Anna Nicole Smith is Dead

February 8, 2007 12:53 PM

News Filter Anna Nicole Smith collapses and dies suddenly.
posted by gigbutt (429 comments total)

lulz, I can't believe you posted this. that's some balls man.
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:54 PM on February 8, 2007

(.)(.)
posted by bondcliff at 12:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [14 favorites]

Truly an American icon...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:56 PM on February 8, 2007

Why must the good die so young? Next it's going to be Paris. I can't take it!
posted by mullingitover at 12:56 PM on February 8, 2007

~This is going to be a great thread~
posted by Mister_A at 12:57 PM on February 8, 2007

huh. how about that.
posted by potch at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

•
posted by fandango_matt at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sureal. Whatever. Wouldn't be surprised it was a hit, she hangs out with and pisses off rich wackos.
posted by bhouston at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007

I have a feeling this is not the kind of help the TrimSpa lawyers were looking for.
posted by OmieWise at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [6 favorites]

Somebody had to post it.

Thankfully, it was not me.

All the same ... it's a pity.

Years ago, back when she was a Guess girl, always in black & white and looking too much like Marilyn Monroe, I had quite a crush. I'm sure I wasn't alone.

But people won't remember that ... too much tabloid-fodder between back then and now.
posted by grabbingsand at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by cell divide at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007 [100 favorites]

Every time you engage in celebrity gossip your soul shrinks.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:00 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

Jesus, what balls!
posted by keswick at 1:00 PM on February 8, 2007

I always thought that "hoodia gordonii" sounded kinda made-up.
posted by Afroblanco at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2007

I don't actually have a soul. ymmv.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2007

noooooooooooooooooooooo
posted by felix betachat at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2007

A.N.S.? Like we'd fucking know what that meant? I mean my condolences to her family but Jesus, man. This isn't US Weekly.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007

.

Sure, her life was a trainwreck, but I've always been strangely fascinated. I vote tragic, not tragicomedy.
posted by kimdog at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Has anyone made a GrimSpa joke yet?
posted by Keane at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

B(.)(.)BIES
posted by Balisong at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007

She couldn't stand being without her beloved, departed husband.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

in before
TRIMSPA BABY!!!
posted by cavalier at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

dances_with_sneetches writes "Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken."

This is funny as shit, in this particular case, and as an idea in general.
posted by OmieWise at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

I vote good riddance, personally.
posted by keswick at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

Someone near me said "Wow, her son and now this! I wonder what's going on." Someone else says "Drugs?" QED
posted by cavalier at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if she left a will.
posted by notyou at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

What a bizarre life that woman led. Who gets all the money now?
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

this has much better coverage.
posted by casconed at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

She always wanted to be Marilyn.

.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Flips open lawn chair. Opens beer. Puts popcorn in the microwave.
posted by ericb at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I dunno, ANS has had some problems but it's still too soon to call.
posted by Floydd at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I vote good riddance, personally. -- keswick

Buckaroo Banzai: Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
posted by cavalier at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum."

Think about that, or go back to Fark
posted by indiebass at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

I bet David Blaine could bring her back to life. His magic is real.
posted by billysumday at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

dances_with_sneetches : Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

Awesome.
posted by quin at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007

That dude had her killed over the inheritance thing!

I mean what else could it possibly be? Her lifestyle was so healthy.
posted by tkchrist at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007

Her life has been pretty shitty lately, a real tragedy. I mean her son died, then a weird custody dispute. I'm surprised, but not that surprised.
posted by delmoi at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

She was a looker back in the day.

This, soon to be corrected, headline is why I read the Washington Post: "Smith intubated and transported to hospital after falling unconscious at a Florida hospital."
posted by peeedro at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

OMFG. R.I.P., A.N.S. ROFL. CYA.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if Elton John will re-write the lyrics to "Candle in the Wind' again.
posted by psmealey at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007 [9 favorites]

I'm not sure why I feel like some respect should be shown to Anna Nicole in death, even though I would have (and probably did) make fun of her when she was alive, but there you go.
posted by amro at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

What a bizarre life that woman led. Who gets all the money now?

I guess that guy who claimed to be her baby daddy, if it turns out he was. Otherwise that lawyer guy who also claims to be her baby daddy.
posted by delmoi at 1:09 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by brundlefly at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Well at least her last years were spent fighting for her part of the inheritance.
posted by spock at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Probably a morbid issue to raise up, but can you imagine what the legal fuss over the inheritance is going to be now? According to the Wikipedia entry on her (which they've already updated- jeez, that was quick) her son's dead, her daughter's an infant who couldn't be a legal beneficiary, and her husband isn't legally married to her because they had an unlicensed ceremony in the Bahamas. And the guy who was suing her for the estate to begin with died last year.

So after all these years and all that nonsense, all the money might be held in escrow for a year-old kid. Which will probably go mostly toward therapy because sweet Christ, is this kid gonna grow up fucked up.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Say.... wasn't that astronaut lady out on bail?
posted by maryh at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

. I hope the silicon is handled with enviromental responsibility.
posted by buzzman at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

(•Y•)
posted by mazola at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm not sure why I feel like some respect should be shown to Anna Nicole in death

'Cause she's a human being? It's natural.
posted by brundlefly at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

And in heaven, a wrinkled J. Howard Marshall awaits reuniting with his blushing bride....
posted by william_boot at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Last week it was a horse. This week a cow. Go figure.
posted by malaprohibita at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I tell you, the neocons will stop at NOTHING to get the Libby trial off the front page!
posted by spock at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

RIP, bombshell.
posted by jonmc at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

If you take delight in someone else's misfortune, then soon enough someone else will take delight in yours.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

First Ol' Dirty, and now ANS.

Really, who is left for the children to look up to?
posted by ImJustRick at 1:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Otherwise that lawyer guy who also claims to be her baby daddy.

You mean, Howard Stern?
posted by Kibbutz at 1:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Huh.
posted by cortex at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

She died before I got a chance to find out what she was famous for.
posted by kozad at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

Say.... wasn't that astronaut lady out on bail?

Who? the AstroNaughty?
posted by micayetoca at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

If you take delight in someone else's misfortune, then soon enough someone else will take delight in yours.

This is not, on a practical, individual level, a general causal relationship.
posted by cortex at 1:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

Surely millions will line up, blubbering and wailing in mourning, to shuffle solemnly past her glass casket, on display in the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, and pay tribute to the corpse of this beloved icon, remembering all she has done for humanity.

What a tragic day in American history. Where oh where will we go from here?

On the bright side, the children can finally come out of hiding and once again play in the streets without fear of being snatched up by her mighty jaws and consumed whole.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2007

I thought this was about a bridge collapsing or something when I read the headline.
Then I clicked. Holy Shit! Like her life wasn't a made-for-TV movie enough already? Whoever owns the rights is going to make a killing (as 'twere).
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2007

O.J. did it.
posted by yeti at 1:18 PM on February 8, 2007

She was a human being, who suffered the worst tragedy anyone can, which is the loss of a child, and depending on the paternity of her infant was probably facing a long protracted custody fight.

Yes, her life was a trainwreck. And now she can never recover from it.
posted by konolia at 1:19 PM on February 8, 2007 [5 favorites]

For a moment I thought that it was Anne Nicol Gaylor that was dead. That would be sad.
posted by gurple at 1:20 PM on February 8, 2007

From the story I posted up the thread:

"The baby," he said, "is the one ray of hope. It's the one thing that's really keeping her going."

Apparently the baby didn't do his job.
posted by Kibbutz at 1:20 PM on February 8, 2007 [6 favorites]

'Cause she's a human being? It's natural.

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Polonium 210
posted by Flashman at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Just think: She was this close to curing cancer. Humanity's loss.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

News Filter A.N.S. Collapses and dies suddenly.

I take it you were in such a panicked, helter-skelter stampede to rush to your grotty keyboard to post this world-shattering breaking news that you couldn't possibly bother actually type out the extra 9 keystrokes to type the full name "Anna Nicole Smith" so your post makes the merest modicum of sense? Well, ok, it's 12 keystrokes with spaces.

And however many times you personally use the backspace key. I can't imagine typing with those protective mitts on, much less a straitjacket.
posted by loquacious at 1:22 PM on February 8, 2007

I always viewed her as a bit of a freak, but an interesting freak. The kind of person that Paris Hilton might aspire to being one day.
posted by quin at 1:22 PM on February 8, 2007

What about all the Iraqi supermodels who died today? How come no one mentions them?
posted by Cyrano at 1:23 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

This is malaprohibita live from metafilter.com, where the gallows humor has spilled over the dam and is rushing out of control throughout the entire site.
posted by malaprohibita at 1:24 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

poor thing.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:24 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

You must be a blast at parties.
posted by jonmc at 1:25 PM on February 8, 2007 [17 favorites]

Considering how much money she stood to gain from her deceased husband's estate, it would be foolish to rule out foul play.
posted by ColdChef at 1:26 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

The world will be a sadder, poorer place for her passing.

I just hope this doesn't happen to her.
posted by sfts2 at 1:27 PM on February 8, 2007

[I spelled out her name in the post, ANS is not a ready acronym]
posted by jessamyn at 1:30 PM on February 8, 2007

You must be a blast at parties.

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human. It seems extremely arbitrary. I mean, I understand that all humans have kind of an "original state" of respectability, but it's not like they can't lose that, and it's not like after they do, everyone has to pretend it's still there.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:31 PM on February 8, 2007

It's 'Nicole,' not 'Nichole,' jess.
posted by box at 1:33 PM on February 8, 2007

Jess, check the spelling on Nicole.
posted by ColdChef at 1:33 PM on February 8, 2007

So, who gets the baby? I suppose Howard K. Stern, her "boyfriend" and supposed-father of the baby. Wonder if Larry Birkhead will keep up his fight to challenge paternity....
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:34 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

(.) (.)
posted by WCityMike at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human.

People deserve a bare minimmum of respect until they give you a reason to do otherwise. And the worst thing Anna Nicole Smith did to any of us here was be annoying. This is a centerfold model we're talking about here, not Hitler. Should she be only spoken about in hushed, reverent tones? Of course not, but this is an obituary thread, a tiny shred of class might be nice.
posted by jonmc at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [10 favorites]

I will entertain the fantasy that, fed up with the limelight and constantly having to be in character, she faked death, as did her son, and they are now living together in blissful retirement in a small island in the pacific where she can catch up on the reading she had to pretend not to like in her past life.

I have a feeling that there will be lots of others who will also entertain this fantasy.
posted by Durhey at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human

You don't have to. It just makes you more human if you do. Feel free to become as unhuman as you like.
posted by digaman at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

i'm getting pretty damn frustrated ... i wish i'd never entered this death pool years ago

how many more damn celebrities are going to die before keith richards finally knocks off?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

The deleted post had it all wrong. Should have been:
( • Y • )
posted by spock at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human.

You're right. No one's forcing you to do a damn thing. I tend to respect the dead, as do many people. Sorry if I spat in your socks by mentioning it.
posted by brundlefly at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

"[A]ll the money might be held in escrow for a year-old kid."

So? I doubt the original old rich guy would mind, and anyway he's dead too.

"Which will probably go mostly toward therapy because sweet Christ, is this kid gonna grow up fucked up."

Maybe growing up a rich orphan will be better than being raised by Anna Nicole Smith; I doubt she'll have a tougher life than a girl growing up in a dump in New Dehli, even one that's not an orphan. Grow some perspective, O spoiled one.
posted by davy at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

It's going to be awkward for her in heaven when she meets up with my billions of potential children who died because of her.
posted by ColdChef at 1:38 PM on February 8, 2007 [5 favorites]

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

not unless all they found was two little mounds of silicon on the sidewalk
posted by pyramid termite at 1:39 PM on February 8, 2007

Life is much too hard for any one person to endure.

She just let go, and no one was holding on.
posted by four panels at 1:40 PM on February 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

I always felt sorry for her, she seemed so tragic and needy. Whatever comes after this life, I hope it brings her peace.
posted by malocchio at 1:41 PM on February 8, 2007

i never payed much attention to her , i mean i knew who she was and the story behind her. but i found this news very sad for some reason , maybe because she was so young and harmless.
posted by nola at 1:41 PM on February 8, 2007

This is malaprohibita live from metafilter.com, where the gallows humor has spilled over the dam and is rushing out of control throughout the entire site.

Remember the Great Snark Flood of ought-three, mal? Terrible, terrible, such a waste. Neck deep and eye high from here to the back of Projects! Writhing, bum-crawling snark in every hole! And it was even worse the next day. People took to eating their favorites and quickly moved on to limb-piracy! My own mother lost a leg and two jowls to a 50k-er with a slow-smoker and a shaker full of salt rub! And the slugs that came, raining down from the sky! Black skies and fumaroles in the kitchen and gelatin hats! Madness!

Quick! Put on something black and say something remorseful before the bitching-brigade outfits you with some fancy new backside plumbing!
posted by loquacious at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007 [5 favorites]

dances_with_sneetches writes "Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken."

The next time someone talks about a death as God's plan I'm so using this phrase.
posted by Mitheral at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007

It seems extremely arbitrary.

So do most principles, if you don't get them. Consider that mustering basic respect for someone's passing is something you can do even for someone for whom you hold little personal esteem; and that your ability to display that kind of generosity may reflexively affect the degree to which others muster respect for you.

Whether or not you give a damn about that sort of thing remains, as always, your call.
posted by cortex at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

She just let go, and no one was holding on.

This rings true. She wasn't close to her family, it seems. The only constant in her life seemed to be her lawyer/friend, Howard K. Stern. I'm not convinced he's the father of the baby; I always thought he said he was a favor to Anna Nicole because he loved her and wanted to protect her. I wonder what will happen now that she's gone.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:43 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Office productivity across the nation has ground to a standstill.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:44 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor woman.

.
posted by supercrayon at 1:46 PM on February 8, 2007

Farewell, TWANS.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:47 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, as a character she might have seemed repulsive, but watching her show I really felt an unexpected sympathy with both her and her son, who seemed like a really nice kid. Rest in peace.
posted by bukharin at 1:47 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

not unless all they found was two little mounds of silicon on the sidewalk

well, the mounds wouldn't've been that little...

too bad, too...like Pamela Anderson: before the plastic surgery abuse, they were both really, really pretty in the "girl next door" way that Hef always wanted his models to look...

sigh.
posted by I, Credulous at 1:48 PM on February 8, 2007

"I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human."

And that cotton ain't gonna pick itself!
posted by 2sheets at 1:49 PM on February 8, 2007 [8 favorites]

Good god! Look up Playboy June 1993 on eBay. Look what it's gone to in just a matter of 15 minutes. $150+ This just might be worth rewriting "Candle in the Wind".
posted by horseblind at 1:50 PM on February 8, 2007

Seconding jonmc.

And ColdChef, what are you talking about?

And I see I misspelled New Delhi. Would Gahndi mind?
posted by davy at 1:50 PM on February 8, 2007

Now who will buy Bobby Trendy's crappy funriture?
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:52 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I wouldn't want to be in St. Peter's shoes today.
posted by rob511 at 1:53 PM on February 8, 2007

So there you are, deeply fucked-up and in the middle of this life that's been trainwreck after trainwreck for as long as you can remember. And after the weirdest few years of all, maybe it's coming together a little bit. You get back into shape for your career, and that's going well. You get knocked up by (assuming it's Stern) this dude who seems to care about you, won't always let you get away with your bullshit, and has enough brains to be worth sticking around, *and* he sort-of marries you.

And then bam, there's your kid dead. And bam, people are arguing about who's your new kid's father. So, no, it's not really coming together after all and you were just a dumb blonde pair of tits for hoping that it might.

I imagine the grave might be a welcome rest.

Since it won't affect her any which way, I hope it was her diet stuff that killed her, so that we might be able to take the hemorrhagic-stroke-in-a-bottle industry out behind the shed and shoot it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:53 PM on February 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

.

Poor Anna. Say what you will about her, I honestly believe she was a sweet, goodhearted person. She definitely had her failings, but she did not deserve all the shit that people keep piling on her. This outcome makes sense, but it was the last thing I expected.
posted by yellowbinder at 1:54 PM on February 8, 2007

It's sad, but now we'll get the box set of her greatest recordings, the Modern Library editions of her classic novels, the somber re-cap at the Oscars of her storied film career, the elementary schools renamed in honor of her work on behalf of children, the endowments created to memorialize her contributions to science, the long lines at U.S. embassies worldwide as grief-stricken citizens sign condolence books, the heartrending service at the National Cathedral as our leaders pay tribute to her long years of service to our nation...

wait -- we'll get some of that, right? Will there at least be something on E! ?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:54 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, I always kind of respected her. She was sadly tragic---not born a genuis, but a fighter.

And in my version of her story, the old man to whom she attached himself was overlooked and taken for granted by his entitled scions. Anna Nicole shows up and breaks down a set-up that was horrible in its conventionality. Good for us.

Could I have coped with knowing Anna Nicole in real life? Probably not. But I'm sad to see her go.
posted by washburn at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

davy, please don't make me explain.
posted by ColdChef at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007

And ColdChef, what are you talking about?

I'm going to jump in and answer that one.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

http://annanicolesmithdies.com/

I love how cynical and angry the internet is.
posted by ninjew at 1:57 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Don't people deserve the utmost respect unless they give you a reason not to? If you don't think you "have to respect them just because they're human" you're just not a civilized person.
posted by snoktruix at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007

Yea I'm amazed at the general disrespectul attitude towards her I've seen on all the boards I've visited, not just this one...you'll pretty much see it everywhere. The surreal part about it for me is how vastly that contrasts against the death of some like lets say, Steve Erwin, who had a much more reverant farewell. (still the jokes were put in there...maybe the bulk of which he would've enjoyed to see from the "beyond" who knows)

Granted he wasn't tied up in legal battles most of his life, but still...

. rip
posted by samsara at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007

The world will be a sadder, poorer place for her passing.

I just hope this doesn't happen to her.

Or this.
posted by sparkzy at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

She spent a long time as a real wreck. Reminds me of some of my loved ones. Reminds me of myself.

I watched her show a couple times; it was amusing at first blush, but quickly became grim when I recognized the spiral it documented. I don't really feel all that much about her. Because she doesn't seem all that real to me, it's not much of a loss. But thinking about her teetering around, barely aware of herself, makes my heart break for a few people close to me, who've teetered and watched me teeter in turn.

So thanks, Anna Nicole Smith, for being a great counterexample. I'm sorry the people who knew you have to line up and wish you were alive; I hope they don't only remember you falling. I hope they at least wanted to help.
posted by breezeway at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.

Hey, Steve Ditko has a MeFi account! Who knew?
posted by Scoo at 1:59 PM on February 8, 2007

i bet this thread breaks 500. let me parlay that with the lakers over the pistons. any takers?
posted by phaedon at 2:01 PM on February 8, 2007

Too bad Pierce Marshall isn't around to see this.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:04 PM on February 8, 2007

600. 600!
posted by loquacious at 2:06 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

If you have to ask, you'll never know.
posted by motty at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

That's a sad ending.

Gotta say, sfts2, that photo of James Brown lying in repose, with a 'launch' button underneath.
I pushed it, but it didn't launch James Brown as I had hoped and it won't launch Anna Nicole Smith either, I'm afraid.
posted by alicesshoe at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'm not saying that I don't personally feel bad about people dying, or that I'd personally piss all over her funeral or anything. My mockery in these situations is a defense mechanism against my own massive and terrible fear of death.

I'm really just trying to play Devil's Advocate by questioning the assumption that you just give respect and reverence to anyone simply because they're "human", or because they died. In application, the only way to really get by in the world is to play along with everyone else's superegos. But in theory, I like to always question this behavior, especially because it can sometimes lead to a false sense of cultural superiority, and arbitrary preference of behavior.
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

I heard she choked to death trying to swallow that fucking annoying little dog.
posted by baphomet at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

.




.





.





.
posted by mds35 at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

The flame that burns twice as bright,
burns half as long
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

This is sad. I am a huge fan of her early work.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 2:08 PM on February 8, 2007

God damn Xenophobe. I got fucking depressed reading your post and imagining what that might feel like.

Well, she certainly had one hell of a ride through her 39 years.
posted by a3matrix at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007

The late night talk shows are going to have to walk a fine line, tonight. I can't imagine they can joke too much about it.
posted by brundlefly at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007

Hey, someone on ninjew's link ripped off dances-with-sneetches' bon mot. We have witnessed the birth of a meme today.

I'm beginning to think that the worst job in America today is Internet Bombshell. Even if Paris and Lindsey and the rest don't know it, they're the targets for all the boiling, misplaced rage of the dying empire.
posted by maryh at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nancy grace already suspects foul play.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2007

But please don't tread on dearest Anna
cuz she's not very tough,
Her boobs were made of silicone
but in the end that was not enough.
posted by hellbient at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

phaedon: I'll take the Pistons. You giving any points or straight up pickem?
posted by indiebass at 2:12 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, I always kind of respected her. She was sadly tragic---not born a genuis, but a fighter.

I agree. What a life she had.

.
posted by jokeefe at 2:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Certamen bikini-suicidus-disci mox coepit?
posted by tighttrousers at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum." Think about that, or go back to Fark.

Mu hunch is that few Farksters read Latin.
posted by ericb at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor Anna.
RIP
posted by gai at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

The weight of Fame is absolutely massive and those who have no support are often crushed by it. (See Norma Jeane Mortensen )

We tend to respect the dead because it is the one thing we all have in common. (See Antigone)

The people who die and how we react to their death truly define our time. (See Lady Diana)
Rest assured, somewhere in the future someone is memorizing February 8th 2007. Granted, they are probably backstage at a drag club.

And remember, a completely vapid and seemingly talentless broad with a great set of chew toys dies something like every 8 seconds in the world. They just aren't all posted to Metafilter.
posted by SinisterPurpose at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

Who doesn't suspect foul play? Like someone otherwise seemingly in reasonable health would just collapse and die like that? In a hotel room? How many times have we seen that, in fiction and reality?
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:15 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor woman. At the very beginning of her career, she seemed to show so much promise. But she was without a stable family and surrounded by people who cared more about reaping the benefits of hanging out with someone slightly famous and potentially very wealthy than her own welfare. And when she started to go under, it seemed like there just wasn't anyone there to throw her a rope.

And now there is a baby girl who will never know her mother. Whether, in the long run, that turns out to be a blessing in disguise is impossible to know. I like to think that maybe Anna Nicole would have gotten her shit together. Now she'll never have the chance.
posted by LeeJay at 2:15 PM on February 8, 2007

Who doesn't suspect foul play? Like someone otherwise seemingly in reasonable health would just collapse and die like that? In a hotel room? How many times have we seen that, in fiction and reality?

I just figured she OD'd
posted by bob sarabia at 2:19 PM on February 8, 2007

They'll obviously investigate for foul play. However, it's being reported that she had a private nurse with her at the casino hotel. So, as far as we now know, there appears to have been concerns with her health, if she was travelling with private medical care.
posted by ericb at 2:20 PM on February 8, 2007

Other possibilities: recent rapid weight loss combined with the possibility of detoxification, etc.
posted by ericb at 2:21 PM on February 8, 2007

Also -- heart failure ala Karen Carpenter?
posted by ericb at 2:21 PM on February 8, 2007

indiebass: ill give you lakers +3
posted by phaedon at 2:22 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm guessing suicide, myself. Post-natal despression, grief, stress. Any takers?
posted by jokeefe at 2:23 PM on February 8, 2007

"[Seminole Tribe Police Chief Charlie] Tiger also said a private female nurse first called the hotel for help at 1:39 p.m. Aid arrived within two minutes, he said. At 1:45 p.m., Tiger said, a bodyguard initiated CPR in the star's sixth-floor hotel room. She was rushed to the hospital shortly after 2 p.m.

Tiger said the cause of death would be determined by an autopsy conducted by the Broward Medical Examiner's Office."^*
posted by ericb at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2007

ericb: true that. And I don't know where I heard it first, but I've always tried to live my life that way ever since.

I did just have to say it because I knew this thread could turn into a huge snarkfest. It doesn't matter who it is, a little respect is all... you know? I'm glad to see some here; it's why I live life in the blue.
posted by indiebass at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Goodbye Anna Nicole
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to crawl by your self
While those around you stood
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they tried to find your brain
They set you on the treadmill
But they let you keep your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I never did
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Nakedness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Hefner created a reality star
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Anna had to be intubed

Goodbye Anna Nicole
From the young man who thinks you weren't a ho
Who sees you as something less than sexual
More than just our Anna Nicole
posted by Floydd at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.
posted by Fupped Duck at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

.

She enjoyed herself--no question. : >

(and i hope it wasn't an od)
posted by amberglow at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

If you believe in that kind of stuff -- and I don't, but bear with me -- it's kind of heartwarming that she'll be reunited with her dear, departed husband, who's tooling around Heaven in a winged wheelchair and liver-spotted halo, cackling "I'm gonna get me some toninght!"
posted by solid-one-love at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if Elton John will re-write the lyrics to "Candle in the Wind' again.

.

Kanye West's 'Gold Digger' might be a better anthem (lyrics).
posted by vhsiv at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by chudder at 2:28 PM on February 8, 2007

"Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum."

Think about that, or go back to Fark"


It's "De mortuis nil nisi bonum." Go back to Fark.
(The snark, it just welled up from within!)

I was just talking with my girlfriend about how we were surprised that ANS wasn't dead. I mean, not necessarily mean-spirited, just, like, damn, you can't keep going that way without dropping.
posted by klangklangston at 2:31 PM on February 8, 2007

I'll bet on the same thing that got her son killed -- antidepressants + methadone. Nice and ironic.
posted by notmydesk at 2:31 PM on February 8, 2007

She died how she lived... on her back.

Seriously, though, such a shame how the machine chews these young girls up and spits out tattered husks. Hope she's found peace.
posted by Eideteker at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

Wanna step into my reality?
posted by 2sheets at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

I blame the octogenarian billionaire who launched her out of the strip club and into the world of trashy C-List fame. He basically bought himself a massive pair of gazongas as an end-of-life trophy. Obviously, she was completely unprepared to deal with having tens of millions of dollars at her disposal, purchased solely through hawking her body. I wonder if she would've been happier if she'd never fought the battle over the inheritance and had just taken a settlement that would've left her comfortably well-off for the remainder of her life.
posted by Midnight Creeper at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

Right, doesn't "nihil" mean "nothing"? As in "nihilism"?
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:35 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, the whole legal questions are pretty interesting. I didn't know that Howard Stern wasn't really married in a legal sense, which makes it all the more odd.

The suit to get some portion of Marshall's estate is still viable, and I think it's a winnable case, especially with Pierce Marshall himself out of the way (he was the major reason for it being blocked all this time, if I understand things, although his heirs will likely continue the fight). It sounds like at least one court ruled in her favor, and the question to be ultimately resolved is which court has precedence in the matter, which is why it went to the SCOTUS. Her only surviving child is too young to directly inherit the money, but looking at the example of Athina Roussel (Ari Onassis' granddaughter) who was I think 3 when her mom died, and stewards managed her estate until she was of age. There was never a question she would get every penny, just a waiting period for her to become the full legal heir.

I should imagine that Howard Stern would continue to pursue the inheritance suit to get a portion of Marshall's state, with the only actual beneficiary being Anna's daughter- unless Anna had a will stating otherwise, which is fairly likely given that her psuedo-husband was a lawyer. We'll find out soon enough if he was Anna's primary beneficiary. If the suit is eventually won, the daughter would stand to inherit tens or even hundreds million when she turned 18, and Howard would probably be in charge with managing that money as her most likely legal guardian - but then, with Anna dead, the paternity suit will take on incredible value, as the alleged biological father may see establishing paternity as the ticket to being the steward of the inheritance while the child waits to reach 18.

It's just odd to think that there's a nearly half-billion dollar potential inheritance, from an estate of a long-dead billionaire originally fought over by two now-dead people... and the only players left in the story are a guy who befriended Anna and a daughter by no blood or marital relation to the original estate who stands to receive it all.
posted by hincandenza at 2:38 PM on February 8, 2007

When asked in FHM magazine "What's the kinkiest sex you've ever had?", Smith replied:

"A ghost, hung like a horse, an fucking HUGE horse, would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas... I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem."

She is now with that ghost. Thus completes the Circle of Life.
posted by Arcaz Ino at 2:39 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

"A ghost, hung like a horse, an fucking HUGE horse, would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas... I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem."


And that ghost's name?

Milton Berle.
posted by maryh at 2:41 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Sigh. Internet.

Team Alpha: We're above you guys! Fuck famous people, they suck.
Team Beta: We're above you guys! We're humanists, love everyone.
Team Charlie: We're above you guys! We're moral superlatives!
posted by cavalier at 2:42 PM on February 8, 2007

Team Dodongo: We're above you guys! We're self-aware!
posted by cortex at 2:45 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

Obviously that's a sort of moral axiom that people have or don't like "killing people is bad". Either people have a right to respect and dignity and can lose it through their actions, or they do not, and must earn it through their actions. I think the world would be a much better place if we took the first approach.

It seems extremely arbitrary. I mean, I understand that all humans have kind of an "original state" of respectability, but it's not like they can't lose that, and it's not like after they do, everyone has to pretend it's still there.

Maybe so, but what did she ever do to you or anyone else that you feel you should be able to pass judgment on her? She minded her own business, and suffered because other people couldn't.

You're right. No one's forcing you to do a damn thing. I tend to respect the dead, as do many people. Sorry if I spat in your socks by mentioning it.
--brundlefly

I have to agree here as well, after all their families and the people who cared about them are still around. In her case, I think the loss of her son was enough reason not to make fun of her anymore, though.
posted by delmoi at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.

ugh.
posted by cazoo at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2007

She died suddenly? You mean she died unexpectedly. All living creatures die "suddenly."
posted by fleener at 2:48 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.

ugh.

Meh
posted by Big_B at 2:50 PM on February 8, 2007

Ah, she was the loveliest piece of white trash ever to be recycled.
Heh.
When she was told she'd someday meet her maker, she visited the Silicone Factory! Heh heh.
Hey, what's that you ask, Anna? Do I think you're hot? No, I find you rather cold!
Heheheh.
posted by racist dunk-tank clown at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

Probably just YouTube banter, but did anyone else see the comment in 2sheets YouTube link about the TrimSpa commercial containing a shot of the hotel she died in?

Kinda weird, if true...
posted by rollbiz at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

"She died how she lived... on her back."—Eideteker

We don't know that Eideteker, but she was always a top.

If I could have a retirement plan like hers using my body like that, then I'm sure many would jump at the opportunity. There's a brain involved there too, above all.
posted by alicesshoe at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

is the plural of penis penii?
posted by phaedon at 2:52 PM on February 8, 2007

Probably just YouTube banter, but did anyone else see the comment in 2sheets YouTube link about the TrimSpa commercial containing a shot of the hotel she died in?

Huh, yeah she was at the seminole hard rock just like in the ad. weird.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:57 PM on February 8, 2007

Peniim.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

Okay. The human brain contains these things called "mirror neurons" which fire both when we do something, and when we see someone else do something. As a result, we get what is known as "empathy," which is sort of like the feeling you get when you look in the mirror and realize how lonely you are, only instead of looking in the mirror, you're looking at Anna Nicole Smith on TV. And empathy, combined with self-respect, results in the respect for others about which you inquired.

Now this is the normal process by which humans respect each other, but like anything else, it can break down at any stage. Some people's mirror neurons don't fire normally so they have little empathy, e.g. autistic people. Other people don't have any self-respect, so their empathy doesn't give them respect for others, e.g. depressed people. And then there are people who consciously subvert this natural process to intentionally avoid respecting others, e.g. assholes.
posted by scottreynen at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007 [35 favorites]

http://annanicolesmithdies.com/

the internet moves at the speed of life.
posted by pruner at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, this time the Queen had BETTER come down to London for the funeral.
posted by PlusDistance at 3:00 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

And, suddenly, the world's collective IQ jumped four points.
posted by fenriq at 3:02 PM on February 8, 2007

"If I could have a retirement plan like hers using my body like that, then I'm sure many would jump at the opportunity."

So you're saying you'd like to be a whore, too? Allow me to introduce you my friend "Velvet Jones."
posted by keswick at 3:04 PM on February 8, 2007

How could she possibly have died?
posted by Arcaz Ino at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

klangklangston: come on! reaching WAAAY back into the recesses of whatever Latin I've learned I'd say I was mighty danged close! Besides, its the sentiment that counts, not pedantry.

etjabberwock: after checking, yes it does. As in "of the dead, [speak] nothing except good" For shizzle. I stand by my rudimentary Latin. Again, its what it means that's important
posted by indiebass at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

ytmnd
posted by phaedon at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

Fupped Duck: Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.

You know, I realize that's a typo, but... cannibalicious!
posted by malaprohibita at 3:08 PM on February 8, 2007

I don't understand all the disrespect, either. She doesn't seem to have ever hurt anyone. Besides, I don't even like blondes, nor Playboy models, but she was really hot, both back in the 90s and now. I'm not in mourning or anything, but I wish she wasn't dead. Simple.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:08 PM on February 8, 2007

Joakim: Anna is the ultimate American freeloader. It's amazing she lasted this long.
posted by phaedon at 3:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Actually, the President of the United States is the ultimate American freeloader, but he wears a flight suit to show off his family jewels rather than a slit-to-the-clit dress.
posted by digaman at 3:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

So you're saying you'd like to be a whore, too?

To very loosely paraphrase something that's commonly attributed to Winston Churchill: we all have it within oursleves to be whores, it really just comes down to the price at which we will allow ourselves to be bought.
posted by psmealey at 3:16 PM on February 8, 2007

This news is making me realize (belatedly) that i actually liked and admired her--i never much thought about her before--she did well for herself, and wasn't nasty or anything, and took what she had and ran with it--we could all learn a thing or 2 from her (and when i think of more current trashy, classless people like Britney and Kevin, Anna looks even better in comparison.)
posted by amberglow at 3:18 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

(or Donald Trump, or Paris Hilton, etc...)
posted by amberglow at 3:19 PM on February 8, 2007

It could all be public image bs, but I'll agree with amberglow. She seemed a bit misguided and dim, but something of a gentle soul. Rather more pitiable than despicable.
posted by psmealey at 3:23 PM on February 8, 2007

Yeah, she was both harder working (modelling isn't a walk in the park) and less annoying than a whole crop of celebrity freeloaders, Paris Hilton being a prime example. Now, there's someone whose death I would possibly even celebrate. Anna Nicole Smith never seemed to me to be that stupid, that useless, that ignorant, or that arrogant and with that sense of entitlement.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I wanted to check whether I was first with the meme. I did some searching around and found this on the Randi.org discussion board.

FLASH: Dr. Richard Eby passes on

I have just received an unconfirmed report that Dr. Richard Eby went to be with the Lord yesterday, December 26, 2002.

This will come as a great disappointment to many because of the belief that the rapture would occur while Eby was still alive, based on his own testimony.

to which a response came:

Stimpson J. Cat
Maybe he didn't really die. Maybe the rapture came yesterday, and he was the only one taken.


Personally I think God would have taken Ana Nicole Smith. She likes old men.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:26 PM on February 8, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith collapses

but how high did she bounce?
posted by quonsar at 3:28 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I liked her tv show.
posted by JanetLand at 3:31 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, envy for all she got or could have obtained, I can understand big envy...after all she didn't appear, as much as others, as deserving of such big compensations. Yet she is also an easy target for that envy...other people look like they deserve, but didn't deserve as much as any model . Counterintuitive, but true.

What still puzzles me is : why all this disdain for her ? Why even hate her ?

Envying her is so easy..but how does it becomes hate, what kind of suffering pushes people to cross from just dismissing her as a girl who got extremely lucky to an object of hate ? It's not like she TOOK the money, somebody GAVE it to her.
posted by elpapacito at 3:35 PM on February 8, 2007

Fupped Duck: Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.

Are you saying you want to be the meat in an Anna/Axel sandwich?

I don't think that's part of the TrimSpa plan.
posted by katillathehun at 3:38 PM on February 8, 2007

Envying her is so easy..but how does it becomes hate, what kind of suffering pushes people to cross from just dismissing her as a girl who got extremely lucky to an object of hate ? It's not like she TOOK the money, somebody GAVE it to her.

I think it has to do with what she did with it. Watching here on that TV show, looking at all the crap she spent money on. There is no way I could envy that.

Now you take all that money and make a treatment facility for coked out/ drunk ex-playmates, and that I would envy!
posted by Big_B at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2007

*There* go 26 grams I won't miss.
posted by disillusioned at 3:41 PM on February 8, 2007

i don't remember ever hearing anything racist, or antisemitic, or belittlling, or disparaging of others out of her mouth. The little I saw of her show was goofy and sweet, and while i still don't get that old man thing (she didn't strike me as a big goldigger, or venal, or anything)--if they were good to each other, why not?

It wasn't like fame brought her only sunshine and roses either--she was a tabloid mainstay and slammed continuously for years.
posted by amberglow at 3:44 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

The Anna Nicole Smith memorial tribute ribbon decal is now for sale on eBay. Current bid - $7.99
posted by pruner at 3:54 PM on February 8, 2007

Anna was always a bit of a sad soul. You could tell she was not really going to last to a ripe old age, and that itself is kind of tragic.

Sure she represented a lot of bad traits, but you know, mostly she was a reflection of a lot a bad traits in society. And in spite of being almost the definition of "victim of society", she also fought hard for herself, even if it didn't necessarily match all our definitions of good goals.

But the most tragic thing of all is all the hating, spite and vitriol that can happen against her. It is uncalled for, un-classy and makes them ten times poorer specimens then her or her tragic family.

RIP, Anna. Rot in hell for the rest of the lot of you ungenerous bastards.
posted by Bovine Love at 3:55 PM on February 8, 2007

I think the sad thing is not that her child will never really know her, but that her child will get to know her from a reality TV show.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 3:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

I didn't know her. I never watched her show. I experienced no interaction with her. There was no way she touched my life nor could I relate to her life. She was not human being in my experience. She was an occasional picture in a magazine.

By all accounts she lived pretty much how she wanted. She seemed to have a good time occasionally and have great wealth. She was over 30 when she died and had some semblance of an adult life.

Therefore I am not sad. Nor am I glad. Her death, like her life, means nothing to me. Nothing.

This is not inhuman. Nor is it not compassionate.

It means I have other people to worry about.

A little gallows humor, given the public nature of the person, is no more inhuman here than making a joke about the deaths of Abe Lincoln or Julius Caesar. Though there is no need to be cruel.
posted by tkchrist at 4:00 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."
On second thought, maybe not.
posted by Joe Invisible at 4:04 PM on February 8, 2007

In Memorium

I confess, the first thing that drew my attention to the late Anna Nicole Smith were her breasts. She had two of them and they were large. Not so large as to be comically huge, but big enough to make me go "Wow! I wonder if those are real."

Of course, it turns out they were not real. Anna must have had one hell of a plastic surgeon and Playboy must have had the Renoir of airbrush artists because, damn, if she didn't look good without her shirt on.

I was so impressed with Anna's breasts that I spent some of my first years on the Interweb looking for pictures (and, late, videos) of Anna without her shirt on. Heck, I would settle for a down blouse shot if one came up. And come up they did!

I rented Anna's movie, Skyscraper. I figured the movie, a lame action adventure, was really just an excuse to have an R rated film that featured her breasts. Sure enough, she was topless in enough of the movie for me to forget that she really wasn't much of an actress.

I also spent a lot of time watching her show. Not whole episodes. I was disappointed in the show not because of its quality (though that was low) but because her breasts were not featured nearly enough. I recognize that this was a basic cable show and, thus, she couldn't be topless, but I found myself wondering "what is the point?"

I still looked for opportunities to see Anna's breasts whenever I could, but the opportunities seemed to be few and far between. Occasionally, she would flash people, or a boob would pop out of what they were encased in, but those "oops" shots just didn't do it for me in quite the same way.

When her life really entered what we now recognize as its death spiral in the last year, I must admit, I became a little confused. For over a decade, she had primarily been a set of especially pleasing breasts to me. Somehow, she turned into somebody whose body I felt a little bad about ogling all the time. The massive exploitation of her equally massive breasts had blinded me to the person behind the bosom.

I recognize that my top heavy focus makes it seem like I may be mocking the late Ms. Smith, but, in fact, I see her life story as a great American tragedy. A tragedy in the classic sense. A tragedy where a woman gets everything she wants and it destroys her - and, in the process, might have destroyed her son. It might still destroy her daughter. The very thing that made her popular - her appearance - was one of the things that also made her scorned.

I find myself wondering what led Ms. Smith to decide, as a young woman, that the best way to success was through breast enhancement. Were the same factors that led her to surgery also the same factors that led her to be perceived as a golddigger? Did her pursuit of the American dream, of a wealthy life for her and her late son, lead her to make the choices she made? Did she find that her success just led to more pain - that money and fame and looks couldn't make her happy?

In fact, the only thing about Ms. Smith bigger than her breasts is now the overarching tragedy of her life.

Her image will live on. In fact, images of her breasts will live on and will continue making money for somebody. Maybe the money her breasts make her estate after death will, appropriately, provide sustance for her baby daughter for years to come.

Anyhow, Ms. Smith, in her own way, made my life a little better by making her surgical choice. I can't pretend that I knew much more about her than her cup size, but I hope that her passing wasn't too awful and that her daughter is well taken care of.

And that her daughter keeps her clothes on when the time comes.

Rest in peace.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:05 PM on February 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

Sad. She was pretty young to be dying.
posted by clockzero at 4:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if it was her heart from all the up-and-down weight stuff?

(and i guess she was a golddigger--did she really meet the old man while doing a lapdance for him?)
posted by amberglow at 4:08 PM on February 8, 2007

tkchrist: A little gallows humor, given the public nature of the person, is no more inhuman here than making a joke about the deaths of Abe Lincoln or Julius Caesar. Though there is no need to be cruel.

I think the point being made by the chiders is that people give more respect and . symbols in response to the deaths of world leaders with war crimes and countless gallons of blood on their hands, than they do someone who was unremarkable but not mean, cruel, or destructive. There are no deformed or maimed children hobbling around Southeast Asia because of Anna Nicole Smith, for example.
posted