Hair today

May 17, 2007 9:57 AM

Bald? A swift blow to the head might solve that problem. If nothing else, it will give you something else to worry about for a while. Note: procedure tested on mice; results in humans may vary. Possible side effects include gaping head wounds. via Slate
posted by veggieboy (36 comments total)

"You grew your hair back? How?"
"With a stick, stupid! How else? Tree bark is rough enough that I didn't even have to hit that hard. Five or six smacks and it opened up real nice!:
posted by Wolfdog at 10:01 AM on May 17, 2007

if you suffer from erectile dysfunction, i can be persuaded by a modest fee to kick you in the balls.
posted by bruce at 10:17 AM on May 17, 2007

There's already a sure fire way to prevent male-pattern-baldness.

It's called castration.
posted by pjdoland at 10:19 AM on May 17, 2007

Lordy. What does it say about my current mood that the first thing I thought was that now I can go around slapping every bald men I see upside the head "for their own good?" I could be a hero.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:24 AM on May 17, 2007

Speaking as a bald guy, I'll keep the baldness and skip the blows to the head, thanks anyway.
posted by sotonohito at 10:25 AM on May 17, 2007

No no no, a thwop to the head cures AMNESIA, but only if a similar event caused the amnesia in the first place. I saw it on TV (I think the Flintstones) so it must be true. They couldn't put it on TV if it wasn't true, right?
posted by davy at 10:35 AM on May 17, 2007

I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:36 AM on May 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fuck hair.
posted by The Straightener at 10:36 AM on May 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

We just witnessed the next trend for the tattoo/branding/piercing crowd: designed hair patterns.
posted by oddman at 10:40 AM on May 17, 2007

Not only am I the (OWWW!) President of (OWWW!!) the Slapped Upside the Head Men's Club for Hair Regeneration (OWWW!! DAMMIT THAT HURT!!), but I'm also a (OWW!! YOU LITTLE FUCK, I SAID NOT TO USE THE ALUMINUM BAT TODAY!!), But I'm also a (OWW!!) c-c-c-c-customer. (whimper.)
posted by Skygazer at 10:44 AM on May 17, 2007

I'm just fine with the hair I've got--what's left of it, anyway--but thanks for the offer.
posted by Joe Invisible at 10:54 AM on May 17, 2007

Dr. George Cotsarelis Little Bunny Foo Foo, a dermatology professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine in Philadelphia who led the study...
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2007

Ah, Wolfdog reads this blog.

My first thought when I saw this article was that suddenly a lot of Crongressmen are going to be rethinking their stance on stem cell research. "Cures baldness, you say? Errrrrrr. Let's let the scientists do their job."
posted by MsMolly at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2007 [2 favorites]

Can we as a culture please stop obsessing over hair loss? Seriously. Stop with the advertisements for Rogain and Hair Club for men and for the love of god, please stop poking holes in mice!

There is nothing wrong with being bald. Sam Jackson is bald. So is Bruce Willis, and Vin Diesel. Big strong virile men have embraced the fact that there is nothing bad about having a shiny lid, so can you.

So please, please, please stop with the research. Particularly if that research involves you stabbing rodents. That just seems silly and wrong.
posted by quin at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2007

Bald is beautiful, or at least unavoidable for some of us. Besides, it saves so much time when I can shave in complete arcs from my chin to my crown. I won't even go into the benefits I'm doing to the steel industry. In fact due to the 5 blades on my razor Billy Joel is going to have to rewrite Allentown into an upbeat song.
posted by substrate at 10:57 AM on May 17, 2007

The only problem about going bald is that society assumes I'm self-conscious about it. I'm only self-conscious about people thinking I'm self-conscious.
posted by Plutor at 11:01 AM on May 17, 2007

Personal testimonial: In the year before I met my now-ex-wife, I discovered that I was losing my hair. For the next 16 years spent regularly pounding my head against the wall, my hair loss stopped. I'm now living happily alone and don't look at my head in the mirror much... just a second... OMYGOD! IT'S ALL GONE!!!
posted by wendell at 11:08 AM on May 17, 2007

My great aunt, who passed away at an old age many years ago, had been rendered bald as a child when she flew off a swingset and landed on her head. She was quite bitter and angry her entire life because of her condition. Her father never forgave himself for the accident (he was the one pushing her). So anyway, apparently a blow to the head can work either way.
posted by vito90 at 11:16 AM on May 17, 2007

Folks, we're looking at understanding regeneration here. Yeah, it's hair regeneration, and perhaps that's the kind of impetus SCIENCE! needs to do the research. But if they find the mechanism behind this... what sort of molecular machinery and signals are going on here, perhaps it might be applied to more than just hair growing. Normal skin growing back at wounded areas. Someone might pick up that research and apply it to more than just the cosmetic.
posted by Mister Cheese at 11:21 AM on May 17, 2007

My first thought - the poor mice! Being hit on the head now, they are? Oy, the agony! Oy the shame!
posted by cavalier at 11:28 AM on May 17, 2007

Three bald men walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
posted by phaedon at 11:37 AM on May 17, 2007

via Slashdot.
posted by oddman at 11:47 AM on May 17, 2007

Actually, I find some bald men really hot. Just sayin'.

But I still am in a mood to slap people upside the head for their own good. It'll pass.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:54 AM on May 17, 2007

I'm just glad that in the modern world white guys can shave and not be thought of as skinheads. I'm 33 when I started going seriously bald around four years ago I had long hair. Of course, nothing looks more pathetic than a bald guy with long hair.

So now I don't spend anything on shampoo or conditioner, but I spend a fortune on razors and shaving cream.

I really do feel for women who end up with pattern baldness. It isn't socially acceptable for them to shave so a lot wind up buying wigs and whatnot. Seems like it'd be both more expensive and more inconvenient than shaving. I wonder if society will mature to the point where women who shave don't get harrassed or if we find a cure for baldness first.
posted by sotonohito at 12:15 PM on May 17, 2007

I wonder how the folks at PETA feel about this study?
posted by caddis at 12:29 PM on May 17, 2007

On the Internet, I have hair.
posted by veggieboy at 12:34 PM on May 17, 2007

“Little Bunny Foo Foo”

No, no, no. It's Little Rabbit Foo-Foo, dammit.

“Actually, I find some bald men really hot. Just sayin'.”

Ooh, ooh, pick me!

“So now I don't spend anything on shampoo or conditioner, but I spend a fortune on razors and shaving cream.”

Actually shaving my head to baldness is far too much trouble for me to do on a regular basis. Instead, about every two months I just use electric clippers with no attachment to cut what hair I have down to the skin. Occasionally I'll shave it. But then I let it grow back to a quarter-inch or so and then repeat the process.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:23 PM on May 17, 2007

No, no, no. It's Little Rabbit Foo-Foo, dammit.

"little rabbit foo foo" = 10,000 results on Google
"little bunny foo foo" = 48,000 results on Google

I am teh winnar. ["teh winnar" = 11,000 results]
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:05 PM on May 17, 2007

Meanwhile, "slap upside the head" = 48,500 results
posted by miss lynnster at 2:29 PM on May 17, 2007

and for the love of god, please stop poking holes in mice!

NEVAH! Meat is murder, but vivisex is fun.
posted by Sparx at 2:35 PM on May 17, 2007

Ethereal Bligh I tried the buzz cut look, but I'm bald enough naturally that it really didn't look good, so its shaving every day for me.

Also, Horace Rumpole is right, its *bunny* not rabbit. Little rabbit foo foo just sounds silly.
posted by sotonohito at 2:58 PM on May 17, 2007

sotonohito : Little rabbit foo foo just sounds silly.

In my head, this line was narrated by a very solemn sounding Morgan Freeman.

Which was pretty much perfect.
posted by quin at 3:12 PM on May 17, 2007

“I tried the buzz cut look, but I'm bald enough naturally that it really didn't look good, so its shaving every day for me.”

It's probably the same for me. I don't doubt I look better with it shaven, not just buzzed. But it's still way too much trouble.

“Little rabbit foo foo just sounds silly.”

Bunny sounds silly to me. At any rate, the Google fight doesn't settle the matter. All those with taste and appreciation for the finer things in life will agree that it's Little Rabbit Foo-Foo.

As Michele Tepper so ably argued:

In addition to the two unimpeachable cites that have already been posted which support the righteous rabbit cause, I would direct your attention to the 1449 manuscript, now held at the Bodleian, of “Rabbits Leapyinge-Tale” attributed to a poet of Suffolk, although the metric system -- so reminiscent of the Scottish Chaucerians -- has led some to contest that attribution of late. It's quite clear that the rabbit version is the originary one, and the “bunny” tale a degraded variant.

posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:09 PM on May 17, 2007

You know they probably just stumbled across this. One day in the lab, someone says, hey George, that mouse you have been stabbing seems a lot hairier than the other mice.
posted by Mr_Zero at 5:48 PM on May 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ooo, my balding boyfriend had a scalp wound recently. Am gonna check.

(not that it will work, the wound needs to be wide enough for the hair follicles stranded in the middle become activated, which his wasn't. still, means I get to poke him in the head and tease him some more about being bald)
posted by shelleycat at 7:59 PM on May 17, 2007

I don't believe the article about scientists thinking (until now) that you couldn't grow new folicles. I can't be the only one to have noticed that new folicles gow in scar tissue, where previously there was none.

If it's true that folicle regeneration in scar tissue wasn't known, then all I can say is that these "scientists" need to go play in traffic... and then watch what happens to their bodies as they recover over the next few years :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 3:19 AM on May 18, 2007