He's a Pepper!
June 7, 2007 12:18 PM   Subscribe

 
Let's all be Peppers!
posted by infinitewindow at 12:26 PM on June 7, 2007


So... those wheel chairs are capable of hitting 50 without falling apart?

Interesting.

*Rubs hands together in a mad-scientist sort of way*

also, and as an aside;

Holy. fucking. shit.
posted by quin at 12:28 PM on June 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


yes
posted by milarepa at 12:29 PM on June 7, 2007


Yeah, the shirt really does do it.
posted by OmieWise at 12:31 PM on June 7, 2007


AWESOME!
posted by phrontist at 12:32 PM on June 7, 2007


Batshitinsane sums it up neatly, I think.

I think I would have had a lot of fun in that situation, if I weren't too busy worrying about the chair coming unstuck or falling out or something.

Also, how do you not notice you've hit someone in a wheelchair?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:33 PM on June 7, 2007


Jesus, infinitewindow! You should put some kind of warning on a link like that.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:34 PM on June 7, 2007


brian peppers or GTFO
posted by foot at 12:35 PM on June 7, 2007


Also, how do you not notice you've hit someone in a wheelchair?

Mass ratios and a big blind spot. Hell, a truck like that? It's easier to describe the see spots.
posted by cortex at 12:35 PM on June 7, 2007


the man in the wheelchair was unharmed and unfazed by the incident

What? You have got to be kidding. Were I somehow attached to the front of a semi-truck by the handles of my wheelchair, I hardly think "unfazed" is how I would feel. I think my first thought would be, "Holy shit" and then my second thought would be, "I f I live through this I'm going to need a change of pants and some toilet paper."
posted by dead_ at 12:36 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hats off to you, crazy Dr. Pepper lovin' wheelchair ridin' dude!
posted by TungstenChef at 12:41 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


I was going to quote the same sentence, dead_. Is there anything in the world that would make this guy nervous?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:41 PM on June 7, 2007


Awesome! What was that "unique"device on the wheelchair mentioned on the video that supposedly saved the young man's life? My video stream was choppy and I couldn't make out what was said.
posted by jaimev at 12:41 PM on June 7, 2007


dead_ - promptly followed by the thought "can i sue?".
posted by triv at 12:42 PM on June 7, 2007


Oh. My. God.

That is all.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:45 PM on June 7, 2007


On the Long Island Expressway I watched as a subcompact zoomed into the gap in front of a semi in traffic, the trucker didn't realize someone had gotten in there and just kept moving forward. The subcompact driver got all pissed off and slammed on his brakes, and the trucker kept moving forward scraping the guys locked wheels on the highway. The trucker looked genuinely confused that something was wrong with the drive-train on his truck, and it took a lot of waving and honking from other cars before he realized what was going on.

(The sub-compact driver just got madder and madder and clamped his brakes down harder, which I've always thought was a pretty strange thing to do, under the circumstances.)
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:46 PM on June 7, 2007


911 calls of the incident.
posted by jaimev at 12:48 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


So that kid was attached to the truck for nearly five minutes? That is a long fucking time.

Unfazed? I believe it. Because after two minutes you have already had just about every terrifying fucking thought you can possibly have. After that it's all sequels. And they are never as good.

By minute 3, after screaming your lungs out and failing to frantically get the attention of the stunned motorists as you zip by them, I suppose you may just be thinking...

"Well. This is certainly an ironic way to die."

I have found in life threating moments of terror it is incredible how, no matter how tight your sphincter has retracted, or how many loads you already dropped into your shorts, your bowels always have little squirt in reserve.
posted by tkchrist at 12:55 PM on June 7, 2007 [6 favorites]


Wow. Just....wow.
posted by dejah420 at 1:02 PM on June 7, 2007


I bet the only thing that would have made that experience just a tad more fucking awesome for both the driver and the man in the chair is a huge blast of Michigan's finest bathtub meth.
posted by The Straightener at 1:10 PM on June 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


It's really striking how the 2nd and 3rd 911 callers sound like they're about to shit themselves too, hyperventilating and screaming and stuff.... while the 1st and 4th callers just seem to be mildly surprised and not at all disturbed by the situation.

Guess we all react to crisis in different ways, but, wow.
posted by crackingdes at 1:16 PM on June 7, 2007


Remember kids, buckle up!
posted by pupdog at 1:28 PM on June 7, 2007


The report I saw mentioned the only thing that happened to him was that he spilled his soda.


Or was it just a clever way to explain why his pants were wet?
posted by tommasz at 1:36 PM on June 7, 2007


We need more posts with the zoomzoom tag.
posted by grouse at 1:36 PM on June 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


So nice to know that viral marketers hire the handicapped.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:39 PM on June 7, 2007


5 bucks says he hooked his chair onto the grille on purpose.
posted by davelog at 1:42 PM on June 7, 2007


Dear MeFi,
One question I have is about the death-approaches/loss of sphincter control.

I have been too near to death many times - falling from heights, surprised by big shark, oncoming tornado, boats impacting at night in storm, facing the embodiment of all evil, etc - and yet this has never happened.

What I am doing wrong? Is this meant metaphorically?

Signed,
Concerned but unembarrassed.
P/S I am not a superhero. I'm just interested.
posted by humannaire at 1:46 PM on June 7, 2007


So nice to know that viral marketers hire the handicapped.

Yeah -- I'm with 'ya. The folks at Cadbury Schweppes have been mighty pissed-off that Coke has gotten so much mileage for the whole Diet Coke/Mentos Geyser craze. C-B just had to find a way to get some attention for their beverage product.
posted by ericb at 2:02 PM on June 7, 2007


Davelog, I'm not going to take that bet, I think you've got a good chance of winning it.

I don't see how a truck could run into someone on a wheelchair from behind, not to mention hitting them in the middle of the grille.

I guess we don't hear all the stories about wheelchair riders getting hit from the side and ground under the bumper, but still... either Dr. Pepper was driving along in the middle of the lane and didn't notice the truck, or if he was really crossing the street, when he saw the truck bearing down on him he turned away from it rather than just hitting the juice and trying to scoot past.

Either way, sounds fishy. Glad to hear he survived.
posted by anthill at 2:03 PM on June 7, 2007


From what I've read, loss of sphincter control isn't unusual but by no means is universal.
posted by pax digita at 2:04 PM on June 7, 2007


One question I have is about the death-approaches/loss of sphincter control.

easy-peasey. I suspect that the answer is akin to why some have an "inny," while others have an "outty" belly-button. Your sphincter "puckers," while others "sputter!"
posted by ericb at 2:04 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]




During his interview the father mentioned that replacing the two tires was the only repair required for the motorized wheelchair ... and just in time for Ben to go to his Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp on Sunday. He'll have quite the story to tell his fellow campers!
posted by ericb at 2:14 PM on June 7, 2007


Your sphincter "puckers," while others "sputter!"

Thank you. My mind is now blown for what I have learned today on Metafilter.
posted by humannaire at 2:17 PM on June 7, 2007


I'm glad you're ok after your harrowing experience, Q.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:18 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


All conjecture on my part! BTW -- I'm an "inny" and a "puckerer" (as learned every time I look over the edge of an ever-so-high balcony or skyscraper roof -- YMMV) ;-)
posted by ericb at 2:20 PM on June 7, 2007


BTW, according to this interview with Ben Carpenter's dad, Ben is going to muscular dystrophy camp this Sunday.

Guess who's Big Man At Camp this year?
posted by humannaire at 2:26 PM on June 7, 2007


I thought "getting all up in my grill" meant something completely different.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:28 PM on June 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


Dear MeFi,
One question I have is about the death-approaches/loss of sphincter control.


I like you have often "nearly died". Often directly after uttering the fateful words "Hey, watch this!" which I now refrain from uttering. Ever. Again.

I have fallen from cliffs, trees, buildings and bridges. I have ridden my bicycle. Atop a moving car. Because it tried to run me over. I have have flung my body into the air only to rediscover gravity in the most painfully direct ways imaginable. I've had bears rummage through my camp, I've had cougars startle me and swarms of angry bees chase me. I've discovered scorpions in my bed, and I've willfully, stupidly chosen to skateboard on and off of ridiculously stupid things.

But I've never, ever been so scared I shit my pants and lost control of my bowels. Drunk, yes. Scared, no.

I have, however, bailed on my skateboard while riding down a dirt cliff and landed on my tailbone so hard I started farting uncontrollably for a number of minutes. But that wasn't fear, that was just pain so bad it felt like I punctured my GI tract with my vestigial tail lumps. And I'm still mad as all hell at my brother for laughing so much.

Shut up, you! Stop laughing! It wasn't funny!


Thank you. My mind is now blown for what I have learned today on Metafilter.


I'm pretty sure that wasn't your mind. Unless you have your head up... oh, wait. Sorry. Nevermind! Carry on!
posted by loquacious at 2:35 PM on June 7, 2007


I always suspected that Jerry Lewis was capable of throwing one of his "kids" under a bus just to garner a little free publicity, but this time he's gone too far!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:36 PM on June 7, 2007


I would have been shouting "Paw Paw for Jesus" the whole time.
posted by drezdn at 2:42 PM on June 7, 2007 [4 favorites]


"It was quite a ride."
posted by taosbat at 2:50 PM on June 7, 2007


humannaire -- jinx. You owe me a Coke -- err, I mean, a Dr. Pepper!
posted by ericb at 2:50 PM on June 7, 2007


During his interview the father mentioned that replacing the two tires was the only repair required for the motorized wheelchair ... and just in time for Ben to go to his Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp on Sunday. He'll have quite the story to tell his fellow campers!

Having just gotten back from the dealership with the news that they'll be keeping my chair overnight because the transaxle's gearbox is stripped ("How in God's name did you do this? I've seen people drive these down entire flights of stairs with only cosmetic damage!") I want to know what brand of chair this kid has.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 2:58 PM on June 7, 2007


The report I saw mentioned the only thing that happened to him was that he spilled his soda.

If that isn't an euphemism for something then it should be.
posted by furtive at 3:18 PM on June 7, 2007


I cannot believe so many comments - and so many referring to 'shitting ones pants' - and NOBODY has yet said:

He wasn't a Pepper, he was a Pooper!
posted by wendell at 3:23 PM on June 7, 2007


That's not gonna end wheel, man.
posted by cortex at 3:24 PM on June 7, 2007


thank you for chairing that, cortex.
posted by quonsar at 3:27 PM on June 7, 2007


Spaceman_spiff, that's what I was thinking about- I would have expected a smoking mass of twisted metal where the transaxle used to be. If it had been a car, I might have popped it into neutral and prayed, but is that even an option with a power chair?
posted by pupdog at 3:31 PM on June 7, 2007


"We're live in Paw Paw."

It happened yesterday, and they've got live coverage today. (And that bumper-cam... wow. They're going to win an emmy, for sure.)
posted by Dave Faris at 3:32 PM on June 7, 2007


Meh. I won't be impressed til I see a whole convoy of trucks, each one pushing a guy in a wheelchair at speeds exceeding 60 MPH.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:43 PM on June 7, 2007


Meh. I won't be impressed til I see a whole convoy of trucks, each one pushing a guy in a wheelchair at speeds exceeding 60 MPH.

Wheelchair-Semi Basketball will be where it's at in a couple of years. Those 'Murderball' guys got nothin' on this...
posted by pupdog at 3:50 PM on June 7, 2007


And I'm still mad as all hell at my brother for laughing so much.

It's only funny until someone gets hurt, then it is hilarious!
posted by eriko at 3:52 PM on June 7, 2007


Meh. I won't be impressed til I see a whole convoy of trucks, each one pushing a guy in a wheelchair at speeds exceeding 60 MPH.

Wheelchair-Semi Basketball will be where it's at in a couple of years.


You guys aren't thinking big enough.

Think NASCAR.

Yeah, wheelchairs at 200. It will be awesome.
posted by quin at 3:58 PM on June 7, 2007


Gotta agree with anthill The report on CNN says the man got the handles on his chair stuck in the grille at a gas station. The report in the FPP says he was crossing a street when it happened. The geometry just doesn't make the latter story likely to happen.
posted by forrest at 4:24 PM on June 7, 2007


Cannot wrap my mind around this. Holy shit.
posted by ColdChef at 4:44 PM on June 7, 2007


I just want to say that this ended just down the road from my office, and I was in Paw Paw yesterday morning. I'm totally surprise the wheelchair didn't disintegrate hitting potholes and crap in the construction zone on the way out of Paw Paw.

That is all.
posted by glycolized at 4:51 PM on June 7, 2007


crackingdes : It's really striking how the 2nd and 3rd 911 callers sound like they're about to shit themselves too, hyperventilating and screaming and stuff....

I just noticed that the third caller, Jen, says that "her client" just got hit by a truck. So it sounds like she knew the guy in some capacity. Which makes a little more sense as to why she'd be freaking out. It's not like she is calling about some stranger.
posted by quin at 4:54 PM on June 7, 2007


Suicide attempt.

Nice job, 911 callers. You couldn't let him go out in a blaze of glory, so now the guy's got to find a cliff to drive off of, and that's no easy trick in Michigan.
posted by Optamystic at 4:58 PM on June 7, 2007


Michigan seems like a dream to me now...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:03 PM on June 7, 2007


Gotta agree with anthill The report on CNN says the man got the handles on his chair stuck in the grille at a gas station. The report in the FPP says he was crossing a street when it happened. The geometry just doesn't make the latter story likely to happen.


Carpenter was from Alamo and he was on Red Arrow Highway in Paw Paw. He turned when he saw a nameless truck, out of nowhere.
posted by Huplescat at 5:06 PM on June 7, 2007


GLASS: Act one - "Bigger Wheels"... (affected, then awkard pause)

Now, Ben Carpenter has muscular dystrophy. He's in a wheelchair. Twice a week he leaves the care home - on his own - and visits the mall, or the cinema. This is in Paw Paw, Michigan by the way... One such outing last spring is one he will not quickly forget.

911 OPERATOR (RECORDING): You need to calm down, ma'am, I've got help on the way.

GLASS: He was waiting at the light, ready to cross Red Arrow Highway - let's let him tell the story.






I mean come on, someone phone TAL.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:14 PM on June 7, 2007


Frankie says relax
posted by Eekacat at 5:15 PM on June 7, 2007


Like train surfing only... no it's pretty much exactly like train surfing.
posted by basicchannel at 5:16 PM on June 7, 2007


Paw Paw Wheelchair Blowtorch.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 6:00 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Here's one fad that's now due for updating. (See also.)
posted by rob511 at 6:01 PM on June 7, 2007


foot writes 'brian peppers or GTFO'

OK, here he is.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:18 PM on June 7, 2007


this is why i hate people who complain there's nothing to do in southwest michigan ... you can always find something if you try hard enough
posted by pyramid termite at 8:48 PM on June 7, 2007


HAH! Your so called "brushes with death" do not impress me or my bowels.
posted by tkchrist at 10:56 PM on June 7, 2007


kirkaracha wins.
posted by spock at 11:42 PM on June 7, 2007


Spaceman_spiff, that's what I was thinking about- I would have expected a smoking mass of twisted metal where the transaxle used to be. If it had been a car, I might have popped it into neutral and prayed, but is that even an option with a power chair?

Yes, you can put most powerchairs in neutral (at least, all the ones I've seen in the last 5-ish years) - before that was an option, it used to really suck if your battery crapped out and you weren't near an outlet. I was just impressed that the chair as a whole held together - I wonder how high off the ground the grille kept it. "All-steel chassis" ain't what they used to be, but apparently his held together.

Yes, I'm jealous.
posted by spaceman_spiff at 3:44 AM on June 8, 2007


*cranks up Foghat’s ‘Slow Ride’*
posted by Smedleyman at 10:13 AM on June 8, 2007


why doesn't my town ever get on metafilter for something brilliant... like, a new nasa launch facility or perhaps a visit from the pope? ... D:
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:16 PM on June 8, 2007


Man, that third caller stressed me out so much listening to her that I had to stop a couple of times before the recording finished. Honestly, she started to piss me off.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:01 PM on June 8, 2007


« Older Embryo-free Embryonic Stem-Cells   |   New Trial for Julie Amero Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments