

I'm so glad I'm married. This is depressing.
posted by fungible at 9:27 AM on May 9, 2005

Imaginary Girlfriends is an imaginary site for me now.

Isn't this old anyway? I mean, we've got people auctioning themselves off on eBay for prom dates and I'm sure I heard about this about a year ago.

fungible, amen!
posted by fenriq at 9:53 AM on May 9, 2005

This is funnysad. Because I cannot imagine either A) not having a decent companion if you want one, or B) having to mollify your friends/parents/relatives with a fake one.

Are people that tied to the idea of making others happy through their (non)choices? Either actually doing, or going through the motions of doing what others want or expect from you?

Still, I'm chuckling. But sad.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:53 AM on May 9, 2005

I coulda swore this is, at least in concept, a double post. But damned if I can find anything...
posted by Doohickie at 9:57 AM on May 9, 2005

A good friend of mine applied to be one of these, and had to send in photos and all kinds of stuff. They never responded to her, which is weird, because she's certainly hot enough.
posted by deafmute at 10:53 AM on May 9, 2005

My friends are all hot enough to be imaginary girlfriends.
posted by saysthis at 11:25 AM on May 9, 2005

exlotuseater I cannot imagine either A) not having a decent companion if you want one

For some people, having a (willing) 'decent companion' is very very difficult.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:04 PM on May 9, 2005

If you are really going to embrace the imaginary GF concept, you really have to go all the way, and be prepared to accept the consequences of your actions. Not totally safe for work if your boss is uptight. Check out "Sweet" on Zed.

http://zed.cbc.ca/go?POS=1&CONTENT_ID=16625&c=contentPage&FILTER_KEY=85072
posted by Rusty Iron at 12:09 PM on May 9, 2005

Dang. Should have made that a link. Sorry.



posted by Rusty Iron at 12:10 PM on May 9, 2005

I'm going to apply. This has great hilariousness potential. They'll even attach a fake photo to your profile. I smell novel material / bestseller list! (now that the "blog novel" has been played out...)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:24 PM on May 9, 2005

I mean, we've got people auctioning themselves off on eBay for prom dates

Two years ago, I was part of the rash of eBay "fake girlfriend/boyfriend" auctions. I was a "fake stalker ex-boyfriend." EBay shut down the category before the auction's end. In the meantime I met a lady selling herself as a fake nagging housewife; she was hilarious.
posted by NickDouglas at 12:28 PM on May 9, 2005

Because I cannot imagine either A) not having a decent companion if you want one

C'mon. Let's exercise that imagination a bit. I'll be kind enough not to link to any photos.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:53 PM on May 9, 2005

Because I cannot imagine either A) not having a decent companion if you want one

Sure you can't, that's why you hang out on the internet.
posted by jonmc at 1:04 PM on May 9, 2005

Why would someone want to buy an imaginary GF when imagination is free? Granted I didn't look at the site, but... this seems like something one could do with one's own resources.
posted by elisabeth r at 1:36 PM on May 9, 2005

This whole concept is fallacious. The one thing a man wants from a girlfriend is sex, and you can't get that from this service. If someone could come up with a marketing design that would pass prostitution off as legal and moral, that person would become rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

So you can get someone to nag you when you're with your friends? Who's gonna pay for this? And it's inevitable that your friends will figure you out and then you'll really look lame. You know they're gonna want you to invite her over for dinner eventually. "Oh well she's in Canada." So you can't get a girlfriend who's in your own city? No matter what, this'd still make a man look like a loser. I prefer just letting truth reveal that I'm a loser. It's a lot cheaper.

As for this being a doublepost, I stopped trying to compose FPPs for this website years ago, because no matter what I could find, someone would tell me it'd already been discussed. I don't think there's anything on the Internet we haven't already covered, so get used to the reruns here and stop complaining about it.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:51 PM on May 9, 2005

Well, it seems like one obvious application of the Imaginary Girlfriend is as a beard for a closeted gay man.
posted by mr_roboto at 2:10 PM on May 9, 2005

... one obvious application of the Imaginary Girlfriend is as a beard for a closeted gay man.

The negatives have already been noted. The service seems pretty rudimentary and phoney. A decent escort service and a 15-minute back story is a much better bet.

If you're going to lie about it, don't be an amateur.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:04 PM on May 9, 2005

I've thought about gaining a few pounds to be someone's shirtless, gutful 35-year-old white male plain' ol' online drinking buddy ... then I realized someone would probably pay me for it. And I'd have to interact with them. And that freaks me out.
posted by diastematic at 3:21 PM on May 9, 2005

Why are there still closeted gay men? I thought they'd all have come out by now? Is it becoming more fashionable again to pretend to be straight? Couldn't they all wear yellow triangles so we can tell where they are? They're already all putting rainbows on the trunks of their cars, ain't they? I'm so out of the loop on this crap.

Straight men don't need imaginary girlfriends, is what I was trying to say before. We need real lays that ain't girlfriends and ain't trying to get us to embrace the "C" word. Gay men can have all the fake girlfriends they want. The more gay men out there the better, cuz if all the other men are gay, it makes it easier for me to get laid with straight women by default; at least in theory.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:37 PM on May 9, 2005

Rusty Iron: "Sweet" link to a great short film.
posted by andendau at 3:55 PM on May 9, 2005

Why are there still closeted gay men? I thought they'd all have come out by now?

Zach, (limited) societal acceptance is one thing, familial acceptance is another. And people still value the acceptance of the people who raised them.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on May 9, 2005

When our time is nearly up, I will send email and phone messages expressing my dismay over our break-up, and begging for another chance.

No two way phone conversations.
posted by airguitar at 7:54 PM on May 9, 2005

Because I cannot imagine either A) not having a decent companion if you want one

Gloat a little more, why don't you, you pompous fuckbucket.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 9:05 PM on May 9, 2005

Imaginary lovers never turn you down...
posted by SisterHavana at 8:43 PM on May 10, 2005

I'm holding out for the imaginary fatal attraction...

"I will pretend to boil your bunny!"
posted by Darkman at 2:07 AM on May 11, 2005