How to Shower.

February 5, 2007 6:01 PM

How to shower. (myspace video)
posted by empath (44 comments total)

I know it's a little bit "Men are like this and women are like this, amirite?" but I still laughed a lot at it.
posted by empath at 6:02 PM on February 5, 2007

By Gene Simmons!?
posted by TravisJeffery at 6:10 PM on February 5, 2007

Hm, I didn't really like that at all. It's actually alot "Men are like this and women are like this, amirite?" That's all it is really. Plus, I was actually disgusted during the man showering. Blowing your nose in your hands and pissing in the shower? And how could anyone not stand on a bathmat? I had more in common with the woman showering. Apparently I'm not enough of a skeevy moron to shower like a man.
posted by bob sarabia at 6:24 PM on February 5, 2007

I guess I'm a "skeevy moron."
posted by wsg at 6:29 PM on February 5, 2007 [4 favorites]

Blowing your nose in your hands and pissing in the shower?

It's all pipes!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:42 PM on February 5, 2007

Just another skeevy moron chiming in.
posted by The White Hat at 6:42 PM on February 5, 2007

No serious offense intended to the "skeevy moron" demographic. Just don't ever use my shower.
posted by bob sarabia at 6:44 PM on February 5, 2007

Now, Scottish Spring! isn't full of creams or stripes or perfumes like a girly soap. No, Scottish Spring! has got sand and grit and broken glass to scrub the dirt and sins right off ya!
posted by Richard Daly at 6:44 PM on February 5, 2007

It's all pipes!

Actually, it's a series of tubes.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:45 PM on February 5, 2007

OMG, I'm a skeevy moron! I live in sinus valley, and the only way I survive is to irrigate my nose and blow it all out in the shower every morning.

I also do not own a bath mat (I just dry off in the shower).

*Just noticed I am wearing hiking boots at work.

/runs off to do something girly.
posted by figment of my conation at 6:45 PM on February 5, 2007

Seriously though, this is based on a text-only version of the same, no?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:48 PM on February 5, 2007

Oh I see. Is this from a Gene Simmons book? It was a meme a while ago, but I never saw it credited.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:51 PM on February 5, 2007

What's wrong with blowing your nose in the shower? Damn, when I have a cold it's the only thing that keeps me breathing!

A shower is to get you clean. Crap in your head is not clean. If you stand under a hot shower, it will loosen and you can blow it out and it goes down the drain. Then lots of soap. Voila.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 6:56 PM on February 5, 2007

There was a promise of breasts, but then nothing.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:57 PM on February 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

Damn, peeing is for skeevy morons? What's two levels past that?

Maybe it's YOU who shouldn't use MY shower.
posted by vito90 at 6:57 PM on February 5, 2007

Well, that was dumb. Two minutes of my life I won't get back, wasted on random "Men are dumb, women are flaky" bullshit.
posted by ChrisR at 6:58 PM on February 5, 2007

This woman urinates in the shower...draw your own conclusions.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:05 PM on February 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

Pah. I've seen Tubgirl. She does a damn sight more than PEE in the shower.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:23 PM on February 5, 2007

why don't they shower together, it's more fun and economical. stupid.
posted by wumpus at 7:30 PM on February 5, 2007

I liked it. I saw the text version last year. My husband is definitely a skeevy moron. Lots of snot blowing and gyrating of hips.

I don't use mold prevention spray post-shower. Now I feel guilty.
posted by LoriFLA at 7:38 PM on February 5, 2007

The shampoo mohawk was great. The rest, meh.
posted by kindall at 7:48 PM on February 5, 2007

(...Showering, schmowering..)

Today on Montel:
Kitchen Habits!
Boys stand over the sink to eat! They drink from the carton!
Girls prefer placemats! They use forks!
Wait until you see this shocking hidden video!

I wish I was nine years old again so all this would be new to me.
posted by Dizzy at 7:49 PM on February 5, 2007

Sometimes the only place you can really clear out yer nose is in the shower.

Its hard sometimes.
posted by rsanheim at 8:01 PM on February 5, 2007

I thought it was cute. Thanks!
posted by onlyconnect at 8:12 PM on February 5, 2007

the only thing in this video that i actually do is draw penis in mirror.
posted by pokermonk at 8:12 PM on February 5, 2007

I'd like to see an attempt at a correlation between people who aren't skeeved out just thinking of blowing noses and urinating (hey, it's a penis, you can aim into the drain hole) and those who wouldn't mind dressing their own dead animal for food/understand where the sterile styrofoam shrinkwrapped units of meat at the supermarket comes from.

Hey, ever swim in the sea/river/lakes? Hahahahah! Guess where we go wee! Mwahahaha!
posted by porpoise at 8:13 PM on February 5, 2007

why don't they shower together, it's more fun and economical.

Ugh. I differ with you there. There is nothing worse than sharing a shower, but to get into the details I'd have to explain about how men do this and women do that.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:13 PM on February 5, 2007

It got the pissing order all wrong. The first thing you do when you get in a warm shower is pee. Everybody knows that.
posted by bdun01 at 8:24 PM on February 5, 2007

piss first. blow nose second. who blows their nose on their hand? Plug a nostril and blow hard!!!! Switch and repeat.
posted by CCK at 8:39 PM on February 5, 2007

I can't stand this kind of humor--its Home Improvement. laughed my ass off though--I do it all but pee in the shower.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:44 PM on February 5, 2007

The only problem I've ever found when showering with someone else is when you enjoy different degrees of hot water. I'm a fan of scalding, meself.
posted by liquorice at 8:50 PM on February 5, 2007

It's true, we're so lame!
posted by furtive at 8:54 PM on February 5, 2007

I can't stand this kind of humor--its Home Improvement. I did not even crack a smile.
posted by mrnutty at 9:42 PM on February 5, 2007

^^What liquorice said. I had dated a girl that would end her shower with a blast of ice-cold. She said it had something to do with her pores. Not fun if you aren't expecting it.
posted by robot at 9:43 PM on February 5, 2007

As far as spam turned into videos you can't top ZeFrank.
posted by The Radish at 10:27 PM on February 5, 2007

I laughed. It reminded me fondly of my marriage, and reminded me why I'm so happy to no longer be married. I can piss and fart and blow my nose all I want and fuck the mold. Penises on the mirror tho? Never bothered drawing penises on my mirror. The soap mohawk too, I pretty much grew outta that one in junior high.

However, there were a couple things that I do that the lady was demonstrating. Like, I dry myself with towels big enough to choke large animals. I also use one of those squooshy things with lots of antibacterial liquid soap. Does that make me metrosexual or something?

Sharing the shower? The ex and I did that once. Never again. Not as fun in practice as one might think.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:43 PM on February 5, 2007

re: everyone against showering with another person, granted.

Except when the shower area has 2 (or more) shower heads on opposite walls.

=D

(!!!!)

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink and hot water's everywhere.
posted by porpoise at 10:53 PM on February 5, 2007

I'm split on the skeevy issue: while snot can be partially a mass of dead and living bacteria and could therefore be contagious urine is pretty much sterile (infections of the bladder and urinary tract notwithstanding). So, as long it is rinsed away and doesn't have a chance to become stagnant in the U-bend and decompose into ammonia I don't have much of a problem with it.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:15 AM on February 6, 2007

Skeevy morons could use a particular cloth to wipe down the shower area after use, therefore minimising the skeeve. I am of the opinion that there could be some non-linear flow in the mucus or urine out pouring.
Shower cubicles are splashed with a combination of skin particles, hair, soap and dirt. Wiping them down after use is always a good idea. Obviously, using a micro-fibre cloth.
The most disgusting shower cubicle I have ever seen in use did not belong to a bachelor boy living alone for 3 years (although his was a bit ripe), it belonged to a house inhabited by three women who used alot of 'product' (actually both the Colombian and that from Weleda). The shower cubicle was caked in a bizarre orange veneer.
posted by asok at 3:25 AM on February 6, 2007

I had dated a girl that would end her shower with a blast of ice-cold.

I dated a girl who did this. She also used a squeegee on the tiles after showering, like the chick in the video. When I brought up the fact that she probably exerted more effort over time than just washing the tiles, say, once a month, the look I got was colder than the shower.

Some of 'em just come crazy. That's all.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:59 AM on February 6, 2007

It reminded me fondly of my marriage, and reminded me why I'm so happy to no longer be married. I can piss and fart and blow my nose all I want and fuck the mold.

Dude, get the wife back!
posted by dreamsign at 4:05 AM on February 6, 2007

Is it sad that I do some (but not all) of the stuff from both halves of the video? I must be metrosexual! (Can a female be metrosexual?)

I had dated a girl that would end her shower with a blast of ice-cold. She said it had something to do with her pores. Not fun if you aren't expecting it.

Oh, but you have to be expecting it. Otherwise you miss the several seconds of psyching yourself up to do that terrible thing to yourself. (But it does help with the pores). The worst is the cold-water rinse for the hair, which really does make your hair shiny, but then requires careful maneuvering to keep the now ice cold hair from touching flesh before it can be encased in a towel.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:00 AM on February 6, 2007

I'm wondering how one doesn't pee in the shower. Hot water gives you the...urge. And wow, now I really have shared way too much information on the internets.
posted by liquorice at 8:53 AM on February 6, 2007

Not only is urine sterile, but it helps prevent athlete's foot. As long as you keep the water running and it all goes down the drain it's actually not a bad idea to pee in the shower.
posted by mullingitover at 10:23 AM on February 6, 2007