My Humps, My Humps, My Lovely Camel Humps

December 26, 2005 9:36 AM

I shall now have to kill myself. Worst. Flash. Christmas Card. Evah.
posted by five fresh fish (100 comments total)

The Black-Eyed Peas and all who mimic them shall have to be killed, then all those so unfortunate as to have ever heard their crappy little song, and then myself.

Only then shall this world be safe from this meme.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:38 AM on December 26, 2005

[gouging out my eyes and ears with fondue forks]

Jesus. Just.....awful....
posted by TeamBilly at 9:40 AM on December 26, 2005

I was wondering, and it is answered here. This "hump" thing is a real song. I love not knowing some things.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 9:40 AM on December 26, 2005

Mary's lady lumps.
posted by machaus at 9:43 AM on December 26, 2005

Wow. You ain't kidding. It's almost geniuus.
posted by fungible at 9:44 AM on December 26, 2005

geniuus = twice the genius
posted by fungible at 9:44 AM on December 26, 2005

..baubles we be haulin'...

(asking TeamBilly to borrow the fondue forks when he's done)
posted by j.p. Hung at 9:45 AM on December 26, 2005

MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!
posted by muppetboy at 9:47 AM on December 26, 2005

Oh, wow. I'm really glad that I had my sound turned off before I clicked.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:48 AM on December 26, 2005

That's weird, I just came to metafilter to find the "my Humps" post.
posted by drezdn at 9:48 AM on December 26, 2005

Surely these are the end times...
posted by gallois at 9:49 AM on December 26, 2005

Picture this: You're a young woman trying to make it as a singer. You're offered a job, singing for a "Christmas card." That's good, right? A step up. Something to add to the resume.

Then you find out: you'll be singing the part of a camel offering "her hump" to Jesus.

Sure, you take the job. You tell yourself, that's what a professional would do. But the scars... the scars will last a lifetime.
posted by SPrintF at 9:49 AM on December 26, 2005

I couldn't even get through the whole thing. Good god.
posted by interrobang at 9:49 AM on December 26, 2005

That's funniest thing I've heard in weeks.
posted by ryanhealy at 9:50 AM on December 26, 2005

Was there a line about keeping the baby high on mehr, or did I just hear that wrong?

That was indeed one of the worst things I have ever seen rendered in Flash.
posted by picea at 9:54 AM on December 26, 2005

I have yet to get a functional flash player working on my FreeBSD desktop.

Proving that, apparently, there is a god.
posted by eriko at 9:56 AM on December 26, 2005

Dear malevolent, truly evil space aliens,

I know I've written to you before on the same topic, but now would be a really good time for you to come wipe us off the face of our planet. I don't really care how you do it. You can use death rays, giant mass-driven asteroids, flesh eating nanobots, killer robots or deadly space plagues. I don't care. Just make it soon, before we commit more atrocities like the one linked to in this post. We're obviously a filthy plague and have squandered any resemblance of our birthright.

Thank you.
posted by loquacious at 9:58 AM on December 26, 2005

Christ is rolling over in his grave.
posted by Nelson at 9:58 AM on December 26, 2005

I cannot figure out how this thing came to exist. The number of people who must have been involved -- the singers and musicians who had to record the song, the artist who had to draw the subimages and animate them, did none of these people realize what an excruciatingly bad idea it was? Or is this thing so awful that, like the lord Cthulhu, it created itself whole from the bowels of Hell?
posted by localroger at 9:59 AM on December 26, 2005

Sacrilicious.
posted by maxsparber at 9:59 AM on December 26, 2005

Dear God,

Sodom and Gomorrah could get wiped off the map for some pansy sexual stuff, but noooooo, not us. You had to let this be created, and we're all still around. Or are you just gearing up to wipe us off the planet? Are loquacious' aliens on the way?

No love,

Me
posted by kalimac at 10:03 AM on December 26, 2005

I just...I mean...what?
posted by darkstar at 10:04 AM on December 26, 2005

I heard "trickin" instead of "trekkin" at first. Puts a whole different and hilarious spin on things.
posted by ryanhealy at 10:06 AM on December 26, 2005

So many questions, so few answers. Personally I couldn't get past "Why are those camels wearing lipstick?"
posted by Spatch at 10:09 AM on December 26, 2005

Glad to see the War on Christmas hasn't made it into Hallmark Flash greeting cards. Imagine the stark, wretched world in which animated singing holiday hip-hop camel women in makeup don't mention the Christ child. That's what the liberals are trying to do to this country.
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 10:11 AM on December 26, 2005

You ever try kissing a camel without lipstick? You might as well be kissing a drunken, unshaven Alfred Hitchcock.
posted by loquacious at 10:15 AM on December 26, 2005

oh my... ze goggles, zey do nawthing!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:20 AM on December 26, 2005

shame on you, fish, for bringing this to my attention. Even the thirteen seconds or so that I watched has diminished my life.
posted by jonson at 10:28 AM on December 26, 2005

I for one welcome our lipstick wearing, hump bearing lady camel overlords. It's what the lord wants for us.
posted by tula at 10:29 AM on December 26, 2005

For some reason, this reminds me of the part in Hannibal where Gary Oldman slices his face off with shards of mirror.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:51 AM on December 26, 2005

Well, I thought it was great.
posted by speranza at 10:52 AM on December 26, 2005

o.
m.
g.

I can't imagine living the rest of my life without watching this every Christmas from now on.

Does anybody know a way to save a local copy of the .swf file?
posted by BaxterG4 at 10:57 AM on December 26, 2005

Well, now we know who the green monkey is. Excellent work, Agent Triple F.
posted by loquacious at 11:02 AM on December 26, 2005

"Why are those camels wearing lipstick?"

Well, it does get lonely in the desert.
posted by jmgorman at 11:05 AM on December 26, 2005

OMG, I just got referenced on MetaFilter. This is the best Christmas ever!
posted by speranza at 11:06 AM on December 26, 2005

The original video is equally in-your-face , with lotsa booty shaking !

So let's sing togheter " My milk shake is much better then yours lalala lalaa warm it up.. lalalala the boys are waiting"
posted by elpapacito at 11:12 AM on December 26, 2005

Roll On, Thou Deep and Dark Blue Copy Writer - Roll!
posted by The White Hat at 11:13 AM on December 26, 2005

Happy Birthday Jesus. Hope you like CRAP!
posted by namespan at 11:17 AM on December 26, 2005

You know, while viewing that...thing, I began to smell something...like burning flesh...then I realized what it was...MY EYES! MY EYES!! THEY BURN, THEY BURN!!!
posted by doublehelix at 11:27 AM on December 26, 2005

I don't think I've ever been so grateful that my speakers were off.

And loquacious... I think I love you. (Tell your space aliens to hurry up already!)
posted by Space Kitty at 11:28 AM on December 26, 2005

So. If I'm not mistaken, the deal is that He died on that cross in order that we could be free to produce stuff like this.
Not much of a trade was it?



On the other hand, it has quite a catchy riff to it...
posted by apocalypse miaow at 11:35 AM on December 26, 2005

It appears that "My Humps" is well on its way to becoming a cherished holiday classic. That is most excellent.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 11:37 AM on December 26, 2005

Does anybody know a way to save a local copy of the .swf file?

In Firefox: Tools ->Page Info ->Media tab. Highlight the appropriate .swf file (not sure which one it is for that page), and click "Save As".
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:42 AM on December 26, 2005

So, mass suicide at, say, 3PM today?
posted by five fresh fish at 11:55 AM on December 26, 2005

I just spit nog on my monitor.

Sacrilicious indeed!
posted by HyperBlue at 12:03 PM on December 26, 2005

.
posted by dmd at 12:05 PM on December 26, 2005

i'd walk a mile to smoke camels ... especially those camels
posted by pyramid termite at 12:10 PM on December 26, 2005

five fresh fish: Only then shall this world be safe from this meme.

I probably shouldn't mention this, but I have yet to hear this wondrously crappy song you speak of. Then again, I never heard "Badger-Badger" until after somebody rehashed it as "Potter-Potter". ("Snape, Snape, there goes the Snape....")
posted by lodurr at 12:15 PM on December 26, 2005

No. Just no.
posted by psmealey at 12:44 PM on December 26, 2005

....didn't you think it was a trifle unnecessary to see the camel's bottoms?

but at least there was no toe....
posted by knapah at 12:52 PM on December 26, 2005

The war on Christmas has now officially been lost!!!!
posted by birdhaus at 12:58 PM on December 26, 2005

I'd like to stick a needle in those camels eyes.
posted by Joeforking at 1:09 PM on December 26, 2005

I feel even better that I have never heard whatever shit song this is a lame parody of. And yes, jesus must be spinning in his grave.
posted by Acey at 1:10 PM on December 26, 2005

And the Lord spoke, "Make unto me a bad parody of a worst song ever."

And so it came to be.
posted by graventy at 1:14 PM on December 26, 2005

Tomb. Not grave.
posted by BaxterG4 at 1:36 PM on December 26, 2005

Christ is rolling over in his grave.

Er ...

Actually, this gives me an idea I must pitch to americangreetings.com ...

... an Easter flash e-card to the tune of Mott the Hoople's "Roll Away The Stone"

"Sha-la-la-la push push!"
posted by essexjan at 1:36 PM on December 26, 2005

damn...
posted by c13 at 1:45 PM on December 26, 2005

BaxterG4: Tomb. Not grave.

He's not actually in there anymore, you know. Or so I'm told by my christian friends.
posted by lodurr at 1:48 PM on December 26, 2005

lodurr: therein lies teh funnay. Or not.
posted by BaxterG4 at 1:57 PM on December 26, 2005

Remember, folks, second hand My Humps kills. It's not just yourself you're hurting when you turn it up.
posted by weston at 2:00 PM on December 26, 2005

Happy Chanukah
posted by ParisParamus at 2:31 PM on December 26, 2005

C'mon you guys--it's the reason for the season.
posted by leftcoastbob at 2:31 PM on December 26, 2005

Those camels are pretty hot. I'd hit it.
posted by soiled cowboy at 2:45 PM on December 26, 2005

Is anyone else creeped out by the fact that someone might very well see this as a suitable substitute for an actual Christmas card?

The people who made it seemed to think so.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 2:52 PM on December 26, 2005

The damn thing is sticking in my brain like dog shit to the sole of a shoe!

My hump, my hump.
The treasure from my hump.
posted by leftcoastbob at 3:02 PM on December 26, 2005

I've never heard that song and I'd like to keep it that way. That's why I never listen to the radio.
posted by mike3k at 3:04 PM on December 26, 2005

this is waay better - just needs a crap flash front end.

get your dreidel on (hotpilfered from aprilwinchell.com)
posted by isopraxis at 3:37 PM on December 26, 2005

bah - my bad -
chekit out chooself
posted by isopraxis at 3:38 PM on December 26, 2005

Get Your Dreidel On

Much better than the Chanukah music I was subject to at Hebrew School.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:42 PM on December 26, 2005

Oooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwh, my squeedilyspooch!
posted by nlindstrom at 3:44 PM on December 26, 2005

99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of Flash sucks.
posted by HTuttle at 3:52 PM on December 26, 2005

Am I the only one thinking that the card was a VAST improvement over the original?

(DISCLAIMER: I saw the original music vid whilst at gym on a treadmill and while I ran as fast as I could, I couldn't seem to get away...)
posted by ninazer0 at 4:18 PM on December 26, 2005

Like a horrific car wreck, I couldn't turn away as I saw it unfold before me, and now no words can express how dirty I feel.
posted by kyleg at 4:31 PM on December 26, 2005

The best Chanukkah music ever, of course, has been released just this year by The Leevees. My personal favorite is "How do you spell Channukkahh?"
posted by brina at 4:47 PM on December 26, 2005

Essexjan- that needed a spew warning. (fortunately, my beer glass was empty ATM. I've since remedied that.)
posted by jlkr at 4:49 PM on December 26, 2005

Those dreidel links told me I was evil. I swear to god I didn't think anything when those shapely camels swang their hot little tails at me - so I can't be that evil...can I?
posted by Sparx at 4:58 PM on December 26, 2005

I thought "I shall now have to kill myself" was a bit extreme, but after watching the entire thing, well, 3 PM can't come soon enough.
posted by needs more cowbell at 5:16 PM on December 26, 2005

Brina, that is great stuff!
posted by ParisParamus at 5:17 PM on December 26, 2005

I'm just glad that God isn't alive to see this. It would break her heart.
posted by I Love Tacos at 5:21 PM on December 26, 2005

"You know Jules, there is the brink of insanity and then there is the abyss,
which obviously you have fallen into!"- St. Elmo's Fire.
posted by paulsc at 5:40 PM on December 26, 2005

I think this has replaced the Jeni from the block 'don't worry about the bombs that I got, I'm still, I'm still Saddam from Iraq' flash animation that appeared before the invasion as most annoying animation evah. Well done everybody.
posted by asok at 5:56 PM on December 26, 2005

I love that “soiled cowboy” posted the comment he did.
posted by Gnatcho at 6:30 PM on December 26, 2005

Anyone who has ever worked in any creative industry will tell you that without a shadow of a doubt, the reason that this grotesque entity exists is an Idea From Someone In Management.
posted by Hogshead at 6:40 PM on December 26, 2005

This was enough to make the Baby Jeebus snort frankincense out his nose.
posted by ancientgower at 7:12 PM on December 26, 2005

:(

make it stop.
posted by youarenothere at 7:56 PM on December 26, 2005

Some of the comments in this thread make it almost worth it to watch that animation. Almost
posted by Penks at 8:44 PM on December 26, 2005

I can't wait for the remix by Tiësto or maybe Funkmaster Flex.

(My first post, btw!)
posted by hyperlith at 8:47 PM on December 26, 2005

Oh, shit, I forgot the time and completely missed out on our mass suicide!

How'd it go, guys? Guys? Hello?

Uh-oh. My bad.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:03 PM on December 26, 2005

the worst part of this whole thread is that more than likely, the majority of the american public would just be tickled pink by this. they love the song, they love the sentiment, and they love crappy flash animations. this thing is tailor-made for public adoration.

3pm? i'm there.
posted by ab3 at 9:04 PM on December 26, 2005

or, well, i would have been there, if i hadn't missed it. maybe next time.
posted by ab3 at 9:15 PM on December 26, 2005

Watched 6 hours ago. Still speechless.
posted by maryh at 10:48 PM on December 26, 2005

I loved this. Really. It was so, so, so horrible that it came right through to wonderful.

My 3 year old just wants to know "Why are those camels singing? Real camels don't sing. Do they?" I can't get past the lipstick either.
posted by squashy wol at 1:28 AM on December 27, 2005

Awesome...and by awesome I mean...not at all. Good find. I'm forwording that to about 100 people.
posted by se7encrows at 3:14 AM on December 27, 2005

Camels with humps are probably better than turkeys with humps.
posted by boo_radley at 4:19 AM on December 27, 2005

I'm imagining Conan O'Brien presenting this on his show, then staring dejectedly away from the camera into the middle distance as the studio audience laughs raucously.
posted by alumshubby at 4:52 AM on December 27, 2005

Oh dear, tears actually started streaming out my eyes while watching this. And then I realised it was blood.
posted by Navek Rednam at 5:04 AM on December 27, 2005

I only turned my sound on about halfway through.

It was still terrible.
posted by JoshTeeters at 5:23 AM on December 27, 2005

Hi, I just got here--is it too late to say I hate this?
posted by Citizen Premier at 5:32 AM on December 27, 2005

I think the craptacular tag is highly underutilized.
posted by anomie at 8:35 AM on December 27, 2005

Wha - I.. Are you people crazy? I... I loved it! It... (cries for a long, long time)
posted by Football Bat at 10:50 AM on December 27, 2005