For those about to rawk \m/

August 31, 2005 11:18 AM

The Rawker!"The mullet hanging out of the back of the trucker hat, the fact that he's topless and occasionally forgets the lyrics (and must read them from an index card), the chinese zodiac calendar hanging on the wall, just below the window dressing - BUT THERE'S NO WINDOW... And the music! IT RAWKS!"
posted by KevinSkomsvold (37 comments total)

I'm too scared to open up one of those videos. It might melt my eyeballs and permanently plug up my ears.

The Rawker looks a little like BikerFox though. Maybe The Rawker's his bigger, meaner and more rawkiner older brother?
posted by fenriq at 11:23 AM on August 31, 2005

Heheh.. Thats what I thought too!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:26 AM on August 31, 2005

That dude's talented. You'd expect him to break into Bon Scott falsetto, but no - he's too smart for that.
posted by fungible at 11:32 AM on August 31, 2005

Oops. In all this exitement I forgot to mention that these are .wmv files.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:32 AM on August 31, 2005

This is what the internet is for.
posted by dobbs at 11:34 AM on August 31, 2005

I wish people would use the mullet tag more often
posted by dripdripdrop at 11:40 AM on August 31, 2005

Who Is The Rawker?

I've already gone over all this on the home page, so here's a random picture of Brian Bosworth:
posted by disgruntled at 11:41 AM on August 31, 2005

Brilliant. Just brilliant. The hat and fuzzy mullet just add the final touches. I suspect that this is Kim Mitchell looking for his next gig and affecting a southern accent to throw people off ("Who Made Who" sung southern-style is...indescribable).

And what dobbs said.
posted by biscotti at 11:43 AM on August 31, 2005

They told me these would never get out. Look, I was young. I needed the money.
posted by jonmc at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2005

Nice curtains. Who shot the talent agent?
posted by hal9k at 11:56 AM on August 31, 2005

Money, Jon? Just how much did you get? I'll double it if you perform at my next party.
posted by Item at 12:00 PM on August 31, 2005

He looks like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs, to me.

Normally, I'm not for profiling, but the Police can search his house for dead girls if they want.
posted by stifford at 12:02 PM on August 31, 2005

Kidding aside, I'm pretty ambivalent about stuff like this. It's a bit too "let's laugh at the freak," for my taste. Although I admit he's a crappy singer, he had the balls to step up and try.
posted by jonmc at 12:03 PM on August 31, 2005

Although I admit he's a crappy singer, he had the balls to step up and try.

Thats the angle that the rawker.com site is claiming as well.

I have to admit, theres something slightly suspicious about someone leaving all of these tapes somewhere with no contact infomation (pertinent if you want to get an audition). Whatever the motivation, he's certainly getting good pub for it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:11 PM on August 31, 2005

I'm with jonmc. Though, not in the Biblical sense.
posted by squirrel at 12:11 PM on August 31, 2005

Oh and Jon, he's not a freak in my eyes; this is every guy I knew growing up in those hot Minnesota summers, drinking Blatz beers and playing air guitar to "Hot Blooded" on the hood of someones Cutlass.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:13 PM on August 31, 2005

this is every guy I knew growing up in those hot Minnesota summers, drinking Blatz beers and playing air guitar to "Hot Blooded" on the hood of someones Cutlass.

I was one of those guys, kev. Maybe that's why it hits close to home. Although even I can sing better than him.
posted by jonmc at 12:16 PM on August 31, 2005

He has a hat on so we can't really tell if he has a mullet.

His hat is a ball cap and not a "trucker hat."

The window dressing is covering the window.

The "zodiac calendar" is a Chinese poster of some kind, not anything astrological.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:17 PM on August 31, 2005

Blatz beer? I always thought it was an urban myth. It really exists?
posted by fenriq at 12:21 PM on August 31, 2005

Is Pollomacho Spanish for Buzzkill?
posted by fenriq at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2005

... and an Internet legend was born.
posted by internal at 12:25 PM on August 31, 2005

To KevinSkomsvold: \m/ \m/
posted by numlok at 12:40 PM on August 31, 2005

Fenriq, the Blatz was all too real, believe me. I deposited it on many people throughout my drinking career who can attest.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:47 PM on August 31, 2005

I almost posted this a couple days ago, but didn't, figuring the thread would soon fill up with "This is not teh best of the web!!" comments. I, for one, love this side (underbelly) of the web. I don't care if the page isn't well designed, or if the video's blurry. The Rawker is class A entertainment, especially when he goes off camera for his 3x5 flash card, right before he does his big ambulance impersonation. Truly classic stuff.
posted by Devils Rancher at 12:52 PM on August 31, 2005

If you carefully pour Blatz and Zima into the same glass, they'll form a horribly toxic layered drink we dubbed a "piss and clear."
posted by nickmark at 1:00 PM on August 31, 2005

haha...this is funny. He still sounds better than Ashlee Simpson though!
posted by j.p. Hung at 1:12 PM on August 31, 2005

I TRIED watching the whole thing, but had to bail when he threatened to give me every inch of his love.
posted by itchylick at 1:29 PM on August 31, 2005

had to bail when he threatened to give me every inch of his love

I stayed, and now I'm a changed man.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:40 PM on August 31, 2005

He sounds surprisingly like some of The Residents' early albums.
posted by ook at 1:41 PM on August 31, 2005

Rokr?

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a mullet, but that basement-like windowless room reeks of pent up and failed ambition, which certainly doesn't make him a freak, if anything, all the more human.

I'd rather listen to him than Ashlee Simpson or any number of MTV crapfloods. Though listening to his weird, drunken timing without a backing track is giving me the crawling heebies.
posted by loquacious at 1:45 PM on August 31, 2005

I had a friend once - an ex-military type - who's girlfriend was one of those who was always buying him stuff for his apartment - like bedding and decorative pillows. She had conivinced him to convert a blank wall into a fake window - with a painting of old sailing ship on the ocean and curtains hanging around it. It was the strangest thing I had ever seen. They got married.
posted by wfrgms at 2:52 PM on August 31, 2005

I love when he looks up the lyrics in "Whole Lotta Love" (and I'm pretty sure Led Zeppelin used vocal effects on that song, but bless him for trying).
posted by kirkaracha at 2:57 PM on August 31, 2005

Once, in an evening of drunken stupidity, my friends and I decided to record ourselves singing -- I think someone had a kareoke (sp?) machine.

I'm really glad that tape was destroyed, but I think we still sounded better than the Rawker.
posted by jrochest at 3:21 PM on August 31, 2005

I saw this on transbuddha and the story there is that this guy was in a band but they had no monitors. Then they bought some monitors. And then they sacked him.

I like that story. I don't care if it's not true.
posted by Decani at 5:25 PM on August 31, 2005

Normally, I'm not for profiling, but the Police can search his house for dead girls if they want.

Stewart Copeland is, strangely, unavailable for comment on this.
posted by tristeza at 5:45 PM on August 31, 2005

This guy reminds me (oddly enough) of the freakish serial rapist/killer in Silence of the Lambs.
posted by WaterSprite at 8:31 PM on August 31, 2005

He should team up with Ruby Topaz.
posted by atom128 at 10:22 AM on September 1, 2005