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NetHack porn
May 2, 2006 2:43 PM   Subscribe

Time stands still while you view NetHack porn... The incubus seems to have enjoyed it more than you. NSFW.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water (48 comments total)

 
...um, well I'm sure someone will enjoy it.

Personally I found it satisfying simply waiting for it to load...

(the buildup is always better than the release)
posted by knapah at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2006


And here I thought NetHack porn would be something like

....
.P..
.V..###
....

posted by Nelson at 2:58 PM on May 2, 2006


Yeah, that's not what nethack looks like!

penis remains flaccid
posted by sonofsamiam at 3:02 PM on May 2, 2006


Using pictures is so un-NetHack.

Any real nethack player knows that a really hot NetHack scene simply looks like:

. . .
&@&
. . .

You have to imagine that the ampersands are gray. Otherwise the picture is simply disturbing.
posted by blahblahblah at 3:03 PM on May 2, 2006


&@ is more like it. None of this Vampire/Pudding erotica, Nelson!
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 3:07 PM on May 2, 2006


Man, I don't get manga at all.
posted by rkent at 3:07 PM on May 2, 2006


Well, something just ascended.
posted by bardic at 3:09 PM on May 2, 2006


So, any kid with a computer can post his fan porn drawings and get an FPP on MeFi?

.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:12 PM on May 2, 2006


Japanese girls kissing was so much better.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 3:13 PM on May 2, 2006


At least it's not Cthangband porn.
posted by ryoshu at 3:14 PM on May 2, 2006


rkent : "Man, I don't get manga at all."

It's not manga, so that's some extra not-getting that you're not getting.
posted by Bugbread at 3:15 PM on May 2, 2006


Man, I don't get nethack at all.
posted by odinsdream at 3:15 PM on May 2, 2006


So, any kid with a computer can post his fan porn drawings and get an FPP on MeFi?

If you email me the addy of your porn drawings, I'll totally post them to MeFi.
posted by mkultra at 3:16 PM on May 2, 2006


It's not manga, so that's some extra not-getting that you're not getting.
posted by bugbread
make that two of us.
posted by nola at 3:23 PM on May 2, 2006


Eh? How are these poorly drawn characters in a amnag style not related to Manga?

Also why the hell am I looking at this shit, let alone discussing it?
posted by Artw at 3:33 PM on May 2, 2006


How are they manga style? Looks full-on like American artstyle to me.
posted by Bugbread at 3:34 PM on May 2, 2006


I think ripping off manga must be the new american art style then.
posted by Artw at 3:39 PM on May 2, 2006


Awe man, I was totally hoping for a porn movie rendered in Nethack characters. Some cheesy music. The asterisk and ampersands move a little closer together. All the dialog runs at the top of the screen.

I must agree with the other naysayers in this thread. Hand drawn Nethack porn is weak.
posted by Farengast at 3:41 PM on May 2, 2006


Dammit, you made me look AGAIN. The eyes could be bigger, but theres plenty of manga-style hair there. One of the guys looks a lot like Jet from Cowboy Bebop. Also I am now blind.
posted by Artw at 3:46 PM on May 2, 2006


I totally missed the part where this place became pornfilter!
posted by Hildegarde at 3:56 PM on May 2, 2006


True, this post is bound to be a disappointment to anyone hoping to get off on NetHack, but that's not why you seek out this crap. You do it to get that thrill of astonishment as you say to yourself, "Jesus H. W. Christ! The world is a little bit freakier than I thought!" It's the same feeling that a lego church or a maximised salad-bowl generates. It's Web stuff. Stuff you never thought anyone would do. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it shows you a niche, then fills it, and that's satisfying on a lot of levels. It gives you a glimpse into the tremendous variety of human experience, and I personally give it three cheers: tentacles, fur, zorkmids and all.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 3:58 PM on May 2, 2006


Artw : "I think ripping off manga must be the new american art style then."

That may be. Manga started as a rip off of Disney (hence all the enormous eyes), so I wouldn't be too surprised.

And good call on the hair.
posted by Bugbread at 4:01 PM on May 2, 2006


You seek out this crap????
posted by Artw at 4:02 PM on May 2, 2006


I think one reason it doesn't look like manga to me is that it reminds of art like this, which are based off WWII pinup art. That may have directed my mind to overlook manga similarities.
posted by Bugbread at 4:07 PM on May 2, 2006


I think they are complaining about the choice of venue. If I want to see the horrors of the collective internet unconscious, I generally hop on over to Lowtax's website and cycle through the "Awful link of the day" archives.
posted by thanatogenous at 4:09 PM on May 2, 2006


Like kids these days know what WWII is.
posted by Artw at 4:11 PM on May 2, 2006


Like kids these days know what WWII is.

it was america against fascism ... we lost
posted by pyramid termite at 4:30 PM on May 2, 2006


Artw : "Like kids these days know what WWII is."

True. I was just assuming that neither rkent nor Håkan Ackegård (man, how's that for a name!) were kids. But, as I say, my perception may have been clouded, so while I won't say that it's manga-style, I'll admit that it may be influenced by it.

And, pedantically, whether it's manga style or not, it certainly isn't manga itself, because it's not a comic book
posted by Bugbread at 4:32 PM on May 2, 2006


Nerdcore! I concede the point.
posted by Artw at 4:33 PM on May 2, 2006


You put on your robe -- more --

You put on your wizard hat -- more --
posted by felix at 4:47 PM on May 2, 2006


Kids these days will think WWII is that stupid upcoming Nintendo box.

None of this Vampire/Pudding erotica, Nelson!

Thanks for that. Nethack will never be the same for this poor, innocent Barbarian.
posted by theredpen at 4:47 PM on May 2, 2006


theredpen : "Kids these days will think WWII is that stupid upcoming Nintendo box. "

Hopefully, considering the care and consideration they've put into deciding on "WII" as a name, they'll release an online version and call it "Web WII".
posted by Bugbread at 4:55 PM on May 2, 2006


For what it's worth, it was mildly entertaining to this neutral tourist, thanks for posting. Mind you, it wasn't exactly what I was imagining, but then again having your own mental image is the attraction of games like nethack.

(the bad thing about this post is that I'm going to be stuck with an entirely inappropriate mental image of Izchak for all eternity now)
posted by fvw at 5:10 PM on May 2, 2006


excuse me?
posted by es_de_bah at 5:18 PM on May 2, 2006


I am totally getting off on the self-satisfied look on the wolf's face.

i wish it was more acceptable to post inline images
posted by beerbajay at 5:51 PM on May 2, 2006


Beerbajay, I have to agree -- some of these drawings are great. I don't get the Nethack ref, or even if these are fan pics of something? I thought it was just odd little doodles in a competent hand.

Don't miss the more lovingly rendered playElf gallery. <-- nsfw
posted by undule at 6:03 PM on May 2, 2006


But hey fvw, at least she got a free scroll out of the deal.
posted by JHarris at 6:46 PM on May 2, 2006


Wear armor
Take off armor
Force a lock
A scroll
posted by kimota at 6:54 PM on May 2, 2006




once again,
ASCII
PRON
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 7:16 PM on May 2, 2006


Man, no wonder I've never been able to beat Nethack. All this time I was playing a naked chick with her arms tied behind her back. Boobing monsters to death only works for the first few levels.
posted by graventy at 7:23 PM on May 2, 2006


Japanese girls kissing was so much better.

This comment is useless without links.
posted by dreamsign at 7:39 PM on May 2, 2006


rkent : "Man, I don't get manga at all."

bugbread: "It's not manga, so that's some extra not-getting that you're not getting."


It's the furry influence, isn't it?
posted by porpoise at 7:50 PM on May 2, 2006


felix totally wins.
posted by spiderwire at 11:24 PM on May 2, 2006


The wizard robe and hat gambit always wins.
posted by Joeforking at 1:15 AM on May 3, 2006


Y'all just don't see the potential. Imagine these critters making out with Spock instead of some naked chick -- HOT!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:05 AM on May 3, 2006


This artwork reminds me of illustrations from old roleplaying game rulebooks. More nudity, and more obvious "dude drawing hot cartoon chix" going on, but similar. Some samples of the artwork that I spent so many hours glancing over in rulebooks:

Tunnels and Trolls (info) pix: [ 1 2 3 4 5 ]
The Fantasy Trip (info) pix: [ 1 2 ]
posted by dammitjim at 8:09 AM on May 3, 2006


This artwork reminds me of illustrations from old roleplaying game rulebooks.

Ah, see, I thought you might mention: The Efreet and the Pretty Girl

David Sutherland, RIP
posted by thanotopsis at 9:25 AM on May 3, 2006


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