Letter To A Nut

June 10, 2006 2:14 PM

LET'S DO THIS. Burning the midnight oil typing out a letter best left unsent—who hasn't done that, right? Only, I think Henry Rollins might be the type to go ahead and send this letter anyway. (.swf)
posted by emelenjr (42 comments total)

Wow, two an coulter threads in a row. This one is kinda cool because it has Henry Rollins in it, though.

But yeah, giving her attention is exactly what she craves.
posted by delmoi at 2:18 PM on June 10, 2006

SO this asshole foaming at the mouth suits you fine?

I called it in the other thread.

You KNOW it's TRUE.
posted by HTuttle at 2:24 PM on June 10, 2006

I wanna like Hank, but ever since Beavis and Butthead did "Liar" I just can't take him seriously.
posted by bardic at 2:50 PM on June 10, 2006

i'll eventually get to enjoy the whole thing up.
next time someone tell them about proper preloading in flash.
posted by zenzizi at 2:55 PM on June 10, 2006

The .swf link is pretty awful. IFC Uncut On Demand has a better version of it.
posted by thanotopsis at 3:00 PM on June 10, 2006

What the hell is that on the back of his head?

Oh, and this guy really hates Ann Coulter. I mean, I dislike her somewhat. But come on. Just turn the TV off when she's talking.

Only right wing crazies respect what she has to say anyway.
posted by Deathalicious at 3:03 PM on June 10, 2006

"What the hell is that on the back of his head?"

Black Flag tattoo, you silly goose.


posted by 2sheets at 3:06 PM on June 10, 2006

Henry Rollins: The WeeklyWorld news for Woodstock '94.
Oh yeah, he loves his plycostamus

. . . paging jello biafra

"mr. herman you have a telephone call."
posted by isopraxis at 3:07 PM on June 10, 2006

This clip is funny. Mary Matalin defends Coulter and Imus pulls a Godwin.
posted by bardic at 3:10 PM on June 10, 2006

"but mostly Ann, you will just shut the fuck up."

Every time i think i've reached the limits of my respect for Henry Rollins, he does something that raises the bar.

"...a Northeastern hickoid pro-wrestler NASCAR type with a degree from Cornell."

Classic.
posted by quin at 3:20 PM on June 10, 2006

You know, I despise Ann Coulter as much as the next person with any respect for reasoned political discourse, but it really annoys me to no end when folks who also despise her formulate rants that consist of nothing but sexual degrading and humiliating one-liners. It's particularly unctious when it's produced by someone who is supposedly coming from a liberal point of view, a political preference that supposedly (although I know not always!) frowns upon the whole idea that women should be seen and not heard, even if their opinions are obnoxious.

Of course I should know better than to expect more from Henry Rollins, as much as it hurts to say so, coming from a hanging on to her twenty-somethings girl who grew up in Southern California, had a wild crush on Henry Rollins in her youth and still kinda likes Black Flag.

Man. You know you're a humorless feminist when you start defending Ann Coulter's right to spew her hateful drivel without being attacked via sexual objectification.

FWIW, I think Ann Coulter's rotten black heart would have probably soared like a hawk if she'd listened to a little Sabbath growing up.
posted by pazazygeek at 3:29 PM on June 10, 2006

Can we stop talking about her for forever now?
posted by 517 at 3:44 PM on June 10, 2006

Man. You know you're a humorless feminist when you start defending Ann Coulter's right to spew her hateful drivel without being attacked via sexual objectification.

While I appreciate your attempt to raise the discourse, I think you're pointing to the crux of the situation right there. If she's free to spout the utterly frightening crap that she does, we're free to talk about her private parts demeaningly.

Honestly, I put her right up there with 2LiveCrew as an example of why defending free speech is always going to sting like hell.

(and this flash movie needs a loading movie, bad)
posted by lumpenprole at 3:49 PM on June 10, 2006

Some people are inclined to believe Ann Coulter at face value. I have a hard time understanding how calling her a moron in public can be a bad thing. The cowlike masses need to know that someone intelligent out there sees her as a demonspawn crackerjackass or they'll just swallow her bullshit.
posted by scarabic at 4:13 PM on June 10, 2006

I like Henry Rollins. This wasn't that funny, but I feel "Ya fuckin' psycho.." saved it.
posted by fire&wings at 4:39 PM on June 10, 2006

Rollins is just taking Coulter and the Right's own twisted view of marriage and relations between men and women to it's twisted and misogynistic conclusion.

Hilarious.

Weirdly amusing to see the Rollins looking old, and kinda crotchety as well...
posted by stenseng at 5:18 PM on June 10, 2006

a generation of vipers ... toothless vipers, at that
posted by pyramid termite at 6:16 PM on June 10, 2006 [1 favorite]

When Coulter finds this video, she'll feel the same sort of excitement she felt years ago before men stopped touching her. She craves this sort of attention. Why the fuck do people not realise this? WHY THE FUCK DO WE KEEP GIVING IT TO HER? God. If everyone could just ignore the attention seeking bitch we'd be rid of her bullshit for ever.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:46 PM on June 10, 2006

FEI, this rant - and many others like it - can be seen on Henry's show on IFC every week, along with some interesting interviews and musical guests.
posted by Alwin at 8:17 PM on June 10, 2006

He's become quite handsome with age.

Boring, too.
posted by poweredbybeard at 8:19 PM on June 10, 2006

things like this are why Henry Rollins is, still, after all these years, one of the only people i consider a personal hero.
posted by ab3 at 8:24 PM on June 10, 2006

Shhh, we do not discuss or look at the Nna Retlouc, heck, I don't even dare say her name anymore for fear that she'll appear and eat me alive only to puke/purge me up a few minutes later (can't have those nasty calories, ya know?) and I don't wanna live out eternity as Retlouc puke, that would be sad.

And Henry Rollins annoys the hell out of me.
posted by fenriq at 8:54 PM on June 10, 2006

I used to like Henry Rollins until I read his books of poetry.

Rollins' spoken word was funny but anybody who could take him seriously after reading his poetry books has lost his mind. I cannot admire a man who without a hint of shame wrote and published that kind of dreck.

But Anne Coulter deserves what she gets. That said, I have a feeling she doesn't mind being classified as an ultra-conservative joke while she makes a lot of money and earns more fame that she really deserves.

Actually Henry and Anne are the perfect couple.
posted by Deep Dish at 9:10 PM on June 10, 2006

Y'know, I was thinking the other day that Hunter S. Thompson, when he realised it was time to give it all up, should have stuck it out a few more months. He should have published an open letter saying he'd seen the light now, he'd been wrong about everything, Nixon was actually a jim-dandy President, and Bush II rocked too.

He should have done interviews, maybe written another little book, done whatever it took to get himself invited to the White House for a photo-op with the President.

Then he should have leapt upon Dubya with a plastic knife and stabbed 'til the Secret Service bullets tore him apart.

But then I realised that there was no way this would have worked, because Thompson's body was utterly ruined by a life of glorious depravity. Dubya ceased his pursuit of such entertainments some time ago, and since then has done nothing but exercise.

So there'd be no contest. Bush would have batted Hunter's knife away with a laugh, then snapped his opponent's body like a twig.

But.

Henry Rollins.

Henry's lost a lot of his younger bulk and now reminds me of Richard Dean Anderson, but a significant amount of The Neck is still there.

Rollins could definitely take Dubya.

Let's make it happen.
posted by dansdata at 9:19 PM on June 10, 2006

Man. You know you're a humorless feminist when you start defending Ann Coulter's right to spew her hateful drivel without being attacked via sexual objectification.


I don't know. Coulter is a sociopathic skank who used four 911 widows (who supported Kerry) to get a million dollars worth of free publicity for her new book. Hank is using her to promote himself and have a little fun. Seems fair to me. Besides let's face it, what Coulter desperately needs is a sensitive liberal man who can make her cry. Yeah weird, right? Byt what are you going to do about the many manifestations of arrested psycho-sexual pathology and maladaptive sado-masochism.

Hank and Black Flag said it quite poetically in a wonderful meth and LSD fueled composition called simply Slip It In:

Say you don't want it. Ohh.
Say you don't want it. oohh
Say you don't want it. ahhh...
Say you don't want it. argh...

Say you don't want it. mmmmMMMmMmm....

and then you...

Slip it it!!

Yeeooooooww!!! WOOOHOOO!! Yeahh!!!

Slip! It! In!




posted by Skygazer at 9:24 PM on June 10, 2006

That rant was so weak. Forget that it was about wanting to make her his submissive domestic fuck slave, it's completely artless. It's the rant of an 8 year old. I thought Rollins was supposed to be smart. That's all he can come up with? Weak!
posted by generic230 at 9:46 PM on June 10, 2006

This is just sad.
posted by homunculus at 10:21 PM on June 10, 2006

Rollins has never pretended to be smart. In fact he's said straight out that the only thing he has going for him is dogged persistence and an insane work ethic. And it's never been about "art". Rollins has flaunted his artlessness as a badge of honor and still come up with a compelling voice. I mean Slip It In or Liar isn't exactly Yeats ya know...
posted by Skygazer at 10:21 PM on June 10, 2006

pazazygeek, nicely said!
posted by nickyskye at 11:05 PM on June 10, 2006

What pazazygeek said.
posted by Radio7 at 12:50 AM on June 11, 2006

Being from the UK I had never really heard of this Ann Coulter so I looked at her Wiki Page.

I presume that she is a joke figure (even on Fox). Am I right? After looking at a few of her quotes I cannot believe that anyone, anywhere takes her seriously. Its like she's trying to be PJ O'Rourke only coming off more like Hitler.

If there was someone like her in public life in the UK she would be in the BNP (Neo Nazis) and would be dismissed as a too-far-right-crazy. She wouldnt even be allowed anywhere near a newspaper column or tv. Hell, even the Daily Mail wouldn't give her air.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 1:30 AM on June 11, 2006

ClanvidHorse -- How did you manage to say exactly what I was going to say?
posted by catchmurray at 2:48 AM on June 11, 2006

ClanvidHorse - her newest hardcover is #1 on the Amazon Top-Selling book list.

I need a hug.
posted by empyrean at 3:38 AM on June 11, 2006

Homestar Runner, please remix this as an email from Strong Bad. Please?
posted by steef at 5:53 AM on June 11, 2006

<3 you, Henry Rollins. :)
posted by Doorstop at 10:52 AM on June 11, 2006

I'm guessing that Hank was just trying to let Ann sort of fulfill her view of a woman's place in the home, but yeah, he could havce sold it better. It also sort of freaks me out that every male liberal "voice" has to slip into sexual fantasies about her whenever they mention her. It just always comes off as lecherous and undermines their otherwise well-intentioned points.

When the right was so desperate to get rid of Cindy Sheehan, they attacked her day and night, making her a celebrity with volume equal to the president's. It wasn;t until they stopped mentioning her that they were able to sioence her. Likewise, we need to spend our rants on actual issues. The more we attack Ann Coulter the woman, the more power we give her. Go after the issues, and leave the psycho out of it.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:36 PM on June 11, 2006

I see your view Navelgazer and I think you and the others who expressed this are probably right, but I don't know if it's analogus to compare the two women. On one side you have an emotionally wounded mom trying to deal with her grief over a criminally incompetent war that took her son's life and on the other you have a cynical, self-serving, sociopathic, manipulative, publicity-hound who would have her mother thrown in Gitmo if it meant selling a couple more books.

Anyhow, as someone once said to me and it's proven worthwhile knowledge many times. Don't worry so much about evil assholes, as in the end they have to live with themselves and that's punishment enough.
posted by Skygazer at 2:14 PM on June 11, 2006

Or at least worry about the evil assholes with actual power. It's not like there's a shortage on.
posted by arto at 5:10 PM on June 11, 2006

Seriously, where do you get exposed to Ann Coulter? I have never encountered her outside of Internet reactions to her.

Totally straight: What radio shows or cable TV programs that I don't get does she inhabit? Who is this figment, and what compels you to recognize her or her shade?
posted by gum at 9:49 PM on June 11, 2006

For some reason, the only time I laughed was when his spellchecker underlined the word Caddyshack.

And ClanvidHorse - too right. It'd be fun if she did a speaking tour of the UK. We could probably lock her up on charges of incitement to racial hatred. She'd love that, though, I expect.

There was a fairly good piece on her in yesterday's Observer.
posted by jack_mo at 4:38 AM on June 12, 2006

Dear Mr and Mrs. Rollins:

Henry is such a smart boy, but he fails to apply himself.

Henry's Teacher.
posted by humboldt32 at 7:17 AM on June 12, 2006

Its not the spellchecker, thats the appropriate typographical treatmet for a movie title.
Spell checker had no problem with "hickoid".
posted by humboldt32 at 7:21 AM on June 12, 2006