The day the grass was mowed.

May 9, 2006 12:41 PM

What’s a protest without a little counter-protest? Not that army of one Nita Shinn hasn’t done a bang up job before, but asking people to come out and protest with their toilet bowl brushes, their brooms, their lawn mowers, their pots and pans? - man, that’s just brilliant. Because it’s not un-American to fight to keep America, or to turn in an illegal alien. And, uh, what was the issue again? Flags? Or the national anthem in Spanish or something?
posted by Smedleyman (29 comments total)

"Let me ask you something - can you answer yes to any of these?"

Yeah -- all of those problems/issues are the fault of illegal immigrants! That's right, they are!
posted by ericb at 12:51 PM on May 9, 2006

Proper link to quotation cited.
posted by ericb at 12:53 PM on May 9, 2006

U.S. tipping Mexico to Minuteman patrols
posted by Postroad at 12:54 PM on May 9, 2006

Oh, H.R. 4437, right, right.
Yeah, that's something to talk about.
Can’t tell that from many of the news articles out there though.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:59 PM on May 9, 2006

here's the solution -

"the united states of north america"
posted by pyramid termite at 1:00 PM on May 9, 2006

I had no idea everything wrong with America today is Mexico's fault. Amazing.
posted by chunking express at 1:01 PM on May 9, 2006

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then how can adding over 11 million illegal immigrants make the answers to any of those questions "no"?

That's amazing, ericb. Citizens Against Amnesty have constructed the most astonishing straw man I've seen since Ray Bolger. You could replace the phrase "adding over 11 million illegal immigrants" with anything from "voting for a Republican" to "having a baby" to "sticking your thumb up your ass" and it would be no less relevant. Possibly more so.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:06 PM on May 9, 2006

I'm wondering how long it will be until the Democrats do something silly on the immigration issue and Republicans shift the blame onto them.
posted by three blind mice at 1:07 PM on May 9, 2006

I'm pretty sure that s/he blames illegal immigrants for traffic. Which is retardicrous! I love it!
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:11 PM on May 9, 2006

(s)he also "blames" the fact that a relative might have voluntarily served in a recent US military operation on illegal immigrants.

whaa?
posted by rxrfrx at 1:14 PM on May 9, 2006

So please, tell 2 people and have them tell 2 people about the march

And that's about how many people will actually show up to this "march".
posted by telstar at 1:21 PM on May 9, 2006

Why, oh why, did Mexico think it was such a good idea to send our kids into Iraq?
posted by elr at 1:42 PM on May 9, 2006

So please, tell 2 people and have them tell 2 people about the march

Yeah -- like how only 400 people showed up last September on the National Mall in Washington D.C. to show support for the war in Iraq.

The day before over 100,000 had gathered in D.C. to protest the war.
posted by ericb at 1:46 PM on May 9, 2006

Protests work!
posted by chunking express at 1:49 PM on May 9, 2006

Faint of Butt writes "'sticking your thumb up your ass'"

"Everything I eat smells and tastes like shit, but at least my Uncle can afford his heart medications now!"
posted by OmieWise at 1:52 PM on May 9, 2006

Thanks for these links Smedleyman. I'd totally buy a "viva la migra" bumpersticker, but I know my car would get vandalized. :(
posted by keswick at 2:02 PM on May 9, 2006

I'm wondering how long it will be until the Democrats do something silly on the immigration issue and Republicans shift the blame onto them.

Since when do the Democrats have to do anything silly -- anything at all, in fact, -- in order to have blame shifted onto them by Republicans.

Heaven forbid a Democrat should suggest that illegal immigrants play an important role in the US economy, as simple and incontrivertible a fact as that that the war in Iraq hasn't been the cakewalk that we were promised.

Immigrants -- Mexico -- South America ... ish -- Drugs -- Narcotics -- Narcoterrorists -- You're aiding the terrorists who want to kill Americans by helping us buy cheap apples!

</drunken ranting>
posted by rocketpup at 2:19 PM on May 9, 2006

I would totally buy a swastika bumpersticker, but I know my car would get vandalized. :(

/godwin
posted by elr at 2:30 PM on May 9, 2006

Does your grandmother have a hard time paying for high blood pressure and diabetes medicine?

No. She's dead. But when she was alive insurance, investments and savings paid for those just fine. You seriously think high blood pressure and diabetes medicine are too expensive? Have you priced them? Or do you expect them to be the same price as aspirin and Tums?

Not to mention the fact that drug companies are making huge profits while paying out massive damage awards. Somehow i don't think the high prices has much to do with diabetic nannies and farm workers with high blood pressure.

Is your child using (or worse yet, sharing) text books that are 5 years, 10 years, 20 years old

Our schools suck. I think blaming the people in charge of funding and administrating the schools are the ones you need to blame, not a tiny minority of students.

Can your uncle afford his heart medicine?

Broken record much?

Did your brother/uncle/cousin go to Iraq/Afganistan/Desert Storm?

Please oh please explain to us how illegal immigrants are keeping us mired in a land war in the Middle East. Please? I'll pay you $10. I must hear this one.

Did you sit in rush hour traffic to get to work this morning?

Yes. And you are RIGHT. If we could replace all these workers with real Americans traffic would speed up. I.......... wonder why no one thought of that angle before......

Are your taxes going up?

Ummmm...... No. Going down. That's sort of the problem? Consumer confidence plummeting due to fiscal irresponsibility?

Have your pension and other benefits decreased?

Yes! Damn those illegal immigrants for causing Enron to go under.

Did your health coverage decrease while your premiums increased? - that is if you even have health insurance!

Broken record much?

Do you know someone who broke the law and paid for it?

Well, yes. But Congress has shown little will for impeaching Bush and Cheney, so I'm not sure there's much we can do about that.
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:37 PM on May 9, 2006

Why are the anti-immigrant crowd so freaked out by people who have the audacity to speak a language other than English? Or is it some subtle parody of the French that I just don't appreciate?

I mean sure, a country with four national languages could never manage a banking industry, but other than that.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 2:42 PM on May 9, 2006

"Why, oh why, did Mexico think it was such a good idea to send our kids into Iraq?"

Okay, I got Diet Coke all over the monitor now.
posted by UseyurBrain at 8:03 PM on May 9, 2006

The counter-protesters are several decades too late. We already have a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-lingual society. Instead of wailing for a return to the 1940s, when everyone spoke English and white men were deferred to on every issue, their energy would me better spent finding a way to make the new paradigm work.
posted by Jatayu das at 5:00 AM on May 10, 2006

Its not a boon to a nation to have a significant portion of its population speaking another language. At best, you end up with geographical areas with a explicit cultural difference and an underlying resentment from both sides (I.E. Quebec and the rest of Canada). At worse, the different language and culture leads to desires for political freedom within a national structure to independence from the other entity. This is visible in several areas of Europe, such as the Basque region of Spain, and the Balkans.

I, mean, sure we can turn to that fuzzy soft happy world of multi-culturalism, with everyone dressing up in their ethnic costumes, and dancing around in circles in a meadow celebrating some form of soft drink...but I'd rather not. It is to the nation's benefit to have one language and to share at least a significant amount of culture.

Not to mention, unless the spanish speakers remain in enclaves, they can and do benefit immensely by learning English.
posted by Atreides at 6:25 AM on May 10, 2006

It is to the nation's benefit to have one language and to share at least a significant amount of culture.

It's in a nation's interest to have everyone understand one another. That's really all you need. Of course, since America -- whatever that is -- is perfect, you don't need to understand any other group existing within your borders that doesn't conform to your notion of what an American is. What could they possibly teach you?
posted by chunking express at 7:42 AM on May 10, 2006

If I wanted to be an arrogant snot, I'd just reply, "Well, they came here, didn't they? They recognized that the U.S. had more to offer them than their country of origin."

But, I'm not a snot. What I stated was out of a subjective view on what is best for a nation-state. When ever you have rival cultures within one nation, it causes friction and rarely has any country found a peaceful means to deal with this problem short of one culture absorbing the other. The only other time such an example does not end in significant problems is when one culture belongs to a small percentage of the population. One need only look at the history of the world to see the problems which the above have caused and to note how few and rare the solutions are that have been found.

This isn't about American culture being "better" than another culture, this is about retaining a structural integrity and a society without constant friction and conflict.

In an objective manner, I think its entirely arrogant for any person to travel to one country and not expect to abide and conform by the mainstream culture. This holds true for an American travelling to France and complaining about how French it is. Every nation has its own customs and language which should be respected by all visitors and immigrants. There is no responsibility of any native individual to adopt or change their culture to make life more comfortable for a non-native person.

No one culture is better than another, and often, there are aspects of another culture which can be found beneficial to adopt, but there is no law, natural or manmade, which demands that such an adoption take place. Morality alone is the only aspect deemed necessarily enforceable upon others, concerning specific topics, such as slavery, but a discussion based on the morality of one culture versus another has been, is, and always will be, entirely subjective and impossible to come to any agreeable terms by either party of the discussion.
posted by Atreides at 10:49 AM on May 10, 2006

..entirely objective and impossible to come to...

No lunch = = typos. Nice.
posted by Atreides at 11:08 AM on May 10, 2006

Hehe, from the IL minutemen project

"Keep this image in mind tomorrow while all the "immigrants' rights activist's are out trying to fool America into believing how patriotic they are!
LOL!!!

I find it amusing that they're using LOL in propaganda now. Also, they seem to really like the blink tag.
posted by delmoi at 11:25 AM on May 10, 2006

Spoken like a true design nerd.
posted by keswick at 11:45 AM on May 10, 2006

When ever you have rival cultures within one nation, it causes friction and rarely has any country found a peaceful means to deal with this problem short of one culture absorbing the other.

Of course, you were talking about language groups, not 'cultures'; there are huge variations in culture in the United States, state by state. (Compare Alabama to Manhattan). I'd say that the average 'cultural difference' between the average Spanish speaking immigrant and the average English speaking is less then the standard deviation in culture between English speaking Americans.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because they're kids will learn English. Most third generation Mexican-Americans don't even speak Spanish in the first place.
posted by delmoi at 11:46 AM on May 10, 2006