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March 26, 2007 2:12 PM   Subscribe

"So take that to your next rain dance and STFU" vs. "YOU GO BACK TO AFRICA AND DO YOUR GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE AND JUMP AROUND AND PRANCE AND ALL OVER THE PLACE HALF NAKED..." Emails between a gay black man and a Native American army recruiter. Copy of the email exchange here. (Quote at the bottom format, so read from the last page up.)
posted by Snyder (73 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow. Now that is a flameout. [NOT-PUN-INTENDICIST]

So careerbuilder.com is subsidized by the military? I find that kinda creepy.
posted by lekvar at 2:21 PM on March 26, 2007


Support the troops.
posted by hermitosis at 2:21 PM on March 26, 2007


So careerbuilder.com is subsidized by the military? I find that kinda creepy.
posted by lekvar


It was just a recruiter surfing the site looking for victims, which isn't the same as a government subsidy.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:23 PM on March 26, 2007


Why do half-naked voodoo homosexuals hate America?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:24 PM on March 26, 2007 [6 favorites]


Too bad that a few rotten apples make the whole US Army look like a stronghold of institutionalized homophobia.

What's that you say?

Oh.
posted by hermitosis at 2:25 PM on March 26, 2007 [5 favorites]


So careerbuilder.com is subsidized by the military? I find that kinda creepy.

Careerbuilder is loaded with recruitment ads. I don't know if that's a subsidy, but they're a pretty big sponsor. For that matter, so is Monster.com and HotJobs.com. I've been contacted by recruiters through all 3 sites in the recent past.
posted by deadmessenger at 2:28 PM on March 26, 2007


Are we winning in Iraq yet?
posted by DragonBoy at 2:28 PM on March 26, 2007


"GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE AND JUMP AROUND AND PRANCE AND ALL OVER THE PLACE HALF NAKED"

Ted Nugent's song titles just aren't as concise as they used to be.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:29 PM on March 26, 2007 [26 favorites]


And yeah, what a flameout.

Sounds like someone's really gone off the reservation.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:31 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Why do half-naked voodoo homosexuals hate America?

The funny thing is, as an often half-naked ex-Army homosexual, I did my best gay voodoo limbo tango and wango dancing when I was in the service. Good times ...
posted by me & my monkey at 2:31 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


>FREEDOM ISNT FREE YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH WAS GIVENM TO YOU BY THE US MILITARY

Surely the freedom is given by the US Constitution. But, getting this backwards does explain an awful lot about the US MILITARY.
posted by Rumple at 2:31 PM on March 26, 2007


Give America back to the Indians.
posted by jfuller at 2:33 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


There appears to be a correlation between bigotry and overuse of the caps lock. Chicken? Egg? Dunno.
posted by brundlefly at 2:37 PM on March 26, 2007


Two idiots flame each other via teh intarweb.

Yawn.
posted by frogan at 2:38 PM on March 26, 2007


>FREEDOM ISNT FREE

How much Astroglide does $1.05 get me?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:42 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


FREEDOM ISNT FREE

Neither is it optional.

YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH WAS GIVENM TO YOU BY THE US MILITARY

Seriously, I've never understood how some people can be so damned proud to fight for freedoms they so clearly don't believe in.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:43 PM on March 26, 2007 [5 favorites]


Two idiots flame each other via teh intarweb.

... and one is an official representative of the US Army. I know a few recruiters, and any of them (regardless of their personal feelings about godless homosexuals) would think this is an awful response.
posted by me & my monkey at 2:43 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


So wait...did he ever go back to Africa and do his gay voodoo limbo tango and wango dance and jump and prance and all over the place half naked? I need closure.
posted by PlusDistance at 2:44 PM on March 26, 2007 [4 favorites]


Pft, top-posters the pair of 'em.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 2:44 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


Dr. Jimmy's comment alone makes it a worthwhile post....
posted by das_2099 at 2:46 PM on March 26, 2007


FREEDOM ISN'T FREE YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH WAS GIVENM TO YOU BY THE US MILITARY

This is a point made ad nauseum on the internets by grunts who are so thick, they believe the war is somehow a reflection upon them personally. It must be a Rush or Hannity talking point. For a culture built on machismo, the military really is prone to whiny, persecution complex snit-fits.
posted by MaxVonCretin at 2:46 PM on March 26, 2007


WW11? How'd I miss that?
posted by Pecinpah at 2:47 PM on March 26, 2007


Surely the freedom is given by the US Constitution.

Actually, it's given by Providence and inherent to humanity. The Constitution protects it from infringement.
posted by kafziel at 2:47 PM on March 26, 2007 [16 favorites]


I don't recall the military showing up at protests to make sure me and my bullhorn are okay, so, no, they don't give us freedom of speech. That's guaranteed by the Constitution and protected, almost exclusively, by the court system.

I don't know why the military is confused about this. Their job is to protect my safety. I don't want them anywhere near my freedoms.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:49 PM on March 26, 2007 [5 favorites]


It is part of the 'they hate our freedoms' bullshit package..see since 'they' hate our freedoms, and the army is fighting them ..why, it just stands to reason that 'our freedoms' are won by the army!
duh!
posted by das_2099 at 2:53 PM on March 26, 2007


IF IT BOTHERS YOU PAYING TAXES THEN MIGRATE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY.

Why do gay tax-dodging birds hate America?
posted by papakwanz at 2:55 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


As a a former soldier, I find this totally unacceptable. What happened to "just saying no" - was any of that really necessary?
posted by winks007 at 2:56 PM on March 26, 2007


Careerbuilder is loaded with recruitment ads.

Careerbuilder is mostly ads recycled from partner newspapers. If you see a lot of military ads on Careerbuilder, it's because the military is spamming the local newspapers.

Which they totally do nowadays, because they're getting desperate for good help, for some reason.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 2:57 PM on March 26, 2007


If wars were fought with internet invective, these two could defeat...I dunno, Burma.
posted by jonmc at 3:02 PM on March 26, 2007


People who decide to vent their spleen in text form really should get acquainted with punctuation. The capslock anger is hard to parse without it.

"I HAVE MORE RIGHTS HERE THAN YOU AND MY ROOTS HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE BEFORE THE AMERICAS WERE DISCOVERED."

Redskin say what? Don't most natives cringe at the whole 'north america being discovered' concept?
posted by CKmtl at 3:08 PM on March 26, 2007


Surely the freedom is given by the US Constitution.

Actually, it's given by Providence and inherent to humanity


The irony here is that Freedom, prized by the human race since the dawn of time, is the focal point, indeed the ultimate goal, of the Gay Voodoo Limbo Tango.

The Wango Dance promises us equality across all nationalities and ethnic groups.

And Jumping and Prancing All Over The Place Half Naked? Read your Holy Bible, friends.
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:11 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


What the hell is this odious crap?
posted by loquacious at 3:13 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is no different from the half a dozen retarded flameouts per day that I see on one of the guitar tech boards I contribute to. Only difference is that this one wasn't anonymous, which makes it about ten times as stupid.

I have my doubts that Ramode will be getting the recruiter of the month award any time soon.
posted by psmealey at 3:17 PM on March 26, 2007


>FREEDOM ISNT FREE

Is there, mayhap, a hefty fuckin' fee?

Brother shoulda paid his $1.05.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:17 PM on March 26, 2007


I'm concerned about which "half" is naked during the gay voodoo African wango tango limbo dance.

This is a very important distinction and it piques my interest considerably.
posted by Avenger at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


The Wango Dance promises us equality across all nationalities

[SIGNING]
We can dance if we want to,
We can leave all nationalities behind!
But your friends don't dance and if they don't dance they're uncommitted to equality.
The Tango Dance, oh-oh, the Wango Dance...
[/SINGING]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


Under "Don't Ask Don't Tell":
  1. "Don't Ask" is that you're not allowed to ask if the other person is homosexual, right?
  2. "Don't Tell" is that you're not allowed to say that you're homosexual, right?
  3. I assume that you're also not allowed to ask, for example, "Are you heterosexual", as it would be a simple way to get around the spirit of (1).
Now, what I want to know is, are you allowed to say that you are heterosexual?
posted by Flunkie at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2007


Metafilter: The Gay African Voodoo Wango Tango Limbo Dance.

/obligatory
posted by Avenger at 3:21 PM on March 26, 2007


>FREEDOM ISNT FREE

I know it isn't. Here, I'll trade you for these shiny beads. And these blankets.
posted by puke & cry at 3:24 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


so, i guess the war on terrible hasn't been won yet?
posted by pyramid termite at 3:29 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


If I was gay, I would totally be sneaking into the Army so I could learn to look my dad in the eye and shake his hand.

Also, hey, free watch.
posted by danb at 3:30 PM on March 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


YOUR INNER SPIRITS ARE NOT TRUE TO YOU SINCE YOU DO NOT KNOW IF YOU ARE MALE OR FEMALE. — Sgt. Ramode

Trigger, please!
posted by rob511 at 3:33 PM on March 26, 2007


Under "Don't Ask Don't Tell":

1. "Don't Ask" is that you're not allowed to ask if the other person is homosexual, right?
2. "Don't Tell" is that you're not allowed to say that you're homosexual, right?
3. I assume that you're also not allowed to ask, for example, "Are you heterosexual", as it would be a simple way to get around the spirit of (1).

Now, what I want to know is, are you allowed to say that you are heterosexual?


Of course.

Under DADT, you're not allowed to ask directly only until some third party accuses you. Then you get investigated along with everyone you hang out with, and then you get thrown out.
posted by amberglow at 3:34 PM on March 26, 2007


Well, at least the Army Recruiters' talk is consistent with their policies. I give them an A+ for knowing their brand and marketing it appropriately.

The military continues to ignore studies that have shown that gays in the military do not compromise unit cohesion, etc., yet they stick to their bigoted policy. Why not back it up with bigoted diatribes? It'll only make them less popular in the civilized parts of the country and harder for them to recruit. Let's see their ugliness in all its splendor; why encourage censorship?
posted by Azaadistani at 3:39 PM on March 26, 2007


This dovetails nicely into two Bill Hicks quotes:

"Here's how I feel about gays in the military: Anyone dumb enough to want to be in the military should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement. I don't care how many push-ups you can do – put on a helmet, go wait in that fox hole. We'll tell you when we need you to kill somebody...."

"And don't tell me this is the military that protects our freedom – hey, ladies and gentlemen, there ain't no one out there who's a fucking threat to us. They don't exist. Oh – I'm talking now only of countries we don't arm first. All right, if you want to split hairs, you got a point. "Bill, what about the nations we sell arms to and then blow the fuck out of?" Okay, they might be scary for about a day!"
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:08 PM on March 26, 2007


Well, the recruiter is bad, sure, but he's no Garrison Keillor. Seriously, though, once the recruiter knew that the guy was gay, he shoulda just backed off. Seeing the INTENSE INTERNET CARPATBOMBEINGS was horrible.
posted by boo_radley at 4:14 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


The irony here is that Freedom, prized by the human race since the dawn of time, is the focal point, indeed the ultimate goal, of the Gay Voodoo Limbo Tango.

I must be doing it wrong, because the ultimate goal for me was, well, uh nevermind.

Well, at least the Army Recruiters' talk is consistent with their policies.

Here are the two life lessons I learned from my platoon sergeant (a former recruiter):

1. A buddy is a guy who will go into town, get two blowjobs, and come back and give you one.

2. When you get your physical, it's perfectly ok when the doctor puts one hand on your shoulder while sticking his finger in your anus. If he puts both hands on your shoulders, the exam will take a little longer.

Then you get investigated along with everyone you hang out with, and then you get thrown out.

Unless, of course, they need you right now, in which case they'll throw you out later.
posted by me & my monkey at 4:17 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Avenger writes "I'm concerned about which 'half' is naked during the gay voodoo African wango tango limbo dance."

Look at the name again:

The gay voodoo African wango tango limbo dance.

The one that you see on TV and in more well-regulated nightclubs is the gay vooodoo African chesto tango limbo dance. That dance exposes the 'other' half of the body, and is altogether less exciting to observers, participants and military recruiters alike.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:30 PM on March 26, 2007


LOL BIGOTZ
posted by grouse at 4:42 PM on March 26, 2007


Peter:

Get it straight, (or, er... nevermind).
It's a tango AND wango.
First you tango, then you wango.
posted by papakwanz at 4:44 PM on March 26, 2007


I know a few recruiters, and any of them (regardless of their personal feelings about godless homosexuals) would think this is an awful response.

And I would completely agree with you, and raise you that 99.9 percent of military recruiters are damn good people.

It's just ... you'll find dorks in every walk of life. Hence the yawn response to the post and the news story.

If this had happened 30 years ago, before don't ask, don't tell, my response would be the same. If it happens 30 years from now, when hopefully, we're all past the petty gaydar stage, the response will still be ... yawn.
posted by frogan at 5:12 PM on March 26, 2007


Unless, of course, they need you right now, in which case they'll throw you out later.
Oh yeah, i forgot about stoploss and when they're shorthanded and in a war--then you're stuck until they don't need you anymore.
posted by amberglow at 5:14 PM on March 26, 2007


That Bill Hicks quote: "Here's how I feel about gays in the military: Anyone dumb enough to want to be in the military should be allowed in. End of fucking story."

Right on. That's also why I can't sorry for anybody in the VOLUNTEER military. ("What did you think you were joining, the Girl Scouts? Maybe so given the way you boo-hoo-hoo.")
posted by davy at 5:21 PM on March 26, 2007


When you sign on that dotted line you give yourself over to War, Famine, Pestilence and Death; the Four Horsemen do not love you and never will. And most countries' wounded soldiers will find Walter Reed luxurious: electricity, running water, and few starving rats.
posted by davy at 5:29 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Surely the freedom is given by the US Constitution.

Actually, it's given by Providence and inherent to humanity. The Constitution protects it from infringement.


the whole "we're over there fightin for your freedom of speech" is a very popular recruiter mythological belief. it was handed to me while i was doing a sit-in at one of them army shops. when i meekly said, "gee, i think i was born with that right, mister... coulda been born in that there Iraq, and it'd still be my birthright." every one of the five of them jumped out of his chair like i was gonna get a whuppin.

and then they all went out for a smoke, PTSD vibes electrifying the air all around.

and then i got arrested.
posted by RedEmma at 5:51 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


The Bill Hicks quote has also resonated with me since I first heard it in the early 90s. Though I do feel sympathy for and empathize with our people in uniform, I think it says something profoundly fucked up about the state of our society that people volunteer for that shit duty.

In my parents generations, military service was compulsory which created a sense of civic duty, cohesion, purpose, sacrifice, helped with integration in post Jim Crow society, and ensured that the voting populace was somewhat engaged in where they troops ended getting deployed.

Today we have seen the creation of a quasi military class separate from the civilian populace, and a complete disconnect between what the government can do with the military (hey, they volunteered to go, so worship these heroes, but fuck 'em anyway!), and complete apathy on the part of a population that has no skin in the game.

I'm sure 99.9% of all military recruiters are nice guys, but their mostly used car salesmen... This asshole just didn't have enough of a filter to put a lid on his real feelings.
posted by Flem Snopes at 5:52 PM on March 26, 2007


I think it says something profoundly fucked up about the state of our society that people volunteer for that shit duty.

Not that everyone would say it's strictly volunteering, of course...
posted by poweredbybeard at 6:10 PM on March 26, 2007


Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
posted by LordSludge at 6:16 PM on March 26, 2007


YOU HEAD OFF TO THE GAY LAND OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO MORALS AND GET RID OF YOURSELF.

Best. Comeback. Ever.
posted by KingoftheWhales at 6:29 PM on March 26, 2007


Surely the freedom is given by the US Constitution.

Actually, it's given by Providence and inherent to humanity. The Constitution protects it from infringement.


This is all very nice, but it only works if everyone agrees that it's given by Providence and inherent to humanity. If some portion of humanity thinks, actually, I don't think you do have the freedom to do whatever that thing is that you want to do, then we are back to "might makes right." That's why the majority band together to determine what is or isn't a freedom of humanity (via the legislative & judicial systems) but at the end of the day, the laws and the interpretations of those laws still have to be backed by power. A state with no military is relying on the politeness and consensus off all human beings. So, good luck with that. It doesn't usually quite work out.

Like it or not, force is an essential part of freedom. The point is that that force is under the law as well: it must conform to the agreed rules we've set down through the branches of gov't, and it must recognize itself as in service to the constitution rather than any sort of authority. But we should still respect the importance of its role, as tragic as it sometimes seems that it's necessary.
posted by mdn at 7:45 PM on March 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Actually, I have to say, the military recruiters that have called for me have been far and away the nicest telephone solicitors I've ever talked to.

An example conversation: "How are you today? Are you going to college? Oh yeah? Where? That's a good school. What are you majoring in?" and so on. Eventually they do get to "Do you have any interest in joining the Army?" but after I decline, they say, "OK. Thanks anyway, and thanks for talking to us today. Have a good day now."

Much nicer than the guys selling aluminum siding.
posted by danb at 7:52 PM on March 26, 2007


Careerbuilder is mostly ads recycled from partner newspapers. If you see a lot of military ads on Careerbuilder, it's because the military is spamming the local newspapers.

Not according to Marcia:

... FURTHERMORE IF YOU DON'T LIKE GETTING ANY EMAILS FOR THE US ARMY RECRUITING THEN TAKE YOUR RESUME OFF CAREER BUILDER BECAUSE WE PAY FOR YOUR FREE SPACE THERE
posted by mrgrimm at 8:12 PM on March 26, 2007


When a military recruiter takes a dump on the sidewalk it emanates several of the amendments in the Bill of Rights for passers-by to breathe in and enjoy. Thank a recruiter.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:19 PM on March 26, 2007


AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ME WRITING IN CAPS THEN DELETE MY EMAILS AND DO NOT RESPOND I THINK IT SCARED YOU TO DEATH.

Eek, the typography! I must to the fainting couch!
posted by sculpin at 8:43 PM on March 26, 2007


"Take that to your next raindance and STFU."

I like how the recruiter's "victim" elevated the dialogue with that one. Way to class it up.

Seriously, the recruiter should be fired for unprofessional behavior, but it's hard to regard either party with much more than pity.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:29 PM on March 26, 2007


And I think its wonderful how so many 18-25 year old Americans exercise their Freedom of Speech to support a war they themselves are too smart, too lazy and too spoiled to actually fight in. Next time you hear pro-war remarks from such a person, do ask him/her why s/he's not proudly serving personally in such a noble crusade. "Walk your talk or take a hike!"
posted by davy at 10:31 PM on March 26, 2007


GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE AND JUMPing the shark.
posted by Sparx at 12:54 AM on March 27, 2007


>and then i got arrested.
posted by RedEmma at 5:51 PM on March 26

Eponymically appropriate. Bravo.
posted by eritain at 2:21 AM on March 27, 2007


mdn: A state with no military is relying on the politeness and consensus off all human beings. So, good luck with that. It doesn't usually quite work out.

Plenty of countries with small, or purely defensive militaries are doing just fine without being overrun by Freedom-Hating Enemies or even just plain old vanilla Invading Forces. It seems to me that the more a military makes its presence felt, the more enemies it creates.
posted by Drexen at 3:19 AM on March 27, 2007


The GAY VOODOO LIMBO TANGO AND WANGO DANCE has really brightened up my day.
posted by Mocata at 11:14 AM on March 27, 2007


I had no idea that WANGO had its own dance.
posted by brundlefly at 12:38 PM on March 27, 2007


I would be very interested in seeing what followup actions are taken.. if any.
posted by drstein at 3:20 PM on March 27, 2007


Daaaaaaamn.
posted by etoile at 9:54 AM on March 30, 2007


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