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September 6, 2005 3:20 AM   Subscribe


 
crikey he can sing flat...
posted by tzibo at 3:34 AM on September 6, 2005


[dumb-struck by the wit]
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:49 AM on September 6, 2005


It's funny. I liked it. Disturbingly, however, the chorus is still stuck in my head.
posted by nomis at 4:02 AM on September 6, 2005


How about a warning that it loads Quicktime?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 4:03 AM on September 6, 2005


Glum Rock
posted by funambulist at 4:14 AM on September 6, 2005


It's so true, though, isn't it? Coldplay really really get on my norks - white middle-class guys vomiting their angst in a spectacularly musically unadventurous way. Bah. Bring back Motorhead, that's what I say ....
posted by Pericles at 4:15 AM on September 6, 2005


direct link (warning: quicktime)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:24 AM on September 6, 2005


The bassist is kinda cute.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:25 AM on September 6, 2005


if Apple crap is good enough for Rush it should be good enough for you, S@L ;)
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 4:30 AM on September 6, 2005


As a parody I didn't think much of that song, but I thought the video was good, it captured Chris Martin's mannerisms well. God I hate Coldplay. All their songs sound the same. Admittedly, it is quite a good song, but after 3 albums worth of different versions of it, it grows incredibly tiresome.
If you want a Coldplay with talent, try Elbow. I like them. And my tastes are all that matter at the end day.
posted by chill at 4:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Speaking of Coldplay, I went to a wedding this weekend...the bride came down the aisle to an instrumental rendition of Clocks.

I ain't lying.
posted by konolia at 5:01 AM on September 6, 2005


If you want a Coldplay with talent...
Try Radiohead.
posted by Jon-o at 5:06 AM on September 6, 2005


It's just meaningless and easy listening. I can't believe people find so much to hate about it. It's just background.

This guy captured their formula however, and that's worth a laugh.
posted by Acey at 5:07 AM on September 6, 2005


Please don't call Radiohead 'Coldplay with talent'.
posted by Acey at 5:11 AM on September 6, 2005


I lost track of where it was said here on metafilter, but this fits perfectly: "COldplay is the sound of suburban couples losing thier will to live."
posted by notsnot at 5:22 AM on September 6, 2005


Steve_at_Linnwood: Sorry about not warning about Quicktime. My bad.
posted by feelinglistless at 5:26 AM on September 6, 2005


Man, somebody made me a mix once that had Snow Patrol, Elbow and Keane on it. They called it "The Pretty Snow can Kill," to which the response was "Yeah, by boring you to death."

Starsailor sounds like this too.
And Coldplay is the Brit Dave Matthews Band.
posted by klangklangston at 5:35 AM on September 6, 2005


I remember hearing this on one of those irritating Footlightsy Radio 4 comedy programmes (the Now Show, maybe?) and laughing for about a week. It really is spot on.

Please don't call Radiohead 'Coldplay with talent'.

How about 'Coldplay with delusions of grandeur'? Or 'Coldplay with an insufferably pretentious twist'? I know, I know, many folk with fine taste in and wide knowledge of music rate Radiohead highly, but I will never, ever understand why. Dull bibble (with the possible exception of one or two tracks on that electronic music album they made - Kid A?)
posted by jack_mo at 5:37 AM on September 6, 2005


Okay.... I don't know that I've ever actually heard a song by Coldplay. If I have, I don't recall it, specifically. I've heard the name of the band. Am I some kind of freak?
posted by Clay201 at 5:43 AM on September 6, 2005


jack_mo: How about 'Coldplay with delusions of grandeur'? Or 'Coldplay with an insufferably pretentious twist'?

How about Coldplay simply trying to be like Radiohead and not succeeding in the slightest? They just don't get it, for reasons I can't explain. This is why Radiohead have shunned Coldplay and I think lots of people except Coldplay fans understand why.

As for Radiohead, I like them because they write good songs with more than just a good tune, and because they aren't afraid to try new things and have an opinion. Coldplay does none of this.
posted by Acey at 5:47 AM on September 6, 2005


Clay201, I bet you've heard tons of Coldplay. It's just so bland that you've probably never noticed.
posted by sciurus at 6:00 AM on September 6, 2005


It's funny because it's true!
posted by easternblot at 6:01 AM on September 6, 2005


It's true because it's funny.
posted by OmieWise at 6:04 AM on September 6, 2005


I like Coldplay and Radiohead.
Your favorite band sucks.
posted by signal at 6:08 AM on September 6, 2005


"signing off" "this is gorgeous, signing off"
. . ."and if it comes across the british airwaves, do just that"
posted by nola at 6:13 AM on September 6, 2005


Coldplay = Genesis
Chris Martin = Phil Collins
posted by foot at 6:26 AM on September 6, 2005


The only Radiohead song in my library is the Richard Cheese version of "Creep".
posted by gimonca at 6:29 AM on September 6, 2005


I have no idea what you're all talking about. Every Coldplay song sounds completely different to me. Beautiful music. Oh, that's right, this is Metafilter. Keep cuttin' down those tall poppies guys.
posted by Jase_B at 6:30 AM on September 6, 2005


Please don't call Radiohead 'Coldplay with talent'.

If Coldplay is Radiohead without talent, why is it insulting to call Radiohead Coldplay with talent?

I remember them being described as "Radiohead Light" when they first apeared.
posted by delmoi at 6:32 AM on September 6, 2005


"white middle-class guys vomiting their angst in a spectacularly musically unadventurous way"

very true, but in the "mummy, what should i do with my privilege? wahhh, i don't knowwwww what to dooooo!" genre, coldplay > american emo bands by a really really big margin
posted by maura at 6:34 AM on September 6, 2005


Coldplay don't produce music, they produce muzak. It doesn't provoke any emotional response, it's just... there. Bland, safe and a useful tool for minor-league "celebrities" when they're asked what music they're into during magazine interviews and need an utterly "safe" response but still want to appear to be "down with the kids." As foot pointed out, this was a role previously occupied by pre-Disney era Phil Collins and Queen before him. IMO.
posted by NeonSurge at 7:00 AM on September 6, 2005


my first reaction to "Everything Sounds Like Coldplay Now" on reading the link was; "I hope not".

On watching the video I guess it sounded more like a Muse song than a cold play song, cos he just wasnt whiney enough.

Like the idea though. Perhaps there next parody can be of all the "the" band out there, the killers, the zutons, the white stripes etc.

I dont think comparing Radiohead to Coldplay is just; I dont think Coldplay where ever trying to be Radiohead. Perhaps trying to be JJ72 perhaps (who where billed as the next Radiohead, no idea why).

As for good Radiohead covers I have a rap version by Chino XL thats surprisingly good, despite the fact I dont really like that crazy hippity hop.
posted by 13twelve at 7:00 AM on September 6, 2005


I think it sounds more like Hey Hey, My My ... or is that the point?
posted by sohcahtoa at 7:02 AM on September 6, 2005


I heard this on Mitch Benn's obscure Radio 4 show and I'm glad to see it's a single.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:06 AM on September 6, 2005


I'm not going to waste precious seconds of my life shitting on this Hallmark condolence card of a band. Let us instead list some artists who do not suck.

Has everyone heard The Books?
posted by fleetmouse at 7:15 AM on September 6, 2005


delmoi: If Coldplay is Radiohead without talent, why is it insulting to call Radiohead Coldplay with talent?

Damn you and your logic! All I know is I went from being indifferent to hating Coldplay today.
posted by Acey at 7:19 AM on September 6, 2005


That doesn't sound anything like Coldplay. I mean... I don't even like Coldplay and that pissed me off. It's shite. It's not funny at all. It's even worse than the crap 'musical' comedy bits they used to do on Not the Nine O'clock News.
posted by jiroczech at 7:26 AM on September 6, 2005


Coldplay are nothing like Radiohead. They have nothing in common except the moaney voice. Coldplay are more like Travis, even later Supergrass, than Radiohead. Boring 4 piece rock that ocassionaly breaks out and "experiments" with a banjo or piano.

When they started out they were trying to be Jeff Buckley. Listen to Shiver, it is identikit "Grace" era Jeff Buckley songwriting. They have merely dumbed down this formula for mainstream appeal.
posted by fire&wings at 7:31 AM on September 6, 2005


Wow. Nobody here likes Coldplay, and instead likes amazing bands that nobody's ever heard of. Again, I'm simply awestruck by how cool us Mefites are.... Does the outside world know of our superiority?
posted by Elpoca at 7:34 AM on September 6, 2005


Wow. The lack of anything resembling real criticism here makes it all the easier to say something positive. As someone who has listened to Coldplay since Brothers and Sisters, and who also abhors the whole catalog of emo knockoff bullshit, it's pretty funny to see the pile-on that has occurred with Coldplay lately. The live show I just saw was phenomenal, and far from being an "arena rock spectacle", the best moments were things like the band clustering at front-stage for acoustic Johnny Cash renditions and Chris Martin ad-libbing when he flubbed the lyrics. I regret as much as anyone that "Clocks" has become the next Vangelis anthem, but sooner or later everything gets co-opted if it has an ounce of appeal.
posted by docpops at 7:37 AM on September 6, 2005


docpops, take your crazy talk elsewhere! Everyone knows Coldplay sucks! What's it like to be so uncool?!
posted by Elpoca at 7:42 AM on September 6, 2005


Not a big Coldplay fan but they are a bunch of very talented fellas. Their live shows are outstanding and the music is brilliant. I just can't take to yer mans voice at all. Doesn't mean they are crap though, just him.
posted by twistedonion at 7:44 AM on September 6, 2005


white middle-class guys vomiting their angst in a spectacularly musically unadventurous way.

what does being white or middle-class have to do with anything regarding how adventurous their music is?
posted by lotsofno at 7:46 AM on September 6, 2005


All their songs sound the same. Admittedly, it is quite a good song, but after 3 albums worth of different versions of it, it grows incredibly tiresome.

Chill, are you sure you arent talking about Whitney Houston?
posted by MrLint at 7:48 AM on September 6, 2005


Teehee... as I read this thread KEXP played an elbow song and a snow patrol song...
posted by freq at 7:50 AM on September 6, 2005




Wow. Nobody here likes Coldplay, and instead likes amazing bands that nobody's ever heard of. Again, I'm simply awestruck by how cool us Mefites are.... Does the outside world know of our superiority?

You shouldn't take the fact that a bunch of people don't like the same music you like so personally. And really, there's only been one obscure band mentioned here.
posted by chill at 7:53 AM on September 6, 2005


It doesn't really make sense to call Radiohead "Coldplay with talent" because Radiohead preceded them.
posted by knave at 7:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Well, I hate Coldplay and I love Radiohead. Just like any decent, right-thinking person with good musical taste would.
posted by Decani at 7:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Fleetmouse: I'm not going to waste precious seconds of my life shitting on this Hallmark condolence card of a band. Let us instead list some artists who do not suck.

the only reason anyone still likes Radiohead is because they've yet to hear Porcupine Tree. In my opinion, of course.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Chill, are you sure you arent talking about Whitney Houston?
Sorry, I don't get the reference? I know f-all about Whitney Houston.
posted by chill at 7:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Best part: Where the camera tilts up towards the ceiling when the chorus hits, as if blown away by the power of their music. That's a classic video cliche.

Really, I bet this guy likes Coldplay. Do you think Weird Al hated every band he made fun of?
posted by fungible at 7:55 AM on September 6, 2005


"the only reason anyone still likes Radiohead is because they've yet to hear Porcupine Tree. In my opinion, of course."

Wow, Geddy Lee has hardly aged at all!
posted by fleetmouse at 7:57 AM on September 6, 2005


If Coldplay were really trying to be Radiohead, they'd do something more interesting. It seems they're just trying to be Bends-era Radiohead.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:03 AM on September 6, 2005


Wow, Geddy Lee has hardly aged at all!

Help me with the sarcastic reference. Do they sound like Rush, or do they look like Rush? Sorry for being dense, and note the "opinion" part of my post. My opinion of Radiohead is probably inferior to yours, anyway.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:03 AM on September 6, 2005


Coldplay started to suck when Peter Gabriel left the band.
posted by parki at 8:05 AM on September 6, 2005


Metafilter: Are you sure you aren't talking about Whitney Houston?
posted by Rothko at 8:05 AM on September 6, 2005


fungible, you're completely wrong and your taste in video cliches sucks! the best part is unarguably when he does the little run around the drummer and them comes back to the mic.
posted by funambulist at 8:06 AM on September 6, 2005


And really, there's only been one obscure band mentioned here.

Yeah, who is this radio head everyone keeps talking about?
posted by twistedonion at 8:06 AM on September 6, 2005


God, the Coldplay fans in this thread are vicious.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:06 AM on September 6, 2005



posted by Stynxno at 8:07 AM on September 6, 2005


Porcupine Tree sort of sounded like a collision of Metallica and CSN.
posted by josephtate at 8:09 AM on September 6, 2005


All their songs sound the same.

I always thought of that as the battle cry of old people everywhere. I knew that once I uttered these words, I was no longer hip, cool, or "with it." These are the words that my parents uttered towards any music I ever liked. These are the same words uttered by my parents parents towards the likes of Elvis and The Beatles. "Every song sounds the same" is always uttered by those who have no grasp of the music they are trying to cut down. It's an easy out.

Granted, Coldplay are no Elvis or Beatles, but I'm just sayin' ... some persppective is needed.
posted by afx114 at 8:13 AM on September 6, 2005


knave:
It doesn't really make sense to call Radiohead "Coldplay with talent" because Radiohead preceded them.


That's what I should have said.

fleetmouse: God, the Coldplay fans in this thread are vicious.

Has anyone tried playing Coldplay backwards? Just askin'...
posted by Acey at 8:13 AM on September 6, 2005


Really, this is a video of people who can't even sound like Coldplay. Now who is being lame?

And yes your favourite band does suck. Just make a FPP about them here and watch and see.

If Jesus had a band and their music healed the sick there would be 200 mefites who would say that healing the sick was just crass Roman Catholic commercialism and was denying the sick the true deep experience of their illness.

If people like Coldplay, let them. Whether you critique their choices or not, you are not one bit cooler than you were,which was not very.
posted by srboisvert at 8:14 AM on September 6, 2005


The Handsome Family is also good.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:17 AM on September 6, 2005


Actually I quite like Coldplay. But I prefer Mitch Benn ...
posted by feelinglistless at 8:17 AM on September 6, 2005


"Jesus and the Legion of pigs"
posted by NinjaPirate at 8:20 AM on September 6, 2005


"Every song sounds the same" is always uttered by those who have no grasp of the music they are trying to cut down.

Unless all of the songs sound the same.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:21 AM on September 6, 2005


A few years ago we where watching Muse at the L2, Liverpool, UK before Coldplay launched Parachutes. Well the week before.

And the support band was Coldplay, who at the time, none of us had heard of.

We watched their set and said "Well, they where sht, we'll never hear from them again".

And we where totally wrong.

(incidentally Muse played about their most pretencious set I had ever seen and the only real highlight was some scousse slapper who changed into a pvc dress from her regular clothes infront of us in the street cos we have her beer, which was a mistake as she was gross)
posted by 13twelve at 8:22 AM on September 6, 2005


When asked in 2001 by MTV, "How do you guys feel about the fact that bands like Travis, Coldplay, and Muse are making a career sounding exactly like your records did in 1997?", Yorke replied: "Good luck with Kid A."
posted by ackeber at 8:22 AM on September 6, 2005


I ::heart:: stynxno.

Truth be told, I think Radiohead had an excellent single with "Creep," but everything else I've heard from them dosen't do much for me. Same goes for Coldplay. Not so much because of ansty, wallow-in-despair lyrics (hell I could listen to Pink Floyd till the cows come home), but because the music dosen't have enough momentum for my tastes. And I really don't care for the way most "emo," type singers sing.

YMMV.
posted by jonmc at 8:28 AM on September 6, 2005


"The lack of anything resembling real criticism here makes it all the easier to say something positive. As someone who has listened to Coldplay since Brothers and Sisters, and who also abhors the whole catalog of emo knockoff bullshit, it's pretty funny to see the pile-on that has occurred with Coldplay lately."

Real criticism? Maybe if Coldplay were a real band.
Sorry.

Look, one of my co-workers, someone who's more likely to be digging up rare Xenakis sides or Fall bootlegs, loved Coldplay's Parachutes. But he also spends very little of his time in the indie rock millieu. Once you do spend any time there, listening to Coldplay is like having a mouthful of wet cornstarch. There's just no damn flavor to it. It's all mush, all dribbling down your front, and it will never turn into anything. To expand my metaphor to its breaking, Coldplay's OK to have in your mouth, so long as you don't swallow them.

Real criticism? There's nothing there to criticize. There's no daring point that they succeed or fail on, only a dull plodding, an interminable cold front rolling in with grey skies.
If you like, fine. Just admit that you like the Manheim Steamroller of rock, the Bread for the '90s, and that you're enjoying something so sanded-down and devoid of sharp, dangerous edges that it might as well be Play-dough.

In that way, that's where my real ire against Coldplay comes from: Their soporific pablum fills a space where something interesting could go. Instead of rock, there's a cypher in its place. When people are moved by Coldplay, they're being moved by the most banal and pedestrian music that is available. They're reconfirming their worldview instead of challenging it. They're staying at home, safe and tucked-in, instead of experiencing the world. Which is not, by the way, all yellow.
Coldplay is the music of complacency and middle-class boredom. It is music without struggle, and without prize. And when a generation grows up thinking that the role of music is to conform, we can only watch as they become the middle managers of the future.
posted by klangklangston at 8:31 AM on September 6, 2005


For only the 3rd time in his career, Alan McGee got it right when he was talking about Coldplay.

(Well, 4th if you include Primal Scream).
posted by anagrama at 8:31 AM on September 6, 2005


Interesting quote from Thom Yorke (lead of Radiohead) that covers Coldplay's predicament pretty well:

"It's like a supply and demand thing. It's like 'Well, this is what they want me to do, this is what they want to hear. So I'll do more of this, cuz this is great... and they love me.' Suddenly people start giving you money as well. So then you've got money and you get used to this lifestyle. And you don't wanna take any risks cuz they've got you by the balls, and you've got all these little things that you've bought, or you're attached to. And you start spending all this money... And that's how they get ya!"
posted by Acey at 8:32 AM on September 6, 2005


Unless all of the songs sound the same.
Which, of course, they obviously don't! Unless you are tone deaf of course.
posted by twistedonion at 8:33 AM on September 6, 2005


It is music without struggle, and without prize.

Of course it is. It wouldn't be pop otherwise.
posted by twistedonion at 8:34 AM on September 6, 2005


"Of course it is. It wouldn't be pop otherwise."
Bullshit. The best pop music is both catchy and daring. That's what makes it great, instead of boring.
posted by klangklangston at 8:37 AM on September 6, 2005


OBVIOUS...

all the bands you like suck.
posted by jbelshaw at 8:38 AM on September 6, 2005


"Which, of course, they obviously don't! Unless you are tone deaf of course."
'And that snowflake is different than this one! They're all special!"
posted by klangklangston at 8:38 AM on September 6, 2005


Coldplay is the music of complacency and middle-class boredom.

Plenty of good music has been inspired by complacency and middle class boredom (The Who, The Ramones, The Stones, etc). Of all the arguments against Coldhead & Radioplay, that's probably not the best.
posted by jonmc at 8:39 AM on September 6, 2005


If people like Coldplay, let them.

I am afraid that is simply not possible, according to a recent controversial EU regulation that explicitely makes it illegal to like Coldplay. Directive 2004/45/B specifically. You can still buy their records and go to their shows obviously because banning that would not be possible under the free market, unless, of course, they were a Chinese band. Which they aren't. So there you go.

And that is why when someone mentions that they hate Coldplay the discussion gets so, so, sooo serious. It's not just about tastes and opinions you know, it's about regulations. You may not know about it in the US but it's true.
posted by funambulist at 8:42 AM on September 6, 2005


"Plenty of good music has been inspired by complacency and middle class boredom (The Who, The Ramones, The Stones, etc). Of all the arguments against Coldhead & Radioplay, that's probably not the best."
Jon: That music is a reaction against complacency and middle-class boredom, not an affirmation of it. Of your stock retorts, that's probably not the best.
posted by klangklangston at 8:45 AM on September 6, 2005


I'm not really a big fan of Coldplay, but I'm also not so silly to believe that any band who has commercial success is not good. Basically, my point is that this thread is filled with a bunch of wanna-be elitists, as evidenced by klangklangston's lengthy but nonsensical diatribe.

Of course, I like U2 as well, so there's simply no hope for me.
posted by Elpoca at 8:47 AM on September 6, 2005


Heh, the site with the video is down now - "Suspended - Bandwidth Limit Exceeded"...
posted by funambulist at 8:48 AM on September 6, 2005


klankklangston, if you were any more of a boorish pedant I would have to drink Drano from a New Delhi Port-O-John to rid myself of the stank of your bloated, self-important blather.
Christ.
posted by docpops at 8:48 AM on September 6, 2005


um, radiohead is the best band ever.
posted by ackeber at 8:50 AM on September 6, 2005


Elpoca: How, exactly, am I a "wannabe elitist"? Who said that commercial bands aren't any good?
I love straw men as much as the next guy, but arguing from a position of "Well, you guys who don't like this and have reasons are just a buncha haters..."

But then again, you do like U2, who are one of the shittiest #1 bands in history.
posted by klangklangston at 8:50 AM on September 6, 2005


um, radiohead is the best band ever.

Right after Men at Work.
posted by dreamsign at 8:51 AM on September 6, 2005


Elpoca, no one is saying they are not good because they have commercial success.

They are not good because their music is like an endless car ride through a dead-flat landscape on an overcast day, someone just vomited in the back seat and your window won't open.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:53 AM on September 6, 2005


My real ire against your posts comes from my dislike for your soporific pablum. When people are moved by your posts, they're being moved by the most banal and pedestrian text that is available. They're reconfirming their worldview instead of challenging it. It is text without struggle, and without prize.
posted by Elpoca at 8:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Klang: like I said I'm no fan of either band, but where is it written that all good music has to be challenging and hard edged? Sometimes it's just nice to have something dumb and fun to leap around to.

Jon: That music is a reaction against complacency and middle-class boredom, not an affirmation of it. Of your stock retorts, that's probably not the best.

And people have different reactions to that state, my man.
And the "indie rock millieu" that you refer to may be the ultimate manifestation of middle-class boredom played for future middle managers. It's the modern version of the former Dead roadie becoming corporate turk. Just sayin'.
posted by jonmc at 8:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Docpops: If you were more of a plodding stooge, I would have to practise self-trepanation with hand-made flint arrowheads from an extinct tribe of Lamont Young fans from the Amazon to rid myself of the lingering sight of your banal expectorations expounding on your tragic lack of taste.
posted by klangklangston at 8:54 AM on September 6, 2005


radiohead is the best band ever.

you're dumb, dreamsign
posted by ackeber at 8:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Elpoca: Wow, just like your friends Coldplay, you can't come up with anything original!
posted by klangklangston at 8:55 AM on September 6, 2005


ackeber, you're about 19 to 25, female, ex-honor student who takes anti-depressants, right, and thinks Robert Smith is like the. deepest. dude. ever.

Right?
posted by jonmc at 8:56 AM on September 6, 2005


What? They come in second.
posted by dreamsign at 8:57 AM on September 6, 2005


"like I said I'm no fan of either band, but where is it written that all good music has to be challenging and hard edged? Sometimes it's just nice to have something dumb and fun to leap around to."
Jon, dumb and fun are not opposed to interesting or daring. The Ramones were both.
But I'd rather listen to deep album tracks by Norman Greenbaum than even the singles from a Coldplay album.
The objection to Coldplay is the same one that I have to eating Wonderbread: I could live on it, but there's so much good bread out there that I don't have to.
Oh, and people who do are d-u-m dumb. QED.
posted by klangklangston at 9:00 AM on September 6, 2005


Radiohead was worth listening to from The Bends to Kid A, inclusive.
posted by klangklangston at 9:01 AM on September 6, 2005


who takes anti-depressants

no antidepressant can cure you after you've listened to Martin sing generic love songs in that flat whiny monotone of his.

little Apple is adorable, though. God willing, she'll stay away from showbusiness and everything will be OK
posted by PenguinBukkake at 9:03 AM on September 6, 2005


Yes, your teenage cocks are rock hard. Your judgements are 100% accurate. You are all cool. Cooler than the other side of the pillow your mother fluffed for you this morning.
posted by srboisvert at 9:04 AM on September 6, 2005


Jon, dumb and fun are not opposed to interesting or daring.

Dude, listen closely, since when is "daring," a prerequisite for musical enjoyment? I'm listening to the Raspberries right now. Not particularly daring, either musically or lyrically, and not particularly hard edged either, but the songs are still great. I suppose that makes me a middle manager or something.

I don't like Radiohead or Coldplay simply beacuse they're not my bag, (and I reserve them both a little extra ire because people won't shut up about them.) Your musical taste is not a moral crusade.
posted by jonmc at 9:06 AM on September 6, 2005


The only Radiohead song in my library is the Richard Cheese version of "Creep".

"You know folks I was talking with my honey the other day. My Pablo Honey. I said Pablo Honey...I said Pablo Honey, YOU go to my head. My..Radiohead.

OK, Computer!"
posted by solid-one-love at 9:07 AM on September 6, 2005


Bullshit. The best pop music is both catchy and daring. That's what makes it great, instead of boring.

em, where's the struggle in pop music?
posted by twistedonion at 9:09 AM on September 6, 2005


Well, the site linked to in the FPP's bandwidth has been exceeded.

And this is the dumbest thread ever.
posted by item at 9:11 AM on September 6, 2005


'And that snowflake is different than this one! They're all special!"

Did I say the songs were special? I don't particularly like Coldplay but their songs do sound different. Stop being grumpy old men, the lot of you!
posted by twistedonion at 9:11 AM on September 6, 2005


Those of us who have hated Coldplay from day one would like to extend Jon Pareles a nice middle finger for fucking it all up for us...
posted by hototogisu at 9:11 AM on September 6, 2005


item, I agree. My real ire against this thread comes from my dislike for its soporific pablum. When people are moved by this thread, they're being moved by the most banal and pedestrian thread that is available. They're reconfirming their worldview instead of challenging it. It is a thread without struggle, and without prize.
posted by Elpoca at 9:17 AM on September 6, 2005


"em, where's the struggle in pop music?"
Marvin Gaye- What's Going On
The Beatles- Come Together
Stevie Wonder- Livin' for the City
Fuck, even Madonna's got more tension in her than Coldplay.

"Did I say the songs were special? I don't particularly like Coldplay but their songs do sound different. Stop being grumpy old men, the lot of you!"
'And that tree is slightly taller than this one. And see, even though they're both pine, this one is a little more crooked. There are just all these trees here, but they're all different! It wouldn't be right to call it a forest.'
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on September 6, 2005


Elpoca: So, I'm the Radiohead to your Coldplay?
posted by klangklangston at 9:20 AM on September 6, 2005


I really only enoy Coldplay's earlier work.
posted by xmutex at 9:22 AM on September 6, 2005


Fuck, even Madonna's got more tension in her than Coldplay.

And there's plenty of good music with no tension in it all. Quit creating elaborate justifications for what you like. There is no accounting for taste. Period.
posted by jonmc at 9:23 AM on September 6, 2005


'And that tree is slightly taller than this one. And see, even though they're both pine, this one is a little more crooked. There are just all these trees here, but they're all different! It wouldn't be right to call it a forest.'

"And this song rocks out at the end, the next one is a ballad. There are just all these songs here, But they're all different! It wouldn't be right to call it an album"

That was a terrible comparison Klang. You win on the struggle though. Hadn't thought that one through at all.

Saying an artists music all sounds the same is just lazy though. You sound like my da
posted by twistedonion at 9:25 AM on September 6, 2005


all our da's sound the same.
posted by jonmc at 9:26 AM on September 6, 2005


Threads like this are pointless but entertaining, so what the hell, I'll join the pile on.

I like Radiohead (I actually love them far too much, but there it is.) When I can be bothered, I dislike Coldplay.

Radiohead has ideas. Coldplay has moods. Those moods are heavily imitative of aspects of The Bends, and sometimes I think Coldplay have made their whole career on parsing and diluting Fake Plastic Trees and then spinning the result into entire albums.

I lurrve Elbow as well. The new album rocks.

I don't suppose the original link is mirrored anywhere?
posted by jokeefe at 9:26 AM on September 6, 2005


Anyone got a mirror site for this vid?

Also, is it just me, or does the snare pattern used on every Coldplay song not only mirror the classic U2 pattern, but many klezmer tunes as well? It also syncs perfectly with Ethyl Merman singing "no...business like show...business like no...business I know..."
posted by ericbop at 9:27 AM on September 6, 2005


"And there's plenty of good music with no tension in it all. Quit creating elaborate justifications for what you like. There is no accounting for taste. Period."
Ah, Jon. The eternal "It's all subjective anyway, so leave my Yanni collection out of this!" argument.
posted by klangklangston at 9:29 AM on September 6, 2005


Elaborate justifications of taste? So people are allowed to profess to like anything they want, but not allowed to express dislike for other things?
posted by hototogisu at 9:30 AM on September 6, 2005


This Coldplay, is it something I would have to have ears to experience?
posted by darukaru at 9:30 AM on September 6, 2005


You get the same effect putting your head to the floor, really...
posted by hototogisu at 9:31 AM on September 6, 2005


all our da's sound the same.

lol! don't start me.

Your da may sound a bit like my da, but when they fall over in an empty pub, does anyone hear them fall?

This has been my favourite thread of the day. Thanks for all the nonsense!
posted by twistedonion at 9:33 AM on September 6, 2005


I can listen to Coldplay as background music, but with Radiohead, I put on my headphones and just lie back to enjoy the sound.

Also, coldplay lyrics can be really (really) bad at times.
posted by flippant at 9:38 AM on September 6, 2005


There is no accounting for taste. Period.

Sure there is. It's pretty easy actually. Just ask yourself, "How many people like this band?"

If the answer is < 10, it's cool enough to admit liking it on Metafilter.
posted by shawnj at 9:39 AM on September 6, 2005


Bandwidth Limit Exceeded. Not that I really want to have anything to do with this site, or video, or whatever it is, after seeing 123 comments that are exactly the same as all the other comments in all the other threads that mention Coldplay. I think it's safe to say that every pro-Coldplay and anti-Coldplay opinion here has already been voiced six times before, and nobody is going to convince anyone else that they're wrong, or manage to make anyone else respect them more. Is there a point to saying all of it again and trying to tell people that they're morons because of their musical tastes?

I'd tell you all to grow up, but this is the Internet, so I guess it would be a moot point.
posted by Saellys at 9:49 AM on September 6, 2005


johnmc, you're dumb.
posted by ackeber at 9:51 AM on September 6, 2005


and robert smith isn't that great.
posted by ackeber at 9:52 AM on September 6, 2005


radiohead > metafilter
posted by ackeber at 9:52 AM on September 6, 2005


Fuck, even Madonna's got more tension in her than Coldplay.

Yeah, she's been Kegeling.
posted by fleetmouse at 9:54 AM on September 6, 2005




Is there a point to saying all of it again and trying to tell people that they're morons because of their musical tastes?

None whatsoever.
posted by shawnj at 10:01 AM on September 6, 2005


I like jonmc's early albums the best.
posted by matildaben at 10:02 AM on September 6, 2005


Unless all of the songs sound the same.

Which, of course, they obviously don't! Unless you are tone deaf of course.


Yeah, ok. Let me make this clearer for you. Saying that all of their songs sound the same is not saying that all of their songs are the same. Clearly there are differences from one song to the next. However, some bands are known for being able to make music with a large palette of musical textures, styles, themes, etc. The Beatles are a great example. Other bands are known for being largely consistent in these areas. Coldplay is one such band.

where is it written that all good music has to be challenging and hard edged? Sometimes it's just nice to have something dumb and fun to leap around to.


jon, you seem unable or unwilling to separate enjoyment from quality. Yes, sometimes it is nice to have something dumb and fun to leap around to, but just because a piece of music suits your mood at a given moment doesn't mean that it's good music. I don't want to get into a labored discussion about objectivity, but I don't think one is necessary to grasp the distinction here. I can enjoy plenty of music, and yes, even some Coldplay songs, without thinking that it's particularly brilliant, original, or lasting.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:08 AM on September 6, 2005


I like jonmc's early albums the best.

Back during my folkie period, when I briefly converted to Krishna, yes.

johnmc, you're dumb.

not as dumb as someone who can't spell "jonmc."

Ah, Jon. The eternal "It's all subjective anyway, so leave my Yanni collection out of this!" argument.

You've gone beyond saying "I don't like it, and here's why," to making the equation that Coldplay fan=stupid/boring/evil person. I used to think that way. I was a prick.
posted by jonmc at 10:10 AM on September 6, 2005


I think jonmc did some of his best work when he changed his name to ♂.
posted by sciurus at 10:13 AM on September 6, 2005


oh, and ludwig van. Even in the realm of "dumb and fun," there are qualitative distictions: Van Halen is better than say, Winger. So Van Halen makes high-quality aka GOOD dumb and fun music. See what I'm trying to say.
posted by jonmc at 10:13 AM on September 6, 2005


sometimes I think Coldplay have made their whole career on parsing and diluting Fake Plastic Trees

And here I was thinking they'd managed to turn a handful of variations on "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" into a whole career.

Me, I'm in the adore-Radiohead, mostly-indifferent-to-Coldplay category, and as such I don't know one song from the other and think of it all as fairly well-assembled pop-rock Muzak. So enlighten me: Is "Clocks" that one with the little Bronski Beat piano riff?

Also, jonmc, I'm very disappointed in you. "Creep" is one of the band's weakest tunes ("High and Dry" was their pop-rock high-water mark) and is distinguished mainly by that guitar hiccup leading into the chorus, which I read once was Jonny Greenwood trying to sabotage the horrific mess of a song he'd found himself in.
posted by gompa at 10:13 AM on September 6, 2005


("High and Dry" was their pop-rock high-water mark)

Oh yeah. "High And Dry," was a great tune..

I got my whiskey
I got my wine
I got my woman
and this time the lights are goin' out....

;>
posted by jonmc at 10:15 AM on September 6, 2005


Oh - look what you've done to this rock 'n' roll clown
Oh-oh, look what you've done
posted by gompa at 10:17 AM on September 6, 2005


Even in the realm of "dumb and fun," there are qualitative distictions: Van Halen is better than say, Winger. So Van Halen makes high-quality aka GOOD dumb and fun music. See what I'm trying to say.

Sure, that makes sense. Van Halen was catering to a mass-market arena-rock audience, so they wrote big dumb songs about sex and partying, but they managed to inject some virtuosic musicianship and classical influences. Of course, they still wrote big dumb songs about sex and partying.

I'm just saying that music can be fun without being worthwhile in an artistic sense, and if people acknowledged that a little more they might stop taking comments on the music so personally. Of course, it helps when the comments are substantive and not just snark.

Ditto gompa's comments on Creep. Go listen to OK Computer 6 or 8 times, jon.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:20 AM on September 6, 2005


It has been my experience that Coldplay is music designed for ladies to enjoy.
posted by 23skidoo at 10:21 AM on September 6, 2005


I'd never heard of Coldplay before and had to look them up. Like, whatever.

The song I'm most likely to play over and over is Bobby Timmon's "Moanin'", originally recorded by Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers when he was with that band and since covered by several combos; I like to "stack" the original with several covers and slowly sip bourbon.

And one thing I like about classic jazz is the immense number of tunes recorded without vocals; lyrics of all genres often tend to be distractingly dumb and annoyingly delivered. Should I try listening to Van Halen through a voice-deleting plugin?
posted by davy at 10:28 AM on September 6, 2005


ludwig van, I've heard some stuff of that album, and it just dosen't grab me. That's where the "no accounting for taste," part comes in. I can't make myself appreciate it out of some sense of artistic obligation.

Now to contradict that last statement, I shall elaborate on the Van Halen analogy. I don't think VH was so much catering to that mass-market audience (and it's not like Radiohead and Coldplay are niche bands playing tiny clubs, they just have a different mass audience), as they were products of it themselves, 4 california kids who liked booze and pussy. And being horny, or wanting to get drunk and cut loose are as legitamite (and often interesting and entertaining) longings to express as suicidal depression or loneliness. And VH expressed them very well. I think they created an 80's California fantasy similar to the early Beach Boys records. YMMV. *

I'm just saying that music can be fun without being worthwhile in an artistic sense, and if people acknowledged that a little more they might stop taking comments on the music so personally.

Very difficult thing to do. If you tell someone that something that moves them is shallow or stupid**, then it's sort of like you're calling them shallow and stupid.

Of course, it helps when the comments are substantive and not just snark.

I'm trying to be substantive, my friend.

*don't take my defense of big and dumb rock for a "Lowbrow Uber Alles" worldview. i just happen to think that a lot of the socalled big and dumb stuff has legitamite artistic merit. But i'm sure our collections have a lot of overlap in other areas.

**not accusing you of that, just explicating a point.
posted by jonmc at 10:32 AM on September 6, 2005


All their songs sound the same.

I always thought of that as the battle cry of old people everywhere
.

It can be. It can also be the battle cry of people who have sufficient musical discernment to make that observation honestly, when it is appropriate. Coldplay's songs don't sound exactly the same, of course. But they don't even begin to display the variety of oh, say, Radiohead. The journey from "Yellow" to "Speed of Sound" isn't quite as long and interesting as that from "Anyone Can Play Guitar" and "Thinking About You" to "Treefingers", "Pyramind Song" or "The Gloaming", now is it? And I'm sorry, those who say that Radiohead haven't done anything worthwhile since "Creep" either haven't actually listened to anything they've done since Creep or else they're cloth-eared dimwits. Jokeefe has it:

Coldplay have made their whole career on parsing and diluting Fake Plastic Trees and then spinning the result into entire albums.

Bullseye.
posted by Decani at 10:37 AM on September 6, 2005


DISCO SUCKS!
posted by Evstar at 10:48 AM on September 6, 2005


lyrics of all genres often tend to be distractingly dumb and annoyingly delivered. Should I try listening to Van Halen through a voice-deleting plugin?

You could try to find music with good lyrics. Of course, people will have varying definitions of good lyrics, but I think people like The Decemberists, Sufjan Stevens, The Lucksmiths, Neutral Milk Hotel, the Magnetic Fields, The Shins, Elliott Smith, The Mountain Goats, Belle and Sebastian, and John Vanderslice, to name a few modern examples, all have some remarkable lyrics, each in their own way.

jon:

I can't make myself appreciate it out of some sense of artistic obligation.

Is that such a strange idea? I would say that I can. I don't listen to much jazz for enjoyment, but I can certainly appreciate the compositional ingenuity and musicianship that goes into a good jazz tune.

And being horny, or wanting to get drunk and cut loose are as legitamite (and often interesting and entertaining) longings to express as suicidal depression or loneliness.

I think any longing is as legitimate as any other for artistic expression; of course, it's all in how you express it. Van Halen's lyrics don't strike me as going very far beyond the surface of anything, though. But I'll admit to not being overly familiar with their entire oeuvre.

If you tell someone that something that moves them is shallow or stupid, then it's sort of like you're calling them shallow and stupid.

Well, it's all about how you put it. I'd be inclined to think that someone who finds Coldplay deep and meaningful hasn't really been exposed to much deep and meaningful music, and so I might recommend some other bands for them to check out.

I'm trying to be substantive, my friend.

Oh, that wasn't directed at you.

And I of course concur with Decani.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:48 AM on September 6, 2005


I think Coldplay is ok, but I saw them at one of those multi-band festivals and their live show is genuinely fantastic.

Radiohead is the best rock band in the world.

I remember them being described as "Radiohead Light" when they first apeared.


Actually, I think Muse is "Radiohead Light", but I like them, too.

Oh, and that band in the FPP was just terrible, they tried to mock Coldplay but sound nothing like them.
posted by zardoz at 10:52 AM on September 6, 2005


Fleetmouse: I'm not going to waste precious seconds of my life shitting on this Hallmark condolence card of a band. Let us instead list some artists who do not suck.
Every critic mentions that Baltimore's Lungfish has been playing one song for seventeen years now, and that that is a good thing.
posted by zoinks at 10:52 AM on September 6, 2005


All of Van Halen's songs sound the same. Even with different singers.
posted by afx114 at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Right after Men at Work

Woah, woah, woah. Woah. Just hold on a second.

Men at Work were awesome. True, they only really had three hits, but there's more personality in Colin Hay's voice for Overkill than just about any current "pop" song. And their lyrics were awesome.

Ghosts appear and fade away... Come back another da-ay-ay-ayoh.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2005


All classical music sounds the same.
posted by afx114 at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2005


All rap sounds the same.
posted by afx114 at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2005


All jazz sounds the same.
posted by afx114 at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2005


Van Halen's lyrics don't strike me as going very far beyond the surface of anything, though.

Well, hard rock/heavy metal has never been the most lyrically oriented genre (although Diamond Dave had way more wit than most of his contemporaries, which was the difference between them and their legions of bad imitators). It's more how the lyrics that seem dopey on the printed page become more when combined with instrumentation that captures the emotion behind them.

Case in point as far as the VH/California fantasy theory: this song was a perfect distillation of what this east coast kid thought SoCal was. Read Fargo Rock City for further elucidation. Or I'll make you a Metal/Butt-rock primer disc someday.

I realize I'm babbling, but I'm a music geek just like you and we love this shit.
posted by jonmc at 10:57 AM on September 6, 2005


And like I said before, I can appreciate downbeat or depressive stuff, too. I love Pink Floyd, Metallica, Black Sabbath, the Velvet Underground and countless others who will never make the Up With People playlist. But I prefer them to Coldplay and Radiohead because the musical accompaniment is more my taste, which is still to a large degree subjective.
posted by jonmc at 11:00 AM on September 6, 2005


Case in point as far as the VH/California fantasy theory: this song was a perfect distillation of what this east coast kid thought SoCal was.

I just listened to the song and looked up the lyrics, and I agree that they're pretty good. He uses meter and internal rhyme quite nicely, not too dissimilar from this Lucksmiths tune, the lyrics of which I really love.

I realize I'm babbling, but I'm a music geek just like you and we love this shit.

Yeah, it's cool.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:04 AM on September 6, 2005


Those lyrics were pretty clever. What do they sound like?
posted by jonmc at 11:08 AM on September 6, 2005


I can appreciate downbeat or depressive stuff, too.

Most of the music I listen to, and most of the bands I mentioned as lyrically adept above, aren't downbeat and depressive at all. Which reminds me, I meant to toss in some admonishment earlier for the use of the word "emo," which is wholly inaccurate in every context it was used in this thread. Emo started off as an offshoot of hardcore music in DC in the 80s. It was short for "emotive hardcore." If it can be used accurately at all these days, it certainly isn't to describe bands like Coldplay or anything I mentioned.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:10 AM on September 6, 2005


Those lyrics were pretty clever. What do they sound like?

They're quite a clever bunch of Australians. They're rather jangly, melodic pop. Their latest album, Warmer Corners, on which the linked song appeared, was a very lush, orchestrated affair, which I always enjoy. There are a bunch of mp3s here, check them out.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:12 AM on September 6, 2005


Will do. Thanks.

Order a copy of Fargo Rock City. Some people loathe the author, and even I'm infuriated with him on occasion (although I've met him and he was very cool and gracious.) But he's always entertaing and sometimes blindingly insightful. Plus it was a book that needed to be written.
posted by jonmc at 11:18 AM on September 6, 2005



Oh, and that band in the FPP was just terrible, they tried to mock Coldplay but sound nothing like them.


zardoz: it's not a band, yeah ok technically it is, but it's a comedian who has a show on BBC radio where he plays comedy songs.

So yeah, it is supposed to be terrible! and seems to me it's intentional that it really doesn't sound exactly like Coldplay but more like a generic template for what unites all the bands he mentions. Plus I don't think he'd have gotten away with an exact parody cover, not without having to pay royalties at least.
posted by funambulist at 11:20 AM on September 6, 2005


^his passage about Van Halen's "Panama," video is especially perceptive.
posted by jonmc at 11:20 AM on September 6, 2005


Order a copy of Fargo Rock City.

Cool, I'll check it out.

seems to me it's intentional that it really doesn't sound exactly like Coldplay but more like a generic template for what unites all the bands he mentions.

Well, obviously the singer didn't sound like Chris Martin, but in terms of structure, arrangement, and style, it seemed pretty accurate to me. Were Coldplay to perform that song, I don't think it would sound too out of place in their catalogue.
posted by ludwig_van at 11:23 AM on September 6, 2005


Actually, I think Muse is "Radiohead Light", but I like them, too.

As much as I hate comparing the two (I love them both, almost equally, and am easily annoyed when people equate them with each other so flippantly), Muse is more like Radiohead Hardcore. With more Jeff Buckley vocals and better piano bits. Supposedly they're tighter live, too, but having seen only televised Radiohead concerts I can't really chime in on that one. They do put on a hell of a show.
posted by Saellys at 11:31 AM on September 6, 2005


Jon: "You've gone beyond saying "I don't like it, and here's why," to making the equation that Coldplay fan=stupid/boring/evil person. I used to think that way. I was a prick."
No. The equation goes "Coldplay fan= someone who likes boring, derivative Britmush." As I mentioned upthread, I even have friends who like Coldplay. And to them I point out, with an insufferable smirk, that their subjective tastes are wrong and that they should feel the same shame over listening to Coldplay that they do for chewing gum left on the bedpost overnight.
But I'm such a snob that all I've listened to for the last week is this.
posted by klangklangston at 11:36 AM on September 6, 2005


Bit late to the party, but the reason Coldplay are so terrible? Bar maybe one or two songs – Politik and Clocks, the only two songs of theirs which have anything resembling the physical impact that they need (I'm not counting Talk, from the new album, because when it comes down to it, that's a Kraftwerk song) – they're so polished and bland that anything resembling life was long ago bled out of them, leaving their muscles atrophied. Music needs something to grip you, to rub you up the right or wrong way, but Coldplay are an ice rink: totally frictionless.

Which wouldn't necessarily be a problem if Chris Martin was capable writing lyrics more sophisticated than rhyming face with place, or succeed with need, but plainly he isn't. He's all about the vague and the non-specific, again not necessarily a problem, unless you're also being shamlessly trite and quasi-meaningful.

[from Speed of Sound]
"Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?"

What does it mean? Precisely. Fuck. All. And that's entirely the point: they're lyrics designed to invoke some vague sense of sadness and struggle, without making anyone feel too bad. It's like watching, say, Animal Hospital: you can feel all smug and warm that you feel compassion for these poor animals without having to experience anything too icky first hand. This is the musical equivalent: ersatz unhappiness and uncertainty, in nice little bite sized chunks – music which anaesthetises the listener from the real world.

Oh, and as for the topic at hand: other than for a few bars, Mitch Benn sounds nothing like Chris Martin. But he's nailed, with the precision of a master, the structure of their songs and those of everyone else who has followed in their wake.
posted by Len at 11:36 AM on September 6, 2005


The Brother Bones mp3 is good, klang, but the "Bill Bones" track recorded by Tony Schwartz from the same site is even better.

Who's the insufferable snob, now!?!??
posted by jonmc at 11:41 AM on September 6, 2005


god this thread is a welcome relief

for the record i like that one song where he's like "it was all yellow". i can never figure out what was yellow, but i like it
posted by poppo at 11:50 AM on September 6, 2005


Man, Jon, you just like the cheezy child vocals. Try this for some sophistication while you stroll.
posted by klangklangston at 11:51 AM on September 6, 2005


Eh....all "rock" music sounds like Coldplay to me. So everyone in this thread like, sucks.
posted by solipse at 11:57 AM on September 6, 2005


All classical music sounds the same.

Mmm, yes. Boulez sounds exactly the same as Bach, for sure. BZZZT!

All jazz sounds the same.

Mmm, yes. Ayler sounds exactly the same as Armstrong, for sure.

All rap sounds the same.

Mmm, yes. Snoop sounds exactly the same as Spearhead, for sure.
posted by Decani at 12:00 PM on September 6, 2005


"I don't listen to much jazz for enjoyment"

Why else would anybody listen to much of anything? I'll listen to just about anything once, preferably for free, to further my self-education, but I won't keep listening to something I don't enjoy.
posted by davy at 12:01 PM on September 6, 2005


Why else would anybody listen to much of anything? I'll listen to just about anything once, preferably for free, to further my self-education, but I won't keep listening to something I don't enjoy.

I study music, so I listen to lots of things in that capacity. I'll go see a jazz group perform if I have the opportunity, or I'll listen to jazz recordings if I'm in someone else's room/car and they put it on, but I don't purchase jazz records or listen to much of it on my own time. Still, I can appreciate jazz and the musicians who write/perform it, and I've written some jazz pieces myself.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:05 PM on September 6, 2005


This is so incredibly...lame. But I can't stop myself from commenting.
People who just hate, hate, hate Coldplay aren't adventurous or daring enough to hate something worth hating. And why hate music, anyway? Just don't fucking listen to it. There's so much great music out there...if you waste any time hating something as benign as Coldplay, there's something wrong with you. If you do have to hate something, save it for something truly harmful, like Creed.
I liked Coldplay's first album, liked the second one less, and couldn't even make it through the third one.
Radiohead is the best quasi-mainstream rock band out there right now. Anyone who calls Kid A an electronic album doesn't know what electronic music is.
And Davy, hey--I'm a fellow jazz head but it sounds like my tastes are a little more adventurous than yours. But did you post here just to point out you've never heard of what is now touted as "the biggest band in the world"? And that you listen to jazz?
In conclusion, all of you, all of your favorite bands suck.
posted by ghastlyfop at 12:08 PM on September 6, 2005


Metafilter music critics: like Pitchfork music critics, only talentless.
posted by C.Batt at 12:14 PM on September 6, 2005


poppo - heh, the one line that had me most puzzled was "I jumped across for you oh what a thing to do cos you were all yellow". Jaundice? Hepatitis? Bad tan?

Seriously, what kind of man tells a woman she looks yellow as a compliment?
posted by funambulist at 12:21 PM on September 6, 2005


if you waste any time hating something as benign as Coldplay, there's something wrong with you. If you do have to hate something, save it for something truly harmful, like Creed.

Killjoy. ;)

Radiohead is the best quasi-mainstream rock band out there right now.

Yes.

Anyone who calls Kid A an electronic album doesn't know what electronic music is.

Radiohead would agree with you.

And as was said earlier, what a happy relief a good "your favourite band sucks" thread is after the horrors of this last week.
posted by jokeefe at 12:38 PM on September 6, 2005


ghastlyfop: a minor quibble with your otherwise totally secondable comment - it is physically impossible to avoid listening to Coldplay altogether, at least, if you live in Europe (I honestly don't know how they do in the charts in the US or elsewhere) and like pop and like to listen to the radio even just once in a while. You just can't find a station where you can get through a single hour without the latest Coldplay single. And this has been going on for the past, oh, five years. Like then or not, but complete indifference is made a little harder.


It's a bit like when Kylie Minogue has a hit out, you hear it everywhere, but the difference is no matter how annoying it gets (na na na nanananana na na na nanananana) no one really hates Kylie. For obvious reasons. Hating Kylie would really make you a bad, bad person.
posted by funambulist at 12:41 PM on September 6, 2005


If you do have to hate something, save it for something truly harmful, like Creed
'kin A. Or Daphne and Celeste.

But I count Kid A as electronica, and I love electronica (perhaps to the detriment of other genres), and that album had me running round to people's houses and demanding that they listen too.

(currently listening to Kid606 and Prefuse 73)
posted by NinjaPirate at 12:42 PM on September 6, 2005


On the other hand Creed are not even on the radar here. It is impossible to even care because no one has a clue who they are.
posted by funambulist at 12:54 PM on September 6, 2005


Punks in the beerlight.

I love you to the max.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:55 PM on September 6, 2005


On the other hand Creed are not even on the radar here.

Well, they broke up some time ago. Let's hate something truly harmful, like Nickelback.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:57 PM on September 6, 2005


Can we at leats all agree that the Dave Mathews Band sucks?
posted by Artw at 12:59 PM on September 6, 2005


C.Batt wins.
posted by blendor at 1:06 PM on September 6, 2005


all music sounds the same. damn those twelve notes.
posted by NationalKato at 1:14 PM on September 6, 2005


all music sounds the same. damn those twelve notes.

True enough. That's why I appreciate good lyrics. There's more to work with.
posted by ludwig_van at 1:17 PM on September 6, 2005


Let's all agree that Rodeohead is the best.
posted by funambulist at 1:25 PM on September 6, 2005


Who likes Journey? I like Journey. Journey is like Radiohead with mullets.
posted by LeeJay at 1:31 PM on September 6, 2005


I think my favorite part of this thread is where the people tell other people that music they listen to doesn't invoke any emotional response. Or maybe it's the blinkered philistine pig-ignorance of the folks who don't seem to grasp the concept that you can have a range of musical tastes which just might include Coldplay AND Radiohead, among other things.

Tough call. But it's one of the two.

But carry on arguing over who's got the cooler band logos drawn on their Pee-Chee folders.
posted by papercake at 1:39 PM on September 6, 2005


Gee, thanks blendor. I've never "won" on the Internets before.

Hey! Wait a minute! Doesn't that mean I'm still retarded?

;-)
posted by C.Batt at 1:49 PM on September 6, 2005


"you can have a range of musical tastes which just might include Coldplay AND Radiohead"

Ooooh. Coldplay AND Radiohead? Next someone will say that they like Styx AND Pink Floyd!
posted by klangklangston at 2:17 PM on September 6, 2005


" all music sounds the same. damn those twelve notes."
Somebody let NationalKato out of Shoenberg's attic, he's locked himself in again...
posted by klangklangston at 2:20 PM on September 6, 2005


C.Batt wins.

Nope. Just by being in this thread we are all losers. There is no escape.
posted by srboisvert at 2:23 PM on September 6, 2005


klang: yeah yeah yeah, ignore the point completely
posted by papercake at 2:49 PM on September 6, 2005


arrrgh. Got there too late. Bandwidth exceeded.
posted by Edible Energy at 3:05 PM on September 6, 2005


Lol bandwidth exceeded :)))
posted by zouhair at 3:20 PM on September 6, 2005


WGAF? Didn't RTFA.
posted by Joeforking at 3:42 PM on September 6, 2005


I think the Rick Rubin-produced Wilco album, Disconnect, of Radiohead covers, is the best album EVAR!
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:46 PM on September 6, 2005


Music is so last century. Can't we have it out between the dumb, pretty fun of World of Warcraft and classical tedium of EQ2? At least that way nobody would infect me with twin earworms of the destructive calibre of 'The musical bits from Not the Nine O'Clock News' and 'Daphne & Celeste'.

I Like Bouncing 'cause You Ugly.
posted by Sparx at 3:47 PM on September 6, 2005


all music sounds the same. damn those twelve notes.

BZZZT. Wrong answer. Look up stuff on microtonality and learn about the history of our dodecaphonic tuning system. 'Twasn't always that way, and in some cultures, it still isn't.
posted by speicus at 3:50 PM on September 6, 2005


Few things are more sophomoric than professing to hate a particular form of music.
posted by signal at 4:15 PM on September 6, 2005


Thread summary:

I like Radiohead.
I don't like Coldplay.

Replace Coldplay and Radiohead with bands of choice.

Repeat ad nauseam.
posted by dazed_one at 5:08 PM on September 6, 2005


The attempts at witty meta-commentary about how stupid it is to argue about this stuff is more annoying than the actual arguing. Give it a rest.
posted by ludwig_van at 5:45 PM on September 6, 2005


are more annoying.
posted by ludwig_van at 5:46 PM on September 6, 2005



I think the Rick Rubin-produced Wilco album, Disconnect, of Radiohead covers, is the best album EVAR!


Damn you, EB! You actually got my hopes up for a second there.
posted by sourwookie at 6:08 PM on September 6, 2005


Metafilter: fitter...happier...less productive
posted by freshgroundpepper at 6:41 PM on September 6, 2005


NeonSurge; this was a role previously occupied by pre-Disney era Phil Collins and Queen before him. IMO.

Sorry, i know i'm a bit late to this thread, but i gotta call NeonSurge out on this one. In it's day, Queen was a Rock Band. Admittedly towards the end they slowed down a lot, but the the theme of this thread is bands that sound like everyone else and songs like Rock It (Prime Jive) and Stone Cold Crazy will never be mistaken for anything other than a Queen song.

Not to rant but no one suggests Coldplay is the new Queen around me and doesn't get an earful.
posted by quin at 6:44 PM on September 6, 2005


Yeah, Queen was great.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:46 PM on September 6, 2005


Late as well, and I agree completely how bland and boring Coldplay is, and yes it matters, because as band that somehow has a lot of buzz, they will have an unfortunate influence on other bands as well. The thing about Coldplay is that they are just so lukewarm. However, I do have to admit to not only liking their song Clocks, both musically and lyrically, but to liking it a lot and thinking that is actually really good.

Too bad the video is gone.
posted by blue shadows at 6:56 PM on September 6, 2005


Papercakes: I got your point. It was stupid.
posted by klangklangston at 7:11 PM on September 6, 2005


Quin: Ok. I'll cop to a hole in my musical knowledge. For me, aside from Fat Bottom Girls, Bohemian Rhapsody and We Will Rock You/Are the Champions, the only Queen I can think of is Highlander and It's a Kind of Magic.
I got a Queen's greatest hits album (the blue one) on cassette the same birthday that I got the Ramones' greatest hits, and my tape deck ate the Queen one.
I took it as a sign.
So, the rest of my exposure to Queen all comes from the radio while working in the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant. What's the non-kitchen Queen that I should look to buy/download? I have to say that I find It's a Kind of Magic and the Highlander stuff hilariously bad. What's the good Queen?
posted by klangklangston at 7:16 PM on September 6, 2005


While i get such a nostalgic kick out of the Highlander soundtrack i vastly prefer the stuff with a bit more of an edge. To that end, i would suggest:

Get Down Make Love (Nine Inch Nails did a great cover of this as well)
Bicycle Race (not really edgy, just fun)
Dragon Attack
Under Pressure (a little slower, but it's got David Bowie)
Keep Yourself Alive
I want it all
Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Just fun)
and the two i mentioned earler
Stone Cold Crazy (Metallica did a not-bad cover of this)
and Rock It.

And probably a ton i'm forgetting, didn't they do like 20 albums?
posted by quin at 8:18 PM on September 6, 2005


Heh. I have both the Metallica cover and the NIN cover floating around here somewhere... I taped 'em off the overnight radio when that was still the thing to do. Any album recommendations?
posted by klangklangston at 8:46 PM on September 6, 2005


i liked The Game, News of the World, Jazz and a Night at the Opera is pretty good. I just have them all dumped in one folder on my hard drive so i don't really think in terms of Albums anymore ;)
posted by quin at 8:56 PM on September 6, 2005


you'd think that with the song title they'd try to make the song sound like Coldplay. since they didn't it doesn't really work, does it?
posted by tu11ym0n at 8:59 PM on September 6, 2005


Clearly, arguments that Coldplay does not inspire emotion must be somewhat mollified by this post getting over 200 replies... I mean... clearly!
posted by Elpoca at 9:09 PM on September 6, 2005


Jim Morrison is a drunken buffoon posing as a poet. Give me the Guess Who. They have the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.
posted by bwg at 9:13 PM on September 6, 2005


Woah, woah, woah. Woah. Just hold on a second.

Men at Work were awesome. True, they only really had three hits, but there's more personality in Colin Hay's voice for Overkill than just about any current "pop" song. And their lyrics were awesome.


DUDE. I was serious. And not just the hits. Helpless Automaton, I Can See It In Your Eyes, Down By The Sea -- awesome (and sure, Overkill, It's A Mistake, Down Under, Be Good Johnny, Who Can It Be Now).

Now this thread is not ending until everyone admits that Men at Work is the greatest band in the world.

I'm waiting. I'm waaaiting.
posted by dreamsign at 9:46 PM on September 6, 2005


The Guess Who wrote some excellent songs.
posted by jokeefe at 9:48 PM on September 6, 2005


Now this thread is not ending until everyone admits that Men at Work is the greatest band in the world.

Hear, hear! Whatever happened to the rockin' sax solo, anyway? Was it Rob Lowe's character in St. Elmo's Fire that killed it? Or was it Clarence Clemons' shameless grandstanding?

But seriously: This thread's truly not ending until someone tells me whether or not "Clocks" is that one with the Bronski Beat piano riff.

I'm waiting.

And I'm not polluting my LimeWire queue with a bunch of Coldplay singles to figure out for myself.

That's just how I, you know, roll. Or something.

posted by gompa at 10:32 PM on September 6, 2005


I tend to think of I'm in Love with My Car as a fine, and quintessential, Queen track.

NiN's cover of Get Down, Make Love is one of the best things he's done, in my opinion. But my liking for NiN is a little strange because Fixed is easily my favorite album. And they're all remixes, of course.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:17 AM on September 7, 2005


The video is back:

Dear MetaFilter user,

We're very sorry but, in order to help preserve our bandwidth, we've had to switch off direct links to our video page from the MetaFilter website. You can still view the video by visiting the Maxim UK website.

Thank you for visiting,
Webmaster
everythingsoundslikecoldplaynow.com

posted by funambulist at 12:20 AM on September 7, 2005


if youre looking for a Radiohead with talent try Can
posted by Satapher at 1:19 AM on September 7, 2005


It doesn't really make sense to call Radiohead "Coldplay with talent" because Radiohead preceded them.

That reminds me of Chris Rock introducing Johnny Depp at the MTV awards a few years back:

Chris Rock: "And now here he is, the rich man's Skeet Ulrich...Johnny Depp."
posted by Devils Slide at 2:05 AM on September 7, 2005


Papercakes: I got your point. It was stupid.

Fantastic refutation of my point there. I see, now, where I was wrong. You're truly a genius of argument as well as the Arbiter of Taste for All Things Musical.
posted by papercake at 5:28 AM on September 7, 2005


Man, I love these threads. Can is an incredible band, Satapher. I'm a big fan. But give me a break.
posted by ghastlyfop at 5:48 AM on September 7, 2005


Satapher: Radiohead with talent? And you recommend Can? Dude, I love Can as much as the next Kraut, but they're different dogs. Why not say Radioactivity-era Kraftwerk?

EB: Oddly enough, our taste in NIN pretty much perfectly coincides. Even when I was buying a lot of industrial, I never really got into NIN. My shame lies on the KMFDM and Stabbing Westward fronts...
posted by klangklangston at 7:16 AM on September 7, 2005


Paper: Which one of your points did you want refuted? The straw-man about emotional response, or the one about how people arguing about music are just trying to seem cool? Because the other point, that "people can like Coldplay AND Radiohead," while also dumb, I already addressed.
Oh neither, really? You just wanted people to stop making fun of the shitty band that you have a positive emotional response to? Because it hurts your feelings that "Yellow" isn't held as the unassailable work of genius that you believe it is?
It's OK to like shitty music, Papercakes. Embrace it. Yell it from the rooftops: "I like shitty music! I like Coldplay! I embrace ennui and meaningless lyrics! I love the elevators and the musical delights that I hear between floors! I LIKE SHITTY MUSIC!"
You'll be better for it. And you'll be able to buy all those albums that keep the music industry in business!
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 AM on September 7, 2005


"Clocks" is that one with the Bronski Beat piano riff.

Thanks, LimeWire.

Thanks for nothin', Metafilter.
posted by gompa at 8:15 AM on September 7, 2005


sometimes I think Coldplay have made their whole career on parsing and diluting Fake Plastic Trees

And here I was thinking they'd managed to turn a handful of variations on "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" into a whole career.

Oh man, they wish.

Sorry that Mefi let you down with the Bronski Beat thing, gompa. Perhaps you can purge Clocks from your Audioscrobbler somehow?
posted by jokeefe at 9:10 AM on September 7, 2005


My real ire against Radiohead comes from my dislike for their soporific pablum. When people are moved by their music, they're being moved by the most banal and pedestrian music that is available. They're reconfirming their worldview instead of challenging it. It is music without struggle, and without prize.

Wow, that insipid prose of yours can be said for pretty much anything. It's almost like you're saying... nothing at all! Amazing!! It is text without meaning, and without sense! Not unlike all of the other insults you have attempted at anyone who's tastes aren't aligned with yours.
posted by Elpoca at 10:33 AM on September 7, 2005


Elpoca: Ah. So the reason you keep returning to that is that you need it explained to you. It was too complex for our little Coldplay fan, was it? Was it? Awww.
You can always start by looking up the confusing words in there, and then asking me about which specific ones you don't understand. I'll give you a hint: when I said "pedestrian," I didn't mean "walking."
posted by klangklangston at 12:37 PM on September 7, 2005


Yep, insipid, meaningless argument. Thanks for confirming it.
posted by Elpoca at 1:07 PM on September 7, 2005


I'm in a promising local band
posted by MetaJohn at 1:11 PM on September 7, 2005


Elpoca: For all your complaints of hollowness, you've yet to serve up anything yourself. But what should I expect from someone who defends Coldplay (and inarticulately at that)?
posted by klangklangston at 3:14 PM on September 7, 2005


And why hate music, anyway?

Because I love it.
posted by Decani at 11:48 AM on September 8, 2005


Coldplay's not too bad. At least compared to the 34758 pop "bands" that keep showing up and then disappearing. (And this coming from someone who likes cheesy pop)

jonmc: I love Pink Floyd, Metallica, Black Sabbath, the Velvet Underground and countless others who will never make the Up With People playlist.

Funny that you mention this - I'm in an UWP crew right now and there are definitely quite a number of people interested in that sort of music. If we got ourselves organized enough we might actually add a song of theirs to our Celebration...

[our current program is way different than the old ones. more emphasis on other stuff, the show's smaller, more abstract in a wayy]
posted by divabat at 6:25 PM on September 24, 2005


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