Bring these back tomorrow

July 30, 2007 11:34 AM

How Ohio lost 800,000 Social Security numbers.The Inspector General identified Jared Ilovar as "a 22-year-old, $10.50-an-hour employee" hired just three months earlier, who received his assignment from…another intern. The intern reported to a $125-an-hour consultant, who reported to another $200-an-hour consultant… too bad for Ohio that Jared decided to speak out.
posted by mrgrimm (38 comments total)

Poor kid.
posted by ba at 11:43 AM on July 30, 2007

"The Inspector General's report shares a crucial recommendation from Gartner Inc and other security analysts: encrypt data before storing it off-site, and secure it like cash."

Related: pants first, then shoes. Ohio ftw.
posted by cortex at 11:43 AM on July 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

I love how you're supposed to keep your social security number secret, but up until recently many universities used to require them as your primary ID number. I shudder to think how many tests and homework assignments required me to write it next to my name. Meanwhile, have you ever tried to get a new SSN? You can't, until you can prove you have been victimized. Nice.
posted by mullingitover at 11:45 AM on July 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

fucking ohio. god i hate ohio.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2007

Maybe leaving data backup tapes in your car over the weekend is serious enough to get an intern fired. But the people who gave an intern sensitive unencrypted data apparently without instructions about how to handle it should definitely be fired.
posted by demiurge at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2007

Now class, what have we learned here?

Never try to insert an intern into the Chain O'Consultants™.
posted by tommasz at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2007

You can't, until you can prove you have been victimized.

I've recently learned this for myself, as over the past two months, I have failed to get three social security cards in the mail.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:55 AM on July 30, 2007

Four months ago 22-year-old Jared Ilovar — who's studying computers at DeVry University

He's studying computers. What aspect of computers is he studying exactly? How heavy they are? How to blow the dust out of the little holes in the plastic?

My mom always said I was good at computers, so I'd like to know how they are teaching computers at DeVry these days.
posted by psmealey at 11:59 AM on July 30, 2007

Leaving information so valuable in the hands of someone paid so little is madness, or more accurately, criminal negligence. They may as well have given him bags of money to take home for the night.
posted by mullingitover at 12:19 PM on July 30, 2007

2nded, Baby_Balrog.

This would happen in Ohio. Hey, at least they didn't have the interns taking home (for safe keeping) the big box of rare coins, or as they call it: the entire state employee pension fund.
posted by indiebass at 12:19 PM on July 30, 2007

I've never been to Ohio, but I have ascertained from Drew Carey that there's nothing remotely humorous about it. So I guess this story fits the profile.
posted by BorgLove at 12:27 PM on July 30, 2007

What a dumbass - next time, hire a Data Storage firm.
posted by four panels at 12:47 PM on July 30, 2007

But the people who gave an intern sensitive unencrypted data apparently without instructions about how to handle it should definitely be fired.

As per the links, they were.
posted by solid-one-love at 12:49 PM on July 30, 2007

Two things:

He said he'd sometimes take home a data tape to ensure there was an off-site version of the data.
- Who would allow anyone to take information like this offsite and/or to their home?

And the city police force has since offered a whopping $500 reward for the return of the data.
- I guess the police really [don't] want this stolen data back.
posted by Rashomon at 12:51 PM on July 30, 2007

My mom always said I was good at computers, so I'd like to know how they are teaching computers at DeVry these days.

I've worked with 3 newly minted DeVry graduates, two of whom were outstanding people who really knew their stuff. The third, on the other hand, was dumber than a box of rocks. He had managed to get an IT degree without learning even the basics of computers. I had to explain what the Task Manager was and how to open it.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:02 PM on July 30, 2007

As an Ohioan, just don't even get me started. A lap-dance ban goes into effect in our state September 4th, for example. Brought to you by the same people who pushed the gay marriage amendment.
posted by chlorus at 1:04 PM on July 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

Leaving information so valuable in the hands of someone paid so little is madness...
More like par-for-the-course these days. Gotta hold to the bottom line, y'know.

Who would allow anyone to take information like this offsite and/or to their home?
Apparently, the over-paid consultants.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:05 PM on July 30, 2007

not deVry-ist. My comment had more to do with how the article was written. "Studying computers" just struck me funny. As it happens, the smartest, most gifted s/w architect I have ever worked with came from deVry. I have also worked with other deVry grads who were also very, very good developers.
posted by psmealey at 1:08 PM on July 30, 2007

No one should be taking sensitive information home with them at night as part of off-site storage. An "oh shit" backup should be off site in case of some natural disaster (fire, flood, earthquake) but it should be a college student's dorm room.
posted by inthe80s at 1:10 PM on July 30, 2007

shouldn't be... ugh... preview first, preview first...
posted by inthe80s at 1:11 PM on July 30, 2007

I'm one of the 800,000 Ohioans who won't be voting for Gov. Ted Strickland (D) next time around.
posted by LakesideOrion at 1:35 PM on July 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

They are banning lapdances? How un-American of them.

Sounds like DeVry has something in common with ITT. We have hired, and subsequently fired, a few ITT grads, one of whom was an honor grad or some crap like that, due to their complete inability to perform.

Q: What are the requirements to get into a computer program at these schools these days?
A: $$$$$
posted by a3matrix at 1:42 PM on July 30, 2007

I can confirm that ITT, at least, requires only the ability to pay tuition to meet their entrance requirements. I went there, I should know... absolute waste. You get the dregs of society in that place. It's really depressing, actually, because the people are usually trying to better themselves in some way. They end up with a worthless degree, no knowledge, and about $40,000 in debt. No job prospects. I got quite lucky, since I had a natural affinity for UNIX, and was a hobbyist, so I managed to secure gainful employment doing something I love, and am really fucking good at, despite going to the Worst "School" in America. Never ever ever go there.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 1:50 PM on July 30, 2007

"As an Ohioan, just don't even get me started. A lap-dance ban goes into effect in our state September 4th, for example. Brought to you by the same people who pushed the gay marriage amendment."

See you in Michigan!

(And this whole story has once again confirmed that deeply-held Michiganian belief that Ohioans are retarded, possibly by environmental causes.)
posted by klangklangston at 1:59 PM on July 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

I've expressed my feelings more eloquently regarding fucking Ohio in previous threads. Fuck Ohio - their government is a joke, they don't know how to vote properly and they outlaw lapdancing. And they fucking stole Toledo from Michigan and they all know it in their tiny little Ohian hearts.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:09 PM on July 30, 2007

I read this, and I sort of like Jared. So here's my PR advice for him.

Whenever you are asked a specific question about what you did on your job, begin and end every answer with "As a $10.50 an hour intern..." Because you know what? Anyone who gives this kind of sensitive information to AN INTERN needs to be thrashed. If I were Jared, I would have taken those datatapes on a grand tour of mid-america Ohio, and I would have posted the photos on my blog.

"Hey there, Ohio! Today, me and 800,000 of your social security numbers are having a quick dinner at Denny's. I'm having the Chicken Club, but good ol' Data Tape is having the Moons Over My Hammy.

Uh oh, somebody dropped their toast! Looks like any reitree with a last name beginning in 'A' is going to get strawberry jam instead of Social Security this month. Silly Data Tape!"

I'd even give him his own MySpace page. You load up myspace.com/datatape and it starts playing Kraftwerk's "Pocket Calculator".

Data Tape and I would have a grand old time.
posted by Pastabagel at 2:14 PM on July 30, 2007 [5 favorites]

And they fucking stole Toledo from Michigan and they all know it in their tiny little Ohian hearts.

I have a hunch that they would give it back if you asked nicely.
posted by Kwantsar at 2:16 PM on July 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

In other Ohio news: In Violation of Federal Law, Ohio's 2004 Presidential Election Records Are Destroyed or Missing
posted by homunculus at 2:54 PM on July 30, 2007

Oh, Ohio. If America were a sitcom, Ohio would be Urkel.
posted by Biblio at 3:03 PM on July 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

I always considered Ohio more of a "Larry the Cable Guy." I.e., completely unfunny, depressing, ugly, smells bad, hairy, and above all: I forget, but fuck Ohio.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 3:13 PM on July 30, 2007

Data Tape and I would have a grand old time.

"Day 23. I never knew being pistol-whipped would hurt so much, but I think being surrounded by Secret Service and FBI agents at the mall was worse. I mean, we were just going on a shopping trip—I thought a nice vest with roomy pockets would be the perfect new living quarters for you, Data Tape. It certainly worked better than on top of the TV, where the last intern kept you!

"But alas, it wasn't to be, and now they've separated us—you back in the hands of the state of Ohio, me in a lockup somewhere south of Dayton with $100,000 sitting between me and making bail. If only we'd stopped by the bookstore before the pistolwhipping to look up the definition of 'whistleblowers that don't act like putzes,' and then additionally looked up 'pound-me-in-the-ass prison.'

"Now what am I going to do with this vest?"
posted by chrominance at 3:13 PM on July 30, 2007

"And they fucking stole Toledo from Michigan and they all know it in their tiny little Ohian hearts."

Who said I had a heart? And fuck lapdancing, you should see some of the skanks advertised in the local papers here. "Dockside Dolls," indeed.
posted by Liosliath at 3:25 PM on July 30, 2007

Highly-suspicious voting machine fuckups, rare-coin scandals in the state government, SS-numbers missing ... sounds like Ohio's leading the nation in corrupt/incompetent government to me.
posted by Twang at 5:00 PM on July 30, 2007

Didn't Sublime have a song about a Data Tape?
posted by Eideteker at 6:34 PM on July 30, 2007

sounds like Ohio's leading the nation in corrupt/incompetent government to me.

I think Washington, D.C. has that distinction.
posted by chudmonkey at 7:37 PM on July 30, 2007

Yeah but the pussy in Ohio is second to none. Lots of corn fed grade A farm girls milling around the countryside.
posted by jimjam at 12:32 AM on July 31, 2007

fucking ohio. god i hate ohio.
Me, too, Baby_Balrog, but alas, for the time being, I have to live here.

Ah -- but have you heard about the proposed "adult entertainment zone" plan in Cleveland?

http://www.clevescene.com/2007-06-20/music/nude-zone/

Our loser mayor wants to make a titty bar DMZ:

Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson has proposed centralizing the area's gentlemen's clubs into a space on the opposite end of the East Bank.

Larry Flynt's Hustler Club, part of the Hustler publisher's adult-entertainment empire, will move to the former location of the Old Crooked River Brewing Company, across the river from the Diamond Men's Club. The Flynt Club's spokesperson said the club will operate continuously, but could not provide an estimated timeline for the move.

Some say the zone could give the city a new calling card.

"It could possibly be a good thing," says Ed Thompson, manager of the Diamond club. "Out-of-towners and conventioneers could find it more easily, and it could be more convenient. But we and some of the neighbors have concerns about parking and infrastructure."

Read: PLEASE, CONVENTIONEERS, COME TO CLEVELAND! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEZE.

I say this as a nearly-lifelong Clevelander: god, my city is fucked up.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:49 AM on August 1, 2007

the pussy in Ohio is second to none Kentucky.

i fixed that for you.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:00 PM on August 1, 2007