Expressed with words and scents

June 26, 2005 11:06 AM

Oh! that I were a T---d, a T---d,
Hid in this secret Place,
That I might see my Betsy's A----,
Though she sh--t me in my Face.
(Written under this in a Woman's Hand)
'Tis Pity but you had your Wish, E. W.

Boghouse (public toilet) poetry from 18th century london.
posted by Kickstart70 (27 comments total)

I probably should have submitted with this one :)

Hither I came in haste to sh-t,
But found such Excrements of Wit,
That I to shew my Skill in Verse,
Had scarcely Time to wipe my A—se.

Underwritten.

D--n your Writing,
Mind your Sh-t-ng.
posted by Kickstart70 at 11:15 AM on June 26, 2005

As I walk'd by myself, I said to myself, And myself said again to me:
Look to thyself, Take Care of thyself,
For no Body cares for thee

Say, I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me!
posted by languagehat at 11:16 AM on June 26, 2005

Amazing emphasis on prostitution in these.
I love the eternal wisdom of "I've never met a c___y that smelled of civets"
posted by Rumple at 11:38 AM on June 26, 2005

Makes today's scribblings sound downright banal.
posted by absalom at 12:27 PM on June 26, 2005

"c___y"???
posted by ChrisTN at 12:45 PM on June 26, 2005

"cunny"
posted by tracicle at 1:09 PM on June 26, 2005

ChrisTN: _unn_, I'd bet.
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:09 PM on June 26, 2005

Makes today's scribblings sound downright banal

In college, I spent a summer painting apartments for a local company, and our bosses/foremen were John and Donny. And in one of the employee bathrooms underneath a building was scrawled the following masterpiece:

COD SACK
ROD SACK
JOHN SACK
ASS SACK

It haunts me to this day.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:48 PM on June 26, 2005

Metafilter: D--n your Writing, Mind your Sh-t-ng.
posted by redteam at 1:58 PM on June 26, 2005

I hate to be so dense, but "T---d"?
posted by dopeypanda at 2:04 PM on June 26, 2005

Turd
posted by Kickstart70 at 2:10 PM on June 26, 2005

[th-s is g--d]
posted by ruddhist at 2:15 PM on June 26, 2005

Turd does not, I think, have three letters between the T and the D.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:14 PM on June 26, 2005

"cunny"

Oh. Whoops! Thanks. I am not heterosexual enough for this thread.
posted by ChrisTN at 3:39 PM on June 26, 2005

From tracicle's link: First known reference in Eng. is said to be c.1230 Oxford or London street name Gropecuntlane, presumably a haunt of prostitutes.

Prostitutes or lechers, sure.
posted by kenko at 3:47 PM on June 26, 2005

Turd does not, I think, have three letters between the T and the D.

Does if you're a pirate. Arrr, bewarre me turrd!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:24 PM on June 26, 2005

No more let each fond foppling court a Brother,
And quit the Girls to dress for one another;
Old maids, in Vengeance to their slighted Beauty,
Shall one Day make you wish you'd done your Duty;
Thro' H-ll they drag ye on inost aukward Shapes,
Yoak'd in their Apron-Strings, and led for Apes.

Well, well. Most interesting...
posted by jokeefe at 4:31 PM on June 26, 2005

As I walk'd by myself, I said to myself, And myself said again to me:
Look to thyself, Take Care of thyself,
For no Body cares for thee

Say, I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me!

Indeed, Mr. Hat, I think that this, as a statement of the eternal human condition, pretty much puts a nail in the coffin of cultural relativism....
posted by jokeefe at 4:33 PM on June 26, 2005

So if I understand this correctly, back in 18th century london, if someone had something publically to state, they'd post it on their bog?
posted by milnak at 7:28 PM on June 26, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

This is a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant find.
posted by anastasiav at 8:17 PM on June 26, 2005

Turd does not, I think, have three letters between the T and the D.

There are a number of other cases on that page that don't match underscore to letter 1:1.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:08 PM on June 26, 2005

Anyone else get a kick out of the zealous hyphenation in a book full of whore poems? Was this the Enlightenment version of the Comics Code?
posted by NickDouglas at 10:42 PM on June 26, 2005

they'd post it on their bog

OK, that made me laugh.
posted by languagehat at 6:07 AM on June 27, 2005

Great find, thanks. I love old graffiti; it's interesting that it's something that has been present pretty much since we ever learned how to leave markings.
posted by livii at 9:14 AM on June 27, 2005

The one I'm stumped by is

If the Husband had come,
And had seen his Wife's B--m,
He'd a known by her Looks,
She'd been playing ----

Why strike the whole word out? Any guesses what it was?
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:47 AM on June 27, 2005

You've left out the next and last line, which supplies the rhyme:
At Hoy Gammer Cooks.

I don't know if the dashes are simply for suspense (wait for it!) or whether they disguise a d-rty w-rd, but it's important to know that it's not going to rhyme with "looks."
posted by languagehat at 11:53 AM on June 27, 2005

O Cloacina, Goddess of this place,
Look on thy suppliants with a smiling face.
Soft, yet cohesive let their offerings flow,
Not rashly swift nor insolently slow.

-- Attributed to Byron
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:35 PM on June 27, 2005