Are upper lips the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain?

March 2, 2007 4:52 PM

Sorry lads - Wank Week is cancelled. Channel 4's planned series on masturbation, which would have come this month and which was to feature such illuminating documentaries as "I Can't Stop Wanking" and "Masturbation for Women" ([e-mail]/tester), as well as a portrait of the UK's first masturbate-a-thon, has been pulled as a result of the recent Big Brother controversy. Would-be viewers feel stiffed and wonder why 4 is being so hard on its viewers, who are now left to entertain themselves.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (22 comments total)

aaack... masterbation pun overdose!
posted by HuronBob at 4:55 PM on March 2, 2007

From TFA:
If you are writing a comment for pubiclation, please mark clearly "for pubelication".
posted by anthill at 4:57 PM on March 2, 2007

20 a day? My diet must be deficient.
posted by maxwelton at 5:05 PM on March 2, 2007

Things Wrong With This Post:

1) Wank Week...
2) ...cancelled...
3) ...because of racism on an unrelated show.
posted by DU at 5:05 PM on March 2, 2007

Puntastic,
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:10 PM on March 2, 2007

Channel 4 has been forced to stop and think after the farce that was the latest celebrity Big Brother. Which is a good thing.

The only decent program on Channel 4 is Grand Designs, that programme should have its own channel to be honest.
posted by fire&wings at 5:13 PM on March 2, 2007

Jade Goody is reason enough not to masturbate anyway. But her legacy? What a ball ache. Channel 4 has gone soft.
posted by armoured-ant at 5:18 PM on March 2, 2007

Well, that sure puts a new twist on tally-whacking.
posted by Balisong at 5:30 PM on March 2, 2007

What kind of wanker cancels a wanking event?
posted by SaintCynr at 5:32 PM on March 2, 2007

fire&wings, C4 does have the Simpsons, and Ugly Betty, and a pretty good news broadcast when I remember to watch it.
And Grand Designs, wow, yes indeed - that one the other night, when it ended I felt like standing up and giving them a standing ovation.

But 'masturbation week'?! Who gives a toss?
posted by Flashman at 5:38 PM on March 2, 2007

pepsi blueballs?
posted by pruner at 5:41 PM on March 2, 2007

These puns are starting to sound forced.
posted by Liquidwolf at 5:42 PM on March 2, 2007

Liquidwolf - These puns are starting to sound forced.

suck it.
posted by pruner at 5:43 PM on March 2, 2007

Among the entries in urbandictionary.com:
- applying the handbrake
- beef stroke-it-off
- wielding the flesh baton
- enjoying the charms of Lady Palm and her five daughters

But I think Wikisaurus wins:
- spilling Satan's eggnog
- firing the Surgeon General
- having a date with Mrs. Michigan
- stroking Gandalf's beard

O nan, these are good!
posted by rob511 at 6:56 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Han Solo. If you know what I mean. And I think that you do.
posted by biscotti at 7:08 PM on March 2, 2007

Maybe this is why.
(Cancelled, that is.)
posted by RoseyD at 7:11 PM on March 2, 2007

I wonder what Fonzie would say...
posted by miss lynnster at 7:22 PM on March 2, 2007

I'm gonna go ahead and celebrate it anyway.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:47 PM on March 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

What a bunch of wankers.
posted by Effigy2000 at 10:05 PM on March 2, 2007

Those Channel 4 guys are real self-starters.
posted by Phanx at 3:42 AM on March 3, 2007

Paul Rubens, apparently, was unavailable.
posted by psmealey at 5:15 AM on March 3, 2007

Channel 4 obviously couldn't give a toss for its viewers.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:29 PM on March 4, 2007