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The Birth of Sean Preston
March 24, 2006 9:13 AM   Subscribe

"First Pro-Life Monument to Birth" (NSFW) featuring a nude Britney Spears giving birth on a bear-skin rug.
posted by rottytooth (100 comments total)

 
Please someone tell me this is fake/spoof/I'm dreaming.
posted by Sharktattoo at 9:16 AM on March 24, 2006


I don't buy it for a second.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:17 AM on March 24, 2006


It's Pro-Life and Anti-Art.
posted by JeffK at 9:17 AM on March 24, 2006


This is the greatest thing that has ever been done.
posted by delmoi at 9:18 AM on March 24, 2006


I have been misinformed about how people give birth.
posted by ORthey at 9:19 AM on March 24, 2006


Actually, it's quite good.
posted by billysumday at 9:19 AM on March 24, 2006


Save the bears.
posted by 327.ca at 9:20 AM on March 24, 2006


And the great thing is, this place is about ten minutes' walk from my apartment. I have to check this out!
posted by Decani at 9:20 AM on March 24, 2006


Although the fact that none of the photos show the 'rear view'.
posted by delmoi at 9:20 AM on March 24, 2006


Decani get some pics of the actual baby comming out.
posted by delmoi at 9:20 AM on March 24, 2006


it starts when... April 7? If they let me take pics, I will.
posted by Decani at 9:22 AM on March 24, 2006


Pro-Life? Dude, the bear is dead... then skinned for an ornamental rug...
posted by Hanover Phist at 9:23 AM on March 24, 2006


Please tell me this is not happening.
posted by keijo at 9:23 AM on March 24, 2006


second delmoi. I saw this on another site this morning, and was totally disappointed we don't get to see tater tot's emerging head!

My irony meter is ringing off the hook with this one-- Spears gave birth via planned C-section. She's not exactly one known for embracing naturalness.
posted by mowglisambo at 9:24 AM on March 24, 2006


What is the significance of the Bear skin rug? Also, this does not show her giving birth. Also, she doesnt look like Brit at all. Looks like a younger Susan Sarandon to me. How does this advance Pro Life point of view. ?
posted by adnanbwp at 9:25 AM on March 24, 2006


She does EVERYTHING doggy-style, doesn't she?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:25 AM on March 24, 2006


Also, damned thing looks like a hotter version of Charlize Theron, not a whit like Britney.
posted by mowglisambo at 9:25 AM on March 24, 2006


An appropriate location for permanent installation ... is being sought by the gallery.

That's pretty much the understatement of the century, isn't it.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:26 AM on March 24, 2006


This is so good I want to cry. They should get the guy who did Cicciolina to try his hand.
posted by signal at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


Another irony worth noting, Spears is rumored to have recently aborted her second child.

Also also, it's news to me that giving birth is a Pro-Life act.
posted by mowglisambo at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


And you're all wrong, it looks like a Super Hot Toni Colette.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


so you give birth to babies in the snoop doggy dog position now? awesome!

(Oh. The artist is a man.)
posted by Sijeka at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


OMG.
posted by tweak at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


WTF.
posted by tweak at 9:28 AM on March 24, 2006


No one would give birth like that. I mean, how would you clean the rug?
posted by oh pollo! at 9:29 AM on March 24, 2006


This has to be a hoax. My inner Occam is near apoplexia.
posted by CRM114 at 9:29 AM on March 24, 2006


You know that scene in Aliens where Hudson's sweating and yelling all "this can't be happening man, this can't be happening..." Yeah. That.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:30 AM on March 24, 2006


What's that weird cylinder shooting out of her belly button?
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 9:30 AM on March 24, 2006


Man, she is ripped.
posted by birdie birdington at 9:30 AM on March 24, 2006


and is vincent gallo involved in this somehow?
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 9:31 AM on March 24, 2006


100% sure it's tongue-in-cheek commentary. But these days, you just never know, do you?
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 9:31 AM on March 24, 2006


Either way, it's a brilliant move on the artists part.
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 9:33 AM on March 24, 2006


This has to be a hoax. My inner Occam is near apoplexia.

You may be on to something there
posted by echolalia67 at 9:33 AM on March 24, 2006


I prefer the sculpture of Michael Jackson giving birth to the chimpanzee.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:34 AM on March 24, 2006


Yeah, a friend forwarded this to me last night and I called BS on the 'pro life movement' angle. It certainly is a great publicity move, though.
posted by verb at 9:36 AM on March 24, 2006


Two minutes googling reveals that this is indeed a spoof (though in the sense of pomo art parodying itself, rather than pranksters parodying pomo art. Fine line.) The bartlebooth award that the writeup proudly cites "honours current artists who devote themselves to truly unnecessary, painstaking activities which outside the 'contemporary art' world would get one locked in the loony bin." The artist's other work includes the cryonic head of Ted Williams.
posted by ook at 9:37 AM on March 24, 2006


"The artist admits to using references that include the wax figure of a pole-dancing Britney at Las Vegas’ Madame Tussauds"

I tell ya, that Brit, she's all over the steriotypes, whore, virgin, mother... wonder if she'll ever accept being a crone.

Technally the sculpture looks ok, but yeah, the message is a bit absurd and muddled.
posted by edgeways at 9:40 AM on March 24, 2006


Horray! Postmodern art has baffled the rubes in Peoria once again! Good work, old bean.
posted by mowglisambo at 9:40 AM on March 24, 2006


ah well ook's got it. Everyone take a deep breath now.

PUSH!
posted by edgeways at 9:41 AM on March 24, 2006


Where's Jeff Koons when we need him most?
posted by fandango_matt at 9:42 AM on March 24, 2006


Needs more Stevie Nicks.
posted by bondcliff at 9:44 AM on March 24, 2006


Another irony worth noting, Spears is rumored to have recently aborted her second child.

Actually, spears is rumored to have personally aborted Jenna Bush's baby. I think you might have gotten your rumors mixed up.
posted by delmoi at 9:45 AM on March 24, 2006


I bet she got some WICKED baby burn (NSFW).
posted by thefreek at 9:45 AM on March 24, 2006


no, it looks like the NY Central Park Coyote rug.
posted by GoodJob! at 9:45 AM on March 24, 2006


Look like Ashley Judd to me.
posted by afx114 at 9:47 AM on March 24, 2006


hey, woah, why isn't that Stevie Nicks page an FPP?
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 9:47 AM on March 24, 2006


I think it has been, Smiley.
posted by bondcliff at 9:48 AM on March 24, 2006


CRM114, your post lead me to a very worthwhile wiki. Cheers gov.
posted by dobie at 9:51 AM on March 24, 2006


From the article: "(High-Res 300dpi 4x5" images available for media only at: Send2Press.com/MediaDesk/Edwards/)"

Better not go there if you're not the media!
posted by pwb503 at 9:52 AM on March 24, 2006


Actually, spears is rumored to have personally aborted Jenna Bush's baby. I think you might have gotten your rumors mixed up.

Please, don't insult our intelligence. That myth was debunked on Gawker months ago.
posted by mowglisambo at 9:55 AM on March 24, 2006


It looks like somebody added a belly to an otherwise not pregnant body - no layer of body fat & thin arms and thighs. The position doesn't look very effective for delivery, or even labor. WTF?
posted by theora55 at 10:02 AM on March 24, 2006


It reminded me of the sculptures in My Life as a Dog.
posted by chococat at 10:04 AM on March 24, 2006


oh. my. god?
posted by phaedon at 10:14 AM on March 24, 2006


Kinda funny. Representational art is all about having a sense of humor these days, isn't it?

My question is: is the press release part of the work?
posted by mr_roboto at 10:14 AM on March 24, 2006


.
posted by fleetmouse at 10:15 AM on March 24, 2006


and somewhere on the net, a person known in some locales as Takhys is grinning madly.
posted by mephron at 10:16 AM on March 24, 2006


thefreek; no wonder I had such a bad UTI after my daughter was born!
posted by GoodJob! at 10:17 AM on March 24, 2006


I was sure it'd be a horrible statue, it really isn't. I thought it'd be much much worse
posted by matteo at 10:19 AM on March 24, 2006


You know, I thought it was a pretty great sculpture, but the high def pictures show that it's sort of shabby, and seems unfinished. What material is that? It seems like clay that hasn't yet hardened.
posted by billysumday at 10:21 AM on March 24, 2006


billysumday,
You are correct. The pics are of the artist's clay sculpts, not a finished casting.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:28 AM on March 24, 2006


I eagerly await the bronzes.
It's shit like this that reminds me why I love art so much.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:29 AM on March 24, 2006


I don't know art, but I know what I like: Naked pop stars in doggie positions on bear rugs with babies in their cooters.

Finally, art for me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:34 AM on March 24, 2006


That bear's not dead, he's just restin'
posted by Lord Kinbote at 10:35 AM on March 24, 2006


Britney still lives ? I tought gossip and cocaine would have killer her
posted by elpapacito at 10:38 AM on March 24, 2006


It's threads like this that remind me why I love MeFi so much.
posted by NationalKato at 10:39 AM on March 24, 2006


Goddamn, imagine the smell on that rug.
posted by saladin at 10:39 AM on March 24, 2006


Bravo.

Keep bears in the threatdown.
posted by ColdChef at 10:41 AM on March 24, 2006


I have to agree with some of the people above that this seems more like a monument to preggie porn than any kind of a remotely-actual childbirth situation.

Not to bring down the celebratory vibe here, but one of the problems that I frequently have with "pomo" art like this is that it seems like the artist comes up with the title/concept and then does the bare minimum to actualize the work. For example, if someone were seriously trying to make a "pro-life", pro-Britney child birth sculpture, they would do so with sensitivity and reverence - something this sculpture really lacks. I think the irony/point of the work could (and would) be much stronger if they took some time to understand the cultural position that they're trying to comment on and work from there, rather than just making a crass piece that capitalizes on right-wing/low-culture bashing in the name of so-called hipster irony.

Just my two cents. Carry on.
posted by peptide at 10:46 AM on March 24, 2006


I just bought the thing. Gonna put it in my rumpus room, next to the sex swing. You guys should come over and see it.
posted by bardic at 10:50 AM on March 24, 2006


In future news... Kevin Fedrline is a stripper.
posted by thefreek at 11:07 AM on March 24, 2006


... who dances under the stage name of "Poppa ZOW!, The Brazillian Ass-Shaker".
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:11 AM on March 24, 2006


This prank has Joey Skaggs written all over it.
posted by Spatch at 11:30 AM on March 24, 2006


...and yet we'll never see a nude bear giving birth atop a disemboweled Spears.
posted by milquetoast at 11:37 AM on March 24, 2006


How is this NSFW?
posted by sveskemus at 11:58 AM on March 24, 2006


I want to order one
posted by craven_morhead at 12:02 PM on March 24, 2006


I think Alvy Ampersand would have nailed it, were not for the fact that "Super Hot Toni Collette" an oxymoron.
posted by spock at 12:04 PM on March 24, 2006


I hear that Stevie Nick's next album is gonna be entitled "Isn't Age A Bitch?"


posted by spock at 12:13 PM on March 24, 2006


Nicks is still hot. I'd blow cocaine up her ass any day of the week. Except Sunday. That's God's day.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:18 PM on March 24, 2006


spock writes "I hear that Stevie Nick's next album is gonna be entitled 'Isn't Age A Bitch?'"

She's so fucking lame for getting old. Ha! You're old!

Stupid Stevie Nicks. We want our celebrities to die young!
posted by mr_roboto at 12:21 PM on March 24, 2006


Just like the white winged dove
Sings a song
Sounds like she's singing
Ooo baby
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:33 PM on March 24, 2006


The clouds never expect it
When it rains
But the sea changes colours...
But the sea
Does not change
And so with the slow graceful flow
Of age
I went forth with an age-old
Desire to please
On the edge of seventeen
posted by spock at 12:42 PM on March 24, 2006


Pomo and porno are hard to differentiate as words.

How appropriate.
posted by jouke at 12:52 PM on March 24, 2006


CRM114, your post lead me to a very worthwhile wiki. Cheers gov.
posted by dobie at 12:51 PM EST on March 24


Do share, dobie.
posted by CRM114 at 1:06 PM on March 24, 2006


I like it. Looks nothing like Britney, however, or really any pregnant woman.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:49 PM on March 24, 2006


It's been a long time since I've had this much fun in a thread. Thanks.
posted by rush at 2:42 PM on March 24, 2006


CRM114: Realizing that I had no idea what you were talking about, but liking the sounds of your words, led me to reading about Occam and his delightful Razor.
posted by dobie at 2:56 PM on March 24, 2006


Oh, I get it. Britney Spears is giving birth to an adult grizzly bear, but the bear is too large for any human woman to deliver all at once, so she is growing and delivering the component bear pieces separately to be reassembled at a later date. Currently she's done with the head and full term with a piece of leg. The whole process should span about three more decades with a tentative completion date set for 2032.
posted by dgaicun at 3:33 PM on March 24, 2006


Is it true that James Dobson has purchased this sculpture for use as a lawn ornament?
posted by maryh at 4:00 PM on March 24, 2006


This reminds me of that awful flag for the corrupt central american dictator in the original "The In-Laws." If this was a painting, it would have to be on black velvet.
posted by crunchland at 4:08 PM on March 24, 2006


Man, I loved those paintings.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:10 PM on March 24, 2006


It looks like somebody added a belly to an otherwise not pregnant body - no layer of body fat & thin arms and thighs. The position doesn't look very effective for delivery, or even labor. WTF?
posted by theora55 at 10:02 AM PST on March 24 [!]


Actually, have you seen the pictures of Angelina Jolie recently? Could her arms get any skinnier? But you're right, it looks more like a back-stretching excercise in a childbirth class. And trying to deliver like that would be going against gravity.
posted by annieb at 4:38 PM on March 24, 2006


Pro-Lifers condoning a nude statue.. yeah, that's legit....

Even Stevie's HAIR is old.
posted by wfc123 at 6:16 PM on March 24, 2006


"Look like Ashley Judd to me."

I saw it and thought it looked like Charlize Theron, but then I always thought her and Ashley Judd looked alike.
posted by nthdegx at 12:07 PM on March 25, 2006


Stevie Nicks used to haunt my teenaged dreams. I think she still looks just fine. If only she wasn't such a totally whacked-out, coked-up, west coast space case she'd be my ideal woman. Probably.

I wish I knew what happened to my copy of this, mind. Crap record, but the lyrics were profoundly meaningful to me.
posted by Decani at 3:44 PM on March 26, 2006


If you've seen Stevie Nicks in concert singing something upbeat like Enchanted, you wouldn't call her old.

(thank goodness for thread hijacks!)
posted by artifarce at 2:05 PM on March 28, 2006


AP on the controversy. I didn't know it was lifesize. Did anybody nab any pics of the business end yet?
posted by dgaicun at 2:33 PM on March 28, 2006


Lifesize? Holy shit. The opening's next week, maybe someone will get pics then (perhaps I will).
posted by rottytooth at 7:47 AM on March 29, 2006


Rear view.
posted by ColdChef at 5:33 PM on April 6, 2006


I would love to take photos and/or video of people EMERGING from this exhibit.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:37 PM on April 6, 2006


Holy shit, that's the biggest clitoris I've ever seen!
posted by dgaicun at 11:16 AM on April 10, 2006


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