Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? Because you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name.

April 19, 2007 3:23 PM

Move over, crazy-pilotless-drone-guy. Alec Baldwin busts out the brass balls on his 11-year old daughter.
posted by phaedon (158 comments total)

some context: sfgate, tmz.
posted by phaedon at 3:24 PM on April 19, 2007

1. What in fuck?
2. I am such a good parent.

posted by Methylviolet at 3:28 PM on April 19, 2007

I guess he'll never run for president now.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:34 PM on April 19, 2007

Gee, tomorrow's going to be a fun day together for them.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:36 PM on April 19, 2007

Holy God in Heaven. Well, presumably she'll inherit plenty of money for years of therapy.
posted by tula at 3:36 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

You mean everyone's parents don't talk to them this way? Lol, my dad was pretty much Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross at all times while I was growing up.
posted by autodidact at 3:36 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

OMG
posted by grouse at 3:38 PM on April 19, 2007

Alec Baldwin is God. I was waiting for a sandwich in a deli in the Hamptons once when he walked in, and said, "I'll have a half-pound of cracked olives." Hopped back in his Mercedes, never saw him again.
posted by phaedon at 3:39 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I wonder if the plane Alec's getting on is a pilot-less drone drone drone?
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:39 PM on April 19, 2007

I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old

hahahahhahaha, awfulsome
posted by 23skidoo at 3:40 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

Requiste Simpson's parody
posted by geoff. at 3:40 PM on April 19, 2007

requisite
posted by geoff. at 3:40 PM on April 19, 2007

my dad was pretty much Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross at all times while I was growing up.

my dad was more like jack lemmon in the same movie. Buy you a drink.

(I'm sure baldwin's an asshole, but I doubt Kim Basinger's a saint in this whole exchange either just based on breakups I've been a part of or witnessed. It just a shame that people feel the need to drag their kids into it, or that we all get a voyeuristic kick out of listening in)
posted by jonmc at 3:41 PM on April 19, 2007

"I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone..."

Er, hi, they have these things called cellphones now, maybe you should look into that.

"It's 10:30 here in New York..." "When the time comes for me to make the phone call... at 11 o' clock in the morning in New York..."

Whoops, looks like you called half an hour too early! Insert coin.
posted by chrismear at 3:44 PM on April 19, 2007

Alec Baldwin is God.

But he's certainly no Hallaj.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:45 PM on April 19, 2007

I'm torn, in that while this is some over the top crap - everyone whose parents never once lost it and said shit they shouldn't have raise their hands...
posted by stenseng at 3:47 PM on April 19, 2007

You know who else left long rants on voicemail?

All kidding aside, there's probably more here than meets they eye. Sounds like he let his temper get the better of him, yes (he'd been known for such things in his youth), but I suspect the message was meant more for mommy's ears rather than for the kid, if he was trying to make a point. No way to tell.
posted by psmealey at 3:50 PM on April 19, 2007

Let's all hope that this is really just viral marketing for 30 Rock.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:52 PM on April 19, 2007 [6 favorites]

Well let's hope she really is a thoughtless little pig, otherwise those words will haunt her for the rest of her life.
posted by Flashman at 4:04 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Divorce brings out the best in people.
posted by ericb at 4:05 PM on April 19, 2007

Al hamdu lillalecbaldwin! Al hamdu lillalecbaldwin!

You shouldn't talk to an 11 year old that way EVER. But on the other hand? It's not exactly a secret that the man has balls.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:05 PM on April 19, 2007

miss lynster: know any Arabic (you parsed the juxtaposition properply)?
posted by Burhanistan at 4:09 PM on April 19, 2007

tomorrow's 4/20. they'll probably just smoke out together.
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 4:09 PM on April 19, 2007

This behavior is beyond common, whether or not it's disgusting. The only reason this is news is because Alec Baldwin is a celebrity.

Which doesn't make it news.
posted by Alex404 at 4:10 PM on April 19, 2007

properly also. Damn, I've made more typos and omissions in the 5 months I've been posting on this site than in my previous short life.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:10 PM on April 19, 2007

Been trying to learn it. I can read & write it a bit but am struggling with the rest... I have class tonight & haven't done my homework yet. Sigh.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:13 PM on April 19, 2007

I just came from the local greasy spoon where the table next to me had a mother and child--daughter looked like she was maybe 2--and, I shit you not, in conversation the mother said Fuck or Fucking 92 times in the time it took me to eat a grilled cheese sandwich. Yes, I counted.

Like the new math, there's a new kind of parenting.
posted by dobbs at 4:14 PM on April 19, 2007

It was bad, but I was especially stunned when he called her a nappy-headed ho.
posted by found missing at 4:17 PM on April 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

I am actually quite surprised that most of the comments I've read about this are more along the lines of "eh, my dad was a prick, too, who hasn't screamed at their kids?" than "OMG what about the children call DHHS get the kid in foster care how damaging to the fragile little psyche gag gag gag..."

Happily surprised, that is.
posted by tristeza at 4:20 PM on April 19, 2007

Next step (choose one):
A. Apologize to Al Sharpton?
B. Alcoholic.
posted by psmealey at 4:20 PM on April 19, 2007

So....who posted this? I hope to hell it was his daughter.

What a dick.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:22 PM on April 19, 2007

Haha. I don't give a damn that you're a child.

By my reckoning he says the following -

I/I've/I'm - 23 times

Me - 10 times

In 2 minutes 12 seconds. I'm not sure what his daughters name is.
posted by fire&wings at 4:22 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

tomorrow's 4/20

new kind of parenting

I'm all for it!

*pops in some eek-a-mouse*
posted by phaedon at 4:22 PM on April 19, 2007

You know who else left long rants on voicemail?

No. Who?
posted by grouse at 4:25 PM on April 19, 2007

My father.
posted by psmealey at 4:26 PM on April 19, 2007

And the reservation for Alec Baldwin's private room at [Promises/Crossroads/Wonderland/Cliffside] will be announced in 3... 2... 1...
posted by miss lynnster at 4:28 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Let's all hope that this is really just viral marketing for 30 Rock.

What's next, Tracy Morgan driving drunk down the Henry Hudson Parkway? Oh wait.
posted by phaedon at 4:29 PM on April 19, 2007

So....who posted this? I hope to hell it was his daughter.

Apparently, it was leaked by Kim Basinger and her attorney. What a lovely, caring woman.
posted by dhammond at 4:30 PM on April 19, 2007

Yeah, I'm with dhammond- why are we hearing this? It's not my business, and the usual disclaimer for "Why we have a right to see celebrities' dirty laundry" is if it's in service of outing a hypocrite. I.e., "gay escort service receipts for known homophobe and anti-gay fundamentalist" fun.
posted by hincandenza at 4:37 PM on April 19, 2007

This is part of a parental visitation rights dispute. I think all parents say things in the heat of the moment that seem really bad. The big question is whether it is part of a pattern of abuse. This seems sensation and gossipy and just right for readers of TMZ. Why is it on MetaFilter?
posted by bhouston at 4:43 PM on April 19, 2007

Lovely.

So dad loses it for reasons we have no background on and mom airs the dirty laundry for the whole world. Now the innocent kid - brat or not, she's only 11 - has not only been subjected to her father's wrath but now the possibility that she won't see her dad anymore (whether or not that's a good thing isn't something we could possibly know) AND the attention of the press over something very negative.

Man, am I glad my parents' biggest claim to fame is living next door to a city planner (sure, an ill-informed group launched a protest on my parents' lawn by mistake, but TMZ wasn't there with the action).
posted by katillathehun at 4:44 PM on April 19, 2007

Holy crap that drone guy was awesome, how did I miss that?
posted by Partial Law at 4:48 PM on April 19, 2007

Dear God! "Drone drone drone" has to be the next reason a political chatfilter post gets deleted!
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:51 PM on April 19, 2007

Yeah, I'm with dhammond- why are we hearing this?

Exactly. We're all "wow, what an assholem he's so horrible...play it again." Little hypocritical, don't you think? Not to mention, we hold celebrities up to an insane standard. If you looked at any of our lives with the intesnity that theirs get examined with, i doubt most of us would come out looking good.
posted by jonmc at 4:52 PM on April 19, 2007

That's not the Jack Donaghy I know.
posted by Ber at 4:56 PM on April 19, 2007

So, parents are no longer allowed to bitch out their children? Little oblivious Hollywood brat gets some sense talked into her, Mommy the Nutcase releases it on the internet, and now Daddy's going to have to go into rehab? Incredible.
posted by Optamystic at 5:04 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

The pilotless-drone guy's screed reminds me of Metatalk.

I bet he posts here.
posted by SweetJesus at 5:10 PM on April 19, 2007

'We're all "wow, what an assholem he's so horrible...play it again." '

I didn't even listen to it once - I turned it off in the middle because it made me so angry I got a stomach ache. Yeah, missing a phone call is definitely worthy of verbal abuse - gee, I wonder why she turned her phone off?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 5:16 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

Scottish answer machine rant
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:25 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

the ending is classic. did anybody else notice the way he inserts vital information in between tirades:

AND IM GONNA STRAIGHTEN YOUR ASS OUT, when i see you, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, IM GONNA REALLY MAKE SURE YOU GET IT, then im gonna get on a plane, and i'ma turn around, and i'm gonna come home, SO YOU BETTER BE READY, FRIDAY the twentieth AND IM GONNA LET YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT WHAT A RUDE LITTLE PIG YOU ARE.

as a person who drives my parents certifiable, but i know they still love me, i feel for alec.
posted by phaedon at 5:27 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

There are no pilotful drones, and I don't care if you are a 12-year old girl, coffee's for closers!
posted by steef at 5:31 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wow. It will never stop amazing me what people do when they don't realize that e-mail is for all practical purposes on the newspaper headlines, voicemail message is for all practical purposes broadcast on the six o'clock network news show.

As a private communication it's nothing. More than half the girlfriends I have known have either threatened suicide or the murder of myself when nobody else was listening.
posted by bukvich at 5:32 PM on April 19, 2007

I don't care who you are, or what kind of day you had. Calling your little girl a "pig" and threatening to spend a day "straightening her out" is inexcusable.

The fashion of the day is for celebrities to adopt the children of the hoi-polloi, but maybe we've got it backwards. Perhaps society would be better served if we unwashed masses could find it in our hearts to adopt celebrity children and save them from a life of being alternately crushed under the heels of/irreperably spoiled by entertainment industry narcissists.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 5:37 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

I was a child of divorce, and in my snottiest years, I can see this conversation happening with either of my parents, and I can see myself being deserving of the asshole-ripping.
posted by padraigin at 5:40 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

sgt.serenity, that was just marvelous. Everyone should have at least one insane ranting argument with a Scot at least once in their lives.
posted by tula at 5:50 PM on April 19, 2007

I'm just I didn't like and I don't think a parent should ever talk to their 11 (or 12 year old) child in that way, but I've probably had crap like that thrown at me when I was young - just blocked it out. Doesn't make it okay, but it doesn't make it any worse simply because he's a celebrity.
posted by liquorice at 5:59 PM on April 19, 2007

Scrap out "I'm just"
posted by liquorice at 5:59 PM on April 19, 2007

Either there are a lot of bitter custody-less dads here or y'all are hardcore contrarians. Or Alec Baldwin fanboys.

Why else would anyone defend this batshitinsane abusive rant?
What reason does anyone have to think ill of the 11-year-old daughter?
All we know is that she had her phone off at the time her dad had arranged to call her -- ?
Otherwise good parents flip their cookies, yes, but to that extent? And over as little as that?

Those of you who think this is OK -- please don't have children. Kthx.
posted by Methylviolet at 6:03 PM on April 19, 2007 [8 favorites]

MethylViolet, official proponent of the MeFi Care Bear Stare.
posted by phaedon at 6:13 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

and my youtube response to that
posted by phaedon at 6:15 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

the title in my browser window makes me think of this song...


I’ll tell you my name f u and c k
50ft queenie force ten hurricanes
Biggest woman I could have ten sons
Ten daughters ten queens
Ten foot and rising


as for Alec Baldwin... looks like he's got a really messy custody battle ahead of him. After this leaked (clearly from someone on the mother's side) I should hope the judge would reconsider. Anyone willing to stoop so low as to distribute this audio is clearly doing so with malicious intent.
posted by inthe80s at 6:19 PM on April 19, 2007

Methylviolet, would you care to share any other judgments about

• Domestic situations with which you are not familiar and about which you have no context?
• People you've never met?
• Other?

Kthx!
posted by Flem Snopes at 6:21 PM on April 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

That was fantastic, Phaedon. I love swear words!
posted by Methylviolet at 6:23 PM on April 19, 2007

Alec and Kim. Best. Parents. Ever.
posted by digiFramph at 6:28 PM on April 19, 2007

I was a child of divorce, and in my snottiest years, I can see this conversation happening with either of my parents, and I can see myself being deserving of the asshole-ripping.
posted by padraigin

Domestic situations with which you are not familiar and about which you have no context?
posted by Flem Snopes

There is no context, nor is anything accomplished by calling an 11 year old girl a "pig". Just because others here have parents who have sounded like this during their childhood doesn't make this less an example of crappy parenting. It simply means celebrity daughters aren't the only ones that receive it.

Having worked around parents and their children closely in the past, I'm not surprised by the recorded call. I am a little disappointed with the general reaction that she might have deserved it and hell "if our lives were examined so closely we wouldn't come out looking so great either". What nonsense. Perhaps he's a great parent the other 364 days a year, but on this particular day he failed.
posted by justgary at 6:36 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

This post makes me laugh so hard I want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
posted by HyperBlue at 6:37 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

[1]
posted by HyperBlue at 6:39 PM on April 19, 2007

Either there are a lot of bitter custody-less dads here or y'all are hardcore contrarians. Or Alec Baldwin fanboys.

Interesting assumption. Personally, I assumed many were, like me, the product of a broken home and/or less that Bradyland upbringing. Few have gone so far as to totally excuse this behavior, but perhaps those of us who have lived through the emotional charnel house that is [divorce/custody battle/child support battle/war for childs affection/other] (choose all that apply) realize that everyone in such a situation is an imperfect, irrational actor motivated by an insane and bewildering flurry of contradictory emotions all resting on a volcano of stress. Patience is a finite resource, even for the Buddha. I'm a little distressed (but unsurprised) by the lack of empathy I see displayed by some. "Inexcusable?" Hyperbole much? A couple of days ago was inexcusable. This is just tactless and thoughtless. Human traits, not inhuman ones.

Ultimately, though, the only thing that is inexcusable here is that this recording exists for us to hear at all. Just speaking from the child's point of view, I know how psychically destructive being a human battlefield is, but I cannot possibly imagine how much worse it would be had the rest of the world ridden right along with me.
posted by absalom at 6:40 PM on April 19, 2007 [8 favorites]

Whether or not she is a brat or she was behaving badly, she will remember her father calling her a pig. Forever.
posted by oflinkey at 6:44 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

As a Chicago native.... all I can say is, M-M-M-Moo and Oink!
posted by phaedon at 6:48 PM on April 19, 2007

Check out his Wikipedia page before they lock it.
posted by selfnoise at 6:49 PM on April 19, 2007

Man, that makes it hard to listen to him narrating Thomas The Tank Engine.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:50 PM on April 19, 2007

Whether or not she is a brat or she was behaving badly, she will remember her father calling her a pig. Forever.

Because the internet will never let her forget it.
posted by JDHarper at 6:50 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

Wow, well said, Absalom -- but speaking from the child's point of view, are you willing to speculate on how the child might have deserved it? Others here are, and it takes more than an un-Brady upbringing to explain such a stance. Now that is unkind and judgemental -- Alec on the other hand can probably take it.

The message was left on the girl's cellphone voicemail -- how would it have been released unless she played it for someone and consented that it be recorded?
posted by Methylviolet at 6:52 PM on April 19, 2007

This is just tactless and thoughtless.

Calling your 11 year old daughter a pig is simply "thoughtless"? Did you really write that?

You then compare it to the recent VT shootings to put it in perspective and accuse others of hyperbole? Wow.
posted by justgary at 6:56 PM on April 19, 2007

Man when I was a kid we used to have these neighbors, a fat woman in her 20s/30s and a little girl, toddler age.

Anyway, the woman would just tear the fuck into the toddler scream profanities at the girl call her a whore. I mean we're talking about a toddler here. I remember it happening at least two or three times -- I'm not sure how many. It was really depressing. I really wanted to do something about it, but I wasn't sure what you could do. Can you call the cops over simply yelling? (make a noise complaint) I think this was when I was in middle school, so 12-14 or so.

One time me and my mom and sister were going to go out for a bike ride and this little toddler came out and started asking my mom if she would be her mom. It was really tragic. :(

Anyway, as far as Baldwin yelling at his kid over the phone, well that's too bad, but the fact is parents do get angry and yell at their kids every once in a while. He lost his cool, it happens from time to time. People love their S.Os and yell at them and get into arguments, and it's the same with kids. When things are stressful, you're never going to keep up a perfect facade, people get angry in real relationships.

I think the fact that this was leaked to the media is pretty shameless, I'm glad it wasn't the daughter who did it (apparently)
posted by delmoi at 7:07 PM on April 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

I don't think I ever said anything to imply that the child did anything to deserve it, only that the situation cannot help but bring out the very worst in all involved.

And, yes, I called it thoughtless. I also called it tactless. I guess I will not be joining you in the Happy Hunting Grounds, or wherever else it is that perfect people go, but I'm not so sure I'd fit in there, anyway. Cos, everyone I know leaves the pitchforks locked up except in the most extreme, inexcusable circumstances and doesn't act like Child Services needs to be called every time a parent makes a bad decision, especially in the middle of what is presumed to be a private moment.

And, the only thing I am trying to put into perspective here is the hand-wringing and finger wagging. It's as if some here only have two settings "apathy" and "outrage."
posted by absalom at 7:08 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

The message was left on the girl's cellphone voicemail -- how would it have been released unless she played it for someone and consented that it be recorded?

Presumably the mom has access to the voicemail.
posted by delmoi at 7:08 PM on April 19, 2007

Yikes.
I thought I hated my father.
I was wrong.
posted by Dizzy at 7:12 PM on April 19, 2007

Because the internet will never let her forget it.

No argument there, although I don't think she'd necessarily need it to. He did a fine job all by himself.
posted by oflinkey at 7:16 PM on April 19, 2007

Well, maybe, Delmoi (intense story btw) -- but that would be really weird. I don't have access to my kids' voicemail, or email, or regular mail. Most parents don't, do they? If her mom does listen to her cellphone voicemail without her knowledge and consent... well, I'm thinking that's another thing she'll be telling her therapist ten years from now.
posted by Methylviolet at 7:18 PM on April 19, 2007

The message was left on the girl's cellphone voicemail -- how would it have been released unless she played it for someone and consented that it be recorded?
posted by Methylviolet at 6:52 PM on April 19 [+] [!]

I guess I was assuming that it had been recorded as "evidence" (with the consent of the daughter). However, that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it being "released".
posted by the other side at 7:25 PM on April 19, 2007

The child is a minor, she cannot be in a cell phone contract, and she does not need to give consent to have the message recorded.

Her mother would be on the contract, her mother would control the account and the voicemail attached to that account.

This is assuming it was leaked by the lawyer as said above.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:29 PM on April 19, 2007

I don't have access to my kids' voicemail, or email, or regular mail. Most parents don't, do they?

I have lots of friends whose parents snooped through their stuff when they were kids. It's not that uncommon.
posted by chrismear at 7:31 PM on April 19, 2007

Why else would anyone defend this batshitinsane abusive rant?
What reason does anyone have to think ill of the 11-year-old daughter?
All we know is that she had her phone off at the time her dad had arranged to call her -- ?
Otherwise good parents flip their cookies, yes, but to that extent? And over as little as that?

Those of you who think this is OK -- please don't have children. Kthx.

Agreed. There is no situation in which it is okay to scream like this at an eleven-year old. None. It happens, as people here seem to agree, but that doesn't make it right. It's abuse, period.

Like any other parent, I've lost it at times, but I've never hurled insults or threats at my son. This message is brutal. Nothing she could have done deserved this. Nothing. Those of you who think that she might deserve it, what exactly would this be the appropriate reaction to? What resources does an eleven-year old have to cause such anger? She "humiliated" him? WTF? She didn't answer the phone? (I don't blame her, if this is the kind of shit she had to listen to.) Is he also eleven years old? Jesus.
posted by jokeefe at 7:43 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

Thanks Methylviolet and The Light Fantastic for your points of view. For a 49 year old man to go ballistic, spew rageful obscenities at his 11 year old daughter, verbally abusing her by calling her a pig, intimidating her, putting down her mother...for a missed phone call is nuts.
posted by nickyskye at 7:46 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ynoxas: I wasn't using the term "consented" in the legal sense; someone can give consent even if they don't "need" to.
posted by the other side at 7:47 PM on April 19, 2007

You shouldn't give away your pie for breakfast

. . . it makes you look cheap.
posted by isopraxis at 7:47 PM on April 19, 2007

Well, maybe, Delmoi (intense story btw) -- but that would be really weird. I don't have access to my kids' voicemail, or email, or regular mail. Most parents don't, do they?

I don't have any kids, but I think I would certainly want that kind of access, at least at 11/12 and younger. But, I would certainly want to give them more privacy as they got older and into their teenage years. It would depend a lot on how much maturity the kid seemed to have, they really do mature at different rates.

It also comes down to a wealth issue too. Nicole Kid man could probably afford to hire someone to set up voice mail and everything. She could also even afford to subpoena the messages as part of the custody dispute if she really needed too.

Obviously we have no idea what happened, but I would hope the girl didn't decide to leak the audio.
posted by delmoi at 7:49 PM on April 19, 2007

Thanks Methylviolet and The Light Fantastic for your points of view. For a 49 year old man to go ballistic, spew rageful obscenities at his 11 year old daughter, verbally abusing her by calling her a pig, intimidating her, putting down her mother...for a missed phone call is nuts.

And when the hell is wrong with thinking of the children?!
posted by nickyskye at 7:51 PM on April 19, 2007

silver spoon syndrome, bro. i've seen some over-the-top brats in my time. i admit, 11 is a little young - probably hasn't hit the screwing-smoking-drinking-high-school-to-college-i'm-alec-baldwin's-daughter-nyu-theater-major-lets-go-to-my-parents-house-in-the-hamptons-and-get-wasted-who's-gonna-bring-the-eightball stage yet. so, i'd calm down a little before you start passing the garlic.
posted by phaedon at 7:55 PM on April 19, 2007

"Baldwin's spokesman said in a statement today that the 49-year-old actor will be "keeping his mouth shut and obeying court orders" in the best interest of the child.

"The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order," he continued."

link.
posted by liquorice at 7:59 PM on April 19, 2007

since my last link doesn't work unless you press return, let's not forget this Cory-Lidle-related headline:

Alec Baldwin Treated Like A Lesser Baldwin By NYPD Cop
posted by phaedon at 8:00 PM on April 19, 2007

Glengarry Glen Ross is a get out of jail free card as far as I'm concerned. And he still has The Cooler up his sleeve, so maybe next month he can call her a piece of shit.
posted by Roman Graves at 8:05 PM on April 19, 2007

Glengarry Glen Ross is a get out of jail free card as far as I'm concerned.

I tried using this logic at a bar recently, using Gary Glitter and "Rock and Roll, Pt. 2". I think your example works a lot better.

Like they say, there are only two things that can kill your career in Hollywood - a dead girl, and a live boy.
posted by phaedon at 8:12 PM on April 19, 2007

I'm not defending what he said, or projecting anything on the kid. I just know I listened to it through a certain filter based on my own experiences.

I also have two preschool-aged children, and they can be challenging, and sometimes the voices in my head sound just like Alec Baldwin, to be quite honest with you.
posted by padraigin at 8:34 PM on April 19, 2007

Isn't it nice to see that Methylviolet is still her lovely, forgiving self?
posted by dhammond at 8:37 PM on April 19, 2007

Was it just me or did all of that seem like code for "I'm going to whup your ass, the next time I see you?" Back when I was just little, that's what my mom would say when we were out in public and I was misbehaving...
posted by BeReasonable at 8:44 PM on April 19, 2007

I tried using this logic at a bar recently, using Gary Glitter and "Rock and Roll, Pt. 2".

You should have gone with "Thriller".
posted by Roman Graves at 8:46 PM on April 19, 2007

To everyone who's saying, "Why are we hearing this, except for the fact that it's a celebrity who said these things?" ---

Alec Baldwin is one of those celebrities who think that his acting skills and fame give him a "bully pulpit." It seems that we are hearing constantly of some political opinion that he is foisting on the public.

I find it very funny, and very appropriate, that Baldwin, who presumes to have the public listen to him about political matters, has been revealed to be, well, crazy.

That's important information to have about someone like Baldwin who is asking you to take seriously his views about important matters.
posted by jayder at 8:46 PM on April 19, 2007

Isn't it nice to see that Methylviolet is still her lovely, forgiving self?

dhammond -- I don't see the connection between Methylviolet's opinions about the climbers, and the disapproval of a grown man screaming threats and abuse at his eleven-year-old daughter.

Please elaborate on the connection you see there.
posted by jayder at 8:50 PM on April 19, 2007

Am I the only one who had decent parents, people I respect today, who essentially gave this talk to me at numerous points, perhaps couched in slightly nicer language? But the message was the same. Looking back on it now, some of it was ridiculous, and some was well deserved.
posted by maxwelton at 9:00 PM on April 19, 2007

I heard many of the same things growing up. Got called a pig and was made to oink while being held up off my feet against the kitchen wall. I was in 5th grade and I had left a towel on my bedroom floor.

I thought I blocked it out, but as it turns out I didn't. I have carried that crazy shit with me to every relationship (romantic, friends, work) that I have ever had. It took a very long time to realize it wasn't everyone else who was the asshole.

I know if I had a kid I would be just like Baldwin. The one screaming and freaking out and calling my kid a piece of shit for some petty mishap. The one later who would be crying and begging for understanding and forgiveness. Then I would repeat it again ad nauseum.

So yeah, I understand Alec. And I understand what the kid feels like, too. That is the fucked up part. This is so imprinted on this little girl for life.

That is to say, if this isn't viral marketing at its worst.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:11 PM on April 19, 2007

It's as if some here only have two settings "apathy" and "outrage."

What are you, the irony patrol? People don't think it's cool for a dad to call his 11-year-old daughter a "rude little pig," and they said so. It's not like anybody here is filing an official complaint against the guy (which actually happened with Michael Jackson). So I'm inclined to ask: In your mind, what exactly would the halfway mark between "apathy" and "outrage" look like, in this instance?

Isn't it nice to see that Methylviolet is still her lovely, forgiving self?

Yeah, you might want to rethink your tactic of resurrecting a 4-month-old comment to stoke your grudge and then waving rhetorically to everybody else, "C'mon guys, are you with me?!" Because I don't think that's going to end the way you had hoped.
posted by cribcage at 9:12 PM on April 19, 2007

I guess I will not be joining you in the Happy Hunting Grounds, or wherever else it is that perfect people go, but I'm not so sure I'd fit in there, anyway.
posted by absalom

There's a middle ground. You act as if you don't agree that his rant is more than just "thoughtless" you grew up in the brady bunch or live in a fantasy world. Basically, what cribcage said.

Anyway, as far as Baldwin yelling at his kid over the phone, well that's too bad, but the fact is parents do get angry and yell at their kids every once in a while. He lost his cool, it happens from time to time.

It's actually hard to believe you even listened to the voice mail. To characterize it as yelling and losing his cool would be completely misleading to anyone who hadn't heard the audio.

People love their S.Os and yell at them and get into arguments, and it's the same with kids. When things are stressful, you're never going to keep up a perfect facade, people get angry in real relationships.
posted by delmoi

You're actually comparing what happens in an adult relationship with partners who choose to be together with a father calling his 11 year old daughter (well, he's not sure) a pig?

There really should be some kind of course couples have to take before having children.
posted by justgary at 9:24 PM on April 19, 2007

I can't belive I'm admitting this but when I was 11, I was barely able to remember to wash myself properly on a regular basis. There is no way I would have been able to keep a cell phone in my possesion and functioning, forget keeping an appointment to be available for a predestined phone call. When you're 11, isn't your day supposed to go something like... get up, wander around the world exploring, do you best not to get mamed, killed, or stolen, go home when it gets dark, eat food watch tv (the whole time promising to do homework), got to bed?
posted by Wonderwoman at 9:30 PM on April 19, 2007 [4 favorites]

There really should be some kind of course couples have to take before having children.

That, or the baby-making part should be a painful thing instead of orgasmo-rific.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:31 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

I guess I missed the memo where Alec Baldwin berating his daughter is actually any of your fucking business. Which is kind of funny for me to bring up since I posted the news here. But if I had to pick between the harsh language that sometimes was used by my father to set me straight, and a complete stranger sticking their nose in my family's affairs to tell my dad he was wrong, I'd go with the former. Six ways 'til Sunday.

So I guess I'll laugh at somebody else's expense, but I'm a little over telling people what to do. Or how to think.
posted by phaedon at 9:31 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

But when I was eleven, and my life wasn't really particularly dysfunctional mind you, I was a selfish pig who occasionally tried to manipulate my parents against one another. I'd be really surprised if one of them hadn't pointed it out at some time or another, and even more surprised if they'd never gotten angry about it. It just doesn't happen to be documented by tabloid internet.

The vibe I got from this wasn't that it was a onetime missed phone call, it was that he'd taken his ration of shit from his kid and her mom and he had hit his limit. I don't think it's really up for discussion whether he handled it well, but I'm a little surprised that this out-of-context voicemail message means his whole character as a father is being called into question by strangers.
posted by padraigin at 9:36 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'd go with the former.

Ya know what? Fuck that. That shit needs aired out and each parent needs a public shaming. That is generally what can stop that kind of abuse, the secret getting out.

But if you want to take it in silence, go right ahead.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:39 PM on April 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

But if I had to pick

Did she get to pick?
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:41 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I guess I missed the memo where Alec Baldwin berating his daughter is actually any of your fucking business. Which is kind of funny for me to bring up since I posted the news here.

"Kind of" funny? Dude, I just sprayed milk out my nose while reading that sentence. And I wasn't even drinking milk.

a complete stranger sticking their nose in my family's affairs

Yes, because posting "THAT SUXX" on a website is exactly like knocking on Alec Baldwin's door and lecturing him for not obeying Dr. Spock.

I'm a little over telling people what to do. Or how to think.

"AND YOU SHOULDN'T, EITHER!!"

Help me to understand something. You posted the recording as an FPP; and then, when a bunch of people rather predictably respond by saying, "Hey, that's not cool, what he did," you pop in with your Righteous Stick to club everybody who fell for your bait. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that pretty much the definition of trolling?
posted by cribcage at 9:47 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

That's right dude. Air it out, and while you're at it, throw all the kids that get yelled at in DCFS. Let's see that village in action. Better yet, who needs guardians? Let's just get rid of child labor laws. Or better yet - why don't you pay for their education.

I'm done being cynical about this subject. I can't believe we've reached a point where we are so fucking touchy about other people's family problems. You want to hold a city hall meeting about name-calling in families? Go right ahead. But you better goddamn do it for every family, all the time. Install cameras in every home. Direct feed to the DA's office. And then report to me how much sense that makes sense from an institutional perspective, Mr. Big Brother Man. And then come back to me, that hey, families can be shitty sometimes, but that's life homeboy. Maybe we just don't have full perspective on this particular voicemail. Maybe calling somebody a pig shouldn't land you in county.

on preview: i didn't post "THAT SUXX" anywhere on this post, and it's generally not my style. i'll credit you with my acceptance that we are going to disagree on this situation, and leave it at that. the only reason i'm moving on some of these comments is because you've managed to ruin a light and humorous thread with your righteous stick, and even attack people who might have had to live with some abuse, and hey you know what, turned out allright.

Again, unless I missed the memo, and all babies are born with a pair of wings and a halo over their head, I don't see how its even remotely possible to think that negative reinforcement isn't going to play a role in child-rearing at any point, ever.

So yeah, I'm asking for trouble, but lighten up already.
posted by phaedon at 9:59 PM on April 19, 2007

You're actually comparing what happens in an adult relationship with partners who choose to be together with a father calling his 11 year old daughter (well, he's not sure) a pig?

If people could control their emotions, they would never yell at their Significant Others. But they can't. A relationship between a parent a child is a very close one, and you get the good and the bad. It's crazy to imagine that someone could keep their cool every day of every week of every month for 18 years. If one of my parents yelled like that to me at that age I'd shrug my shoulders and wait for them to calm down, or yell back. I mean it's not like kids can't be awful to their parents too.

I know for myself, and I'm guessing for other people, that when I defend Baldwin I'm also defending my own parents. My mom was hardly perfect, certainly not all the time, but I think she did a pretty good job.
posted by delmoi at 10:01 PM on April 19, 2007

"A relationship between a parent a child is a very close one, and you get the good and the bad."

My kids had to live through a divorce and they pissed me of to the point of spittle flecked screaming but I never called them names and never used my ex, their mom, as a weapon. And, I reserve the right to denigrate some 3'rd rate hack actor for being such a prick to his own child. Or anyone else child.
posted by arse_hat at 10:15 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

while you're at it, throw all the kids that get yelled at in DCFS. ... You want to hold a city hall meeting about name-calling in families? Go right ahead.

Okay, I get it. You're just completely insane, right?

You posted this clip; a bunch of people made jokes, and a couple other people said, "That sucks. He shouldn't have done that." Now, you're obviously reacting pretty strongly to some volatile, offensive thread whose majority of participants are calling for immediate legal sanction against Baldwin — but I don't know where you're reading that thread, 'cause it ain't on MetaFilter.

So either you're confused, or you honestly can't distinguish between saying "He shouldn't have done that" versus "He needs to be put in jail and then lynched!!" — in which case you probably want to avoid telling other people to "lighten up."

Also, again: For somebody who just finished patting himself on the back for not telling other people what to do or how to think, you're spending a lot of energy lambasting people who have replied to your post. Something to think about, maybe.
posted by cribcage at 10:22 PM on April 19, 2007

Well I hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings. I'm all for the public shaming thing. I don't know where I started seeing red, but I think it was some time after the Care Bear Stare.
posted by phaedon at 10:23 PM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

But the Care Bears -- worth the price of admission, that Care Bears video.

YoBananaBoy has it (and I'm sorry that you have it, YBB) -- hearing harsh words from your parents, as opposed to your girlfriend, is devastating precisely because you have no frame of reference for your relationship with your parents. They present the world. They construct your frame of reference. Utterly, at first, then only partially but still controlling much of your interaction with the world. That's why it is so important to break the silence. Kids who are belittled tend to blame themselves. They don't know any better, until they are exposed to a new perspective.

Is this behavior OK? No, it is not. It's not as bad as getting lost in the mountains, I grant you, but as our only piece of evidence on Alec Baldwin's relationship with his daughter, it aint good. As YoBananaBoy says, this stuff has an effect; it had an effect on him. Anybody want to say it didn't, not really? Or to speculate on what a brat he must have been to deserve it, or what stress his parents must have been under as if that made it not merely understandable but OK?
posted by Methylviolet at 10:25 PM on April 19, 2007 [5 favorites]

you're spending a lot of energy lambasting people who have replied to your post. Something to think about, maybe.

Hm, I need an energy-star tattoo to symbolize my low-wattage kerfuffles
posted by phaedon at 10:31 PM on April 19, 2007

I need an energy-star tattoo...

Effigy2000 can hook you up.
posted by cribcage at 10:42 PM on April 19, 2007

If people could control their emotions, they would never yell at their Significant Others.

If you call you your girlfriend a pig, as long as you haven't beaten her down she could very well leave. She has that choice. The power is much more evenly split. This girl is 11 and doesn't have the same choice, the same power. Those are two different relationship types and it's bewildering you're trying to compare them (and again, it's not just yelling. The insults, the putting down of the mother etc.)

I know for myself, and I'm guessing for other people, that when I defend Baldwin I'm also defending my own parents. My mom was hardly perfect, certainly not all the time, but I think she did a pretty good job.

It's not defendable. He may be a good parent, but this was bad parenting. You're parents may have been great parents, but if they called you abusive names that was bad parenting. Because you came out ok doesn't excuse it nor mean the same thing would happen for someone else.
posted by justgary at 11:24 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

All I can say is... if I could go through the childhood I did and end up learning how to have a loving relationship with my parents in the end, which I do, then Ireland Baldwin can get over this and grow up to have a loving relationship with her father. So I wouldn't make any blanket statement assumptions that the girl's relationship with her father is screwed up for life because of this. Absolutely anything is possible.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:48 PM on April 19, 2007

I'm the son-of-a-bitch that my mother raised. I know I am a son-of-a-bitch, my mother told me often. The bitch died this month, and I'm not especially sad, and didn't bother to fly home for the funeral. I quit talking to her in 2001. The bitch told me, with glee, that she voted republican. It was the kind of glee intended as a slap in the face.

Maybe Mr. Baldwin shouldn't call his daughter a pig. Maybe it's exactly the right thing to say to get her to improve her behavior. I can't imagine how the parenting game works with a divorce going on.

I do know how difficult it can get for a parent to suspend daily activities to make a personal phone call at an appointed time during the day. I do know how that can be when engaged in showbiz.
posted by Goofyy at 12:22 AM on April 20, 2007

YoBananaBoy has it (and I'm sorry that you have it, YBB) -- hearing harsh words from your parents, as opposed to your girlfriend, is devastating precisely because you have no frame of reference for your relationship with your parents. They present the world. They construct your frame of reference. Utterly

Oh, come on. That's obviously true of a toddler, but obviously not true of an 18 year old (or a 30 year old). Growing up is a gradient, and I would imagine that some 11 year olds are mature enough deal with it, and it depends on the child's relationship with their parent. I know for me personally it wasn't that big of a deal (I don't want to give the idea that my mom yelled at us very often, she didn't at all. But it did happen, and when it did we just kind of rolled our eyes).

Sometimes it seems like people think of all children as if they were all infants or toddlers until they turned 18 or something. Some of them are actually capable of rational thought. I don't know baldwin's kid, so I'm not going to speculate about this specific example
posted by delmoi at 12:25 AM on April 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

If you call you your girlfriend a pig, as long as you haven't beaten her down she could very well leave. She has that choice. The power is much more evenly split. This girl is 11 and doesn't have the same choice, the same power. Those are two different relationship types and it's bewildering you're trying to compare them (and again, it's not just yelling. The insults, the putting down of the mother etc.)

Well, I'm not saying it's OK what I'm saying is that it doesn't make the guy a horrible person. Comparing two things does not mean that they are exactly the same.
posted by delmoi at 12:28 AM on April 20, 2007

I couldn't listen to all of that message... I dislike being directly exposed to the madness of someone's toxic familial relationship.

Everyone's family is a little bit crazy, but this is just too much...
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:24 AM on April 20, 2007

My parents fucked me up more severely with manipulations of guilt and disappointment far more than any name-calling ever could have. There were times when I would have preferred the name calling... at least that would have been out in the open.

But I have no idea WTF any of this is about and neither do any of you. Listening to a couple of minutes of Baldwin ranting doesn't make me an expert on his parenting and cause me to get on my high horse about it. I don't know what kind of issues Baldwin has, I don't know whether he expected his daughter or his daughter's nanny or his ex-wife to pick up the message. I don't know if this rant is about simply her not picking up the phone at the specified time, or if there's a much more involved series of events leading up to it.

Also, it's kind of easy to lose your shit on voicemail and say utterly regrettable things if you're tired, frustrated, angry, drunk, needing your med, etc.

That doesn't excuse or condone any of this, and while I agree that it sounds utterly awful, but not knowing all I don't know above tells me that I should probably reserve comment about it. What I do know is that it was a private moment now playing out in public and that's not quite right.

That said, let's get back to the funny stuff.

Pilotless airplane, pilotless airplane, pilotless airplane, pilotless airplane... Drone, drone, drone, drone, drone, drone, drone, get it?

Here he is again
posted by psmealey at 2:38 AM on April 20, 2007

Hm, I need an energy-star tattoo to symbolize my low-wattage kerfuffles

You're my fucking favorite.

I don't know, maybe I'm fucked in the head, but this just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I got called much worse things by my parents, and maybe I'm not well adjusted (are any of you?), but I'm not in therapy either.

People do crazy shit when they get mad, and it's not like 11 year olds are exempt from driving someone to that brink.

You've never called your kid something shitty? Ok, you're a better person than Alec Baldwin. But considering the number of people that replied to this; the law of averages says you probably also cheated on your wife/husband, beat somebody smaller than you up once, uttered a racial slur, tore the tag off the mattress, or laughed at a 9/11 joke. Also, you weren't in Beetlejuice.
posted by Roman Graves at 2:53 AM on April 20, 2007

Story is on the CNN home page.

Someone better call Dr. Phil and Oprah so we can get around to scheduling a national day of healing.
posted by psmealey at 4:26 AM on April 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

This is such a non-issue. Don't feed the TMZ trolls. Every parent loses their shit once in awhile. Pre-teen/teenagers can be monsters, especially if they were raised with silver spoons and decide to play their two rich parents off of each other.
posted by NationalKato at 6:49 AM on April 20, 2007

Also, you weren't in Beetlejuice.

He's got you there. ;-)


As a parent embroiled in some similar dealings right now (and the victim of parental abuse), I speak with some experience here: it's real easy to lose your temper, and go too far, so on that side, I understand his feelings. However, for him to be so pointed and insulting, uncool to the Nth, mah man. I've lost my temper when it comes to my son -- plenty of times, mind you -- but I don't insult him. Usually the tirades are about how he's better than this awful behavior/he should be ashamed of himself for being inconsiderate/he needs to wise up quick or life's gonna beat the crap out of him when it doesn't hand him what he wants when he wants it. The basic lesson of handling a brat (if he perceives his daughter as such) is that life is about compromise and not acting like you're the center of the goddamned universe. And he can handle it angrily, to be sure, but without the horrid insults. His daughter, at worst, is a brat, granted... but using direct insults is unacceptable.

But at the same time, I don't advocate jailing the guy or keeping him from his daughter indefinitely. Christ almighty, it was a mistake, not a crime.

Thanks for your time; enjoy the coffee cake.
posted by grubi at 6:58 AM on April 20, 2007

I finally listened to the call.


I just joined Team Basinger. That is all.
posted by konolia at 7:07 AM on April 20, 2007 [2 favorites]

Look at the bright side: That little girl now has the drive and motivation to grow up to be a great entertainer.

Make papa proud, sweetie.
posted by LordSludge at 7:14 AM on April 20, 2007

I just joined Team Basinger.

Because leaking the details of a family dispute involving a child to the press is so admirable. When that kid grows up this recording will still be around to taunt her. And Alec Balwin isn't the one who released it.

A plague on both their houses, really.
posted by grouse at 7:15 AM on April 20, 2007

I just joined Team Basinger. That is all.

I know you probably meant that to be tongue-in-cheek, konolia, but that's exactly what disgusts me about this sick, voyeurstic culture we live in. Lives of the Other, of the rich, of the famous, is sport for us. Because people live in the public domain, we own the rights to every aspect of their lives. There may be some seriously twisted shit going on with these people, yet we can glibly pretend we understand it deeply and feel like we need to have a position on it. We have plumbed the depth of Baldwin's soul, having heard his vmail rant. We can make fun of Britney Spears having shaved her head, while it's possible she's in severe psychological distress. And why? Because she annoys us? She offends us on some level? Because we know them?

Fuck, we all need to get lives.

Sorry for ranting, and I apologize if you didn't meant it in the way I took it. You overall seem like a good person, but this sort of thing really, really bothers me.
posted by psmealey at 7:15 AM on April 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Alec Baldwin's message is only half of the fucked up his daughter probably has to deal with. To get the full effect, you'd have to also hear the two hour+ rant her mother likely launched into about how her father is either a worthless piece of shit and/or mentally ill on the front and back side of the recorded message.

At least that's the way I remember these kinds of scenarios playing out when I was about the same age as Alec Baldwin's daughter.

It was embarassing enough to hear my parents pull this sort of shit in front of my friends in middle school, I can't imagine what it would be like to have it broadcasted to the world.
posted by thivaia at 7:57 AM on April 20, 2007

Hmmm -- I write: [Your parents] construct your frame of reference. Utterly, at first, then only partially but still controlling much of your interaction with the world.

Delmoi writes: [Your parents] construct your frame of reference. Utterly

Oh, come on. That's obviously true of a toddler, but obviously not true of an 18 year old (or a 30 year old). Growing up is a gradient

So in other words, Delmoi -- your parents construct your frame of reference utterly, then only partially? Breaking where you did was -- due to a sudden failure of reading comprehension? Or are you merely dishonest?
posted by Methylviolet at 8:03 AM on April 20, 2007

Count me among the ones who think this is a gross violation of privacy, awful as the tirade is. Leaking this was disturbingly malicious, and at least as damaging to the girl as the voicemail itself, if not more so.
posted by Dr. Boom at 8:10 AM on April 20, 2007

Not to generalize, but okay I will. Here I go. Many many many actors are narcissists. Duh. I dated one or two when I lived in LA. They're just kooky. And famous actors? Many many many are freakin' nuts. Goes with the territory of being surrounded by sycophants all the time. In real life, if you have a fault in your personality the people around you will keep it in check... but that doesn't happen with a lot of these people. So that fault? It often grows into a bigger personality trait. So while most people wouldn't think to scream that way at an 11 year old, in Alec Baldwin's world he's being a responsible parent by putting her in her place the way he would put his agent in his place.

In good times and bad, celebrities often live by different rules than you and I, and that includes their parenting styles. Whether it's Kirstie Alley giving her children a life-size baby giraffe rocking horse or Debbie Reynolds giving Carrie Fisher a vibrator for her 16th birthday... there are just things that go on in celebrity households that just don't happen in the average middle-class house most of the time. But to those kids it's NORMAL, they don't know of any different way of living and a lot of celebrity kids have friends who are also the children of famous parents. The world of celebrity children is a different world than the world we raise our children in, their reality a different reality. Whether it's right or not, it's just kind of the nature of the beast.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:11 AM on April 20, 2007

[Profoundly glad my parents were nobodies. My childhood was dramatic enough without it.]
posted by miss lynnster at 8:13 AM on April 20, 2007

It is a shame that this was leaked to the public, but to take something good from it I now appreicate my parents more. Judging from some of the comments:

Every parent loses their shit once in awhile. Pre-teen/teenagers can be monsters, especially if they were raised with silver spoons and decide to play their two rich parents off of each other.
posted by NationalKato

Not being insulted at 11 is something of a rarity. I feel very lucky. I mean, I knew it happened. I've seen bad parenting. But I had no idea I'd see so many comments blaming the child.
posted by justgary at 8:23 AM on April 20, 2007

I'm with you psmealey. While I don't condone what he did, I have been privy to much worse, and I turned out okay.

I think the folks picking teams and gathering pitchforks need to step back and realize they may not or never will know all the facts and understand the situation.
posted by Big_B at 8:28 AM on April 20, 2007

Main Entry: con·done
Pronunciation: k&n-'dOn
Function: transitive verb

: to regard or treat (something bad or blameworthy) as acceptable, forgivable, or harmless

In a nutshell...
Post: X does Y
Commenter A: It's not good to do Y.
Commenter B: You need to chill out, A -- what the fuck do you know about X, and the unique circumstances under which Y occurred?! I don't condone Y, but obviously it is acceptable, forgivable, and harmless. Stop firebombing X's house and raping his mother right now!!1! Your ranting hyperbole just shows everyone what a terrible, terrible person you are.

A smaller nutshell:
Debate: Screaming insults at your child -- pro or con?
A: Con
B: You judgemental bastard!
posted by Methylviolet at 9:33 AM on April 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's a delightful combination of strawman with a hint of reductio ad absurdum.
posted by psmealey at 9:38 AM on April 20, 2007

I know you are but what am I?
posted by Methylviolet at 9:50 AM on April 20, 2007

Quite the arguing skills you have there. Hope that helps you get off the mountain some day.
posted by Big_B at 10:21 AM on April 20, 2007

You people don't have the brains or the decency as human beings. I don't give a damn that you're (insert age here) years old, or that your mother/father is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this post!

/scene
posted by miss lynnster at 10:23 AM on April 20, 2007 [3 favorites]

Not to derail (can you be derailing if you're commenting on an overlooked part of the post?), but I know that drone guy. I see him sometimes on the bus on my way home from work. He's crazy. Crazy-go-nuts.

The last time I saw him he came on the bus, insisted on closing on the windows (it was a nice day) of the crowded double carriage bus, and then started whistling really loudly. I didn't know anyone could whistle that loud. Anyway, he's whistling his song, and this girl on the bus tried to engage him in conversation, ostensibly as a way to shut him the hell up. Which was really gracious of her, as I was about to just yell "shut the hell up." So she asks him what he's singing, and is chatting crazypants up. She gets off at her stop, and as soon as she does, drone guy starts talking (yelling, really) about how rude it was for this girl to be asking him all these questions while he's trying to whistle his song. For literally about 10 minutes he goes on and on about how outraged he is, how she's a bitch, and how his brother is just like that, how he's a huge nerd who doesn't have any sense of what's appropriate in a social setting(!), etc. It was amazing.

The most surprising thing about it, is that he's a tall skinny black man, which didn't match his voice at all. I can't really describe what his accent was, but he had a... theatrical affection? It almost sounded kind of upper class New England-ish? He certainly was performing for the entire bus...
posted by danny the boy at 11:45 AM on April 20, 2007

Except for being famous, and not including the voices that tell me The Secrets Of The Cake, I pride myself on being an actor who is relatively normal.
Can't wait to get famous and go batshit.
posted by Dizzy at 11:56 AM on April 20, 2007

By the way Diz... present company excluded on that whole ACTOR assessment up there. You rock. Most stage actors are cool. I was just remembering my old Hollywood House of Blues days... and those movie celebrities never ever ever baked me date bars like you do.

And the dates I had with actors? Were kinda painful. Ever had someone do their entire comedy routine on you for a first date? I mean, seriously... kill me now.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:14 PM on April 20, 2007

On Alec Baldwin's website:

Thank you to everyone who has posted messages of suppport and understanding. Naturally, it is not best for a parent to lose their temper with their child. Everyone who knows me privately knows that I have endured a great deal over the last several years in my custody litigation. Everyone who knows me privately knows that certain people will go to any lengths to embarass me and to disrupt my relationship with my daughter.

In such public cases, your opponents attempt to take a picture of you on your worst day and insist that this is who you are as a person. Outside the doors of divorce court, I have friends, I have respect from people I work with and I have a normal relationship with my daughter. All of that is threatened whenever one enters a court room.

Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child. I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my child. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. ( Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case.

Once my book is published, I'm sure more people will understand the incredible strains created by parental alienation. In the meantime, I'm sorry to anyone who's taken offense from this episode.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:19 PM on April 20, 2007

miss l you make me happy
because stage actors don't get the cash and the fame
and that's alright because I made a conscious effort
to do a different kind of work and
I feel pretty secure in my talents and
I let direct human audience contact
wash over me and it feels good
but I must admit when I work on
a movie or tv show for a few weeks or days
everyone serves me things and genuflects and
that can be addictive ("Would you like your water chilled or at room temp sir") but dang
it feels even better to be breathing the same air as my observer
and I'm not using punctuation tonight but thank you.
posted by Dizzy at 4:28 PM on April 20, 2007

I beat the shit out of my kids regularly, but trust me, if you had to put up with them, you'd be beatin' on them, too.
posted by jayder at 4:51 PM on April 20, 2007

I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated,

He made a pun?
posted by Methylviolet at 5:43 PM on April 20, 2007

I haven't read all of the comments because there are too many, so sorry if I'm repeating something someone else said. I am a woman, and I have dated a few guys who have an ex wife and kids. The ex wife often tells the kids that their father is an asshole etc., and the father suffers. I feel sorry for him - he's undoubtedly paying a ton of child support for a kid that is being brainwashed by her mother.
posted by WaterSprite at 6:13 PM on April 20, 2007

1) What, no batshitinsane tag?

2) He needs to get away for awhile. I understand some kind-spirited, charitable people bought him a few airplane tickets a few years back...
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:05 PM on April 20, 2007

The mom responds.
posted by Methylviolet at 12:17 PM on April 24, 2007

Alec explains.
posted by Methylviolet at 8:36 PM on April 28, 2007