oh what tangled webs we weave....GOP Rep McHenry's roomies, and more

September 28, 2007 2:14 PM

McHenry and his "roommates" -- GOP Rep Patrick McHenry (NC), co-owner of a DC home with Scott G. Stewart, former chair of the College Republican Nat'l Cttee (and bilker of many senior citizens), received a DC home-ownership reduction improperly. McHenry's actual home in North Carolina was apparently also home to quite a collection of young men: (convicted fraudulent voter) Michael Aaron Lay, Neil Everett Capano, Matthew Allen Hamilton, and (multiple violations, including "death by vehicle") Jason Jent Deans. Also, McHenry's 04 consultant Ralph Gonzales was one of the men involved in a recent FL murder/suicide, and links to Robert Drake, the killer (political work in NC and escort service connections), are still being documented. Stay tuned!

There's other same-sex homeowner news too--Condi Rice and Randy Bean (they also share a line of credit).

Under Don't Ask, Don't Tell, same-sex home ownership is enough to get a DADT investigation/witchhunt going. Ralls said on September 14 . "SLDN is aware of cases where servicemembers have been investigated for owning a home with a person of the same gender." McHenry is a staunch supporter of the policy that prohibits openly gay or lesbian Americans to serve in the nation's armed forces.

Big big roundup on McHenry here at Pam's House Blend (much much more dirt and crimes)== Untangling the latest GOP gay scandal with Mike Signorile

posted by amberglow (67 comments total)

What's the difference between a Log Cabin Republican and a Log Jammin' Republican?
posted by Curry at 2:16 PM on September 28, 2007

What's the difference between a Log Cabin Republican and a Log Jammin' Republican?
nothing? ; >

This is definitely the juiciest set of intertwined scandals i've seen in a long long time.


Also related: Gen Pace and DADT and "God's law"
posted by amberglow at 2:22 PM on September 28, 2007

What's the difference between a Log Cabin Republican and a Log Jammin' Republican?

$20, same as in town.
posted by drezdn at 2:23 PM on September 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

Wide Stance Republican, please!
posted by anthill at 2:23 PM on September 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

It really makes me wonder why some Republicans are so opposed to the "gay agenda."
posted by drezdn at 2:23 PM on September 28, 2007

It really makes me wonder why some Republicans are so opposed to the "gay agenda."

Considering their conviction records, I'm wondering how they can call themselves in favor of "law & order".
posted by tommasz at 2:30 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

It interferes with their own gay agendas, drezdn, darling.
posted by wendell at 2:31 PM on September 28, 2007

I'm shocked to discover that Condi is a Bean flicker.
posted by Curry at 2:32 PM on September 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

Wide Stance Republican, please!

Wide Stance? it's a wonder McHenry can walk at all, with all those guys around!
posted by amberglow at 2:33 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

So wait, Don't Ask, Don't Tell involves the military investigating home ownership? Isn't that kind of like a roundabout way of, I don't know, asking?
posted by TrialByMedia at 2:37 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

I lived so close to McHenry's home that you can see my car in the Google satellite image. The weird thing is that it wasn't a particularly nice neighborhood in 2001-2002, when he lived there--mostly first-wave gentrifiers, you know, hippies and gays.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:38 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

This shit is just to ridiculous for words.
posted by nola at 2:42 PM on September 28, 2007

I lived so close to McHenry's home that you can see my car in the Google satellite image.

I'm afraid that if I 'zoom-out' on that satellite image that block of apartments will also form a swastika.
posted by ericb at 2:47 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Condi Rice and Randy Bean

Come on, amberglow, what you trying to imply? Randy is a guy's name! Err, wait. What?
posted by ericb at 2:48 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you get just the right amount of zoom, that house looks like Osama Bin laden. Or a raisin.
posted by 2sheets at 2:50 PM on September 28, 2007

In (somewhat) related news --

Larry Craig's Home Away from Home

The New York Times takes a look at life at the Capital Yacht Club, where Larry Craig makes his home in D.C., on a houseboat:

"Members typically make public few details about their nautical lives, and Congressional rules require them to disclose boats as assets only if they produce income or are bought or sold. Mr. Craig, who is known as exceptionally frugal, unwittingly called attention to the club when he gave the arresting officer in Minneapolis his club mail drop as a home address, 1000 Water Street SW. Mr. Craig, an outdoorsman who likes to fish and hunt, is a well-known figure at the marinas, where he has lived off and on during his Congressional career. Ed Johnson, a resident of the Gangplank Marina who has long known Mr. Craig, describes the waterfront as a fancy trailer park. Neighbors float only a few arms-lengths away from one another. Most shower in bathhouses, and, after hours, gossip over drinks."

Well, we now know what sold it for the Senator from Idaho."

posted by ericb at 2:52 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wait. I think we're overlooking the obvious here. Rice and Bean?
posted by ColdChef at 2:52 PM on September 28, 2007 [11 favorites]

And hey! Allegations of "abusive horndogging and financial impropriety" against Scott Stewart! Neat!
posted by rtha at 2:57 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's one Bean plate Condi's looking over with relish.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:59 PM on September 28, 2007

*sits back and overthinks Rice and Bean*
posted by lekvar at 3:10 PM on September 28, 2007 [7 favorites]

if Al Qaeda is the arm of Allah we can safely say that the GOP is the fist of God
posted by matteo at 3:15 PM on September 28, 2007 [4 favorites]

So, the Dems are God's vestigial tail?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:18 PM on September 28, 2007

Holy crap, the GOP are fisting God? That's hard core.
posted by quin at 3:28 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Most shower in bathhouses, and, after hours, gossip over drinks."

GOP: Goatse Ogling Party
posted by Curry at 3:31 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

Holy crap, the GOP are fisting God? That's hard core.

Also known as the "Four-Fingered Sign of the Cross." In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Ghostly Hole.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on September 28, 2007 [6 favorites]

Holy crap, the GOP are fisting God? That's hard core.

They spread much more than democracy, and widen more than the income gap.
posted by Curry at 3:40 PM on September 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

And yet, somehow, we all have to take it in the end...
posted by stenseng at 3:46 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

It really makes me wonder why some Republicans are so opposed to the “gay agenda.”

The Republican Gay Agenda
as per Jeff Gannon/Jeff Guckert, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy Jr., etc.

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are laying on 100% Egyptian cotton sheets of at least ‘300-count,’ so don’t panic; you’re not slumming.

8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed in Dupont Circle (for a change). Wake stranger next to you and tell him you are late for work, so you won’t be able to cook breakfast for him. Mutter ‘sorry’ as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You realize that you tore his boxers off him last night, so you ‘loan’ him a pair of tighty-white briefs, but not the new 2Xist ones because you never intend to see him again.

8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, ‘It was fun. I’ll give you a call,’ as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.

8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.

8:07 a.m. Make a high-protein breakfast shake while watching CNN. Wonder if the stories you’ve heard about Anderson Cooper are true. Decide they must be.

8:30 a.m. Black or grey suit? Decide to go with black, the only shirt that is clean and the ubiquitous red-striped rep tie.

8:45 a.m. Climb into BMW, trying not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories, as you pull out of your underground parking. Chanel or Armani sunglasses? Go with Armani. Save the Chanel for Rehobeth this weekend.

9:35 a.m. Stroll into The Russell Senate Office Building.

9:36 a.m. Close door to office and call best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend’s boyfriend but quickly add ‘It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, just as long as you love him.’

10:15 a.m. Leave office, telling your secretary you are ‘meeting with some of your boss’s constituents.’ Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of the eyes (or the cloying ‘poem’ she has tacked to her cubicle wall).

10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for highlights and trim. Purchase Aveda anti-humectant pomade.

11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you ‘Human Growth Hormones.’ Spend 30-minutes talking to friends on your cell phone. Cardio for 30-minutes; lift weights for 20.

12:50 p.m. Tan. Schedule back-waxing in time for Saturday party where you know you will end up shirtless.

1:05 p.m. Pay trainer for anabolic steroids and schedule a workout. Shower, dry and dress while taking ten minutes to knot your red-striped rep tie while you check-out your best friend’s boyfriend undress with the calculation of someone used to wearing a ‘g-string thong’ and having dollars stuffed in his crotch.

1:40 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from Manhunt for lunch at the ‘hot, new restaurant.’ Because the maître d’ recognizes you from the The Crew Club, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 1:00 p.m.

2:30 p.m. ‘Dessert at your place.’ Find out, once again, people lie on Manhunt.

3:33 p.m. Make your way to Capitol Hill. Make sure the senator for whom you are an aide votes ‘lock-step’ against your personal interests.

5:00 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from being so ‘terribly witty.’

6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Pinot Grigio.

6:47 P.M. Bake Ketamine for the weekend. Test recipe. Call ‘Juan’ to score some ‘X’ and ‘White Lady’ (really, just for friends) tomorrow before heading to Delaware for the weekend.

7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, ‘Over! So way over!’

7:40 P.M. Stop looking at the A&F photographic displays and the ‘hottie’ retail-boys and go to ‘cool store’ to shop for a new bathing suit (“Does this make me look fat?”) for the weekend in Rehobeth.

8:30 p.m. Light dinner with ‘catty’ homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be ‘over’ by the time it gets its first review in the ‘Washington Blade.’

10:30 p.m. Cocktails at JR’s, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can’t navigate a crowd with a Stoli in a cheap plastic cup. Get plastered. Invite one of the alcoholic queens home with you.

12:00 a.m. ‘Nightcap at your place.’ Find out that people lie in bars, too.”

Rinse-and-repeat.

posted by ericb at 3:51 PM on September 28, 2007 [35 favorites]

Holy crap, the GOP are fisting God? That's hard core.

You know who else liked a good fisting? Conservative Chancellor of the Exchequor, Norman Lamont.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:56 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

They spread much more than democracy, and widen more than the income gap.

GOPtse.cx
posted by ericb at 3:57 PM on September 28, 2007

Someone open a window and let all this innuendo out.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:06 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

In u end? O!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:13 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm a little late to this thread, but this guy is from my hometown and yes, I know him and his family. His politics are so ignorantly, blindly conservative that whenever I see him in the media I am immediately nauseated and have flashbacks of growing up in my miserably oppressive hometown. The small-minded attitudes never fail to amaze me, and if he were, indeed, outed as being a member of a lifestyle class he opposes, I admit I would feel schadenfreude.

Sorry, made this personal.
posted by frumious bandersnatch at 4:51 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's Raining Men
posted by Poolio at 4:52 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hallelujah!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:59 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

I admit I would feel schadenfreude.

Will you leave poor Schadenfreude alone! You sick bastard.
posted by tkchrist at 5:02 PM on September 28, 2007

Will you leave poor Schadenfreude alone! You sick bastard.

Don't listen to tkchrist. Go ahead and give him the old Schadenfreudian slip. Hallelujah!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:05 PM on September 28, 2007

The New York Times takes a look at life at the Capital Yacht Club, where Larry Craig makes his home in D.C., on a houseboat:

It's all criminals and closetcases!!! -- Duke Cunningham -- boat used to be called "Buoy Toy" when it was owned by his also-criminal gay friends, Larry Craig, Traficant, Ted Stevens, Rostenkowski, Ney, ....
posted by amberglow at 5:09 PM on September 28, 2007

Give Me Liberty or Give Me ... Dual Statehood?

someone had to try.

I thought we already had this thread, but I suppose not.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:11 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are laying on 100% Egyptian cotton sheets of at least ‘300-count,’ so don’t panic; you’re not slumming.

8:05 a.m. Make a high-protein breakfast shake while watching CNN. Wonder if the stories you’ve heard about Anderson Cooper are true. Decide they must be.

8:07 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, ‘It was fun. I’ll give you a call,’ as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.

Fixed.
posted by ryoshu at 5:20 PM on September 28, 2007

he did not know whether Rice and Bean's relationship

They need to adopt a child and name it Plantain.
posted by jonmc at 5:26 PM on September 28, 2007

This has got to be a double. I saw an earlier post about a closeted GOP lawmaker just the other day. In fact, I seem to remember several of these posts.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:37 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Maybe GOP stands for 'Gay Ol' Party.'

In homage to Fred Flintstone, of course.
posted by jonmc at 5:39 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

*Touches Schadenfreude inappropriately*

*Gets arrested*

*Notices that everyone around is feeling malevolently happy because I got busted.*

Fuckers.
posted by quin at 5:46 PM on September 28, 2007

This has got to be a double. I saw an earlier post about a closeted GOP lawmaker just the other day. In fact, I seem to remember several of these posts.

In big O notation it would be an O(n²). Useful for things like an insertion sort.
posted by ryoshu at 5:46 PM on September 28, 2007

More on Rice and Bean. Ms. Bean is a liberal progressive documentary filmmaker (not that there's anything wrong with that). And apparently one can bounce a quarter off of Secretary Rice's buttocks like a rocket:

After she became secretary of state, she came to a party at Blacker's house, kicked off her shoes, and began dancing through the night to rock and and roll. Blacker, who is gay, wanted to show his partner how tight her behind is; he postulated that if he aimed a quarter at her butt, it would bounce off like a rocket. He was right. Rice, who was dancing, didn't realize what he had done until everyone began laughing hysterically. She was flattered -- and proud.

"Say it loud--I got back and I'm proud!"
posted by kirkaracha at 6:03 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yikes, I knew there was some big story behind that murder-suicide trio incident, but I didn't know that there was a whole damn ring. Where do Gannon-Guckert and phony marine boy whats-his-name fit in?

The family values party strikes again!
posted by madamjujujive at 6:24 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

Condi dancing, you say? I saw gettin' down at a Shaggy show in June. No shit.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:47 PM on September 28, 2007

I think there's a quote from Pulp Fiction that sums this thread up.

Not that I'm not proud of you all, mind you.
posted by eriko at 8:02 PM on September 28, 2007

"Bring out the gimp?"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:07 PM on September 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

Incredible. The Republicans have turned out more gay and lesbian political figures in the last 7 years than the Democrats have in 70.

What gives? Why is it that every Dem senator/congressman/official has been married to a boring ol' opposite-sex partner for 30 years, while about half the Repubs are having filthy gay hedonistic sex and living with coked-out hitmen and rent boys? Why can't the Dems be that exciting?

Oh yeah, lolfamily values, lolmoral majority, etc. etc.
posted by Avenger at 8:33 PM on September 28, 2007

Please. As if any self-respecting dyke buys shoes from Ferragamo.

Oh, wait, self-respecting. Never mind.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 9:38 PM on September 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ms. Bean is a liberal progressive documentary filmmaker

and she's also this guy's sister!
posted by matteo at 12:16 AM on September 29, 2007

And apparently one can bounce a quarter off of Secretary Rice's buttocks like a rocket

I like Condi's butt and I can not lie,
You other brothers can deny
But when the Secretary of State walks in with her itty bitty waist,
And shoves her round thing in my face,
I get sprung...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:30 AM on September 29, 2007

I think there's a quote from Pulp Fiction that sums this thread up.

"Get the Gimp?"
posted by Hat Maui at 1:12 AM on September 29, 2007

one can bounce a quarter off of Secretary Rice's buttocks like a rocket

If you throw a quarter at her ass, the quarter breaks into tiny pieces and explodes in a hyperdense fuel-air bomb?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:41 AM on September 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think that this proves that from here on out, if one hears a politician espousing policies that remove rights or keep rights away from the gay community, we can assume that if male, he has more than passing familiarity with glory holes.

The female goppers don't seem to be as vehement about "teh ghay", or maybe they're just overshadowed by all the male goppers who hate the ghay unless, you know, it happens to be their mouth, ass or penis involved. Then the gay is ok. Cause, it's not actually gay. It's just party bonding, doncha know.
posted by Peecabu at 7:06 AM on September 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Humans are weird.
posted by Skygazer at 9:37 AM on September 29, 2007

Ericb, dude, that was great, but, please Rehoboth Beach, not Rehobeth.

/almost home-town boosterismness
posted by mmahaffie at 9:47 AM on September 29, 2007

FYI: Drag queen Vaginal Davis claims that Condi is her first cousin.
posted by ranchocalamari at 12:23 PM on September 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

FYI: Drag queen Vaginal Davis claims that Condi is her first cousin.

yup-- Hey kids! Guess who's first cousins with our new Secretary of State? ; >
posted by amberglow at 2:01 PM on September 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think that this proves that from here on out, if one hears a politician espousing policies that remove rights or keep rights away from the gay community, we can assume that if male, he has more than passing familiarity with glory holes.

Exactly.
posted by amberglow at 2:06 PM on September 29, 2007

The Republican Gay Agenda

BTW -- this agenda was inspired and based-on BettyBowers.com -- the website of BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals) which has two stated goals:

"(1) To turn people God has told us He hates anyway into profitable, attention-getting PUBLICITY MACHINES who will finally contribute to society and the economy by increasing Family Values fundraising and church tithings!; and

(2) To provide artistic husbands to women who become flummoxed when arranging flowers, picking complementary fabrics for lining drapes, need help when it comes to choosing furniture or throw pillows, or have historically ruined otherwise suitable outfits by slipping on the wrong pair of shoes."

posted by ericb at 2:14 PM on September 29, 2007

The more and more this goes on the more I suspect that the GOP are loudly proclaiming the evils of Teh Gay because they want to keep it all to themselves.
posted by lekvar at 4:47 PM on September 29, 2007

Damn DC closets are way to small; forget about camping in one.

Hitler believed that homosexuality was "degenerate behavior" which posed a threat to the capacity of the state, gay men became "enemies of the state". There was also a fear among Nazis of a "gay gene" contamination. Hitler's Nazi SA leader was Ernst Röhm, the Brownshirt who had brought Hitler to power. Röhm was outed. Hitler saw Röhm as a potential threat to his power. The book burning began in 1933-1934 coinciding with the purge known as the The Night of the Long Knives. This began with the killing of Röhm and his supporters. Following the purge the rounding up of gays followed being both through and quick.

All this leads to the question; are these people that stupid ? Maybe they are just seeing if they can make history come out differently this time. Maybe they're just insane?
posted by Rancid Badger at 12:26 AM on September 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

They're power-hungry, and good at lying, Rancid. And self-loathing for a variety of reasons--they also think they're not like the rest of us and will be protected (but as we see, they won't be).

very very related: Today was Sen. Craig's deadline to resign, but it didn't happen.
posted by amberglow at 4:14 PM on September 30, 2007

and in further Craig news--he's telling you he's not going.... A defiant Sen. Larry Craig vowed to stay in the U.S. Senate despite a Hennepin County District judge's ruling Thursday that his guilty plea to disorderly conduct in the Twin Cities airport restroom was accurate, voluntary and intelligent.
Craig, R-Idaho, said he is innocent and disappointed by the ruling. "I will continue to serve Idaho in the United States Senate, and there are several reasons for that," he said. "As I continued to work for Idaho over the past three weeks here in the Senate, I have seen that it is possible for me to work here effectively." ...
posted by amberglow at 5:10 PM on October 4, 2007