The price of being a sex worker

August 31, 2007 11:33 AM

The Price. Confessions of a College Call Girl is a blog by... well a prostitute who is in college. While her posts are mostly entertaining stories about her experiences, her most recent entry addresses e-mailers who have expressed interest in her field.
posted by spec80 (96 comments total)

Wow. That was fantastic. Great post (both yours and hers).
posted by arcticwoman at 11:42 AM on August 31, 2007 [2 favorites]

So as long as we don't have self-esteem issues, negative sexual expereinces in our past or eating disorders, we should be golden, right? Bring on the glamour and cash?

hmm. Not so simple.

As for me, there are two reasons I'm not in sex work, getting tax breaks on vinyl catsuits.

1. I'd rather get by on my brains than my ass, and spend my workdays getting progressively better with my brain, than progressively worse with my ass.
2. It's nice to have something that awesome (and expensive, if thinking about that gets you off) to uniquely give to the one you love.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:50 AM on August 31, 2007

I wonder when it'll get turned into a best selling novel.
posted by chunking express at 11:50 AM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hmm, I can't say if this was fake or not. But it's a little trite. I'm sure her pain is genuine and her experiences valid, but somehow the whole thing smacks of a Lifetime movie.
posted by nasreddin at 11:51 AM on August 31, 2007

It's true, we have been burned before on blogs like this. It does seem a little too organized. Still, it's entertaining, and since it's not trying to get me to respond with an outpouring of outrage, sympathy, or money, I don't really care whether it's fake or not.
posted by gurple at 11:59 AM on August 31, 2007

PROTIP FOR HOOKERS: don't learn Valuable Life Lessons, or we won't believe you.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:11 PM on August 31, 2007 [11 favorites]

I, uh, have read this blog, sporadically, for maybe a year? It's not very rosy and I'm glad I don't have that life... Maybe she'll meet a nice guy and settle down.

'Cause she's on the ten-year-plan as far as college goes.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:16 PM on August 31, 2007

That blog post was great, and made me absolutely believe her. The one immediately prior to it though, makes me a little more sceptical:

"He took me back to his house, which was filled with feminine bric a brac like the Precious Moments figurines my grandmother kept in a locked cabinet growing up. I stood in the middle of the room in front of a treadmill cum clothes rack and pulled my clothes off at his request. Next to me, a white and brown cat snoozed. I wondered what he thought when he looked at the naked 19-year-old prostitute disrupting this scene of domesticity. Would he bend me over the very spot where his wife liked to cross-stitch the inspirational sayings that dotted the walls?"

An apartment in Manhattan with cross-stitched inspirational sayings on the walls? Either she's embellishing, or she's full of it.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:23 PM on August 31, 2007

Wtf? If this is your vocation what are you studying for? A Masters degree in Pimping and Organized Crime?
posted by prostyle at 12:28 PM on August 31, 2007

So we are copying everything from Digg and Boing Boing now..?
posted by Webbster at 12:28 PM on August 31, 2007

I'd call bullshit based on that passage alone, PeterMcDermott. (site is blocked from work so I can't judge the rest). That be some soft core Harlequin shiat.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:29 PM on August 31, 2007

Brown University, with a very strict program to protect its women some years back had a ring of students who were hooking for college tutition. Given the cost of many colleges, and given the student load racket, turning tricks might be seen as a way toward earning a degree. In the past, men had the G.I. Bill.
posted by Postroad at 12:29 PM on August 31, 2007

of course, since everyone works in the field they study. that accounts for about 10% of the people i know that went to college.
posted by andywolf at 12:30 PM on August 31, 2007

I call bullshit too. Definitely read the entirety of the post cited by PeterMcDermott -- she writes about sex like a soft-core porn novelist. She even goes out of her way to talk about herself getting turned on. Yeah right. No way is this the diary of a veteran prostitute.
posted by TheWash at 12:37 PM on August 31, 2007

That be some soft core Harlequin shiat.

And the more of it that I read, the more that seems to be the case. To be honest, now I'm even sceptical that it's written by a woman. It reads much more the way I'd expect a forty year old man's fantasy of a nineteen year old college call girl would be than anything I could imagine from any of the nineteen year old girls that I've ever known.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:37 PM on August 31, 2007

Beats joining the army and getting shot at.
posted by LordSludge at 12:39 PM on August 31, 2007

Yeah, I'm calling shenanigans on this too. There's something fishy about the framing, like you can sense the author trying to convey the idea of feelings rather than the emotion itself. There's a vapidity, but not in the "I'm scarred and therefore empty" sense, but in the "these are accounts I haven't actually experienced" sense.
posted by Mach3avelli at 12:40 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

Another vote for fake.
posted by Rangeboy at 12:48 PM on August 31, 2007

So we are copying everything from Digg and Boing Boing now..?

no, the penthouse forum.
posted by quonsar at 12:49 PM on August 31, 2007

Fred Garvin, it should be noted, suffered similar hardships and was yet still able to handle the business of working in the trenches of the sex trade with a well-honed professionalism and, dare I say it, brio - virtues I find lacking in CCG's frequent accounts.
posted by billysumday at 12:50 PM on August 31, 2007 [7 favorites]

Yeah, I'm calling shenanigans on this too. There's something fishy about the framing, like you can sense the author trying to convey the idea of feelings rather than the emotion itself. There's a vapidity, but not in the "I'm scarred and therefore empty" sense, but in the "these are accounts I haven't actually experienced" sense.

You know, I think it's entirely possible that this description is accurate AND she's actually a prostitute. I know it's tacky to bring up postmodernism, but a lot of people nowadays have lives that are mediated by images (for a vulgar example, Chuck Klosterman talks about this). So when you experience something, even if you're genuinely experiencing it, the only way you can really think about it is through a media-generated lens. "I love being drunk and on drugs with my friends who are poets, it's just like On the Road." "Life Turns Into a Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie." "I'm afraid to go to Brooklyn because on Sex and the City they can never get a cab to go there." &c&c.

So I think she really doesn't possess the resources to think of her life in any terms other than bad Harlequin novels and chick-lit. She just can't express her feelings in any other way.
posted by nasreddin at 12:51 PM on August 31, 2007 [10 favorites]

Yeah, I'm getting the bullshit vibe too.

"Selling your ass is hot, sexy, lucrative and super-fun! Oh except the part where I loose all my boundaries, get drunk, date-raped or otherwise fuck men that I hate. Other than that, it's groovy!!!" =^.^=

Plus the whole porny "and then I grabbed my tits while he gently rubbed his throbbing, veiny penis on my quivering ass..." blah blah blah.

A real prostitute's diary would be more like this: "Needed money 4 drugs, found abusive pimp, got AIDS, overdosed, died." :(
posted by Avenger at 12:54 PM on August 31, 2007

Man, I need to hone my bullshit detector, I am just too gullible. It doesn't even cross my mind most of the time that someone could be lying.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:55 PM on August 31, 2007

A little embellished, very embellished or entirely fiction - what's the big difference? It's fantasizing sex work in any case, and that's kind run-of-the-mill fucked up.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:56 PM on August 31, 2007 [2 favorites]

Fanny Hill was full of regret and admonitions not to do what she had done, but you know, she wasn't a real person either.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:58 PM on August 31, 2007

In the past, men had the G.I. Bill.

So this is, what, the GYN Bill?
posted by The Bellman at 1:02 PM on August 31, 2007

She even goes out of her way to talk about herself getting turned on. Yeah right. No way is this the diary of a veteran prostitute.

Well look, unless you've got a coke habit, I would imagine just 7 or 8 sessions a month could provide middle-class sustenance, and with a few regular clients I don't think you'd get too jaded.

That said, her stories about her johns don't really ring true to me either. Some of the details seem wrong, like the unattractive guy wanting spank her and stuff. I don't know.
posted by delmoi at 1:06 PM on August 31, 2007

A real prostitute's diary would be more like this: "Needed money 4 drugs, found abusive pimp, got AIDS, overdosed, died." :(

I think this is overly reductionist. I think it's entirely possible (and in fact there have been verified instances of this) that a prostitute is educated, articulate, and cognizant of the advantages and drawbacks of her profession.

This is not it.
posted by nasreddin at 1:09 PM on August 31, 2007 [4 favorites]

A lot of the posts calling this fake seem to be using media images and stereotypes to judge this as the wrong type of media image or stereotype. My fantasy of Manhattan does not include cross-stitching! This is fake! Or this sounds like soft-core, veteran prostitutes, according to what I know of veteran prostitutes from movies, don't sounds like that.

Apologies, however, if someone has seen all the apartments in Manhattan or knows veteran prostitutes really well. But seriously, where does the information you use to judge this as false come from? Reading real callgirl diaries?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 1:16 PM on August 31, 2007 [14 favorites]

For whatever reason, I gave the cabby the new directions and soon was standing on a new street corner waiting for my mystery dream date. Would he be a stud? Or a dud?

Thank you, Carrie Bradshaw. Fake.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:16 PM on August 31, 2007

A real prositute...
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:17 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

So fake it hurts. The prose comes across a bit mannish, some of the details are sloppy, and my favorite part is this post:

wherein she is unaware of sites reviewing call girls, and then upon discovering a review, gets the co-operative sysadmin to remove the review, rather than having personal info redacted. So that we can't google the text of it and check the veracity.

"What's that? A hooker calling? And you want me to remove content from my site, thereby both diminishing the value of the service I provide and potentially losing page views? Sure thing, Ms. Prostitute-- I wouldn't want you to go to the law about this. It'll be down immediately!"
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:19 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

And while I know that review was pretty much a glowing one, the first time I read it all I saw was “droopy boobs.” First of all – fuck you, double D’s are heavy.

Gosh, this filmy nightgown is so uncomfortable. And my perfectly shiny teeth blind passersby! What do you mean, I'm clearly the blog incarnation of some dude's phone sex history? I'm a real girl!
posted by nasreddin at 1:23 PM on August 31, 2007

Well look, unless you've got a coke habit, I would imagine just 7 or 8 sessions a month could provide middle-class sustenance, and with a few regular clients I don't think you'd get too jaded.

No, she makes a reference to a former coke habit. Before she was hooking, of course. All good fictional noir heroes and heroines have rough pasts.

Now she just has an addiction to "America's Next Top Model" because that's what young people watch.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:24 PM on August 31, 2007

I found this London escort's blog after she posted an entry about an article I wrote a while back. She has a whole blogroll full of blogging escorts and strippers, if that's your thing.
posted by The Straightener at 1:31 PM on August 31, 2007 [3 favorites]

Wait a minute wait a minute wait a doggone minute.

People on the internet just, like, 'make shit up'? This is gonna take some processing...

I am/was inclined to believe it genuine because of its banality. The times I read the blog, she/he never ever talks about 'college.' Odd, since the blog/ narrative is supposedly the confessions of a college prostitute. College takes a lot of time and mind space and it never shows up in the blog, not even tangentially, as in "tuition sure is a bitch" or "I had to pull an all-nighter for molecular-biology..." Because she's not in college. She's a prostitute. Literate, sure, but why not? Look at James Guckert/Jeff Gannon. And that kind of self-deception (but really, I'm still in school) struck me as banal.

The more salient point, is Ambrosia Voyeur's - except : 'fantasizing sex-work' implies glorifying to some extent, or making seem better, more interesting, whatever. The posts, though, are tedious, the life she describes is manifestly un-fun, unglamorous, un-most-anything good. She might say it is, in a nihilistic bad-ass way, fun and dangerous and cool: but damn little of what she describes confers any of the liberty or choice or freedom she's trying to portray. It's kind of all just horrible.

And I always get the sense she is not aware of that. Which just compounds it.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:33 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

Apologies, however, if someone has seen all the apartments in Manhattan or knows veteran prostitutes really well.

I haven't seen all the apartments in Manhattan, but I do know some veteran (and some not so veteran) prostitutes really well. I know that some of them get horny during sex with their punters occasionally, so that's not a problem for me. And I thought that the most recent post was really plausible.

I struggle with the way that she writes about sex, because it just strikes me as too close to what masculine fantasies of sex are like. In and of itself, that isn't a problem. As nasreddin says, lots of people lack the language to express their experiences and so rely on the media that they consume to frame them.

What is a problem for me though, is the way the details are so cliched -- hence the embroidered sampler. I daresay there may be someone in Manhattan who does have them on their walls, but is it plausible that the husband of such a person would be going with a prostitute -- and not just any prostitute, but one who actually writes about her work?

I don't think so. The fact is, reality rarely conforms to our stereotypes in such a neat way. It's that that makes me doubt her, and think it's a wannabe writer rather than a practicing sex worker. But I wouldn't be surprised either way.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:46 PM on August 31, 2007

Whereas with Nia's blog, as linked above by The Straightener, I only have to scan a couple of posts to recognize her as bang on, 100% what she says she is.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:53 PM on August 31, 2007

Fake as a $500,000 bottle of beer.
posted by Floydd at 1:54 PM on August 31, 2007

somehow the whole thing smacks of a Lifetime movie.

Starring Tori Spelling!
posted by jrossi4r at 2:06 PM on August 31, 2007

The fact is, reality rarely conforms to our stereotypes in such a neat way.

Yet your evidence for falsehood is based on stereotypes: people in Manhattan do not have cross-stitching, and people who have cross-stitching do not use prostitutes. Maybe this is one of those moment reality did not conform to your stereotypes.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 2:07 PM on August 31, 2007

The Gender Genie calls male on the few posts I tested that describe the encounters with johns but it decidedly calls female on the latest entry.

Not the greatest of detectors of course but I find that when I throw my own writing in there my fiction comes up as female and my nonfiction comes up as male.
posted by M Edward at 2:09 PM on August 31, 2007

Gad, I need to sit up. I hate typos. Here's an "s" for above.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 2:10 PM on August 31, 2007

"Maybe this is one of those moment(s) reality did not conform to your stereotypes."

And yet, oddly, to mine it pretty much perfectly did.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:16 PM on August 31, 2007

“Look at James Guckert/Jeff Gannon”

Whoa, whoa, whoa...Gannon was literate?

From comments: “but I mean you are so intellegent and write so beautifully and yet you have this dirty secret.”

Yeah, I don’t buy it. Fantasy for posteens impressed by the use of “circuitous” and “detritus” in context.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:18 PM on August 31, 2007

By the way, I am not defending this as true. I just don't trust the prostitutes-write-this-way heuristic that's in play here. It's just as mediated as a prostitutes-write-this-way heuristic that another person might use for a fake blog.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 2:19 PM on August 31, 2007

"I had to pull an all-nighter for molecular-biology..." ...She's a prostitute.

Brings a whole new meaning to the term.
posted by IronLizard at 2:20 PM on August 31, 2007

I struggle with the way that she writes about sex, because it just strikes me as too close to what masculine fantasies of sex are like.

Just out of curiosity, what do you think female fantasies of sex are like?
posted by delmoi at 2:21 PM on August 31, 2007

Not only is it a fake, I'm guessing a dude wrote it.

The notion that hookers regularly "get off" on what they do is the height of male fantasy.
posted by bardic at 2:23 PM on August 31, 2007

Just out of curiosity, what do you think female fantasies of sex are like?

Kirk fucks Spock on a bed of penne vodka.
posted by Divine_Wino at 2:25 PM on August 31, 2007 [12 favorites]

Hm. After seeing the "From Bklyn" I check who called fake and who send "not so fast" -- there's a Brooklyn theme there. Even if nasreddin finds it trite (and it is), nasreddin reserves judgment: it could be true even if it is trite. No one who called it fake lists NY as home. Just thought it was curious. (And I am assuming From Bklyn is from Brooklyn, just a hunch.)
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 2:26 PM on August 31, 2007

Kirk fucks Spock on a bed of penne vodka.

In female fantasies, Spock fucks Kirk!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:28 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fake or not:

...from my own experiences I know that behind lots of good head, are sad tales.

Best comment ever.
posted by Roman Graves at 2:30 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

That didn’t happen just because I was a hooker, but sleeping with men for money made me lower the boundaries around my body. Afterward I had trouble knowing how to say no, because after all what’s it to me to sleep with one more guy? Sometimes it just seemed easier.

A Million Little Penises
posted by geoff. at 2:31 PM on August 31, 2007 [4 favorites]

Who knows? Maybe it's being, dare I say, "ghost-blogged?" I won't doubt the veracity of these stories; just the way in which they're written. If they're entertaining and allow others some type of vicarious thrill then what the hey. Enjoy.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:31 PM on August 31, 2007

(So as long as we're pontificating about this fake blogger, did I miss the part where she says what college or uni she goes to? In my fantasy, it's Columbia. "Ooh, you've been a bad Ivy-league hussie! Ooh!")
posted by bardic at 2:32 PM on August 31, 2007

WTFU
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:34 PM on August 31, 2007

The notion that hookers regularly "get off" on what they do is the height of male fantasy.

Tell me about it. Anyone walks within a five-foot radius of my bits, I'm pretty much in play. It would only follow that I think women are the same way [which I know they're not but I think that sometimes].
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:38 PM on August 31, 2007

Attention Whore.
posted by Poolio at 2:49 PM on August 31, 2007

A tuition whore.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:51 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

As an FYI, the Gender Genie is (in my case) a little less than inaccurate. Mind you, I've been convinced for years that I am actually an awesome butch lesbian -- or would be if not for some cruel mistake of biology -- so maybe it's so accurate that even genitalia can't skew its judgments. But I figure it's either got a few bugs or is working from a false premise.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:53 PM on August 31, 2007

Um...meant to say, "a little less than accurate."
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:54 PM on August 31, 2007

I was just reading her blog and then went to go check MetaFilter. Weird!
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:42 PM on August 31, 2007

For the sake of science, I tested Gender Genie with posts from my own (nonfiction) sex blog. It called male on four out of the ten entries I tried. I don't think you can call bullshit just based on that.

What I am calling bullshit on is the supposed age of the author. Do you know any 19 year old college kids? I work on a college campus, and the wording sounds like someone much older. Badass? Pot? Mystery dream date? Not sure on gender, but would put money on this not being a college age person, and not someone in the sex industry.

(Anyone wanna call me out about my sex blog, email me and I'll send you the link.)
posted by figment of my conation at 3:49 PM on August 31, 2007

Yet your evidence for falsehood is based on stereotypes: people in Manhattan do not have cross-stitching, and people who have cross-stitching do not use prostitutes.

Firstly, I don't claim them as evidence of falsehood, but as issues that raise suspicions. Alone, neither one would be suspicious. Together though, they paint a stereotypical picture of a cosy, midwestern domesticity, behind which lurks the archetypal hypocritical punter.

Even assuming that such a domicile exists in Manhattan, the idea that the resident is someone who will spring for a $200 hooker but rather than springing for the extra $50 to do it in a hotel rather than at his maritial home strikes me as more than faintly ludicrous.

Is it possible? Sure. Is it likely? Not very.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:53 PM on August 31, 2007

Just out of curiosity, what do you think female fantasies of sex are like?

I think they're like pornography, in the sense that I while I can't exactly list the elements, I know them when I see them.

But that comment was ill-expressed in the sense that it wasn't really what I meant. I think if you worked at selling sex, you *might* focus on the sex occasionally, if it was unusual or meaningful in some way, but in my experience, most sex workers just don't find it that interesting. So when they do tell stories about their work, they tend to be more about the ideosyncracies of the people that they come across, whether they be other workers or customers. Or about the things that get in the way and make their life harder, or easier or whatever.

Take a look at some of the other sex workers blogs that are linked from the blog that The Straightener links to further up thread. They pretty well all fall into this category. Even when they do write about sex, it's rarely about the sex -- and when it is, it's generally a marketing tool because they aren't anonymous and so are hustling for dates on the internet.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:03 PM on August 31, 2007

I'm inclined to call "fake", too; though she never says the posts are intended to be chronological, in January she describes herself as a 21-year-old callgirl and in August she's 19. Also, she mentions several times having been fat and losing a lot of weight, but when she talks about her teenager days in high school, she says she was hot and all the guys were after her but she lacked self-esteem. So, yeah, there are some inconsistencies.

And she/he (I'm honestly thinking "he") writes beautifully. I enjoy the narrative style. To me, it comes across as more mature work than I would expect from a nineteen (or twenty-one) year old prostitute.

Just because something is a blog doesn't mean it's true. It's still entertaining reading, though.
posted by misha at 4:09 PM on August 31, 2007

She's boning up on her biology because the professor was being hard on her.
posted by IronLizard at 4:14 PM on August 31, 2007

I didn't go through all (or even a great deal) of her postings, but I was also struck by the absence of college gripes. I had friends who danced while in college to pay, or help pay, loans.
I understand it's a separate part of the sex industry, but apart from the drama/gossip/danger of the job, the absurdity of having to do what they did to pay for worthless required classes was pretty common conversation.

I chalked up this absence to my lack of sampling, though, and went back to work.
posted by Busithoth at 4:15 PM on August 31, 2007

If you guys paid attention to the chronology--from her writing, especially the latest post, it sounds like she started at 19 and has now quit (or very much scaled back her activities). Also, she states herself as "voluptuous" when she first hit puberty, attracting men, and growing more voluptuous (especially around the waistline) as she got later into her teenage years. And dudes who were after her were 30 or 40 year old men, not hot young bods who had their pick of Playmate-like young girls.

Her sex descriptions don't sound very glamorous or sexy to me, unless it's a guy who's into rape fantasies. And he must be a pretty guy-hating-guy, because the writer doesn't convey a high opinion of them or her clients in general. She calls the guys she dated in high school pedophiles, for instance.

I don't see this as fake. The people who are reading this as a sexy Harlequin fantasy must be reading an entirely different journal than me. At best, she's writing black comedy--there are humorous bits but it's mostly sad.
posted by schroedinger at 5:32 PM on August 31, 2007

Also, why does she have to write about college gripes? I read through all of her posts. She's clearly writing after-the-fact. She's writing her past experiences as a college sex worker, not about dealing with being a sex worker and in college. The college part is just introduced to give a reason for starting it and a snappy headline. This blog appears to be more of a catharsis for her than anything else. I've read other sex worker blogs--while this writer has an element of the no-holds-barred sex-proud-and-positive attitude of them, she doesn't dwell on it like those career workers. She spouts a few of the cheating-can-be-good-for-marriages-I'm-providing-a-valuable service platitudes that I read in most of them, but does so half-heartedly. I will be you anything she started this during her therapy and is using it to work her head out.
posted by schroedinger at 5:36 PM on August 31, 2007

I have lived in Manhattan for most of my life and I have *never* seen a stitched sampler on the wall of any of the hundreds of apartments I have been in. As a journalist and former drug addict, I can say that I've been to a pretty wide variety of apartments, too.

Needlepoint just isn't very popular here. My grandmother in the Bronx does have a needlepoint that my mom did when we lived in the suburbs. It depicts a Hasidic rabbi dancing with the Torah. But that is the only needlepoint I can recall seeing within the five boros. One of my sisters lusts after it for some reason.

there were some houses in Brooklyn with plastic-coated sofas that may have had some, however.
posted by Maias at 5:58 PM on August 31, 2007 [2 favorites]

Kirk fucks Spock on a bed of penne vodka.

That would be totally illogical.

It would more likely be radiatore arrabiatta. For warmth.
posted by jonmc at 6:16 PM on August 31, 2007

For what it's worth, her Gawker comments are pretty consistent, if slightly suspicious.
posted by nasreddin at 6:28 PM on August 31, 2007

For what it's worth, some of the guys that call up call girls may, actually, have needlepoint on the walls of wherever the hell they live.
posted by blacklite at 6:32 PM on August 31, 2007

Wait, that doesn't read like it did in my head. What I meant is that, considering the demographics of her market, it seems a lot more plausible to me that there may actually be some needlepoint involved. Who knows how old the guy was, or how old his wife was, or what.
posted by blacklite at 6:34 PM on August 31, 2007

Perhaps someone whose job was to be in tune with male sex fantasies ... maybe that affects her writing? Just a thought.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 7:37 PM on August 31, 2007

And while I know that review was pretty much a glowing one, the first time I read it all I saw was “droopy boobs.” First of all – fuck you, double D’s are heavy.

See, that's what screams fake to me. "Double D's" is pretty much universal western guy speak for "I know nothing about women or breast measurements, ergo all large breasts are 'double D's'". It's generic bad-porn/penthouse letter boilerplate to use the term "double D's". It never fails to amaze me when guys think bra cup sizes top out at DD.

Not a foolproof "This is a guy writing this" test, but I think an actual woman with larger than average breasts would call them "E cups", or just use the phrase "real/natural breasts" instead of "double D's".
posted by hincandenza at 8:33 PM on August 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

The writing kinda reminds me of the writing of one of the friends I had a few years ago who actually used to do this. I wonder if it's her. Maybe I'll drop a line.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2007

I just ran several of my old blog entries through the gender genie. Apparently, I'm female when I write about family and children, but male when I write about literature, linguistics, or cognitive science.

Uh huh.

So, Gender Genie IDing the author as male may not be the smoking gun you'd think.
posted by Elsa at 9:14 PM on August 31, 2007

You guys need to talk to moneyjane over at Monkeyfilter.
posted by spock at 10:14 PM on August 31, 2007

Maias writes "I have lived in Manhattan for most of my life and I have *never* seen a stitched sampler on the wall of any of the hundreds of apartments I have been in. As a journalist and former drug addict, I can say that I've been to a pretty wide variety of apartments, too."

Yet someone is keeping all these stores in business.
posted by Mitheral at 10:42 PM on August 31, 2007

DD is not an uncommon size, and since it's the largest standard size pretty bras are made in even an E is probably squeezing into a DD and telling themselves that's their size. Hincandenza's comment irritated me, because the 'droopy boobs' paragraph is pretty much spot on. Even if this isn't a prostitute it's someone very familiar with the pros and cons of having big boobs.
posted by cali at 11:48 PM on August 31, 2007

Oh, and FWIW, my childhood school friend Patti was busted several years ago for running a prostitution ring called "College Cuties" in Santa Barbara staffed primarily with undergrads. My mom talked to a family friend who talked to Patti's mom (in classic small town grapevine style) who made it sound like her daughter was semi-delusional. She imagined herself to live a much more glamorous and romantic life than she did. I would guess that it's an occupational hazard, particularly if you don't see yourself as a career prostitute. This blog may still be fake of course, but I'm less inclined to dismiss it outright for that reason.
posted by cali at 11:50 PM on August 31, 2007

I have at least two female friends who describe their breasts as "double D's". Maybe more, since I don't talk to all of my friends about their breasts.
posted by agropyron at 11:53 PM on August 31, 2007

I didn't go back and read previous blog posts. But I've known women who have been date-raped, and I've known women who I later found out were strippers. I've also had the experience of mixing too much pot with alcohol and viewing my life in the third person, not just after the fact, but while it was happening. At times, I've found myself in situations like hers, surrounded by people I didn't know, not knowing how I got there, but going with the flow. Even woken up the next morning regretting whose bed I was in. If I'm some dude who can relate to alot of this story, why is it so unbelievable that it could happen to a woman?

Point is, it's entirely possible to reflect on one's life from an embellished, romanticised point of view. It's sometimes easier to be detached when bad shit happens. It becomes easier to be detached when your job slips from dancing to turn men on, to giving hand-jobs to get men off, to just letting them sleep with you. And it can even happen if you're in college making an easy buck. Or so I've heard.
posted by Nquire at 1:03 AM on September 1, 2007

Yet someone is keeping all these stores in business.

In a city with eight million residents, that's not a lot of stores.

However, my suspicions weren't aroused by the needle point per se -- as Maia says, her grandmother has a needlepoint dancing rabbi on her wall. It was more the idea of needlepoint inspirational sayings.

BTW, thanks for the support, M, but wasn't your last apartment above a needlepoint store. :-)

And if you're going to give that kind of detail, why wouldn't you actually say what the sayings were? I'm fascinated to know what they could have been?

One 'ho at a time?
What Would Guiliani Do?
God grant me the serenity to accept the fact that my husband humps hookers in my bed, the courage to kick his horny ass out on the street, and the wisdom to know when I'm being played for a fool?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:23 AM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

If I'm some dude who can relate to alot of this story, why is it so unbelievable that it could happen to a woman?

Of course it's not "unbelievable"—the whole point of a fake is to be believable. The problem is that (for those of us who find it dubious) the believable parts are so generic pretty much anyone with some imagination and a decent prose style could have written them. It's fascinating to me that some people, as a default, believe what they read—it would take some serious evidence to convince them that something they enjoy reading online is fake—whereas others default to skepticism. (The Kaycee thread was a perfect example of this.) I try to maintain an open mind, and I'm not saying this is definitely fake, but I'm leaning that way. This comment of the Mayor's is particularly convincing; that's exactly the kind of detail that an inventive writer would think up without thinking it through enough to realize it's bullshit.

Kirk fucks Spock on a bed of penne vodka.

This thread is worthwhile if just for that line.
posted by languagehat at 5:56 AM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have at least two female friends who describe their breasts as 'double D's'.
I thought they were talking about Dunkin' Donuts.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:43 AM on September 1, 2007

I have at least two female friends who describe their breasts as "double D's".

these female friends, they are fat rather overweight, right?

major curley has it, so fake it hurts
posted by mr.marx at 2:46 PM on September 1, 2007

I love how the needlepoint thing has become the pivotal issue of this discussion.

Plate of beans, indeed.

"Oh yeah, maybe you'll find needlepoint in Brooklyn, yeah sure, but not in Manhattan. My god, no, not in Manhattan... they'd never pass the entrance exam. It simply wouldn't happen."

She says it happened in Battery Park, which is the southern end of Manhattan, which places it closest to... Brooklyn.

Endlessly amusing to a non-NY'er. Such strict distinctions.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:13 PM on September 2, 2007

OK, look, about th eembroidered sampler - to address the ridiculous specificity of it - I can imagine seeing a 'sampler' on some wall in some apartment: Not all of Manhattan is chic and fabulous and Sex In The City like. Some of it is ploddingly mundane. This detail did not impress me.

But, ridiculously (because I never thought about the blog this much until now), what makes me hesitate from viewing it as potentially bogus or genuine is that the writing simply is not that good. It;s not horrible: there are complete sentences and etc., but odd details stand out, and there is a marked lack of self-awareness on the part of the 'narrator.'

Can't she just be a working girl who doesn't write so well?
posted by From Bklyn at 1:36 PM on September 2, 2007

Re the prostitute review site: she doesn't say the site owner took down the review, just that he removed her personal info. I quote:

After a moment of being completely panicked by the fact that my cell phone number was posted on a site identifying me as a prostitute, I contacted the administrator of the group and he agreed to remove my personal info.

So that particular piece of evidence is, well, not so compelling.
posted by skoosh at 9:38 AM on September 3, 2007

hindcandenza, mr marx:

Grr.

I am not overweight. On the other hand, up until Sunday I thought I had double-D's. Turns out I've actually got Gs. Fuck. Now I can't buy bras anymore.

I want to be a D-cup again :(
posted by ysabet at 3:36 PM on September 3, 2007

ysabet: Pictures, or it didn't happen. :)

cali: DD is not an uncommon size, and since it's the largest standard size pretty bras are made in even an E is probably squeezing into a DD and telling themselves that's their size. Hincandenza's comment irritated me, because the 'droopy boobs' paragraph is pretty much spot on. Even if this isn't a prostitute it's someone very familiar with the pros and cons of having big boobs.

Uh... DD = E. They're the same size, technically, although different bra manufacturers may vary for the same reason that a size 8 is different for different clothing manufacturers- namely, that women are obsessed with numbers and size for god knows what reason.

I have a friend who used to work in a lingerie store, and she tells me that virtually every woman who comes in, comes in wearing the wrong size bra. Often, they go for smaller cup sizes or the wrong band size, presumably because they'd rather be a "3x-M" than a "3y-N", even though the latter will fit vastly better. And the truth is, even for unusually large breasts, there are places to buy well fitted, good looking bras. Get a proper measurement, and that G cup can be comfortable and supporting, and you won't have to do crazy stuff like getting them reduced.


Back to the original point: the term "double D's" sounds Penthouse-letter cliched, and it's hardly proof of womanhood to mention the drooping thing- verisimilitude is not hard to achieve these days, and any guy who likes breasts knows that natural breasts hang and sway, or pancake in a non-perfectly-spherical way. We're not stupid, you know. :)
posted by hincandenza at 11:19 AM on September 4, 2007

Also, don't lump me in with mr.marx; I never said or implied that large breasts = fat. DD is only a 5-inch difference between band and bust, which isn't much on a woman who's, say, 5'8" or taller; such a woman might not even be considered particularly busty.
posted by hincandenza at 11:26 AM on September 4, 2007