Ponce de Leon finds the fountain of youth... on my back!

July 14, 2007 2:55 PM

This is the best news my moley ears have heard all day!
posted by (bb|[^b]{2}) (20 comments total)

I don't really have moles on my ears
posted by (bb|[^b]{2}) at 2:56 PM on July 14, 2007

This was the best news I heard.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:58 PM on July 14, 2007 [6 favorites]

Sounds to me like the moles are a sign of healthiness, not a cause. Still, they can't be that healthy or I'd probably have an urge to bone moley people.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:03 PM on July 14, 2007

And the award for most pointless non sequitur resulting in a flag goes to kuujjuarapik.

I'm going to outlive all you fuckers, and then get cancer as a result of the mole on my back. Fiddle sticks.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:14 PM on July 14, 2007

hot damn. my body is a variable plethora of moles. i guess i better start saving up for my retirement now.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 3:20 PM on July 14, 2007

Speaking as a moley person... you should welcome us, your moley overlords.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:26 PM on July 14, 2007 [2 favorites]

People with moles on their skin live longer because of expectation of cancer. They watch.
posted by Mblue at 3:34 PM on July 14, 2007

Mblue, the whole point of the article is a correlation between telomere length and mole count, not death from cancer.

ie: rtfa
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 3:57 PM on July 14, 2007

Orange Pamplemousse wow, great handle!.

I rtfa, it's just an off the wall comment. "Serious" and myself are not good friends.
posted by Mblue at 4:04 PM on July 14, 2007

I don't have moles. I have a mole. It's fairly large, like maybe the size of a small head living on my shoulder.

In fact, it's a lot like a small head on my shoulder. It even has eyes.

Sometimes I like to just zone out and let him run the show. In fact, many of my most favorited posts here are actually his.

Of course, I'm the only one who can see him.

And I don't know if I'll live longer because of him. In fact, he's usually the one telling me to 'kill all the humans', so I'm guessing probably not.
posted by quin at 4:18 PM on July 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

".. the best news my moley ears have heard.."

I have an ear infection today. I think I have moldy ears. =(
posted by ZachsMind at 4:24 PM on July 14, 2007

miss lynnster writes 'Speaking as a moley person... you should welcome us, your moley overlords.'

I'm breeding an army of Hydatidiform Moles. We're gonna be resisting our Melanocytic oppressors
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:51 PM on July 14, 2007

Yeah, just try. Our telomeres can kick your chromosomes' collective asses.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:10 PM on July 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I guess this means forty more years of Robert De Niro phoning it in.
posted by neckro23 at 7:08 PM on July 14, 2007 [4 favorites]

Bleh, the headline is misleading. It says people with moles have longer telomeres, which is associated with youth, but it doesn't prove they actually live longer. That may not be the case, they didn't do any actual lifespan study.
posted by delmoi at 8:28 PM on July 14, 2007

This is good news for Saul of the mole-men.
posted by davejay at 9:50 PM on July 14, 2007

This seems like standard "scientists say X" fare.

Now might be a good time to revisit this thread.
posted by Reggie Digest at 5:07 AM on July 15, 2007

I WILL LIVE.....

FOREVER!


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhackhackwheezewheeze
posted by Samizdata at 12:35 PM on July 15, 2007

Someone has to say it:

Holy Moly!
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:12 PM on July 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

If it's true, it will finally give me some explanation as to why the Cindy Crawford-type beauty mark mole is considered attractive.

We have a long cultural history of favoring things that actually act as subtle signs of health or genetic fitness, like facial symmetry. And, I guess, moles.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:58 AM on July 16, 2007