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Teh Naked
March 19, 2007 11:07 AM   Subscribe

Are you in college and dreading the coming of finals? Is that first weekend in May filling you with silent dread? Need to unwind but aren't really into seeing another movie or getting loco with your mexican breathern? Do you miss those carefree days of summer camp? Wicked! May 5th is New England Intercollegiate Nudist Day! (nsfw) via
posted by Stynxno (45 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Huh. My college is invited.

I courteously decline.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:16 AM on March 19, 2007


Like college kids need an excuse to get naked.

(also, sometimes it seems to me that the people who trot out all the usual 'hurfdurf ugly naked people' comments whenever nudism comes up are kind of revealing their own insecurities. just saying.)
posted by jonmc at 11:19 AM on March 19, 2007


I apologize in advance -- I hate that I feel the need to do this, but oh well here goes.
Instead of getting naked, summer school english classes might not hurt.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:24 AM on March 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


Wrinkly old Q-tips looking for firm eye candy to accessorize their facilities - and take their breath(ern) away.

snipe disclaimer - I am a wrinkly old q-tip
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:37 AM on March 19, 2007


Heh. I recommend remedial summer courses for everything. Get naked and pass calculus II.
posted by metasonix at 11:39 AM on March 19, 2007


Hmm, I wonder if it's an extension of May 4th's No Pants Day
posted by Tenuki at 11:41 AM on March 19, 2007


Fortunately Global Warming has arrived just in time to make this possible. Otherwise nude + May 5th + New England = :(
posted by DU at 11:44 AM on March 19, 2007


(also, sometimes it seems to me that the people who trot out all the usual 'hurfdurf ugly naked people' comments whenever nudism comes up are kind of revealing their own insecurities. just saying.)

Or maybe revealing an inclination toward 'hurfdurf radical disconnect between pop-media notions of sexy naked people as entertainment imagery and the varied and less consistent imagery of actual Joe Average naked bodies' recognition.

Nudism is the perfect storm of disillusionment—the realization that in reality, a willfully naked person-on-the-street is going to look less like a supermodel than like your mom. Permit the disillusioned their embittered banter; it's hard to have the carpet pulled out from beneath adolescent fantasy like that.
posted by cortex at 11:47 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


... orrrr that it's just nice to have your clothes off.

And Stynxno, my finals are this fucking week. Shit.
posted by redteam at 11:51 AM on March 19, 2007


a willfully naked person-on-the-street is going to look less like a supermodel than like your mom..

How do you know how my mom looks like naked...?
posted by bluefrog at 11:51 AM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh honey, she's all over the internet. I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you... :(
posted by miss lynnster at 11:54 AM on March 19, 2007 [4 favorites]


If Mom were in a German shize video, she'd tell me, right?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:57 AM on March 19, 2007


Nudism is the perfect storm of disillusionment—the realization that in reality, a willfully naked person-on-the-street is going to look less like a supermodel than like your mom.

Dude, I'm a happy habitue of nude beaches. My experience was exactly the opposite. Most people look better naked than clothed, IMHO.
posted by jonmc at 11:57 AM on March 19, 2007


Hey! The nudist camp is 50% off if you're under 40! I'm under 40!

*doffs doggone restrictive clothing along with hangups about body image, wang proportions and so forth*
posted by Mister_A at 12:07 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


jonmc, that you can appreciate the average American nudist has nothing to do with the difference between the images of sexy/naked fed to 16-year-old consumers of pop culture and the appearance of the average American nude. They are entirely separate things.
posted by cortex at 12:12 PM on March 19, 2007


No alcohol.

This is either a really, really good rule or a really, really bad one.
posted by inconsequentialist at 12:13 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


cortex: I'm sure. But the people on MeFi are not a bunch of 16-year-olds. But whenever nudism comes up, we do get the usual 'why is it only ugly people are nudists?' type of comments. It's just something I noticed and I hazarded a theory as to why.
posted by jonmc at 12:17 PM on March 19, 2007


I think gravity+age= nudey surprise, whereas unconventional gravity+pudgy if young also= nudey surprise. I look okay naked... standing. I recently saw myself in a more horizontal nekkie orientation, and what was pleasantly curvaceous while suspended from a skeleton became quite a pudding. Like, $420 worth at least, being that I'm classy. When college kids start hitting the decks unbedecked, rather than dashing about at top speed (based on my collage nekkie expereinces, it's always running or dancing) I will come and prod and titter approvingly.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:18 PM on March 19, 2007


Sure, but your theory basically amounts to a hitched eyebrow and a rumbly "now who is the truly ugly one?"

I have to admit I'm more interested in the questions of why people get naked, why people don't get naked, and why either camp reacts to the other however they choose to. Pre-emptive self-evident counterarguments about insecurity don't feed that little beast very well, is all.

And a lot of mefites once were 16-year-olds. I would be willing to bet that a strong majority were, even. En garde!
posted by cortex at 12:22 PM on March 19, 2007


I am shocked! I tell you, shocked!

When I was in college, we got naked more often then once a year.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:24 PM on March 19, 2007


Hey! The nudist camp is 50% off if you're under 40! I'm under 40!

Is that age or waist size?
posted by bluefrog at 12:29 PM on March 19, 2007


I have to admit I'm more interested in the questions of why people get naked,

Probably a combo platter of comfort and exhibitionism (the 'I like people checking me out' kind, not the 'expose yourself on the playground kind.')

And a lot of mefites once were 16-year-olds. I would be willing to bet that a strong majority were, even.

Not me. I went straight from birth to crotchety middle age.
posted by jonmc at 12:29 PM on March 19, 2007


Having never tried it, I feel compelled to ask... Isn't nude male volleyball painful?

My grasp of anatomy and Newtonian physics leads me to believe that sprinting around and stopping/jumping suddenly, on a warm day, would cause unsupported junk to slingshot against legs and bodies...
posted by CKmtl at 12:31 PM on March 19, 2007


Is Mark Foley somehow involved in this camp? Just noticed the /youngpages[activity].htm format.
posted by CKmtl at 12:36 PM on March 19, 2007


Why is it, that without exception, anything nudist - resort, beach, colony, whatever, always contains people who really should never been seen naked except by loved ones, and even then, perhaps not.
posted by daveyt at 12:37 PM on March 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


That's a good question bluefrog.

On a (slightly) more serious note, this policy pretty much says everything one needs to know about the demographics of camp attendees; and it is clear that the campers and/or management really wants to see some young(er) naked people out on the volleyball court.
posted by Mister_A at 12:39 PM on March 19, 2007


I've said it before & I'll say it again. When it comes to public nudity, my only request is that for the love of all that is holy please put down the egg salad sandwiches first.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:45 PM on March 19, 2007


My grasp of anatomy and Newtonian physics leads me to believe that sprinting around and stopping/jumping suddenly, on a warm day, would cause unsupported junk to slingshot against legs and bodies...

or what's a hell for?
posted by hal9k at 1:23 PM on March 19, 2007


At least the people who came up with "Moon Amtrak Day" had the good sense to put it in California in July. In early May in Massachusetts there's still snow on the ground.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 1:26 PM on March 19, 2007


Under my clothes, I'm nude d:)
posted by winks007 at 1:45 PM on March 19, 2007


They need to resize their images in photoshop or something, rather than just stretching them to fit the layout. They all look a little skewed to me, the young lady on the front page, for example, looks much nicer when the image is viewed outside the browser window.
As if there weren't enough stretch marks on this site already.
posted by agentofselection at 1:50 PM on March 19, 2007


Man you couldn't keep the pant's on the kids at my college anyway, and that was in mid-winter... in Vermont. IMO Naked people: just like normal folks, I don't like the way most of them look, but I really like the way some of them look. Nudity like capre-pants, not for everyone.
posted by French Fry at 2:14 PM on March 19, 2007


My grasp of anatomy and Newtonian physics leads me to believe that sprinting around and stopping/jumping suddenly, on a warm day, would cause unsupported junk to slingshot against legs and bodies...

Yeah, I tried it once, but just ended up with a black eye.

It had to be done....
posted by chundo at 2:30 PM on March 19, 2007


Man you couldn't keep the pant's on the kids at my college anyway, and that was in mid-winter... in Vermont.

Ha. Maybe we went to the same school!

My friend Jim was very fond of traipsing around campus naked & playing one of his flutes. The strange thing was that no matter what temperature it was, he always kept on his shoes & socks. And they were always white socks, which somehow made it odder for me.

Not to mention that our semesterly campus photos were basically just people flashing the camera.
posted by eunoia at 3:05 PM on March 19, 2007


Ha. Maybe we went to the same school!

Not to mention that our semesterly campus photos were basically just people flashing the camera.

Marlboro College?
posted by French Fry at 3:52 PM on March 19, 2007


Marlboro College?

Wouldn't surprise me.

Hated that place. (Not for nudity, tho.)
posted by Snyder at 4:17 PM on March 19, 2007


Man you couldn't keep the pant's on the kids at my college anyway, and that was in mid-winter... in Vermont.

You must have gone to Bennington...
posted by mykescipark at 4:26 PM on March 19, 2007


Nope. Goddard College, but I visited Marlboro a few times & they're basically the same place.
posted by eunoia at 4:34 PM on March 19, 2007


Good god, are we recycling nudism already? It's only been a couple weeks since someone last did it.

Nude is not the new black.

(i think that's how the kids say it these days.)
posted by five fresh fish at 6:10 PM on March 19, 2007


Hey, you naked kids get off my lawn!
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:03 PM on March 19, 2007


I wonder why there's always at least one person in a forum who thinks that nude people should look like supermodels. I wonder what he looks like nude himself.
posted by tehloki at 11:21 PM on March 19, 2007


My college is on the list too. When I was there, one of the houses would host an annual Naked Party. Oh what fun, watching a bunch of arty-types get naked. There was enough strained non-chalant in that house to power a small city.
posted by 1adam12 at 12:59 AM on March 20, 2007


Well, if you celebrate the first of May like Jonathan Coulton does, Nudist Day on the fifth would just be a natural extension of the party.

(MP3)
posted by shiu mai baby at 5:28 AM on March 20, 2007


Our college streakers tried to class it up a bit, called themselves the Varsity Streaking Team, and would use Spring Break as a two-week window to pile into an Airedale, visit a dozen other colleges on the east coast, streak them, film the responses, and declare victory. (Except at Bates, which they called a draw: two girls there saw a dozen hideously ugly naked men carrying flags, airhorns, and rubber chickens, and screamed "STREAKERS!" as they ditched their clothes on the main quad and joined in the fracas).

That was... an odd documentary.
posted by Mayor West at 5:43 AM on March 20, 2007


meh
posted by caddis at 7:11 PM on March 20, 2007


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