Amazon sex shop

August 20, 2005 9:07 AM

The Next Generation Rabbit Pearl Wireless Vibrator is just one of a range of products in Amazon's sex shop.
posted by bobbyelliott (47 comments total)

Uh.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:09 AM on August 20, 2005

But does it vibrate? Damn, wait. Nevermind, I got nothing.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:10 AM on August 20, 2005

Get the fuck out.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 9:15 AM on August 20, 2005

I, for one, welcome-- wait, where am I?
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:19 AM on August 20, 2005

1 - 24 of 41238
posted by jaronson at 9:20 AM on August 20, 2005

"Do not use on unexplained calf pain."

What the shit?
posted by nthdegx at 9:20 AM on August 20, 2005

That's crap. I used mine on unexplained calf pain and it worked great.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 9:26 AM on August 20, 2005

I used mine and it worked so great, I got unexplained calf pain!
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:33 AM on August 20, 2005

I just don't have any baby cows.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:39 AM on August 20, 2005

Damn. Now that thing is showing up in my "Recently Viewed Products" on Amazon....
posted by punkrockrat at 9:39 AM on August 20, 2005

bobbyelliott's true plan revealed.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:40 AM on August 20, 2005

Unexplained calf pain is the cardinal symptom of deep vein thrombosis. DVTs usually begin in the lower extremities and if you have one, you really don't want to jostle it at all because you may dislodge it and let it loose into your bloodstream--at that point it can end up in the lungs as a pulmonary embolism. No good at all.
posted by jesourie at 9:45 AM on August 20, 2005

Kinda idiotic to FPP, but uhhh; best prices on the web. More so to be thinking "gee, next time I buy a book I could spend $ more to get free shipping, and avoid paying retail for condoms and lubes. Ugh.
posted by buzzman at 9:45 AM on August 20, 2005

That's so hot ... yeah baby ... don't stop posting ... don't stop .... don't ....
posted by ElvisJesus at 9:51 AM on August 20, 2005

"Do not use on unexplained calf pain."

Yeah, but what about unexplained clitoris pain? Is it OK to use it on that?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:52 AM on August 20, 2005

Now that thing is showing up in my "Recently Viewed Products"

Hell. Now I'm going to be seeing dildos on Amazon's front page for the rest of my life.
posted by nervousfritz at 9:52 AM on August 20, 2005

Definitely the lowest prices on the web. Definitely not the best of the web.
posted by VulcanMike at 9:57 AM on August 20, 2005

Wow. 79 cent vibrators.
posted by joegester at 9:58 AM on August 20, 2005

Dang, for that price, I could hand them out to all my friends!
posted by Balisong at 10:07 AM on August 20, 2005

And as an employee, I get a further 10% discount. :)

Few of my coworkers were surprised to find vibrators on the site. We giggled, but there's much, much weirder stuff on Amazon if you know where to look. :)
posted by xthlc at 10:09 AM on August 20, 2005

I gotta wonder, many companies have assinine web filtering proxies like mine do. How long before it's filtered out by a lot of companies as my favourite catch-all "General Pornography". It's amusing the number of things that manage to fall under that heading. Some priss complains, a site gets added without any checks, somebody else complains the blockage is inappropriate etc.
posted by substrate at 10:15 AM on August 20, 2005

My Amazon Associates referral fees are about to, um, explode...
posted by twsf at 10:20 AM on August 20, 2005

needs a kick start thingee. now that would be progress
posted by Jikido at 10:21 AM on August 20, 2005

'Course, you'll need some music to go along with that.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:27 AM on August 20, 2005

Buy Used and New!
posted by Mick at 10:37 AM on August 20, 2005

Unexplained calf pain is the cardinal symptom of deep vein thrombosis. DVTs usually begin in the lower extremities and if you have one, you really don't want to jostle it at all because you may dislodge it and let it loose into your bloodstream--at that point it can end up in the lungs as a pulmonary embolism.

What? I was talking about my pet baby cow.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 10:45 AM on August 20, 2005

Oh come on, folks, they've been selling this stuff for months! The best is to read the comments/feedback for items like the Hitachi Magic Wand...
posted by gleenyc at 10:51 AM on August 20, 2005

finally, i can get the Colt Anal Douche from a place i trust online!
posted by Hackworth at 11:31 AM on August 20, 2005

Rabbit pearl's suck. If you're really serious about getting off, get a Wahl or a Hitachi Magic.

/no comment
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:50 AM on August 20, 2005

Laugh all you want, but at the SF Electronic Music Festical last night I saw a lady use one of these vibrating massage gloves for part of her performance with a full harp.
The sounds she got moving the vibrator glove around the miked and prepared harp were amazing.

So maybe it's an Amazon electronic music store, not a sex shop!
posted by freebird at 12:30 PM on August 20, 2005

Laugh all you want, but at the SF Electronic Music Festical last night I saw a lady use one of these vibrating massage gloves for part of her performance with a full harp.
The sounds she got moving the vibrator glove around the miked and prepared harp were amazing.

Freebird!
posted by substrate at 12:41 PM on August 20, 2005

posted by moonbird at 1:03 PM on August 20, 2005

This post, it vibrates?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:05 PM on August 20, 2005

It more sort of echoes, really.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:35 PM on August 20, 2005

Mick: dammit, I wanted to say that.

So if I start buying vibes on Amazon, that means more dildo recommendations and fewer dvd recommendations on my start page, right?
posted by jennanemone at 2:21 PM on August 20, 2005

Can't wait to see the Amazon purchase circles
for sex toys.

Purchase Circles > Geography > United States > Washington, D.C.
Amazon.com Purchase Circles See What's Selling
See top-selling or uniquely popular items in Washington, D.C..

1. Rabbit Pearl Wireless Vibrator
posted by thedailygrowl at 3:14 PM on August 20, 2005

You know what's downright creepy? I bought a new copy of Lolita on Amazon awhile back, and the next day my recommendations page listed the 36-pack of Durex condoms.
posted by scody at 3:17 PM on August 20, 2005

This item can not be returned. If it needs to be serviced or replaced, we recommend that you contact the manufacturer.

And you thought you had a shitty job. Repairing damaged/malfunctioning used vibrators is probably not on anyone's 3rd grade report card under "what I want to be when I grow up".
posted by Ynoxas at 5:08 PM on August 20, 2005

"Rabbit pearl's suck. If you're really serious about getting off, get a Wahl or a Hitachi Magic.

/no comment
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:50 AM PST on August 20 [!]"
I agree. Bullet, baby, the bullet....
posted by WaterSprite at 5:46 PM on August 20, 2005

They appear to have a couple of things for the gents as well. (NSFW, obviously)
posted by clevershark at 5:54 PM on August 20, 2005

They have an odd idea about Women's Party & Evening Wear (scroll down for the Hustler Maid Outfit). Wonder what I'll find in Women's "Professional" attire.
posted by CG at 7:57 PM on August 20, 2005

Conventional vibrators can be effective for men, as well. It seems odd to me that this doesn't occur to most people.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:09 PM on August 20, 2005

Now I want a Quert schmarble.
posted by maxsparber at 11:40 PM on August 20, 2005

I know that you can clear out your recently viewed items page, so I went there after clicking all of the links on this post so far. They recommended me a couple other interesting items, such as the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank and the Attack Alligator.
posted by matildaben at 12:43 AM on August 21, 2005

I say we have a MetaTank fund and when metafilter get senough to buy a tank, they pimp it out and drive around major citys as advertising.
Or something like that.
posted by Suparnova at 12:03 PM on August 21, 2005

Mark Morford recently wrote a highly entertaining (as usual) article on this.
posted by nTeleKy at 6:08 PM on August 21, 2005

Now I want a Quert schmarble. - maxsparber

I had one, but then the darned Attack Alligator ate it. And now I can't even replace it, what with it being out of stock.
posted by dejah420 at 9:26 PM on August 21, 2005