A Teenage Guide to Self-Control

November 9, 2006 8:28 AM

At a certain age, young people get seemingly uncontrollable urges. But, in accordance with God's plan, these urges must be controlled.
posted by punkfloyd (27 comments total)

Holy crap, that's messed up!
posted by zerokey at 8:32 AM on November 9, 2006

dumb
posted by parmanparman at 8:34 AM on November 9, 2006

Could've been funnier.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:37 AM on November 9, 2006

It is an abumination in the eyes of God!
posted by sciurus at 8:38 AM on November 9, 2006

Coming soon: Hipster's Guide to Self-Control.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:43 AM on November 9, 2006

Scat
posted by taosbat at 8:49 AM on November 9, 2006

if only there were some more nasty comments and overall attitude, it'd smell of Sid Davis (recently posted of)
posted by Busithoth at 8:49 AM on November 9, 2006

Lame. This kind of thing was funny the first 10,000 times it was done, not any more.
posted by turducken at 8:50 AM on November 9, 2006

I'm a dumb hick. I found it hilarious.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 8:52 AM on November 9, 2006

I enjoy videos like this immensely, but when I read the post I immediately thought you were talking about how god cured gene of masturbation.

/shameless self link
posted by sourbrew at 8:59 AM on November 9, 2006

Speaking of clenching.
posted by dead_ at 9:24 AM on November 9, 2006

I'm too lazy to verify, but it sounds like portions of the narration are directly lifted from the Mormon guide to overcoming masturbation.
posted by Nelson at 9:27 AM on November 9, 2006

Narrator: "If you're a normal, healthy young man, you've probably had the urge now and again to make a fake informational video in a 1950's-style format. You've probably even got friends or family that like to make such videos about 'masturbation' or 'poop.' They probably think that making such videos is a 'hoot,' and that they're just giving the old gang a reason to laugh. What they don't know is... fake 1950's informational videos are from SATAN. Help your friends, and yourself: don't make these videos, and don't watch them when others do."
posted by koeselitz at 9:37 AM on November 9, 2006

Is there a cable channel less funny than Comedy Central? Even Boston Catholic Television gets more laughs out of me. Saturday Fucking Night Live reruns and Mind of Mencia? It would have been funnier if the link went to a clip from Triumph of the Will.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:56 AM on November 9, 2006

Mind of Mencia

The worst.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:07 AM on November 9, 2006

This is from TV Funhouse, the failed Robert Smigel SNL spinoff that was on Comedy Central six years ago. Keep in mind that this show never made it past the eighth episode.
posted by crashlanding at 10:14 AM on November 9, 2006

Is there a cable channel less funny than Comedy Central? . . .Saturday Fucking Night Live reruns and Mind of Mencia?

Had you actually turned on Comedy Central in the past five years, you'd know they no longer have the rights to SNL.

Also, anyone who doesn't find either the Daily Show, South Park, Colbert Report, or Drawn Together funny is seriously broken.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 10:15 AM on November 9, 2006

This sucks.

(Sorry. I just had an uncontrollable urge to shit on this thread.)
posted by Benny Andajetz at 10:37 AM on November 9, 2006

Idiotic. I want my three minutes back.
posted by ed at 11:05 AM on November 9, 2006

So who does have the rights to SNL?
posted by TrueVox at 11:06 AM on November 9, 2006

So who does have the rights to SNL?

Satan.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:10 AM on November 9, 2006

SNL seems like less of a right and more of an obligation these days.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:51 AM on November 9, 2006

Saturday Fucking Night Live reruns

I wish. All I ever see on is Mad Fucking TV.
posted by Citizen Premier at 12:32 PM on November 9, 2006

I should have listened to ed.
posted by savagecorp at 2:39 PM on November 9, 2006

Does Comedy Central still run MST3k?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 6:48 PM on November 9, 2006

Does Comedy Central still run MST3k?

No. But to make up for it, they don't show Benny Hill anymore either.
posted by thecaddy at 6:55 PM on November 9, 2006

Does Comedy Central still run MST3k?

They haven't run it since the show moved to the SciFi channel after about the 5th season - the only way to see the Comedy Central episodes is on DVD.
posted by concrete at 7:15 PM on November 9, 2006