Our Caribbean Cruise

August 23, 2005 10:26 PM

Our Caribbean Cruise. I am not quite sure what to make of this. A man takes his dying wife on a carribean cruise and seems determined to take a photo of every moment of their time togther for the folks back home. At times sad and poignant, especially at the end, and at other times a curious mixture of the tedious and creepy. A very human story.
posted by vac2003 (45 comments total)

Doesn't seem to be working for me...
posted by zardoz at 10:47 PM on August 23, 2005

Soooooo sloooooow.... I predict bandwidth failure in 5... 4... 3...
posted by rolypolyman at 10:50 PM on August 23, 2005

0.
posted by metaculpa at 11:04 PM on August 23, 2005

OK, so it's not just my pooter.

After 5 minutes of loading I got about 5% of one picture and then gave up.

Which is kind of a shame coz you piqued my interest.


(Not as much of a shame as this bloke losing his wife, granted!)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:40 PM on August 23, 2005

Can we make fun of her yet?
She's dead, right?
The guy isn't a poster here, is he?
posted by Balisong at 11:53 PM on August 23, 2005

Well, here is a crude mirror of two of the pages (images not clickable). It's the first day of the trip and the epilogue. I'll be taking them down in a couple of days as I figure the legality of this mirror is kind of murky.
posted by rolypolyman at 11:55 PM on August 23, 2005

Isn't a coral cache a way to do this?
posted by bobo123 at 12:13 AM on August 24, 2005

LOL rolypolyman!

The first link I clicked on I got a series of Zod pictures, you jokester, you.

One of my fave movie lines: "Kneel before Zod."
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:17 AM on August 24, 2005

As the other ship passed by, its passengers lined up at the railings and jeered at us, because we were still at anchor.

Love it!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:19 AM on August 24, 2005

I think he mistook the folded up towel as a crab, it appears to actually be a lobster. IDIOT.
posted by fire&wings at 3:36 AM on August 24, 2005

Another kind tourist takes our photo in the gate area at 6:30 PM. I'm not sure why Jan looks startled as I did my best to make this part of the trip stress-free. Perhaps she's contemplating the future.

OH CRAP! The GUN! Where is... Oh. There it is. Right in my purse. Along with the $10,000 in cash for the cab driver. They'll surely know where a landfill... Gawd another photo. Yes dear, our time together certainly is short. Thanks so much for reminding me. Again. So short, in fact, that I probably won't make it to trial. But you, my sweet, will not make it to the plane home.
posted by hal9k at 3:45 AM on August 24, 2005

So slow. The mirror shows just how creepy it is, though, so thanks for that.
posted by OmieWise at 5:24 AM on August 24, 2005

This is why digital cameras suck.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:43 AM on August 24, 2005

Why is this 'creepy'? To me it just seems sad & very personal, especially the obit. Granted, they chose to publish their personal experience through a very public medium, but I doubt they thought it'd be analyzed on discussion forums like this.
posted by dhoyt at 6:02 AM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

Taking care of a wife (or other loved one) with cancer is not an easy thing to do...I know, I was the wife with cancer and in many ways it was more difficult for my mate than for me. You really don't know what it'll take to get through this kind of experience...like obsessively putting a camera between yourself and your dying wife...not such a big deal, really.

Cancer happens and it happens a lot.

Have heart.
posted by shimmerglimpse at 6:06 AM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

I'm with dhoyt - nothing creepy about this. Just sad. Certainly a better use for a digital camera than most of the drivel on flickr and all those crap photoblogs.
posted by twistedonion at 6:12 AM on August 24, 2005

My problem with it all is not that the guy wants to somehow hold on to these last moments with the woman he loves, very understandable, its that his captions are extremely anally-retentive and yet often wrong (at least the ones of the pictures I could get to download).

For example: Antigua (pronounces An-tee-ga not An-tee-gwa) Named by Columbus for the cathedral in Seville. Um, mister, that would be An-tee-gwa, it's Spanish. Another: A tugboat sailed past though his picture shows a ferry boat.

Now, I know that I'm being nit-picky, but I would be far more forgiving if he weren't so darn anal!
posted by Pollomacho at 6:15 AM on August 24, 2005

Now, I know that I'm being nit-picky, but I would be far more forgiving if he weren't so darn anal!

I think you are being a bit anal with your nitpicking ;-)
posted by twistedonion at 6:23 AM on August 24, 2005

This is so indescribably sad. I'm gonna go hug my husband.
posted by Emperor Yamamoto's Eggs at 6:23 AM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

I think you are being a bit anal with your nitpicking ;-)

Yeah, I know, but it just drives me nuts when someone is really overly anal about details and then those details are wrong. Arg! If he just showed me some pictures with captions, I'd be all, like, "that's cool," but he didn't, so I'm all, like, "that sucks" and stuff.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:38 AM on August 24, 2005

This kind of obsessive photo-documentation is the kind of thing I do on a daily basis. I can imagine taking it to another level with a personal illness or the illness of a loved one. Very moving.

I really want to tone all these pictures. Do you think the guy would appreciate it? I mean, they'd look worlds better...
posted by TheGoldenOne at 6:38 AM on August 24, 2005

We're hitting a new low, here, picking apart someone's coping mechanism for the sake of a few lame jokes.
posted by ook at 6:45 AM on August 24, 2005

I think his coping mechanism is fine. I know that if my wife were about to die from cancer I would want to hold onto those moments with everything at my disposal. There is nothing unusual or abnormal about that.

My coping mechanism for life is to make lame jokes.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:06 AM on August 24, 2005

Yeah, I know, but it just drives me nuts when someone is really overly anal about details and then those details are wrong. Arg! If he just showed me some pictures with captions, I'd be all, like, "that's cool," but he didn't, so I'm all, like, "that sucks" and stuff.

I would agree if this was an editorial on the bbc or something but I guess my take on it is that this site was maybe meant for their family and friends and of course the grieving Husband. Let's face it, the guy was probably grieving from the minute he heard that his wife was terminally ill.

If it is merely a personal documentation of their experience then I'd rather it was flawed. He believed something to be true that wasn't and he documented that. Why try going about cleaning it up? If I was him (and it was obviously his intention) then I would want to remember my last trip with my loved one as it was. If he thought it was a crab on the bed, fuck it... it was a crab.

I did a check on google for the pronunciation of Antigua - hardly a dictionary definition (funny what google brings up!) but I still haven't found anything to dispute his belief. I guess it's one of those "you say potato...."

You can pretty much tell who's been to Antigua, and who hasn't by the way they pronounce "Antigua." Those who have been there pronounce it as "an-tee'-gah." We here (in the U.S.) have traditionally pronounced it "an-teeg'-wah."
posted by twistedonion at 7:12 AM on August 24, 2005

This is pretty sad, aside from the super slow mo loads and huge pics (hmm, are they connected?) I don't see anything wrong or creepy with this guy doing as much as he can to remember his wife, who he obviously loved.

Sure, it might not be what others do but others aren't the ones coping with the loss of their wife and best friend.
posted by fenriq at 7:12 AM on August 24, 2005

Um, mister, that would be An-tee-gwa, it's Spanish.

You're entirely wrong. I went to Antigua last year and the citizens of that country call their island "An-tee-gah."
posted by bshort at 7:25 AM on August 24, 2005

I can agree with what you say twistedonion, however he didn't put it on a personal forum. It isn't like we hacked this guy's hard drive, he posted it on the web, the world-wide web. Now the likelihood of us finding his site are about the same as his finding this site, so do I think he's ever going to see what I've written, no, not really. If he thinks it's a crab, he's going to go on thinking it's a crab.

The people of Antigua may say An-tee-ga, I don't know, don't care, but I'm not the one who insisted on a specific pronunciation of a word. The word he insisted be pronounced a certain way is not pronounced the way he insisted it be pronounced in the language of its origin, which he presented. It means old lady.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:30 AM on August 24, 2005

It doesn't really matter what the strict Spanish pronunciation of "Antigua" happens to be. The name of the country is pronounced "An-tee-gah."

There's a town near Boston who's name is spelled "Peabody" and which is pronounced "Peebuhdie."

There's another town near Boston whose name is spelled "Worcester" and which is pronounced "Woo-ster."

Are you seriously suggesting that the residents of these places are wrong?
posted by bshort at 7:44 AM on August 24, 2005

It's sometimes also pronounced "Wuh-stah".
posted by bshort at 7:45 AM on August 24, 2005

If he's a little off on the details, maybe it's because he was preoccupied with his dying wife. He could have confused a crab with a cocker spaniel and pronounced Antigua "Pittsburgh" for all I care. It doesn't take away from the fact that this man obviously loved his wife very much.
posted by jrossi4r at 7:46 AM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

The word he insisted be pronounced a certain way is not pronounced the way he insisted it be pronounced in the language of its origin, which he presented.

It is the way it is pronounced in Antigua and that's what matters. He was correct. You were wrong. It's probably likely that he went there, called it antig-wah, was corrected and wrote down what he learnt.

My hometown is called Newtownards but we pronounce it Newt-nards

The area I grew up in was the bowtown estate. We called it the boo-ton estate.

come on pollo, be macho and admit defeat on that one :-)
posted by twistedonion at 7:53 AM on August 24, 2005

Yes, Antiguans pronounce the name of their island as An-tee-ga.

There, are you happy.

I still say it was a ferry boat though.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:55 AM on August 24, 2005

I think we should start a campaign to correct the pronunciation of Antiguans, so they pronounce the name of their country the right way.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:09 AM on August 24, 2005

Why not, it worked for Mumbai and Sri Lanka?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:21 AM on August 24, 2005

The people here who are making fun of this are complete assholes. This guy is clearly using this as away to deal with his grief, some sort of therapy to help him get past the hardship of losing his wife to cancer. To those who feel that jokes are needed: grow up and get a life.
posted by camworld at 9:17 AM on August 24, 2005

There's another town near Boston whose name is spelled "Worcester" and which is pronounced "Woo-ster."

You're entirely wrong. I went to Worcester last year and the citizens of that city call it "War-chester.."
posted by SweetJesus at 10:08 AM on August 24, 2005

very sad site, indeed, and quite touching. (Balisong, tell me you were joking - that woman has a lot of the beauty that comes from dignity.)

bshort, as a former Wuh-stah girl, you are right on the money. Also called Wormtown. SweetJesus, you goofball, don't you war-chester me. Are you editorializing on our munitions connections? Yup, famous for the M16. And the birth control pill, kinda cancel each other out, no?
posted by madamjujujive at 10:20 AM on August 24, 2005

It is a very moving site. It's good that they were able to have some good memories toward the end.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:26 AM on August 24, 2005

bshort, as a former Wuh-stah girl, you are right on the money. Also called Wormtown. SweetJesus, you goofball, don't you war-chester me. Are you editorializing on our munitions connections? Yup, famous for the M16. And the birth control pill, kinda cancel each other out, no?

It was a joke. But if I ever need a brick of heroin and a pallet of grenades, I know exactly where to go.
posted by SweetJesus at 10:37 AM on August 24, 2005

Most people in Boston pronounce it Wiss-ter, even the news anchors.

As for the cruise thing, it would have been much sadder if Jan was hot. But it was still very sad.
posted by dannynewbs at 2:08 PM on August 24, 2005

however he didn't put it on a personal forum. It isn't like we hacked this guy's hard drive, he posted it on the web, the world-wide web.

So what, he has to keep his grief bottled up inside? It's ok for him to remember his wife as long as he does it where no one can see? I think you, like little Ry Ry in the other thread, lacked love in your upbringing, and thus are incapable of human emotion yourself.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 2:27 PM on August 24, 2005

What? Who said anything about keeping it bottled up? Through your over abundance of emotions, I believe you have overlooked my defense of his site, but forget about that, your out-of-context quotation was regarding the talk about the site itself not for the emotional content it contains. The point was not that he should not have emotions, but rather if someone voices those emotions on a billboard visible around the world then they should expect that people are going to see it.
posted by Pollomacho at 2:39 PM on August 24, 2005

Are they eaten by bears at the end?
posted by klangklangston at 3:05 PM on August 24, 2005

Klangklangston: Are they eaten by bears at the end.

Yes. But the photo guy says they are being eaten by black bears when they are clearly being eaten by grizzly bears.

This guy and his unfathomable grief are LAME.
posted by Justinian at 3:18 PM on August 24, 2005

This guy and his unfathomable grief are LAME

The scrawny testicles dangling from someone's paunchy groin which will someday sprout painful tumours and consume their body are also lame.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:40 PM on August 24, 2005