Where can I get smokes, lol
March 19, 2007 9:27 AM Subscribe
Civilization ends in 3... 2... 1.... Search the internet the Kevin Federline way.
It's the blinged out, rapping Bonzi Buddy.
posted by fire&wings at 9:32 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by fire&wings at 9:32 AM on March 19, 2007
Is the prize that he'll come over and impregnate the ladies and sodomize the men? Because that's not really a prize, ya know?
The only prize I want is K-Fed's shrunken head for my display case. And maybe, eventually, I'd make his skull into a bong.
posted by fenriq at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007
The only prize I want is K-Fed's shrunken head for my display case. And maybe, eventually, I'd make his skull into a bong.
posted by fenriq at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007
"Every time you search the web you stand a chance of winning a prize from Kevin Federline..."
Buuut, dang! I don't waaaant another baby daddy!
posted by miss lynnster at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Buuut, dang! I don't waaaant another baby daddy!
posted by miss lynnster at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I don't get the business plan.
Also, I've never really looked at Kevin Federline before. Now I want to puke out my eyeballs.
posted by DU at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007
Also, I've never really looked at Kevin Federline before. Now I want to puke out my eyeballs.
posted by DU at 9:34 AM on March 19, 2007
Only a loser like Nick Stokes would need a search engine to find stuff online.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:41 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:41 AM on March 19, 2007
1st prize: Dinner with K-Fed.
2nd prize: Dinner with K-Fed, every night for a week!
*rim shot*
Is this thing on?
posted by Joe Invisible at 9:42 AM on March 19, 2007 [3 favorites]
2nd prize: Dinner with K-Fed, every night for a week!
*rim shot*
Is this thing on?
posted by Joe Invisible at 9:42 AM on March 19, 2007 [3 favorites]
I slapped my knee I was so amused, Joe Invis.
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:43 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:43 AM on March 19, 2007
Weird, every time I start typing something in, it autosuggests VD symptoms and Free Clinics.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:45 AM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:45 AM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I guess I need to try BonoSearch™.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:48 AM on March 19, 2007 [12 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:48 AM on March 19, 2007 [12 favorites]
Blazecock: Bono ain't got no search engine. But maybe the diceman can help you out.
posted by boo_radley at 9:51 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by boo_radley at 9:51 AM on March 19, 2007
But hidden in the dank is the one we all want to win.
posted by parmanparman at 9:56 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by parmanparman at 9:56 AM on March 19, 2007
I think I'll just search with Google and purchase Wilco's new album. Wilco gets my money, I don't get a prize from K-Fed. Everyone wins.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 10:00 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 10:00 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I hope he's better at finding search results than he is at finding a mate or a career.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:08 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:08 AM on March 19, 2007
Business plan: looks like viral marketing from Prodege (just clip out the subdomain). Looks like a small search startup.
posted by rolypolyman at 10:10 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by rolypolyman at 10:10 AM on March 19, 2007
Parma...I wouldn't install the toolbar, but I have to admit, I could be pretty happy about winning Meatloaf backstage passes. It's a failing, I realize, but I lurve me some Meatloaf.
As to Kfed...has he always been that fugly? I mean, that is not an attractive boy.
posted by dejah420 at 10:10 AM on March 19, 2007
As to Kfed...has he always been that fugly? I mean, that is not an attractive boy.
posted by dejah420 at 10:10 AM on March 19, 2007
Yeah, there's something about Federline that kept me trying to lock the doors on my cubicle.
posted by boo_radley at 10:14 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by boo_radley at 10:14 AM on March 19, 2007
If you win the birthday party with Fed-ex you'll get meatloaf anyway.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:23 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:23 AM on March 19, 2007
This ranks right up there in my "Things I'm told to tell people but will never tell because no one gives a shit" list with the fact that cevical cancer is caused by certain types of a common virus. I tried telling my dad about the latter. He didn't seem to care.
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:26 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:26 AM on March 19, 2007
Dinner with a shirtless K-Fed is an extra $150.
If you want him to keep it on, that's $500.
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:29 AM on March 19, 2007
If you want him to keep it on, that's $500.
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:29 AM on March 19, 2007
I installed the toolbar, faxed him my VISA info (the good one, like for emergencies) and gave Kev all your addresses.
Was that wrong?
Advise, please.
posted by Dizzy at 10:37 AM on March 19, 2007
Was that wrong?
Advise, please.
posted by Dizzy at 10:37 AM on March 19, 2007
This is amazing. I can't even pretend to hate K-Fed anymore.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:39 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by roll truck roll at 10:39 AM on March 19, 2007
What's the shelf life of a celebrity who used to be famous for being married to someone who used to be famous?
posted by psmealey at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by psmealey at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2007
Is there something wrong with me that the first thing I noticed is that in the photo, K-Fed is still wearing his wedding ring? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to hypnotherapy to forget I ever saw this.
posted by Heminator at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Heminator at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I kinda want to try the search, just for snicks, but I'm really put off by the idea of winning something. Hepatitis is one of the prizes, right?
posted by maryh at 10:53 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by maryh at 10:53 AM on March 19, 2007
The contest is limited to 13 years and older...so not only would one need to put up with KFed for an entire night...but it's also an all ages party! Can you say "F-U-N?"
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:00 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:00 AM on March 19, 2007
Who's Kevin Federline?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:03 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:03 AM on March 19, 2007
Who's Kevin Federline?
My question exactly. Do tell.
posted by fish tick at 11:08 AM on March 19, 2007
My question exactly. Do tell.
posted by fish tick at 11:08 AM on March 19, 2007
Is this something I would've had to have married one of my backup dancers to understand?
posted by hermitosis at 11:09 AM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by hermitosis at 11:09 AM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
If you don't know who he is, then just google federline him using his own search engine. Not all at once though, we don't want to cross the streams.
posted by hermitosis at 11:12 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by hermitosis at 11:12 AM on March 19, 2007
ZenMasterThis---
Kevin Federline played Jabba in the Turkish "Star Wars".
posted by Dizzy at 11:13 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Kevin Federline played Jabba in the Turkish "Star Wars".
posted by Dizzy at 11:13 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
What's the shelf life of a celebrity who used to be famous for being married to someone who used to be famous?
Seems to be working pretty well for Hillary.
posted by googly at 11:17 AM on March 19, 2007 [5 favorites]
Seems to be working pretty well for Hillary.
posted by googly at 11:17 AM on March 19, 2007 [5 favorites]
I just searched for "piece of shit white trash" over and over again.
Strangely he was not one of the results.
I sent them an email, notifying them of the bug.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:20 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Strangely he was not one of the results.
I sent them an email, notifying them of the bug.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:20 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
This reminds of the Colbert joke cracks, when he does an interview with Kristof from the NYT:
"I take a student and a teacher, that's right."
"And they get first prize is a trip to Africa."
"That's right."
"Ok, what's second prize... two trips?"
ba-rum.. psshh!
"Thank you, Jimmy!"
posted by phaedon at 11:24 AM on March 19, 2007
"I take a student and a teacher, that's right."
"And they get first prize is a trip to Africa."
"That's right."
"Ok, what's second prize... two trips?"
ba-rum.. psshh!
"Thank you, Jimmy!"
posted by phaedon at 11:24 AM on March 19, 2007
Metafilter: bringing K-Fed jokes to the masses since 2006.
posted by andreaazure at 11:56 AM on March 19, 2007
posted by andreaazure at 11:56 AM on March 19, 2007
The reality show that's sure to follow is going to be fucking awesome.
In this episode of Meet the Federlines, Kevin's child welfare worker smells marijuana and threatens to take the children. Nanny is seen sneaking diamond jewelry into her panties. Brittany drains vodka bottle, falls.
posted by The Straightener at 12:12 PM on March 19, 2007
In this episode of Meet the Federlines, Kevin's child welfare worker smells marijuana and threatens to take the children. Nanny is seen sneaking diamond jewelry into her panties. Brittany drains vodka bottle, falls.
posted by The Straightener at 12:12 PM on March 19, 2007
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that a search engine, that randomly prompts for personal info, might be a target? I suspect it's still not that hard to create a homepage indexed by yahoo, that spawns a pop-up when first-clicked...
posted by nomisxid at 12:12 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by nomisxid at 12:12 PM on March 19, 2007
What's the shelf life of a celebrity who used to be famous for being married to someone who used to be famous?
posted by psmealey
'parently about as long as a Twinkie, damn. I thought this guy would've been swept under the rug by now.
Heminator, I noticed that, too - post the name of your therapist, 'kay, I think I might need to make an appointment.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:19 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by psmealey
'parently about as long as a Twinkie, damn. I thought this guy would've been swept under the rug by now.
Heminator, I noticed that, too - post the name of your therapist, 'kay, I think I might need to make an appointment.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:19 PM on March 19, 2007
Quiiit it, you guuyyys! I looovve him, y'aaaalll! Daaaannnggg!
::munches Cheetos::
posted by miss lynnster at 12:31 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
::munches Cheetos::
posted by miss lynnster at 12:31 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
Paging Mr. Caddis...
So can I please, PLEASE use my tagline for this FPP?
Pretty please?
posted by dbiedny at 1:34 PM on March 19, 2007
So can I please, PLEASE use my tagline for this FPP?
Pretty please?
posted by dbiedny at 1:34 PM on March 19, 2007
by the way, those of you who don't appreciate the infinite potential of kevin by this point are complete morons (see: tyra banks). this guy has the world on a string, and is sitting on a rainbow.
posted by phaedon at 1:39 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by phaedon at 1:39 PM on March 19, 2007
All the cool kids search the internet the MrMoonPie way.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:53 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:53 PM on March 19, 2007
If I could win those tickets I would just die. I'm going to go and pray in front of my K-Fed shrine now.
posted by nola at 2:18 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by nola at 2:18 PM on March 19, 2007
Hey everybody, look! It's searching with Miss Lynnster!" Woo hooooo! Daaang!
::resumes Cheeto munching::
posted by miss lynnster at 2:21 PM on March 19, 2007
::resumes Cheeto munching::
posted by miss lynnster at 2:21 PM on March 19, 2007
I prefer aimlessly groping in the dark.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:09 PM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:09 PM on March 19, 2007 [2 favorites]
I see this prodege thing will be showing up again and again prodege.com
posted by Megafly at 3:31 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by Megafly at 3:31 PM on March 19, 2007
http://searchwithkevin.prodege.com/?t=w&p=1&q=federline+pathetic
posted by trigfunctions at 4:02 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by trigfunctions at 4:02 PM on March 19, 2007
Wow. The picture on the right side of the banner for the similar Andrew Dice Clay site that boo_radley posted is like a parody of Andrew Dice Clay.
posted by Flunkie at 5:11 PM on March 19, 2007
posted by Flunkie at 5:11 PM on March 19, 2007
It looks like Federline's search engine hasn't been optimized not to hate him.
I had to do it
posted by tehloki at 11:30 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I had to do it
posted by tehloki at 11:30 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]
I really would have thought they'd have photoshopped out that wedding ring. And at least some of the acne (or boils or chancres or whatever). And then they could have added an apostrophe to 'Its that simple'.
Also, I have my suspicions about what the 'B' in 'B-Day Party Sweepstake' stands for. It could be 'birth' but I for one wouldn't take the risk.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 3:10 AM on March 20, 2007
Also, I have my suspicions about what the 'B' in 'B-Day Party Sweepstake' stands for. It could be 'birth' but I for one wouldn't take the risk.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 3:10 AM on March 20, 2007
Here's something new. Help Me Eat! The Steven Dorff search engine.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:02 PM on March 20, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 2:02 PM on March 20, 2007
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