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It's what's for dinner
April 13, 2007 6:10 PM   Subscribe


 
The really amazing part is that the fucking thing was RE-ATTACHED. It was sitting in the crocodile's goddamn mouth, and now it's back on the dude's body. Astounding.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 6:13 PM on April 13, 2007


Awesome!
posted by clockzero at 6:13 PM on April 13, 2007


When Animals Attack MetaFilter.
posted by ORthey at 6:14 PM on April 13, 2007


Cool. Can we do captions for the guy in bed?

"No no no, thanks. I'm way too high."
posted by phaedon at 6:14 PM on April 13, 2007


Wow. Exactly as advertised. You're an honest guy, Stynxno.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:15 PM on April 13, 2007


I'd rather do captions for the croc.

"Tastes like chicken."
posted by voltairemodern at 6:19 PM on April 13, 2007


"No, really. Do I have something in my teeth?"
posted by steef at 6:20 PM on April 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


holy fuck.
posted by puke & cry at 6:21 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


oh my God...
posted by Timberman at 6:27 PM on April 13, 2007


Fakeyness. That hand is way too cleanly bitten off and photoshoppy-looking.
posted by longsleeves at 6:29 PM on April 13, 2007


Wow. Took a lot of his arm, too. I'm amazed they could re-attach that.
posted by Dasein at 6:30 PM on April 13, 2007


Cleanly bitten off? Look at all the shredded flesh hanging next to the mouth! You think National Geographic fakes pictures?
posted by Dasein at 6:31 PM on April 13, 2007


Yeah, I hate it when a normal day at work goes totally wrong like that.
posted by Firas at 6:32 PM on April 13, 2007


Twenty minutes already and no Captain Hook jokes yet? Where is the effort, folks?
posted by John Smallberries at 6:37 PM on April 13, 2007


Give that guy a hand.
posted by PHINC at 6:38 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Crikey!
posted by buzzman at 6:42 PM on April 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


"Tastes like chicken."

Supposedly humans taste like pork. consult this handy graph
posted by delmoi at 6:46 PM on April 13, 2007


Oh and let me add: I was expecting a pretty boring story, but those photos are fucking crazy.
posted by delmoi at 6:47 PM on April 13, 2007


when the inadequately sedated animal bit the vet's forearm off.

And I thought Asians were supposed to be good at math.
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 6:47 PM on April 13, 2007


That's in bad taste, buzzman. It's too soon to be making tasteless jokes like that.


No, wait, no it's not. I retract my pointed barb.
posted by Pinback at 6:48 PM on April 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


(okay, it's a little less impressive when you realize it's his right hand in the second photo and his left in the first)
posted by delmoi at 6:48 PM on April 13, 2007


But for the vet, it wasn't quite a farewell to arm.

Priceless.
posted by Alex404 at 6:51 PM on April 13, 2007


moray eel bites off dude's thumb

the very last bit is pretty funny, where they use one of his toes to replace it.
posted by vronsky at 6:52 PM on April 13, 2007


too soon?
posted by delmoi at 6:54 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Crocodiles are without question the most terrifying animals on land. There's just nothing there but pure reptilian survival instinct.

I was at a croc farm somewhere in Queensland, Australia and I got to talking with the owner. I asked him if the crocodiles ever get used to having people in their pens, or if they recognize the workers as something that shouldn't be eaten.

Apparently they're just too primitive to make the distinction. If it moves, it's either to be eaten, fucked, or driven away from the clutch of eggs they bury under the rotten leaves. Give that mentality to a pair of lightning quick jaws and a couple thousand pounds and you've got a real charmer.
posted by quite unimportant at 6:56 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


working link
posted by vronsky at 6:56 PM on April 13, 2007


After being shot at twice, but apparently unhit, the croc dropped the arm.

A hand in the mouth is (not) worth two (caps) in the ass.
posted by CKmtl at 6:57 PM on April 13, 2007


(okay, it's a little less impressive when you realize it's his right hand in the second photo and his left in the first)

Huh? His left hand is the one bandaged in the second photo - you think he'd be waving around an arm that just got bitten off?
posted by Dasein at 6:59 PM on April 13, 2007


Croc Bites Off Hand, Easter Fertility Ritual, Chinese Cherry Blossoms, More

Now that's a story!
posted by gubo at 7:01 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Huh? His left hand is the one bandaged in the second photo - you think he'd be waving around an arm that just got bitten off?

Yeah, but my first impression was "omg, his hand was bitten off and now he's waiving it!"
posted by delmoi at 7:03 PM on April 13, 2007


"How will you die, Joan Wilder? Slow like a snail, or fast like a shooting star?"
posted by MrBadExample at 7:07 PM on April 13, 2007


This fish photo is pretty impressive.
posted by dobbs at 7:11 PM on April 13, 2007


Chopped.
posted by dhartung at 7:15 PM on April 13, 2007


"Alright, now how the hell do I work this thing?"
posted by voltairemodern at 7:16 PM on April 13, 2007


i bet john cameron swayze wouldn't have had the balls to try that

"i'm bleeding heavily and i'm going into severe sh-shock, but l-let's check the watch ... still working ... timex ... takes a licking and keeps on ticking" ...

*plonk*
posted by pyramid termite at 7:19 PM on April 13, 2007


"I guess I'm a hands-off kinda guy."

"Hmm... this should come in handy."

Heh.
posted by epimorph at 7:22 PM on April 13, 2007


This fish photo is pretty impressive. -- dobbs

Dobbs, that appears to be a video, not a picture. Also it appears to be a chinese toddler solving a Rubik's cube, not a fish.
posted by delmoi at 7:40 PM on April 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


my first impression was "omg, his hand was bitten off and now he's waiving it!"

Yeah, what kind of idiot would waive his bitten-off hand? Personally, I'd be grateful to get it back.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 7:48 PM on April 13, 2007


Watch to the end, delmoi. The Rubik's cube swallows the toddler whole.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 7:49 PM on April 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


"With the tragic death of Steve Irwin still in their thoughts, viewers were simply not ready for Animal Planet's 'Thing, Crocodile Hunter.'"
posted by PlusDistance at 8:01 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


For some reason I can't stop laughing about that fish photo, and delmoi's comment.
posted by found missing at 8:10 PM on April 13, 2007


A+++. Product exactly as advertised.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:16 PM on April 13, 2007


Someone needs to give that crocodile a MetaFilter membership. He took that cutting-off-your-own-hand meme to the next level: "Here, allow me!"
posted by fandango_matt at 8:37 PM on April 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Which one was the fish?
posted by dirigibleman at 8:39 PM on April 13, 2007


Fakeyness. That hand is way too cleanly bitten off and photoshoppy-looking.

Yeah, and what the hell does "National Geographic" mean? Sounds like some fakey website.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:40 PM on April 13, 2007


disgusting filter
posted by caddis at 8:42 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


working link

The money shot is at about 3:25.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:56 PM on April 13, 2007


ouch
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:05 PM on April 13, 2007


Clearly the poor little fella just wanted to break into the hand modelling racket.
posted by maryh at 9:08 PM on April 13, 2007


Last night we were driving home on the west side highway and got a flat tire. Had to pull over on the side of the road (thankfully there was shoulder there, it was pretty high up, north of the GWB) to put on the donut.

So this morning I drive to the Sears Auto Center to get ripped off on a new set of tires (second flat and the back tires were pretty worn down). The Sears Auto Center on 3rd Ave just off Fordham Rd in the Bronx opens at 7:30 AM, by the way, because that information is nowhere on the fucking Sears (or Firestone!) web site and if you call when they're closed it just rings and rings and rings.

So anyway, got there a little after 8 and pick out the new tires, they claim it'll only be an hour so I figure I am a a patient boy and I can read the paper in the waiting room. I get a coffee and an egg and cheese around the corner ($3, breakfast in the Bronx is always a great deal, there's a place called Nicky's by our apartment where you can get 2 eggs any style, toast, hash brown, juce AND coffee for $2.99!) and then read my New York Times (full-page reprint of yesterday's Vonnegut obit, which I need to cut out before I go to bed) while I'm waiting for them to try to hardsell me on new brakes or whatever (turned out to be struts, and I declined, thanks).

So, one of my fellow travelers, after he gets of the phone with his "Moms" (I assumed, when he called her, that he was going to to hit her up for money for new tires, after all, here he was sitting in the Sears Auto Center waiting room with me, but it turned out he was just trying to find out when she was going to visit- she had told him she'd come this weekend but was now changing her plans to next weekend. I felt bad for assuming the worst.) flips through one of the tabloid papers (probably the Post, which by the way had a pretty interesting article on a "major drug bust" in my neighborhood) but it could've been the Daily News (since I live in reality I know it was not the New York Ledger though) and FREAKS THE FUCK OUT when he sees this forearm-in-croc-mouth picture and then proceeds to SHOW ALL OF US in the waiting room.

Thanks man.

Then that guy left and the crazy fat white guy who carried on a monologue about his every action ("Sittin' down. Gonna put the cane behind me. There you go, there you go. Good cane.") came in and took his seat. Crazy fat white guy points out to Marc, the helpful salesguy who wouldn't give me a 10% discount for using a Sears Card (The Sears web site, although it doesn't have the hours of the Sears Auto Center does have a big advert about that 10% off running until the 14th, today is only the 13th, but the in-store promotion materials all said the 11th, dammit) that his shoe was untied. Marc acknowleged this and thanked the crazy fat guy, who then waved his foot around to the rest of us in the waiting room and said "That's why I have velcro!".

Actually he has velcro because he wouldn't be able to reach his feet to tie them. Who am I to talk, I wear Merrels that just slip on.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 9:22 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


"My mom's a handbag now. I wanted to repay the favor."
posted by rob511 at 9:27 PM on April 13, 2007


"disgusting filter"

ITYM "digesting filter," HTH!
posted by davy at 10:26 PM on April 13, 2007


I wear running shoes with velcro-type closures, they were less than $10 at Wal-Mart.
posted by davy at 10:35 PM on April 13, 2007


It looks fake because we think of ourselves as the apex predator of well, everything.

Seeing one of our own limbs in the mouth of another animal is just WRONG. Its not a gazelle leg, or a chicken, its a human hand resting its knuckles on the pavement that just happened to be in the mouth of a large reptile.

We couldn't possibly be food. It's gotta be fake.

Right?
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:45 PM on April 13, 2007


Fakeyness. That hand is way too cleanly bitten off and photoshoppy-looking.

I have seen several definite, different photos of this so I think that it is not, in fact, photoshoppiness, we just wish it was.
posted by bobobox at 10:51 PM on April 13, 2007


Give that mentality to a pair of lightning quick jaws and a couple thousand pounds and you've got a real charmer.

A couple hundred pounds, and you've got Fred Thompson.
posted by y2karl at 10:52 PM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of this incident [not for the squeamish].
posted by the other side at 12:03 AM on April 14, 2007


"Do not poke crocodile with remaining arm."
posted by Captain_Tenille at 12:51 AM on April 14, 2007


You've gotta hand it to the doctors.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:32 AM on April 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wouldn't you give your hand to a friend? Maybe it's not the end.
And I think we can make it. One more time, if we try.
One more time for all the old times. Midnight blue.

posted by maryh at 1:58 AM on April 14, 2007


Chubs!!
posted by ninjew at 2:50 AM on April 14, 2007


It doesn't make sense for a croc to bite limbs off. That would give his dinner a chance to get away. I wonder if the arm was ripped off because they vet was on the other side of iron bars so the croc couldn't pull him into water and instead pulled his hand off.

I also wonder how much shorter the vets arm is now.
posted by srboisvert at 3:07 AM on April 14, 2007


Crocodiles grab hold of what they can and twist like fuck. They don't so much bite bits off as tear it off.

I also wonder how much shorter the vets arm is now.

It looks like they padded it out a little in that bottom picture. That's a pretty obvious join. ;)
posted by vbfg at 4:39 AM on April 14, 2007


Dobbs, that appears to be a video, not a picture. Also it appears to be a chinese toddler solving a Rubik's cube, not a fish.

wow, just... wow.
posted by quonsar at 9:32 AM on April 14, 2007


Reminds me of this incident [not for the squeamish].

Wow. What makes someone think the croc wouldnt bite down and do its best to tear off that tasty piece of flesh? Its an untrainable reptile. I guess some people have to learn that the hard way.
posted by damn dirty ape at 10:40 AM on April 14, 2007


I read about this in the paper while at work (a big part of my job recuires me to read Asian news) and got a good chuckle outta this one. Why is it that the zoos in East Asia are always so chalk-full of intersting events. For instance, I loved reading about Ai-ai the smoking Chimpanzee quit the habit (meaning the zoo keepers stoped giving her smokes).
posted by Dr.James.Orin.Incandenza at 4:10 PM on April 14, 2007


Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnap
Schni Schna Schnappi
Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp.
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:50 PM on April 14, 2007


I have a Chinese toddler solving a Rubik's cube in my pants.
posted by jewzilla at 8:38 PM on April 15, 2007


Croc still hungry
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:41 AM on April 16, 2007


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