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The Christianity Candidate
October 9, 2007 7:33 AM   Subscribe

He's the candidate God would vote for, if God could legally vote. Not endorsed by Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, or that Sam Harris dude. Previously.
posted by malaprohibita (23 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Obviously a hoax. He's collecting bottles and cans for recycling.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:45 AM on October 9, 2007


i always love how the suv driving, suit-wearing evangelicals get a free pass while leftists continue to make fun of "hillbillies"

by the way, only the beer drinking guy has the accent down, the other doesn't
posted by pyramid termite at 8:00 AM on October 9, 2007


SUV driving, suit-wearing evangelicals get a free pass? Leftists (as opposed to LOLywood "libruls") have made fun of hillbillies at any point in the last 10 years?

You listen to too much Rush.
posted by DU at 8:06 AM on October 9, 2007


I fucking HATE Rush. Every time I go to Canada they are on high rotation on all the radio stations.
posted by Sk4n at 8:08 AM on October 9, 2007


Strange how this diverged into Rush. I grew up in West Virginia, live in the South, have fought against the hillbilly stereotype my entire life, and I still find this biting satire as well as hilarious. These guys know too much about the South not to come from here.

Different strokes, I suppose.
posted by malaprohibita at 8:19 AM on October 9, 2007


A quick click to the website will show that these guys are from Middle Tennessee and went to Middle Tenn. State University. They now live in LA, given the need to make a living. Meanwhile, Larry the Cable Guy" is wildly popular in the Deep South, and he's from Nebraska, keeping homes in Nebraska and north of Orlando, which is not the South.
posted by raysmj at 8:24 AM on October 9, 2007


Leftists (as opposed to LOLywood "libruls") have made fun of hillbillies at any point in the last 10 years?

I'm a leftist, and I use both rural Maine dialect and southern dialect in a mocking tone several times a day. Does that make me a bad leftist? Probably in your eyes. But I actually grew up around rural people and know hundreds of them by their first names.

The only leftists who think hillbillies are saints in mackintoshes are smarmy Leninists who drive past farms at 60 mph. And prepubescent hippie children who have just finished a James Herriott book.

Oh, and moderate, cynical, weak-left leftists who want to suck up to rural types in order to get them to vote Democrat. They can't stop talking about how they love hillbillies, soldiers and religious nuts (at least until the next presidential election.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:24 AM on October 9, 2007


I grew up in West Virginia.

It takes balls to admit that (I should know). Funny how neither of us live there anymore. That whole 'no jobs' thing makes it a little difficult to stick around.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:40 AM on October 9, 2007


You got it, chuckdarwin. The state of the economy there depresses me to no end.
posted by malaprohibita at 8:43 AM on October 9, 2007


The shitty coal-based economy in WV depressed down upon me so hard, that I squished out and flew all the across the ocean (sort of like a human tiddlywink)!

Well met, sir. Where did you wind up, Charlotte? Lexington? Virginia Beach? Somewhere civilised? ;-) No, wait... Atlanta. It's like the South's very own black hole.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:48 AM on October 9, 2007


(there was a wayward "way" in that sentence, I'm sure of it)

I kind of like the red state report. I don't think these guys are mean-spirited in their methods. It's a much sharper brand of Southern humour than one would hear on any number of stupid morning radio shows.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:52 AM on October 9, 2007


The Triangle of North Carolina. An island of sanity (and you're right about Atlanta).

I agree. The Red State Update guys are not mean spirited. They remind me of politically savvy Jerry Clowers.
posted by malaprohibita at 9:01 AM on October 9, 2007


The Triangle of North Carolina.

I know it well. I love the Outer Banks, as well.

Jerry Clowers

Now, there's a name which I'll bet has never graced the blue before! My dad and I used to listen to him when I was a kid.
posted by chuckdarwin at 9:05 AM on October 9, 2007


A sample of Jerry Clower's routine for the uninitiated. (Youtube SFW)

Listening to Jerry Clower with my dad in the car is a distinct childhood memory of mine. Serendipity!
posted by malaprohibita at 9:15 AM on October 9, 2007


Whoa nellie. There is a wide space between writing of the rural blue-collar constituency as hopeless "hillbillies" and thinking of them as "saints in overalls." Has the American left not been there and done that?

You can't change American politics without engaging the "redneck" constituency, and thinking of them as stupid or irredeemable does not help, as well as being ignorant and classist.
posted by spitbull at 9:48 AM on October 9, 2007


You can't change American politics without engaging the "redneck" constituency, and thinking of them as stupid or irredeemable does not help, as well as being ignorant and classist.

Right. Include them in your vision, then. Reshape american politics to include both bleeding hearts and bleeding gums. Just make sure the utopia you're building has huge prints of Jesus riding on an eagle. Oh, and do something with all them homosexuals, okay? What's the middle ground between letting them live their lives and incinerating them?

The rainbow you're going to build won't match the one in your blueprint-- it's going to be covered in tobacco stains and dents from runaway pickups pretty quickly. And then an angry mob will pull your new rainbow down because they want to build a racetrack and a Wal Mart.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:40 AM on October 9, 2007


I don't hate -insert stereotype-'s. Heck, I'm even friends with a -insert stereotype-.
posted by garlic at 1:39 PM on October 9, 2007


NOT -INSERT STEROTYPE-IST
posted by GuyZero at 2:12 PM on October 9, 2007


Funny, I thought God's man was Lee L. Mercer, Jr.
posted by Pollomacho at 2:21 PM on October 9, 2007


That was worth it just for the Christian glands.
posted by frobozz at 3:06 PM on October 9, 2007


Mayor Curley, after spending the better part of a decade in redneck world, I challenge your cynicism. "Bleeding gums" -- nice one. If you don't have dental insurance, you tend to have bad teeth.
posted by spitbull at 5:15 PM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


"They're all christian...well, christian-ish" showing Mit was comedy gold.
posted by bystander at 5:33 PM on October 9, 2007


Mayor Curley, after spending the better part of a decade in redneck world, I challenge your cynicism.

You're wasting your time. Mayor Curley is a bigot. But he loves black people, and he as soon as he meets one you'll see.
posted by justgary at 9:51 AM on October 16, 2007


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