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If I get elected... they will be terrified. I myself will be terrified.
April 12, 2007 12:46 AM   Subscribe

"I do not have a single constructive proposal. Annihilate everything that exists.(YouTube)." Toyama Koichi announces his run for Governor of Tokyo. Something is perhaps lost (or gained) in translation. That feeling in your chest is the inner demon smiling.
posted by kid ichorous (58 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite

 
man that was completely awesome. exterminate all rational thought!

MOTTOMOTTO ZENZEN KANKEI NAI DAKARA!!!
posted by joeblough at 12:57 AM on April 12, 2007


The harangue slows down a bit, but the closing lines ("I myself will be terrified.") and gestures make it all worthwhile.
posted by zippy at 1:09 AM on April 12, 2007


Japan. Still. Freaks. Me. Out. Must. Visit.
posted by srboisvert at 1:39 AM on April 12, 2007


It's the video version of metatalk!
posted by YoBananaBoy at 1:39 AM on April 12, 2007 [7 favorites]


"If you choose by majority vote, of course the majority wins!"

Not necessarily true 'round some parts now a days. But I like his idealism.
posted by phyrewerx at 1:42 AM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Japan gets all the good political entertainment while we're stuck with "Waffle man", "Chimpy McFlightsuit", and "Lockbox."

This is the kind of campaign reform we need. Put half-cocked anarchist wingnuts on national TV, guys with only enough sanity to be afraid of themselves. If I have to put up with months and months of campaigning, I want to laugh at it!

Oh, and props on him (and Japan) for giving the finger on national TV, without censorship blurs. Did it really air that way?
posted by Saydur at 1:46 AM on April 12, 2007


This did make my inner demon smile… a little nervously. This man should be put in charge of the Axis of Evil’s secret underground North Korean doomsday-virus R&D facility at once! I appreciate the youtube poster taking the time to add that “When he is not absorbed in his path to overthrow and destroy the nation of Japan,” he works as a busker.
posted by misteraitch at 1:47 AM on April 12, 2007


I found myself all during the last half of that waiting for a Japanese version of Superman crashing through the roof at the cry of "Luthor you must be stopped!".

I'm weird that way.
posted by Iosephus at 1:50 AM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


I like the cut of that fellow's jib. He's got chutzpah!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 2:13 AM on April 12, 2007


Best. One-link. Metafilter. Post. Evar!
posted by zardoz at 2:17 AM on April 12, 2007


srboister : therefore you want to watch this
posted by elpapacito at 3:01 AM on April 12, 2007


Man, I love his 'I'm an evil dude' head twitch at the end.
posted by Happy Dave at 3:42 AM on April 12, 2007


He got 15,000 votes.
posted by abcde at 4:08 AM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, the election's over. Timing is everything.
posted by armage at 4:14 AM on April 12, 2007


EVERYONE READING THIS POST IS MY SWORN ENEMY
posted by DU at 4:15 AM on April 12, 2007 [5 favorites]


This is political theatre at its finest! Might be worth mentioning, though, that this YouTube poster's comments concerning Toyama's affiliation with something called the "Kyushu Fascist Party" cannot be independently corroborated. Nowhere does the word "fascist", nor any reference to something called the "Kyushu Fascist Party" appear in anything I've been able to find from Toyama himself.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:18 AM on April 12, 2007


Well, at least he's honest about his feelings...
posted by qcubed at 5:43 AM on April 12, 2007


"The crime is life, the sentence is death!"
posted by slimepuppy at 6:26 AM on April 12, 2007


So he was a left-wing anarchist and now a revolutionary fascist?


That was funny as hell though.
posted by Gnostic Novelist at 7:03 AM on April 12, 2007


Also, something else, if you consider Japan's extremely collectivist culture, this guy doesn't really come off so bad. He is just pissed off and isn't going to take it anymore.
posted by Gnostic Novelist at 7:06 AM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


"People who hate people, unite!"

"No!"
posted by Zero Gravitas at 7:17 AM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


This dude would make an awesome supervillain.

Seriously, though - what minority is he talking about? The bald? The insane? The nihilistic?

And did anybody else notice that he flicks us off at the end?

Aaah Japan. A bastion of cultural otherness you are.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:21 AM on April 12, 2007


This dude would make an awesome supervillain.

That's his whole point, man! He's a supervillain!

Seriously, though - what minority is he talking about?

Now that's yer characteristic Japanese vagueness. You're sorta supposed to know, but, you don't really, and neither does he, exactly, and so the social contract is fulfilled!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:27 AM on April 12, 2007


Unfortunately, when villains win, they tend not to be of the amusing comic book type.
posted by Makoto at 7:31 AM on April 12, 2007


Definitely, Makoto. Ishihara is a total drag.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:38 AM on April 12, 2007


Metafilter: Gentlemen! I despise each and every one of you.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:45 AM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


So basically the guy's sayin' that unless you happen to think like the majority, your vote doesn't count. The only way to win the game is not to play - or just take your bat and glove and go home (OR blow up the baseball diamond). Hell, I been saying that for years, but no one listens to me either! And I never got fifteen thousand votes for anything! Maybe Japan is more democratic than America, or maybe America is just better at silencing idiots like myself and little mister dumbo ears.

Hey, I love'm like a brother. He's got style. Needs to work on his posture tho. And his fashion taste is so 1983.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:46 AM on April 12, 2007


this guy is pretty much Ishihara in drag.

I was waiting for the "are there any queers in the theatre tonight. . ." to start
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 7:50 AM on April 12, 2007


This guy should be Britains replacement fro Tony Blair. You'd be fucked then, Iran and/or world (UK included).
posted by Artw at 7:51 AM on April 12, 2007


"You're probably wondering why I'm in the election. That would be a long story."

...so you may want to get some snacks.
posted by 235w103 at 8:07 AM on April 12, 2007


He called on his followers to rebel against the nation. Isn't that illegal in just about all countries?
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:24 AM on April 12, 2007


The man is a genius:

"Toyama, the Kyushu-based activist who calls himself a fascist, set up "shop"--a cardboard box on which to sit--in front of Tokyo's Koenji Station one recent evening. He also had several cans of beer in a plastic bag.

Addressing 20 or so passersby, Toyama said: "Let's start the drinking session as usual. But under the election law, I'm afraid I can't treat you. Please buy alcoholic drinks yourselves at a kiosk or a convenience store nearby."

Toyama has followed the same routine since the campaign kicked off on March 22" (Asahi)
posted by aramaic at 8:36 AM on April 12, 2007


OK, don't miss the compulsory anime-themed jpop remix of his remarks. The yin to his yang. Or would it be the other way 'round?
posted by ulotrichous at 8:38 AM on April 12, 2007


NO MATTER HOW MUCH REFORM IS DONE THERE IS NO HOPE!

I have a strong urge to shout this in Japanese tomorrow in the staff room and see who gets the reference.

Eh, but my experiments in humour have not gone so well so far...
posted by dreamsign at 9:00 AM on April 12, 2007


Via japundit, a couple of guys went out and met him. I guess he's pretty cool.
posted by greasepig at 9:24 AM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Also, I love that his call to OBLITERATE THE NATION is followed by "to be completely honest..."
posted by dreamsign at 9:33 AM on April 12, 2007


via greasepig's link, he says he took the ferry from Kyushu to Tokyo. heh. OK, so he's a pretty well-adjusted dude in reality. I'm living in a country where both Jesse The Body Venturi and the Terminator can be elected Governor, so more power to him.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 9:41 AM on April 12, 2007


"You're probably wondering why I'm in the elections ... there are 2 types of posters, be sure to read both."

Japanese might be my favorite language to hear batshitinsane in.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:31 AM on April 12, 2007


Ishihara, 2006: "Roppongi is now virtually a foreign neighborhood. Africans — I don't mean African-Americans — who don't speak English are there doing who knows what. This is leading to new forms of crime such as car theft. We should be letting in people who are intelligent."

Now that's yer characteristic Japanese vagueness
posted by ioesf at 11:42 AM on April 12, 2007


I was waiting for the "are there any queers in the theatre tonight. . ." to start
posted by Heywood Mogroot


I had that song playing through my head the entire speech.
posted by NationalKato at 11:52 AM on April 12, 2007


This guy is clearly waiting for the Second Akira Incident.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:12 PM on April 12, 2007


An impassioned plea for minority rule. I think he's correct that his platform will win the majority vote.
posted by found missing at 12:47 PM on April 12, 2007


will == will not
posted by found missing at 12:48 PM on April 12, 2007


armage writes "Yeah, the election's over. Timing is everything."

Dude. The election's just a festival for the majority. It doesn't matter if you contact him before or after the election.
posted by mr_roboto at 12:58 PM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Was much of what he said really wrong though? I agree that his nihilistic 'solution' of destruction is a bit much, but his assessment seems fairly good, even if it is overwhelmed by rhetorical flushes.

Now if you live comfortably, have few worries, have children, and have a static day-to-day life, then of course you have a vested interest in the status-quo as many sensible people.

It's like having a plate of food on the table, but not liking the food. Adding salt and pepper doesn't help. However, becoming a 100 percent Breatharian is extreme.
posted by Gnostic Novelist at 1:10 PM on April 12, 2007


I like that he's begging people to call him--before or after the election, inside or outside of Tokyo, of age or underage. I find it sort of endearing. I mean, he obviously needs a new crew to help him annihilate everything, but maybe, after the government has been overthrown and the majority reduced to a state of perpetual terror, he just wants to have some friends to hang with. Even would-be supervillains get lonely sometimes.
posted by thivaia at 2:23 PM on April 12, 2007


I love his Yojimbo head-shake at the end.
posted by redteam at 2:26 PM on April 12, 2007


ioesf: Racist comments from certain Japanese politicians notwithstanding, vagueness is a defining characteristic of Japanese communication of all sorts. If by pointing to Ishihara's comment and then back to mine you mean to say that the "vagueness" observation is unfounded, I'd answer that statements like Ishihara's are the exception that proves the rule. And, as I said earlier, Ishihara is a total drag. I'm really bummed that he just won another election.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:27 PM on April 12, 2007


And don't misunderstand me, by "exception that proves the rule" I'm not suggesting there aren't other politicians likely to make clear, bold, assertive (and/or stupid) statements. But they are anomalies in a society where being so clearly outsoken and, well, non-vague is against the norm.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:35 PM on April 12, 2007


I'd pay money to see Toyama Koichi stand in for Steve Jobs at the next Macworld.
posted by zippy at 3:52 PM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


me I think he's been reading too much rand and thinks he's a japanese galt at the radio station all over again. oy vey, as they say back home in india.
posted by infini at 4:02 PM on April 12, 2007


I can't decide if I'm amused or disturbed by his ability to yell and rant angrily (to the point that CAPSLOCK MUST BE USED in the subtitles) while having no real change in facial expression.
posted by CKmtl at 5:16 PM on April 12, 2007


YOJIMBO RULES!

His attitude is ultimately just sour grapes. Of course the majority is going to win an election. Duh. Here's some other things he should have longwinded speeches about.

Water is wet. It is evil to be forced to bathe.

Fire burns. This we cannot abide.

Women have boobies and a vagina. What's that about?

Fear is scary.

Blue is a color. So is purple. Yellow is also a color. Colors suck. Black is alright though, because it goes with everything.

Pencils have lead and leave markings on paper. Therefore they must be eradicated.

Stemcell research is neato.

When you record yourself on video saying and doing stupid things, it gets seen by other people - potentially people all over the world will see how stupid you are. This makes them the enemy. They must be destroyed.

*makes random hand gestures and cocks head side to side*
posted by ZachsMind at 7:21 PM on April 12, 2007


Japanese Lex Luthor, you may have lost the election, but you have won my heart.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:29 PM on April 12, 2007


an alternative subtitle. $
posted by acro at 9:22 PM on April 12, 2007


An impassioned plea for minority rule. I think he's correct that his platform will win the majority vote.

Well, it has worked for every political party since... ever.

Honestly? I'd vote for him. Gladly. How often do people really like who they vote for? At least this guy's honest, and pretty perceptive to boot. Elections are celebrations of the status quo.

Sure, he's crazy, and I'd be throwing my vote away. But at least I'd be throwing it in to a much nicer trash heap this time.
posted by poweredbybeard at 11:53 PM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


KANE LIVES!
posted by oxford blue at 6:40 AM on April 13, 2007


poweredbybeard.

You nailed my reaction. My exact words when I saw this were: "Sure he's crazy, but I'd vote for him."
posted by yeolcoatl at 7:57 AM on April 13, 2007


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