For the line tests, any colored line, no matter how faint, in the result window during the alotted time is a positive result.

May 12, 2006 10:44 AM

"I can give up smoking at any time, but I don't find it affects my pregnancy."
Oh yeah, this expectant mother is also 12 years old.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus (99 comments total)

Well, so much for that "Don't get a teen preganant day" stuff that was going around last week.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:47 AM on May 12, 2006

They didn't say anything about pre-teens....
posted by maryh at 10:48 AM on May 12, 2006

Why is it that if it's said with a British accent (or diction) of any sort, I trust it more than I ever would otherwise?

This girl says she "doesn't find it affects her pregnancy" - well, that sounds personably reasonable. Why not! She doesn't find it.

Goddamn accents confusing me and then making me look dumb.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 10:50 AM on May 12, 2006

If only someone had given her an abstinence lecture.
posted by 2sheets at 10:53 AM on May 12, 2006

...

but.. in Britain?
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 10:53 AM on May 12, 2006

Second link didn't work for me - this one does, though.

Officials must despair over this kind of thing. We have a fancy-schmancy cross-government teenage pregnancy unit, with what is actually a pretty good strategy, and yet I don't think they're going to hit their targets. I suppose it's because comes down to changing behaviour, which is the big challenge for any government - you can't really legislate for this kind of change, you can only exhort. Interesting too that all the messages about the dangers of smoking when pregnant have missed their target, as well.
posted by greycap at 10:54 AM on May 12, 2006

J.F.C
posted by poppo at 10:54 AM on May 12, 2006

Won't someone think of the children?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:54 AM on May 12, 2006

Was she thinking of "my" as including the child? Or was the "my" just herself? In either case, here's what is to me the more interesting question: how did she decide which "my" was the appropriate one to be deliberating about?
posted by NationalKato at 10:54 AM on May 12, 2006

Fark
posted by caddis at 10:55 AM on May 12, 2006

I worry about the mental capacity of the fetus, with all the drinking and smoking going on.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 10:55 AM on May 12, 2006

All I can say is thank goodness she wasn't using contraception; that would be perverse.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:57 AM on May 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

The girl, who has shoulder-length dark hair, began smoking at nine and started drinking tonic wine and vodka cocktails at ten.

What an odd way to start that sentence.

So, the kid's life is basically fucked from the word go, right? Poor bastard. You need a license to drive a car or practice medicine, but anyone can ruin someone's life just by giving birth to them.
posted by Orange Goblin at 10:58 AM on May 12, 2006

like the prenatal drinking and smoking is going to be this baby's biggest problem /sarcasm
posted by poppo at 10:59 AM on May 12, 2006

"I knew straight away that I couldn't have an abortion because that's something I don't believe in."

Oh right, but getting drunk and screwing around at 11 years old fits right in with your moral outlook.
posted by geoff. at 11:03 AM on May 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

Stories like this always remind me of the time I went to pick up a friend's motorcycle after a wreck. Some dumbass who wasn't paying attention (and was eventually charged with the wreck) pulled out in front of my friend, and the impact left their Suzuki Samurai on its side in a ditch. Amazingly no one was hurt. When I got their the dumbass's wife who looked to be about 8 months pregnant was standing in a puddle of spilled gasoline, talking on her cell phone and smoking a cigarette. Zappa was right when said that stupidity is the most common element in the universe.
posted by TedW at 11:04 AM on May 12, 2006

Smoking, drinking, eleven year-old mother, the (15 year-old) father is in jail, and the grandmother is in a bubble of obliviousness. That's the new text book definition of a clusterfuck as far as I'm concerned.
posted by mmcg at 11:05 AM on May 12, 2006

I was going to say something cynical and sarcastic, but I think they've all been done at this point.
posted by CRM114 at 11:05 AM on May 12, 2006

Hey, the experience brought her and her Mum closer together. Silver lining, eh?
posted by weepingsore at 11:09 AM on May 12, 2006

A friend of ours had a kid last year after smoking for the duration. The kid was born 4-5 months premature and even a year later spends most of its time int the hospital. The baby has so many health problems and has come close to dying so many times, we dont know why it is still kicking.

Thing is she still smokes all the time. I dont get how some people can be so ignorant. I think that her baby should be taken away from her.
posted by deviantlnx at 11:11 AM on May 12, 2006

Next up on Fox TV, is this family as a reality TV show.
posted by fluffycreature at 11:12 AM on May 12, 2006

I knew this girl who had one normal hand and one claw hand and she was pregnant and smoked and we gave her a hard time about it and she said - I shit you not - "my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and I turned out fine."

You know, except for the claw hand.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:14 AM on May 12, 2006 [3 favorites]

I have an 11 year old son, who doesn't even drink soda, and who is more interested in Bigfoot than girls. This boggles my mind.

This little girl and her baby need to be taken in by a family who can look after both of them.

Also note that the smoking mom is also not planning on nursing the baby - she "knows how to give babies their bottles" so there's another disadvantage to the baby, who will likely be born premature, as well. Poor, poor baby. Where are the pro-lifers now?
posted by Biblio at 11:15 AM on May 12, 2006

So this guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I need birth control for my 12 year old daughter."

The doctor, incredulous, says, "Your 12 year old daughter is sexually active?"

Guy says, "No. She just kind of lays there like her mother."
posted by dios at 11:15 AM on May 12, 2006 [4 favorites]

Good girl. She didn't use contraception. That would have been very wrong.

Such a typical, muck-raking, fake-moral-outrage Daily Mail story, this. They have whole teams out combing the streets for

a) Pregnant underage girls
b) Feckless single mothers
c) Yobs, thugs, vandals and all manner of dreadful, ASBO-laden chavs.
d) Examples of "IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD!" Especially when they can get some veiled racism or sexism into the associated story. And if they can't find any suitable instances they just make it up.
e) Anything that makes middle-class, white, conservative bigots take several sharp intakes of breath and reach for the shotgun.
posted by Decani at 11:16 AM on May 12, 2006

Maybe boys should all have vasectomies at age 9, and then have to pass a test before they can have it reversed.
posted by Hildegarde at 11:18 AM on May 12, 2006

dios wins.
posted by aaronetc at 11:23 AM on May 12, 2006

My mom smoked during my entire gestation period. I'm not developmentally challenged in any way (slight ADD maybe), and I was a 8.5lb baby.

So if you're gonna smoke, smoke True Blue 100's!
posted by Mick at 11:25 AM on May 12, 2006

She could be a grandmother at 25. That's just wrong. Not that being a mother at 12 is much less wrong.
posted by featherboa at 11:26 AM on May 12, 2006

Holy fuckin' shit. She smokes 20 cigs a day?

OK, you're 11 year old daughter boozes, smokes and screws. Now she got knocked up. I would have thought even the worst parents in the world would have cracked down. They can't even stop her from smoking 20 cigs a day?

If someone argued the girl's mother should be killed, I don't think I would disagree.
posted by b_thinky at 11:27 AM on May 12, 2006

Of course she died from Mesothelioma, but she had 37 years of quality smoking first.
posted by Mick at 11:27 AM on May 12, 2006

Such a typical, muck-raking, fake-moral-outrage Daily Mail story, this.

oh, it's just metafilter on a slightly less sophisticated plane, without the snakes
posted by pyramid termite at 11:28 AM on May 12, 2006

She could be a grandmother at 25.
posted by featherboa at 1:26 PM CST on May 12

GILF
posted by dios at 11:30 AM on May 12, 2006

So, uh, is she a chav?
posted by fixedgear at 11:31 AM on May 12, 2006

Survival of the fittest.
posted by Joeforking at 11:32 AM on May 12, 2006

So, uh, is she a chav?

According to Andrew Sullivan, yes, yes she is.
posted by fugitivefromchaingang at 11:33 AM on May 12, 2006

So if you're gonna smoke, smoke True Blue 100's!

Or Export A Full Flavor, aka Green Death!

Where there's smoke there's fire, and if you have a bun in the oven, you'd best keep it warm!
Full flavor for the mummy with a full tummy, Exports take the edge off in a big way!
Nine months will float by like a puff of smoke when you have Export A!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:34 AM on May 12, 2006

She's from Rotherham, right?
posted by longbaugh at 11:34 AM on May 12, 2006

“I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.” -Jack Handy
posted by Crash at 11:36 AM on May 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

Maybe girls should all their tubes tied at age 9, and then have to pass a test before they can have it reversed.
posted by sluglicker at 11:38 AM on May 12, 2006

I'm pretty sure my mom, like many women of her generation, smoked through her 4 pregnancies -- the last one at 42 -- and none of us got anything fancy like claw hands or vestigial tails or extra nipples. (More subtle impairments are debatable.) I'm feeling a bit cheated. We all did grow up really truly hating cigarettes, though.
posted by tula at 11:40 AM on May 12, 2006

Daily Mail OUTRAGE!

Like Decani says, this is crap. Teenagers get pregnant, whoopdedoo. It's obviously all the fault of those damn immigrants, dirty hospitals, rising interest rates, falling house prices and those bastards who killed Diana.
posted by reklaw at 11:42 AM on May 12, 2006

My mom smoked during my entire gestation period. I'm not developmentally challenged in any way

Yeah, except for your claw hand.
posted by CRM114 at 11:43 AM on May 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

tula, when did an extra nipple or two ever hurt anyone?
posted by NationalKato at 11:46 AM on May 12, 2006

I wonder if Nature is going to Hell for allowing 11 year old girls to be fertile.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 11:51 AM on May 12, 2006

Ah, Scotland... my people!
posted by docgonzo at 11:53 AM on May 12, 2006

The only logical solution is to sterilize all the children!
posted by sourwookie at 11:55 AM on May 12, 2006

She will have to push the pram a lot.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 12:01 PM on May 12, 2006

Oh good, let's just put everything from the Daily Mail onto the front page of Mefi. Good job guys.
posted by blacklite at 12:02 PM on May 12, 2006

In case anyone is interested, the youngest mother "ever" was a five year old peruvian girl.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 12:02 PM on May 12, 2006

blacklite, try and keep up: we've already chided the FPP, now we're making funnies about pregger pre-teens.
posted by NationalKato at 12:03 PM on May 12, 2006

I have an 11 year old son, who doesn't even drink soda, and who is more interested in Bigfoot than girls.

Your son's having sex with Bigfoot, and you're okay with that? Talk about laissez-faire!
posted by RokkitNite at 12:03 PM on May 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

That's alright, Biblio. When I was 11 all I cared about was breakdancing and The Police. Which amounts to a lot of parachute pants, dancing with boys, and a man named Sting.
posted by NationalKato at 12:11 PM on May 12, 2006

Oh, this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Dios: good ones.
posted by hackly_fracture at 12:12 PM on May 12, 2006

Your son's having sex with Bigfoot, and you're okay with that? Talk about laissez-faire!

You know what they say. Big feet....
posted by Floydd at 12:17 PM on May 12, 2006

My mom chain smoked during my and my brother's pregnancy. We're both highly-functional professionals, but we give her a hard time about it every chance we get, anyway.
posted by signal at 12:18 PM on May 12, 2006

Maybe girls should all their tubes tied at age 9, and then have to pass a test before they can have it reversed.

Yeah, it's better recommend major surgery on girls than minor surgery on boys, particularly in the comments to a post that, let's not forget, centres around an 11 year old girl who was raped by a 15 year old boy.

I stand by my vasectomy suggestion.
posted by Hildegarde at 12:19 PM on May 12, 2006

If she hadn't been wearing that training bra, Hildegarde...
posted by NationalKato at 12:25 PM on May 12, 2006

Maybe boys should all have vasectomies at age 9, and then have to pass a test before they can have it reversed.

Maybe girls should all their tubes tied at age 9, and then have to pass a test before they can have it reversed.

Both. But no reversals. That'll fix everything right quick.
posted by djeo at 12:45 PM on May 12, 2006

My son has assured me that he and Bigfoot are simply text messaging each other at this point. I'm not sure how, since my son doesn't have a cell phone or a computer and Bigfoot is really Penn Gillette. I think maybe he's using his label maker. Or a pigeon.
posted by Biblio at 12:47 PM on May 12, 2006

I don't know, I think Saucy Intruder wins.
posted by sluglicker at 1:03 PM on May 12, 2006

I call shenanigans. 20 cigarettes a day? Yeah fucking right.

Bad situation made out to be worse by shitty reporters for a shitty paper.
posted by maxreax at 1:03 PM on May 12, 2006

Lots of interest in the sex and the smoking, but how did the children get the alcohol to get drunk? Poor reporting that does not investigate that facet of this tale.
And the 15 year old boy? Also a minor is being prosecuted? Where were his parents with the good advice?
posted by Cranberry at 1:06 PM on May 12, 2006

I call shenanigans. 20 cigarettes a day? Yeah fucking right.

That's a pack a day. If it's something mild like Silk Cut, I don't see that being impossible for an 11 year old. Horrific, but not impossible. The whole thing does smell a bit though.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:08 PM on May 12, 2006

Hildegarde wrote:11 year old girl who was raped by a 15 year old boy

Nowhere in the post did it state that the girl was raped (a forced, violent, sexual attack). If anything, it stated that the girl was most willing and her mother is proud of her. If I had sex with the "15 year old boy" (of course, that would make me gay, not that there's anything wrong with that) I would be prosecuted for having sex with a child. How then can we prosecute a child for having consensual sex with a child? Your argument is wrong and you know it and I suspect it is your attempt to bait people like me into this kind of exchange.
posted by sluglicker at 1:15 PM on May 12, 2006

She doesn't know Jimmy, does she?

Perhaps that's hoping for too much.
posted by unsupervised at 1:17 PM on May 12, 2006

Don't worry, Dr. Phil will fix these people.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 1:18 PM on May 12, 2006

The 15-year-old has since been charged with rape by police, and is due to appear again at Edinburgh sheriff court on July 10.

Your inability to read doesn't make me a troll.
posted by Hildegarde at 1:23 PM on May 12, 2006

Of course not, but I am able to read, and being charged with rape (statutory rape) and raping are two different things. Are you able to read? Do you completely dismiss the speech quoted from the girl and her mother? Don't be ridiculous. Your statements are so absurd I won't comment on them further. (Hehe...she wants me!)
posted by sluglicker at 1:40 PM on May 12, 2006

The 15-year-old has since been charged with rape by police, and is due to appear again at Edinburgh sheriff court on July 10.

Your inability to read doesn't make me a troll.

Perhaps neither does yours. From the 2nd link:

The teenage boy is due to appear in court in July charged with rape because of the age of the girl, who is now 12.

He's charged with rape because of their ages, there's no call either way if he actually did rape her.
posted by splice at 1:50 PM on May 12, 2006

But he may have blown a kiss towards her, and that's sexual assault as far as I'm concerned.
posted by NationalKato at 1:55 PM on May 12, 2006

Maybe the fetus will be born pregnant with another little fetus stuffed inside that one as well.

The day of birthing will be an elaborate Russian nesting doll-type affair.
posted by dr_dank at 1:55 PM on May 12, 2006 [2 favorites]

I think that's for statutory rape, not rape rape.
posted by Flashman at 1:59 PM on May 12, 2006

This thread is about to go from stupid to stupider.
posted by mr_roboto at 2:08 PM on May 12, 2006

I call shenanigans. 20 cigarettes a day? Yeah fucking right.

It wouldn't be the first time The Sun had mis-reported an very similar story:

"They printed loads of things we were supposed to have said, but we didn't even speak to them" - Jenny Teague, the soon-to-be-ex record holder of the Britain's youngest mother title.
posted by brighton at 2:15 PM on May 12, 2006

Maybe the fetus will be born pregnant with another little fetus stuffed inside that one as well.

dr_dank, I do believe you've invented the Chavducken!
posted by contessa at 2:20 PM on May 12, 2006

Yeah, it's better recommend major surgery on girls than minor surgery on boys, particularly in the comments to a post that, let's not forget, centres around an 11 year old girl who was raped by a 15 year old boy.

Raped in the sense that she was not old enough to legally consent to sex, but that doesn't mean she did not actually consent to sex.

Also, the boy was not old enough to consent to sex either, so maybe she raped him?

The point is, rape means forcing someone to have sex with you, the girl doesn't seem to be upset about the sex (calling it 'my first time') so it doesn't seem like rape to me.
posted by delmoi at 2:22 PM on May 12, 2006

First we beat Bulgaria 5-1 and now this ! It's a great week to be Scottish !

- surely rokkitnite has won this thread.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:32 PM on May 12, 2006

I agree - the rape charge is pretty heavy for a 15 year old boy - and boys of that age will fuck damn near anything.

I know she was only 11 at the time - but smoking and drinking, too. She wasn't some vestal virgin. Well…she may have been a virgin…maybe….

I don't think any legal action will solve anything here, and I suspect that the girl's parents are either total losers or they're both working so hard that they don't have time to keep an eye on her.

Labeling the boy a rapist for the rest of his life just doesn't smack of justice to me.
posted by rougy at 2:40 PM on May 12, 2006

No, no, no... contessa has surely won!
posted by Hal Mumkin at 3:02 PM on May 12, 2006

lableing the boy as a loser who couldn't get laid with a girl his age would seem more appropriate. I remember my best buddy across the street had 11 and 12 year old sisters when I was 15 and - eeew.
posted by 2sheets at 3:04 PM on May 12, 2006

First degree statutory rape and first degree rape are treated exactly the same in the state the I live in.
posted by flarbuse at 3:04 PM on May 12, 2006

"...lableing the boy as a loser who couldn't get laid with a girl his age would seem more appropriate."

Very true.

But 11 as in "I'll be 12 in two weeks" and 15 as in "I just turned 15 last month" isn't such a spread.

And, many times, it is the female who initiates the tryst. If she didn't want it, he probably wouldn't have given it to her. She didn't say he did it when she was passed out, did she?
posted by rougy at 3:28 PM on May 12, 2006

"Concerned she might be pregnant, the girl visited a GP three times but tests proved negative. She learned the truth after buying a home-testing kit from a supermarket."

So HOME TESTS are better than THREE visits to a doctor? Can someone please yank that doctor's medical license, please?
posted by GaelFC at 4:06 PM on May 12, 2006

I blame you.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 4:37 PM on May 12, 2006

If the baby's a boy, he might end up having a serious oedipal complex.
posted by Eekacat at 5:11 PM on May 12, 2006

And, many times, it is the female who initiates the tryst. If she didn't want it, he probably wouldn't have given it to her. She didn't say he did it when she was passed out, did she?

The political correctness lynch mob will be here shortly. Please stand by.
posted by oaf at 5:20 PM on May 12, 2006

Good lord. The image from SmileyChewtrain's link is very, very disturbing. And almost certainly NSFW.
posted by soiled cowboy at 5:28 PM on May 12, 2006

Another take, in case you missed it.
posted by IndigoJones at 6:00 PM on May 12, 2006

it's fun to blame smoking for everything, and so easy too.
posted by brandz at 6:09 PM on May 12, 2006

oaf -

"The political correctness lynch mob will be here shortly. Please stand by."

Well...she smokes 20 cigaettes per day. She drinks. These are adult activities. This is something that a head-strong person of that age would do.

Maybe the 15-year-old is a serial don Juan type - I don't know - or something of a preditor - but if he's just a horney stupid 15-year-old kid...rape is just too much.
posted by rougy at 7:01 PM on May 12, 2006

Ah...to be a child of the 70's. Kids these days don't know a damn thing about running into Mom's cigarette at least once a day; more if you were being particularily hyperactive and obnoxious.

Pussies.
posted by moneyjane at 7:31 PM on May 12, 2006

This is something that a head-strong person of that age would do.

Oh, I'm not the lynch mob. I guess Hildegarde has left the thread.
posted by oaf at 7:42 PM on May 12, 2006

I call shenanigans. 20 cigarettes a day? Yeah fucking right.

Bow before me, for I am your new yellow-fingered god!!!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:01 PM on May 12, 2006

Less uncommon than you think. Visiting the southeast US, I was at a drugstore in line and met a very nice woman (who looked 50) who (proudly..) remarked on the fact that she had five generations: her son, grandson, great grandson, and great great grandson in the car waiting.

She was buying cigarettes. She looked 50, and since she was a smoker, I'm guessing I'm not guessing low. She was black; I hesitate to mention race, because I think early childbirth is a socioeconomic thing, but it's apropos: I will admit to the problem of a white guy (me) having trouble guessing black people's age, but she definitely wasn't 60+.

So, something like:

12: lady has kid
24: lady has grandkid (kid 12)
36: lady has great grandkid (kid 24, grandkid 12)
48: lady has great great grandkid (kid 36, grandkid 24, great grandkid 12)

It's not unheard of at all.
posted by oxonium at 9:48 PM on May 12, 2006

The notion that smoking intensely during pregnancy makes one akin to the anti-christ drives me nuts. Yes, it is another strain on the pregnant mother's system, and it should be avoided if at all possible. However, it's not like it's a guarantee you're going to have a mutant child. I hate to bust out one of those old chestnuts, but I'm the child of a smoker. A heavy smoker, who did nothing to change her ways during pregnancy. The result: I was born a week or so late (8.5 lbs), and have suffered no ill effects. I'm a smoker myself (due to stupidity, but I waited until I was almost 18 before I dabbled), but I am also blessed with a near-bullet-proof immune system.

I'm not encouraging mothers-to-be to take-up / continue smoking, or to not quit. (I'd love to, but it just isn't happening considering my current job.) But seriously, all this high-horse nonsense about "smoking pregnant women condemning their unborn children" is horseshit. There are enough other completely unrelated reasons you could have a "messed up" child; smoking isn't the sole cause of this.

/rant
posted by Dark Messiah at 11:44 PM on May 12, 2006

Charged with rape... Wow it sure does rock being a male.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:21 AM on May 13, 2006

well, i can understand an investigation into the boy. there is a tremendous difference between a persons development, physical and mental, between the ages of 11 and 15.
posted by quarsan at 12:34 AM on May 13, 2006

Sounds like a perfect candidate for the new anti-abortion pill
posted by jaded at 3:59 AM on May 13, 2006