Skip

show them to me
August 29, 2007 12:33 PM   Subscribe


 
I don't have anything meaningful to add to that.
posted by Lord_Pall at 12:41 PM on August 29, 2007


*Shows his Tits*
posted by Lord_Pall at 12:41 PM on August 29, 2007


Ha ha ha ha, oh boy.

That was lovely, thank you.
posted by davros42 at 12:41 PM on August 29, 2007


Breast of the Web!
posted by RussHy at 12:43 PM on August 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


*Shows his tits in slow motion* *Slowly*
posted by From Bklyn at 12:47 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Needs more "amphorae" tag.
posted by dersins at 12:53 PM on August 29, 2007


A single tear crawls down Turtles' craggy weathered face...

*sniff* beautiful.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 12:53 PM on August 29, 2007


Titties on the internet? It's about damn time.
posted by ColdChef at 12:55 PM on August 29, 2007 [9 favorites]


I hate the word "funbags" with a fire that burns a thousand suns.
posted by astruc at 12:57 PM on August 29, 2007 [6 favorites]


ZOMG BOYZONE!

Needs more boobies.
posted by loquacious at 12:58 PM on August 29, 2007


Ignoring the tags as I often do, I thought this was going to be about cats and their pokemons. Just goes to show the insidious way the internet warps people's brains.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:59 PM on August 29, 2007 [4 favorites]


boyzone? i don't see any boys!
posted by grae at 12:59 PM on August 29, 2007


I like how the old guy keeled over backwards. I can relate.
posted by davy at 1:02 PM on August 29, 2007


This is the kind of one-link Youtubery we should encourage. For the next one somebody should do a "Cut or not?" medley, just to be fair.
posted by davy at 1:03 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


For the next one somebody should do a "Cut or not?" medley, just to be fair.

What, like for teenagers' arms in long sleeves?
posted by Greg Nog at 1:06 PM on August 29, 2007


Suddenly my day seems much brighter. Thanks!
posted by zoogleplex at 1:06 PM on August 29, 2007


I would tell you that Fark is a few doors down, but even they had the sense to spin off their "Boobies" posts to an entirely different domain. Slipshod, vronsky. This will not do.
posted by prostyle at 1:09 PM on August 29, 2007


tits or gtfo




...oh.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:09 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


So we're posting our favorite soft porn links now? Okay.
posted by yhbc at 1:11 PM on August 29, 2007


Filthy Food
posted by yhbc at 1:13 PM on August 29, 2007 [5 favorites]


I love breasts and all that, but the song and the video only made me think about how this video/song pretends sexual exploitation has the power of social regeneration when quite the opposite is true.

Showing one's breasts on command and implying (even in jest) that people (read undersexed men) won't fight as a result perpetuates the myth that men are in sexual thrall to women.

I think the video also distorts the meaning of the song because with the exception of Chris Farley, every single instance of breast-baring wis done by a conventionally attractive woman.

MetFilter: where men cheer tittie shows as in a "Gentleman's Club."
posted by mistersquid at 1:15 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


*still lifting his shirt*
posted by From Bklyn at 1:17 PM on August 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Post-Tits or GTFO
posted by Mick at 1:19 PM on August 29, 2007




For the last time, vronsky, no I will not show them to you. And stop standing in front of my house every night.
posted by Pastabagel at 1:23 PM on August 29, 2007


perpetuates the myth that men are in sexual thrall to women.

Whaddya mean, myth? :)
posted by Malor at 1:24 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


the myth that men are in sexual thrall to women.


It's only a MYTH?

SHIT!
posted by davelog at 1:24 PM on August 29, 2007


Oh, [IMG] tag...how I miss thee....
posted by NationalKato at 1:26 PM on August 29, 2007


Filthy Food

Holy.





Crap.
I really want a sandwich right now, but I don't know if I can trust myself alone with it.
posted by ColdChef at 1:27 PM on August 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


yhbc redeems the thread. Good job, sir.
posted by ColdChef at 1:28 PM on August 29, 2007


this video/song pretends sexual exploitation has the power of social regeneration

Wow. Way to beanplate the song, mistersquid.

As a woman, I think this is just harmless fun. It's not like anyone shown in this video was coerced into showing her breasts.
posted by misha at 1:28 PM on August 29, 2007 [3 favorites]


Oh, and the filthy foods video is brilliant.
posted by misha at 1:29 PM on August 29, 2007


What thu -- BOOBS on the WEB!?!? So glad I found this.
posted by diastematic at 1:29 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Second the filthy foods. Lunchtime!
posted by diastematic at 1:30 PM on August 29, 2007


Okay, three 'reveals' in I was starting to get bored. Your favourite breasts suck.
posted by RokkitNite at 1:30 PM on August 29, 2007


mistersquid, it's presumptive to assume that any time a woman chooses to bare her body she's under compulsion or duress. Women are as involved in raunch culture as men are.

Social regeneration? The thing about we won't fight is a joke.
posted by Firas at 1:33 PM on August 29, 2007


Also I'm not one for fixating on boobs but that video is achingly beautiful. That is all.
posted by Firas at 1:37 PM on August 29, 2007




All of the above are most definitely NSFW
posted by arcticwoman at 1:42 PM on August 29, 2007


Firas: did I not say "even in jest"? Second, I said nothing about duress. The problems exist independently of coercion. The song and video highlight male chauvinism, regardless of your apologetics.

Oh, and misha: just because you're a woman doesn't mean this material is not sexist. Neither does your being a woman mean you have a better understanding of sexism than anyone else (or any understanding of it at all for that matter).
posted by mistersquid at 1:43 PM on August 29, 2007


My Pokemans! Yes! I will show them to you!
posted by doctorschlock at 1:44 PM on August 29, 2007


vronsky well, we may disagree about the enjoyability of discussing politics and theology, but I cand disagree with this post. Nice song too, and here I never thought I'd like country music.
posted by sotonohito at 1:49 PM on August 29, 2007


I think your ferocious egalitarianism has crashed through the cliff barrier. What extent of volition on part of the women is required before your claim of exploitation becomes supercilious? By holding the test of 'exploitation' beyond consent you've managed to be patriarchal, patrimonial and patronizing—all at once.
posted by Firas at 1:54 PM on August 29, 2007 [6 favorites]


I'm so glad I don't live in mistersquid's world.
posted by NationalKato at 1:55 PM on August 29, 2007


FARK?!
posted by homodigitalis at 2:00 PM on August 29, 2007


Firas: What I'm saying is something that is very well known, which is that at every turn people willingly do things that compromise their integrity and agency. But the point about the problem with the video has nothing to do with whether or not the people willingly do what they do.

My point is that in the idea (even as a joke) "show us your tits and the world will be better" is a product of chauvinism.

To NationalKato. You know nothing about my world, so fine.

I'm not against porn, prostitution, or any sex industry as a matter of course. I am against drivel such as featured at the top of this thread which is to me not beautiful, funny, or interesting.

Oh, I forgot where I was and started thinking again. One second:

WHOO TITS ON PARADE WHOO! THE WORLD IS BETTER.

You're right. That was funny. Now I get it.
posted by mistersquid at 2:03 PM on August 29, 2007


Say, whatever happened to [that young actress who once showed her boobs on screen thinking it would help launch her Hollywood career but hasn't gotten a call from an agent or producer since she turned 34]...?
posted by twsf at 2:05 PM on August 29, 2007


After Phoebe Cates I got disinterested, so I started trying to identify the movies instead. When that horseback scene from "Private School For Girls" was shown I thought "ooh, I hope somebody tries to make a list, because that movie can't be too well known and then I can contribute"... and then I felt nauseous.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:07 PM on August 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


mistersquid's profile
Contributions
MeFi: 0 posts 70 comments


Put up or shut up, bub.
posted by Optamystic at 2:09 PM on August 29, 2007


*Meh*ta-taFilter.
posted by Floydd at 2:11 PM on August 29, 2007


Optamystic: If memory serves, the only conditions for commenting is that the thread be open and one is a registered user who has paid $5.

So, I won't be shutting up just yet. Thanks, anyway.
posted by mistersquid at 2:17 PM on August 29, 2007


Thats 71 now!
posted by LoopyG at 2:24 PM on August 29, 2007 [3 favorites]


I completely agree with mistersquid. He should not be shutting up right now. He is very funny.

And I perfectly see his points, the societies were young men see LESS breasts tend to be the most peaceful and understanding. Man, if women would just cover their ankles, there would be no wars.

And women should not be trusted to do as they please, since it is well known all they do is compromise their agency and integrity. I once met a girl that liked to swim naked in the ocean. Did the lads and me, with the help of a few stones, teach her a lesson on integrity.

BTW, does anyone have a video of men showing their muscular bodies? I hear those are completely sexism and chauvinism free.b
posted by Dataphage at 2:30 PM on August 29, 2007


( . ) ( . )
posted by dopamine at 2:31 PM on August 29, 2007


someone is ashamed of his penis
posted by Mick at 2:32 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Straight porn, really?
posted by Avenger at 2:32 PM on August 29, 2007


mistersquid has this one wrapped up, nothing left to see...move along...keep it moving...
posted by zerobyproxy at 2:33 PM on August 29, 2007


Alright guys let's not pile on. He wanted some parrying. He got it. Now everybody chill. BOOBIES.
posted by Firas at 2:34 PM on August 29, 2007


Chris Farley is still as funny as a speedball heart attack.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:41 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


What? Where's Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places?

Internet must be broke, couldn't find image of the above.
posted by marxchivist at 2:41 PM on August 29, 2007


"Oh, and misha: just because you're a woman doesn't mean this material is not sexist. Neither does your being a woman mean you have a better understanding of sexism than anyone else (or any understanding of it at all for that matter)."

Oh, shut the hell up! You sanctimonius....Here, I'll help you... (shoves a DDD in mistersquids mouth)

There, all better!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:42 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


BTW, does anyone have a video of men showing their muscular bodies?

Every time I see that sentance (and it happens quite often) I think of Chavez' "Break Up Your Band". It's quite pavlovian. Or freudian, I forget. Anyway, unless you were kidding, go here.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:46 PM on August 29, 2007


My point is that in the idea (even as a joke) "show us your tits and the world will be better" is a product of chauvinism.

Only when the clips in the video are divorced from their context. In the underlying power dynamic between performer an audience, it is the performer who has the power, and the audience is dominated. In this context "show them to me" is not a command, but a plea. The woman in these clips, an actress she shows them to you, but in a context that ensures they are completely unattainable. The woman does not acquiesce, she denies the transfer of power to the male in having his wish granted, because he can never have her.

In this light, the deployment of female nudity in a film is in fact a form of subjugation of the male viewer by the established power complex. It is wielded by the media as an instrument of domination. You will pay to view this and you will lust and you will be denied and you will repeat the cycle.

The film's text gives the male viewer the impression that his lust is satiated, but the subtext in fact renders him impotent in two critical ways.

First, she is not aware of you, the male viewer, and therefore you are nonexistent as a person. You are an abstracted object - a consumer - you pay to have your desire for her grow and yet she is ignorant of your existence. You consume siguls of desire. But she cannot desire you (she does not know you), and your sexual power vis-a-vis her is nil.

Second, who in fact has she bared her chest for? For the creative, the artist who makes the film, and for the producer who funds it. For the totality of the creative vision to render it real. She does so to become art. But you are neither artist nor rich. You have no creative vision that she would want to participate in, and therefore you cannot even attract her intellectually or emotionally. Furthermore, as a consumer-object, you have no resources to render her vision real. As poor, you are further unable to appeal to her need for security and comfort.

Again, you have nothing that would maker her desire you, or want you, or want to know you. In the context of your mutual sexual space, your penis is massless, with dimension zero.

You have not seen these women, you have seen a crafted image of them, and as such they have placed themselves in your mind as an object of desire that you can never have. Thus, you, the viewer are objectified - you pay to view them, but the possession of the imagined object never transfers - and the actress is rendered whole - a sexual being with her power confirmed and validated in the form of hte art she produces.

She is the queen, directing the course of countless males to build her hive. You are the drone, struggling uselessly against the hordes of other drones to mate with her once and die.
posted by Pastabagel at 2:47 PM on August 29, 2007 [51 favorites]


Apparently, every time I see that sentence I forget how to spell "sentence", as well.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:48 PM on August 29, 2007


mistersquid: Why is that when a woman shows her breasts it's automatically a "compromise" of her "integrity and agency"? Why do you get to define what integrity is for her and how it might be compromised?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 2:49 PM on August 29, 2007


Country music and boobs. Hold on while I spit out my chaw and put the safety on the gun--this one needs my full attention.
posted by TrialByMedia at 2:51 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


pastabagel that was good.
posted by andrew cooke at 2:59 PM on August 29, 2007


Weird, TrialByMedia: I thought the whole point of this video was to take the safety off the gun. Oh well, it takes all kinds.
posted by cgc373 at 3:01 PM on August 29, 2007


*bows before pastabagel's comment, promises to stop stalking her*
posted by vronsky at 3:02 PM on August 29, 2007


Your favourite breasts suck.

Is that a Yoda-ism, or just translated very directly from the German?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:04 PM on August 29, 2007 [4 favorites]


I really liked the way that site's video player handles the volume control. A+

Oh, there were boobs?
posted by beaucoupkevin at 3:04 PM on August 29, 2007


Misha, I don't know if you're the first to use "beanplate" as a verb, but if you are, I salute you.
posted by Rangeboy at 3:05 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Could we get more puerile and exploitative posts like this please? I've got favorites to burn people.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:15 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


No Uschi Digard?

Having a montage of breasts in movies without Uschi makes the whole exercise fall kinda...flat.
posted by stinkycheese at 3:20 PM on August 29, 2007


*still lifting his shirt, though now from behind a plate of beans*
posted by From Bklyn at 3:21 PM on August 29, 2007 [4 favorites]


The comedy is that it's a touching country song, one that you would expect to have lyrics about a long lost girlfriend or a death of a loved one, but instead it's about tits. And now that I've explained it, it's no longer funny.

I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE
YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY
posted by fungible at 3:22 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


*bares tits*






*vomits all over them*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:22 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


that video made me feel like a fungi
posted by vronsky at 3:24 PM on August 29, 2007


Titties and Beer.
posted by dbiedny at 3:32 PM on August 29, 2007


Pastabagel FTW, with Ambrosia Voyeur a sort-of-close-but-on-a-different-track second.

Metafilter: Your penis is massless, with dimension zero.


posted by Extopalopaketle at 3:51 PM on August 29, 2007


ya know, I wish there was some view of the male anatomy that gave me the same reaction as most of the posters on this thread.

On second thought.......
posted by bluesky43 at 4:01 PM on August 29, 2007


I read somewhere that "there are only two kinds of religions, those that think that sex is good for the crops and those that think that sex is bad for the crops." I am monitoring the crops...
posted by RussHy at 4:06 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't get the big deal. I mean, I often unthinkingly bare my manhood, which, giant and hairy, stuns all those who view it. Most are speechless, fascinated and yet--you can tell--slightly frightened or intimidated, depending on gender. (I can't even get both hands around it, to give a sense of scale.) From above the struggling waistline of my pants to below my jiggling man-boobs, it's evidence of my virility fondness for chocolate.
posted by maxwelton at 4:09 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


"I wish there was some view of the male anatomy that gave me the same reaction"


how about bearforce 1 bluesky43?

(caution, too gay for work)
posted by vronsky at 4:21 PM on August 29, 2007




Yeah, Pastabagel's post is pretty good despite its reproduction of (mainly French) poststructuralist and psychoanalytic theory.

My main objection is that he or she hypostatizes "she" and gives that imaginary object control over a movie system where "she" never had it. Furthermore, the situation is symmetrical: as owner of the gaze, I am invisible to the performer and, so, to that extent sovereign.

I don't object to psychoanalytic thought but arguing these women have control over the people who watch them depends on ignoring the material circumstances of the production of these films. The short answer is that these actresses do not determine the circumstances under which they expose their flesh for the pleasure of others.

At all.

Nice post, even if it is wildly wrong, verging on the point of incoherence.
posted by mistersquid at 5:04 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


( . )=^..^=( . )
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:08 PM on August 29, 2007


The short answer is that these actresses do not determine the circumstances under which they expose their flesh for the pleasure of others.

Your short answer is idiotic. Can you give us the long answer (which hopefully makes sense)?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 5:13 PM on August 29, 2007


I'm guessing you were bottle fed as a child mistersquid.
posted by vronsky at 5:14 PM on August 29, 2007


The short answer is that these actresses do not determine the circumstances under which they expose their flesh for the pleasure of others.

So, Titus Squiddius, "slave actresses" will now join "bread" and "circuses" as part of the dole?

Or do you mean that in a Calvinist predestinatory sense:

Fish gotta swim
And birds gotta fly
I'm gonna bare my boobs till I die
Can't help baring those boobs of mine


No?
posted by StrikeTheViol at 5:22 PM on August 29, 2007


Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese: I thought I was clear but here goes the second take: these actresses are employed in a system that uses their bodies to make money and to that extent they are not empowered (apotheosized into art) but are interchangeable commodities who perform for the pleasure of others.

Also, on second more careful read, Pastabagel's discussion of the way in which spectators are in fact victims of a cinematic system that provokes and exploits their desire really speaks to the part of me that is sympathetic with Adorno and Horkheimer. Good stuff and I'm fully nodding about that.

The stuff about "her" being turned into a piece of art (and so empowered) is claptrap.

The role of the spectator is more complicated than you, Pastabagel, make it out to be, and it's more complicated than can be covered (adequately) in a MeFi thread. But I very much like the issues PB raises and the direction those issues take this almost-moribund thread.
posted by mistersquid at 5:28 PM on August 29, 2007


Even I don't think this thread is worthy of a Mulveyfest, and I'm completely preoccupied in a personal and a professional sense with representation of women and sexuality in media. I tend to think the tittietittiestities noise our culture produces is a whole frequency I am ready to tune out now, or at least not invest intellect in.

(Or maybe I just wish it were so, because homogenous "perfect" movie tits make still me feel inadequate, intellect be damned.)

...NEXT!

Head-canting, you're up.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:29 PM on August 29, 2007


vronsky writes 'I wish there was some view of the male anatomy that gave me the same reaction'

"how about bearforce 1"


And if those bears aren't hot enough for you, then there's always this one.

(Even gayer, even less suitable for work/children/rabid hetboys/etc)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:42 PM on August 29, 2007


Thanx for the mammaries.
posted by pax digita at 5:54 PM on August 29, 2007


these actresses are employed in a system that uses their bodies to make money and to that extent they are not empowered (apotheosized into art) but are interchangeable commodities who perform for the pleasure of others.

More seriously, I disagree with your statement, but taking the basic premise as valid, to what extent would that not be true of every performer ever hired? The phrase "victims of a system" provides limited justification for a flippant declaration like I quoted before.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 5:55 PM on August 29, 2007


Yeah Jennifer Connely's were pretty spectacular weren't they AV?
posted by vronsky at 6:00 PM on August 29, 2007


Pastabagel, i could've really used your talents (as demonstrated here and in other threads) when I was in college. Where the hell were you?
posted by bashos_frog at 6:02 PM on August 29, 2007


It's the objectification, or further fetishization of parts or infantilization or disembodiment, not the commodification, which is unique to women. It's kind of a made-up distinction, but you and I know that women can make a living on a body part, because men can orgasm from looking at one. Somehow the total package is wrapped up with the idea of "being human." I don't know how I feel about that, because it's somewhat untenable as a standard.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:04 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


mistersquid's reaction to pastabagel is causing me to check the batteries in my Sokal 2000(tm) pomo humor detector.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:08 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


vronsky: katie holmes just got robbed.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:11 PM on August 29, 2007


vronsky: I am a little embarrassed to say so but the good Freudian in me (if there is such a thing) admits I *was* bottle-fed, something I try to make up for every day of my life. Hee.
posted by mistersquid at 6:23 PM on August 29, 2007


Is this the sort of thing I would need to not have an awesome rack to appreciate? Because that song is awful.
posted by jessamyn at 6:26 PM on August 29, 2007


An awesome rack or a dick, I imagine.

Since I have neither, I'm going to pass.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:31 PM on August 29, 2007


Most normal people use their hand(s) to get off. Do words really work as well?
posted by c13 at 6:39 PM on August 29, 2007


There are certain country music songs that are very akin to that plate of beans that doesn't need the overthinking. I'd say "Show Them To Me" is such a song.

I agree with mistersquid, though, that it would've been nice if the video could've more closely mirrored the song's repeated celebrations of all kinds of breasts (mismatched, sagging, old, whatever). Of course, in fairness to the person who put this vid together, I guess it can be pretty hard to locate that many clips of exposed breasts that aren't, well, the current ideal.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:47 PM on August 29, 2007


there's a song?
posted by vronsky at 6:50 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think the videomamographer person should have supported what the song was claiming to stand for and shown some less than popular images of breasts, in a non-sarcastic context of course.

On preview I see flapjax just said that. It leaves the whole argument in question without. I'd think they could be obtained in a medical journal though perhaps that's not the best of ideas.
posted by kigpig at 6:53 PM on August 29, 2007


Utter (hyeugh hyeugh) waste of time that I watched all of.
posted by OrangeDrink at 6:55 PM on August 29, 2007


Maybe some people need tips on How to Look at a Naked Lady.
posted by RussHy at 7:20 PM on August 29, 2007


All right, and now for the important part.

Anyone care to try to name all of the movies and actresses in the clips?
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:26 PM on August 29, 2007


110 comments.

On the thread about the song about the tits.

Seriously.
posted by poweredbybeard at 7:29 PM on August 29, 2007


111 !
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:51 PM on August 29, 2007


What a bunch of boobs.

I would, in an instant, throw over my world to snuffle my face in Jennifer Connelly's magnificent bosom.
posted by papercake at 7:51 PM on August 29, 2007


mistersquid - I saw Demi Moore in Striptease in that clip. I believe she received $20million for that role. In what possible sense was she an interchangeable commodity? In what sense was it not her choice?

Would I be exploited if I agreed to whip out Mr. Happy on film for $20million?
posted by Justinian at 7:52 PM on August 29, 2007


Is this the sort of thing I would need to not have an awesome rack to appreciate? Because that song is awful.

Funny story: my work filter blocks a lot of stuff, and other stuff I'll generally avoid regardless (like a post that seems to be a video full of topless women) just so as not to get fired, so I couldn't actually look at this when I saw it come into the flag queue. I'm generally pretty okay with sexy sexy metafilter posts, so I just sort of shrugged and figured if it was lame Matt or Jess would nuke it.

Then I came home, watched it, and meh'd all over my keyboard. Points for fairly spot on propaganda-country ballad execution, but those lyrics weren't stunning. Felt like a Team American outtake.
posted by cortex at 7:54 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm actually sympathetic to mistersquid's point, having just a few days ago read an explanation of male gaze theory that actually made sense and clicked for me. The problem is, as I understand it, that women are conditioned to appear (that is, that their primary way of acting in with regard to social contexts is dominated by being observed in their acting), while men are more able to simply act.

This sort of media plays into this dynamic, by setting up women who are to be looked at, while at the same time, the male observer is almost never shown at the same time, or at best shown in an anonymizing way, allowing him to serve as a stand in for the audience member. The limited power and agency women are granted in this exchange (which can be real, and I'm not discounting it) is only granted in the course of her embracing her role as an observed entity and not able to act simply on merit.

That said, I think there is a place for that, and I think men are increasingly taking on parts of this role as well, but there's nowhere near equality on this issue, and until there is, media which embraces the role of being observed for women, which reinforces the message which comes from nearly every bit of social conditioning is, in fact, pushing a sexist agenda. The fact that the woman has consented to this is great and all, but doesn't change the message of the work which is that women are to be looked at and men are to look.

This has nothing to do with not being okay with nudity, sex, or even porn, it has to do with an awareness of the implications of how these things are framed and dealt with, with what is portrayed as normal in the media and culture and thus becomes so in the minds of the next generation. I like all those things myself, but I also think it's a good idea to look long and critically at the effect they have in their portrayal.
posted by Arturus at 8:02 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mistersquid: Firas: What I'm saying is something that is very well known, which is that at every turn people willingly do things that compromise their integrity and agency.

You're the chauvinist. Sexuality compromises the integrity of women only to someone who thinks sex is something that hurts women and that it's something women "give up".
posted by spaltavian at 8:03 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


cortex writes: but those lyrics weren't stunning....

D'ya really think, though, that anyone could come up with lyrics for a low-brow gag song like this that would be "stunning"? I mean, I think the songwriter pretty much succeeded at grabbing the low-hanging fruit (you'll pardon the expression) that he was reaching for. This ain't Leonard Cohen, here, grappling with the finer shades and deeper intricacies of the psychosexual. This is a guy singing about TITS!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:13 PM on August 29, 2007


Sir, I give you Jonathan Coulton. Or Al Yankovich. Or Tom Lehrer. Or, or, or. Whether one or the other of them would aim for this particular material is between them and God, but people can write nasty good if they've got the skills and the inclination.

Heck, maybe Randy Newman even.
posted by cortex at 8:22 PM on August 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


This is a guy singing about TITS!

That's the whole point. There are lots of great songs written about tits, this is not one of them. Were it not for the *tee hee* factor of women with their shirts off -- something that most of the female MeFites see every day, AMIRITE ladies? -- this post is ubermeh.

I heard AC-DC's "Big Balls" on the way home today in the car and still think that song is a great stupid ribald double-entendre fest, especially because it's a guy singing about his enormous nuts. It's funny. This is a video made by dudes, with a ungreat song by a dude, with a bunch of clips form movies where women take their shirts off. It's lousy as porn, it's lousy as music, and the thing that makes it decent as a post at all -- like I'm going to delete the knockers post... the girl mod? -- is that male gaze thing, the co-feeling that you're (any of us, me included) getting a peek at something normally not available to you. Except that it's available to anyone who can pay for a movie ticket or get this video off the intertubes. So, it's a cheat anyway.

And I can look at myself in the mirror for free and not have to read a bunch of dumb comments about it afterwards. Yay for tits.
posted by jessamyn at 8:33 PM on August 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Heck, maybe Randy Newman even.

I'd love to hear Randy Newman's version of a song about tits, but I think he's got too much class, and, I just don't think he'd find enough to work with (so to speak) if he had to be as relentlessly point-specific as this tits song is. In other words, I think he'd raise the artistic bar too high, and the result might be a great Randy Newman song, but it would move things out of the boundaries of gag-song and into art. He couldn't possibly keep the song dumb enough to succeed in an area of songcraft that actually needs to be dumb in order to work.

And of course, releasing a racy song about female anatomy might not be the best career move at this point for the man, who, after all, is scoring Pixar films distributed by Disney... he might find himself out of a job.

And on preview, jessamyn, you'll note that I am not making a dumb comment about you looking in the mirror. I honestly don't want you to ever have to read dumb comments.

Unfortunately, that is part of your job description, though, amirite?

Oh, but also...

There are lots of great songs written about tits...

Examples?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:42 PM on August 29, 2007


For the record, I would not have had a problem with the girl mod deleting it. It would not have even occured to me.

But if someone had posted a montage of men's packages set to Big Balls, I probably would have skipped it.

(And seconding everything flap just said.)
posted by vronsky at 9:00 PM on August 29, 2007


It's Whip 'Em Out Wednesday.
posted by Poolio at 9:02 PM on August 29, 2007


I'd love to hear Randy Newman's version of a song about tits, but I think he's got too much class

I dunno. He's got a wonderfully nasty streak to him, and is capable of funny, surgical focus on parodic subjects:

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet


And anyway, I think I disagree with you on the apprehension of what this song could be and still serve well its ostensible purpose. This here is tits and a song about tits; what's wrong with it is that the video is lousy and the song is lousy, not that the concept isn't artistic enough.
posted by cortex at 9:04 PM on August 29, 2007


that is part of your job description, though, amirite?

I meant the comments on youtube or wherver that video is hosted, I'll read dumb comments here until my eyes bleed and be happy to do it.

Good Songs About Tits


Boobs A Lot (really, go listen to this to see how it should be done) (YT version)
Busted
How Do you Like These Babies Now?
Push Th' Little Daisies (YT)
Sheela Na Gig
My Breasts Are Out of Control
Song of Solomon?
this one?
posted by jessamyn at 9:09 PM on August 29, 2007


Wow, jessamyn comes through, big time! I'll check out all those links, but right now I've gotta go down to the studio and start work on a new song. It's about elbows. Just elbows.

The video's gonna be killer, too!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:13 PM on August 29, 2007


Rufus is a Tit Man♫ by Loudon Wainwright lll

Uh, yeah, that Rufus.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:19 PM on August 29, 2007


I disagree that the video is lousy. It certainly has a nice nostalgic quality to it. All those illicit titty shots you remember from watching cinemax in your parent's basement. I liked the way they synched the piano with Belushi's eyebrows. But I admit to having a soft spot for 80's soft core (and disliking porn in general). If it had been in a musical genre you like (but still dumb) set to clips of princess leia in her bikini, or anime, do you think you might have had a different reaction?
posted by vronsky at 9:20 PM on August 29, 2007


With the exception of a few cuts that displayed a rudiment of good timing, the video was a playlist of clips. I've got the same soft stop, vronsky, and one for cheesy country ballads besides. It just wasn't really very good.
posted by cortex at 9:26 PM on August 29, 2007


holy modal rounders - ha. They were on the Easy Rider soundtrack.

(and song of solomon made me laugh.)
posted by vronsky at 9:27 PM on August 29, 2007


Take the same clips, sync them up to Boobs A Lot, and I promise to love it.
posted by jessamyn at 9:27 PM on August 29, 2007


A bit uncomfortable with writing this here but ... ok: I don't think it's lousy as porn.

It's not Girls Gone Wild, it's not just a camera flashing by a bunch of people opening their shirts and doing a sterile zoom on a portion of their anatomy. Did we watch the same video? It's scenes, stories, faces, expressions—it's a collage of seduction (note how many of those scenes have the woman in total control of the situation.)

It's not a video of tits. You have to be blind! It's a video of striptease, it's a video of voyeurism—I mean, those American Pie clips? Yeah, no accident. They were highlights of the sexual tension buildup in those movies.

I mean, it starts with a women in a bikini striding out of a pool (archetypal oomph shot) and ends with a woman seducing a guy away from his pool game, with pit stops at—jesu christe, there's a woman standing behind a guy spraying champagne onto the woman in front of him before he laps it up, hello? and a reenactment of lady fucking godiva—this is a veritable parade of common 'sexy' triggers. Drawing the montage from mainstream cinema almost guarantees that.

PS. I'm sympathetic to the claim that "show us your tits" is an essential chauvanistic war-cry: of course it is. I mean just the "us" part of it takes it from only excessively demanding to having an edge of bullying. I could go on about the whole male gaze issue and how much of it is reflexive, in that—well, something I've come to realize how much women themselves are involved with maintaining the standard presentation of women's sexuality, including major appreciation of their own sexual "thrall"—but anyway yeah, it would boil down to the fact that women know exactly what they're doing and how they're participating in their own sexual identities.
posted by Firas at 9:35 PM on August 29, 2007


cortex, I think it's appropriate in this case that you point to Short People. That is pretty much the one tune, really, in the whole Randy Newman catalog, that I think can be squarely placed in the gag-song category. I think he himself would agree with that assessment, and in fact I've heard that he was rather dismayed that it became the hit that it did: it was actually a bit of a throwaway for him. Now, the fact that it also happens to be a very good gag-song is par for the course: we are talking Randy Newman here. Therefore, of course, it's too deep to be just a gag-song. It's also a message song: it's an anti-bias, anti-prejudice song, served up, as is often the case with the great Newman, as a big walloping chunk of irony.

So, am I agreeing actually with you, here, and helping you to make your point? I'm not sure anymore! I think we probably agree on all this, somehow, anyway, but we're taking opposite roads to get there. Suffice to say, Randy Newman is one of the great, great American songwriters. As I see it, you're saying this tits song is not as great as a Randy Newman song, and there'll be no disagreeing on my part. I guess my main point is that, it's a jokey, dumb, throwaway song designed for a few laughs, and it even got a chuckle or 2 out of me. Out of that deep, dark, usually well-concealed lowbrow part of me. Sometimes there's things so low, you just have to chuckle.

By the way, I like talking with you about music. We should do it more often!

And, yeah, jessamyn, Boobs A Lot is a fun tune, I like how they're playing with the rhythm of the lyrics.

But they're not all big and round, gat-dammit, and I still say the "Show Them To Me" guy deserves at least some small credit for referencing (and indeed clebrating) the fact that there's a lot of variety out there in tit-land!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:44 PM on August 29, 2007


See I think they are hearing Toby Keith flapjax, so a certain bias reveals itself, where I am hearing what I would describe as a poor man's Jimmy Buffet.
posted by vronsky at 9:51 PM on August 29, 2007


Well, what I'm hearing is bar-country sensibility flushed up cozy against radio-country balladeering to comic effect. Buffet writing (on a very off day, granted), and Keith or Clint Black or Garth Brooks setting it to Country Music Awards montage-bait.

And yeah, flapjax, I think we do pretty much agree—I'm not arguing that Randy Newman would write this song (though I think Coulton might, if he wanted to—he's young and scrappy and doesn't have to worry about Disney gigs yet), but clearly there is the talent out there to do this song better as what it is than these folks did, even if they put in a wholly respectable (and, yes, at times chuckleworthy) effort.

It just doesn't seem up to the fuss. It's not great. Damnation: faint praise promptly commuted in context.
posted by cortex at 10:05 PM on August 29, 2007


Metafilter: wildly wrong, verging on the point of incoherence.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:08 PM on August 29, 2007


Maybe some people need tips on How to Look at a Naked Lady.

HOW TO LOOK AT NAKED LADIES:
Often.

This also summarizes my feeling on the post.
posted by honeydew at 10:10 PM on August 29, 2007


this post fucking sucks, and I hate vronsky.
posted by shmegegge at 10:23 PM on August 29, 2007


Someone should take this stupid titty video over to Mefi Music and write something pretty to go with it.
posted by astruc at 10:46 PM on August 29, 2007


Is this the sort of thing I would need to not have an awesome rack to appreciate?

Dunno. I have an awesome rack* and I thought it was pretty meh.

*it has many, many servers on it
posted by Sparx at 11:18 PM on August 29, 2007


You're aloud to hate me shmegegge. No biggie.
posted by vronsky at 11:37 PM on August 29, 2007


You're aloud to hate me shmegegge.

Perhaps he'll just hate you silently from now on.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:59 PM on August 29, 2007


inside joke flap
posted by vronsky at 12:14 AM on August 30, 2007


*lowers shirt, puts now empty plate of beans in sink. Rinses, washes, dries plate and spoon and puts both away. Leaves room...*
posted by From Bklyn at 12:28 AM on August 30, 2007


My favorite song about boobs, by far.

Firas: in the diegesis, those women's characters are arguably perfoming their sexualities in empowered ways. And really, that's not the case across the board. Ugh, the titty montage from wedding crashers? Totally blew that movie for me (bound to happen at some point) However, we do not have perpetual suspension of disbelief, we know that this is a media work meant for our consumption, and therefore these women are objects, as much as a prop or a lens flare. That's why porn isn't about plot or empowered women, it's about glistening sphincters, dropped jaws and undulating breasts. The last of which are apparently magic enough to inspire world peace, if the narration in this little can-can dance is to be believed. I dunno, I don't see it. I get the symbolism of the breast as comfort, and I like thinking of myself and of women as possibly the most intriguing source of beauty on God's earth, but, well, I don't have balls, was breastfed till 2, and now just prefer a good ass. Boobs are oversaturating the visual market. More hips 'n' ass, please.

Arturus: Thanks for sponsoring Mulveyfest. I mean it, it's nice to get that all written out for people who don't take it as assumed.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:32 AM on August 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


One more thing: is "Show Us Your Tits," "Tits plz or gtfo" or any other iteration of this ever funny? Do people not realize that this has been said in earnest to me and other women since we were ten? Isn't that just gross? Maybe I just believe they mean it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:35 AM on August 30, 2007 [2 favorites]


I am not a bad man for liking tits. I don't care what anyone says.
posted by grubi at 6:02 AM on August 30, 2007


Usage note: the juxtaposition of "plz" and "or gtfo" is disorienting to me. Do people do that? "or gtfo" is such a strident imperative that it doesn't seem like it'd brook a qualifying pleasantry on the conditional request, but then I suppose irony makes all things possible.
posted by cortex at 7:09 AM on August 30, 2007


Then I came home, watched it, and meh'd all over my keyboard.

Is that what they're calling it these days?

Good Songs About Tits

No Big-Ass Titties?
posted by kirkaracha at 7:45 AM on August 30, 2007


I would like to apologize for my earlier comment. I should not have said that this post fucking sucks and I hate vronsky. I don't actually hate vronsky. It was drunk posting, and for that I'm sorry.
posted by shmegegge at 8:07 AM on August 30, 2007 [1 favorite]


Please don't victimise women any further by trying to suggest that they have no control over their body or decisions that they make in regards to it.

You can ramble all you like about the societal pressures at work, the patriachial society we live in and the ideals about society we have ingrained from the moment we take a breath in this godforsaken world, but we're not all pawns that acquiesce to male desire and even on the occasions that we do, it's not about pleasing your nameless, faceless person.

And by 'we' I speak only for 'me'. We're not a homogenous group, mmkay?

Also, I have no problem with breasts on screen, I just wish that more often it would be for non-sexual purposes, too.
posted by liquorice at 8:53 AM on August 30, 2007


If you believe in titties as palliative for the cruel realities of the modern world, fight for nudity!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:37 AM on August 30, 2007


Also, I have no problem with breasts on screen, I just wish that more often it would be for non-sexual purposes, too.
posted by liquorice at 11:53 AM on August 30 [+] [!]


now, I hated the video, but I'm confused by this comment. I mean, in Eyes Wide Shut for instance, they show breasts when Tom Cruise is giving a breast exam, and when a dead girl is lying naked on a mortuary slab. Is this more of what you'd like to see in movies? Because when I think of non-sexual exhibition of breasts in real life, they're not very often and the moments when it is aren't especially interesting for a movie. I mean, you'll see someone getting dressed in the morning in a movie sometimes and then see a breast, but who wants to see people going through a boring repetitive and tedious morning ritual more often in movies? Sure, there are times when it's done artfully in a film (again, Eyes Wide Shut comes to mind) but I've never felt like there should be more of that in film. Or a breast exam. I feel like they happen far more often than movies portray, but they're also not interesting unless the results are tragic.

Now, I will agree that breasts should be OBJECTIFIED less in movies, as should female anatomy in general, but I'm not sure if that's what you're saying.
posted by shmegegge at 11:44 AM on August 30, 2007


as far as randy newman gag songs are concerned, by the way:

if short people counts as a gag, then I humbly submit Political Science and Rednecks.

Political Science:

No one likes us.
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect,
But heaven knows we try.
All around
Even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one,
see what happens.

We give them money,
are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful
and they're hateful.
They don't respect us,
so let's surprise 'em.
We'll drop the big one,
pulverize 'em.

Asia's too crowded,
Europe's too old.
Africa is far too hot
and Canada's too cold.
South America
stole our name.
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us.

We'll save Australia.
Don't want to hurt no Kangaroo.
We'll build an All American
Amusement Park there.
They got surfin' too!

Boom goes London.
Boom Paris (pronounced Par-ee)
More room for you
and more room for me!
Every city
the whole world round
will just be another
American Town!
Oh, how peaceful it'll be!
We'll set everybody free!
You wear a japanese kimono baby,
Italian shoes for me!

They all hate us anyhow.
So let's drop the big one, now.
Let's drop the big one, now.

And Rednecks you should go look up because I don't remember all they lyrics, but it's brutal.
posted by shmegegge at 11:59 AM on August 30, 2007


yes, all they lyrics. well typed on my part.
posted by shmegegge at 12:04 PM on August 30, 2007


So, in conclusion: this thread is how jessamyn almost killed me.

I've had "Boobs a Lot" stuck in my head since last night. Today, I was driving home from the store, singing to myself, concentrating way to much on the call-and-response, when in my jingle-addled dementia I accidentally ran a red light, slamming into the side of another car (luckily, the driver was unhurt). Swear to god, I was actually singing "do you wear your jock a lot?" to myself at the moment I realized my car was about to slam into his. And then the airbag smashed me in the chest so hard I could not find the breath to insist that you gotta wear your jock a lot.

That song is dangerously infectious and its consumption should not be encouraged.
posted by bookish at 12:46 PM on August 30, 2007 [4 favorites]


Oh my gosh bookish, I am terribly sorry and I am glad you are okay.

Though I do blame vronsky.
posted by jessamyn at 6:34 PM on August 30, 2007


Now, I will agree that breasts should be OBJECTIFIED less in movies, as should female anatomy in general, but I'm not sure if that's what you're saying.

Actually, that's what I was saying, if in a very incoherent way.
posted by liquorice at 5:46 AM on August 31, 2007


And here I thought I was the only one who couldn't stop singing "Boobs a Lot" all day, even when in the presence of female clients and assistants. Yeah; thanks a lot jessamyn.
posted by yhbc at 10:43 AM on August 31, 2007


Nobody has talked about how much they're gonna pay me to show my boobs. This is the important issue, because no one is gonna get them free. All those women in the video? Got paid.
posted by saturnine at 1:56 PM on September 1, 2007


Well, in a blogological sense, these are "your" boobs, so, you know, ha.
posted by cortex at 2:05 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Nobody has talked about how much they're gonna pay me to show my boobs. This is the important issue, because no one is gonna get them free.

Hmm... so, what's your price, then? Fixed rate, or sliding scale?

Just curious. I've never paid, myself, you understand.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:21 AM on September 2, 2007




Push Th' Little Daisies is about tits?!.

According to an interview with Ween, yes.
posted by jessamyn at 8:36 AM on September 3, 2007


« Older Jail Guitar Doors   |   We’re too sophisticated to... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post