I'm an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

October 15, 2007 9:37 AM

"I called [Stephen] Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to 'shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.'”
posted by NotMyselfRightNow (56 comments total)

Oh fuck me it's Maureen Dowd. I'd happily forgotten she existed.

BRING BACK TIMES SELECT.

(Nothing against you, nmrn, or the content of this particular piece. It's just a reminder that a post of something idiotic from Thomas Friedman can't be far off.)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:46 AM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito.

is lolworthy.
posted by mr. remy at 9:47 AM on October 15, 2007

I would have thought that with Maureen Dowd's fixation on Al Gore (who she once compared to the "wackadoo wing of the Democratic Party" for his criticism of the Iraq war), she would have used the occasion of Gore's Nobel Prize to write about, you know, Al Gore or perhaps climate change.
posted by Staggering Jack at 9:47 AM on October 15, 2007

Does Colbert ever go out of character?
posted by furtive at 9:49 AM on October 15, 2007

Having now read this, it's kind of a bummer that Colbert used the opportunity to basically write an ad for his book. Sure, sure, there's a layer of satire there, but still.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:51 AM on October 15, 2007

Does Colbert ever go out of character?

I think you'll agree that Krugman, Dowd, Friedman et al at the Times also rant about the same things week after week. You want a *really* good columnist who delivers a lot of variety, go read James Surowiecki.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:52 AM on October 15, 2007

He was out of character in the Fresh Air interview last week.

I'm probably 20 years behind in laughing at this, but: "coup d'moi"
posted by DU at 9:52 AM on October 15, 2007

furtive: Yes.
posted by Cyrano at 9:53 AM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Ugh, Dowd. I imagine her as the society scene columnist who takes over a vacant office in editorial a la Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Success. The big joke is that her colleagues and readers take her seriously.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:54 AM on October 15, 2007

Having now read this, it's kind of a bummer that Colbert used the opportunity to basically write an ad for his book.

But is it satire or truth? Because everyone plugs their books in the Op-Ed page... that's why they write them.
posted by smackfu at 9:56 AM on October 15, 2007

furtive: Yes.
posted by ND¢ at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

For what it's worth, after reading his article, I was unaware that he was selling a book.

If he is marketing one, he's doing an exceptionally poor job of it.
posted by Malor at 10:00 AM on October 15, 2007

furtive: Yes.
posted by Gary at 10:07 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Does Colbert ever go out of character?

Character?
posted by Pollomacho at 10:07 AM on October 15, 2007

Having now read this, it's kind of a bummer that Colbert used the opportunity to basically write an ad for his book.

I think that's more poking fun at op-ed writers, who come on to his show and plug their bestselling books.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:08 AM on October 15, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Lentrohamsanin writes "Having now read this, it's kind of a bummer that Colbert used the opportunity to basically write an ad for his book. Sure, sure, there's a layer of satire there, but still."

Ah, you know, I sort of take that as part of his character. He's always trying to sell himself and his products, shamelessly.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:12 AM on October 15, 2007

For what it's worth, after reading his article, I was unaware that he was selling a book.

If he is marketing one, he's doing an exceptionally poor job of it.

Number 4 on the Barnes & Noble Top Selling list.
posted by Mr_Zero at 10:13 AM on October 15, 2007

Right, but for me the satire still gets a question mark, because he did just launch a book. I can't help but think we're seeing this piece now because a publicist arranged for it, not because Colbert and Dowd thought it would be an interesting tweak of the Op-Ed page.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:14 AM on October 15, 2007

Although he does go out of character, he tends to stick to a few of the same well-prepared stories. Not just now with the book tour, but in most interviews from the last few years. I think his own interviewing technique has taught him to be defensive when talking about his own personal life.

In fact, his own quote is: "People want to be on TV. I would not advise anyone to talk to the media unless they've already talked to the media and need to redeem themselves.".
posted by Gary at 10:17 AM on October 15, 2007

I can't help but think we're seeing this piece now because a publicist arranged for it

It was still funny, to me.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:21 AM on October 15, 2007

Flipping channels last night I came across Colbert on Larry King. I was kinda disappointed that the highlight clips they'd play in and out of ads contained very much the same material as was in the NY Times piece. Surely if you're going to be doing a drive by ad in the Times, you should at least take the time to write some new material, no?
posted by Keith Talent at 10:27 AM on October 15, 2007

If he is marketing one, he's doing an exceptionally poor job of it.

I was aware of it, so anecdotally, he's been doing a spectacular job. He promoted it on his show constantly (I'm thinking his viewing audience is also, likely, the demographic who may purchase the book) and on CNN. Featured Bestseller at Amazon (though I suspect that is random) and currently number 4 on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Number 3 at Amazon.ca.
posted by juiceCake at 10:28 AM on October 15, 2007

From Gary's link to the Onion A.V. Club interview with Colbert:
What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press. They call the press "liberal," they call the press "biased," not necessarily because it is or because they have problems with the facts of the left—or even because of the bias for the left, because it's hard not to be biased in some way, everyone is always going to enter their editorial opinion—but because a press that has validity is a press that has authority. And as soon as there's any authority to what the press says, you question the authority of the government—it's like the existence of another authority.

Money. Quote.
posted by JHarris at 10:32 AM on October 15, 2007 [19 favorites has favorites]

Regarding the book, and I say this as a drooling Colbert fanboy: It's... all right?

The whole thing's kind of an extended, annotated edition of The Word with graphs and charts and shit.

There are some truly hilarious bits, and many, many bits that induce chuckles. But other things that are just kind of there, and are much improved when either mentally read in Colbert's voice or read by Colbert himself.

The same was true of Hodgman's book, really.

And he's flogged it endlessly on his show (it's entirely fitting for his character to flog it endlessly despite the fact that he hates books), and during the toss between the Daily Show and his own show. The NYT thing is of a piece with that.

His Kanye/Fiddy-biting faux-challenge with/to Paul Krugman is amusing (if his book doesn't outsell Krugman's in its first week, he said he'd quit The Report).
posted by sparkletone at 10:40 AM on October 15, 2007

I can't help but think we're seeing this piece now because a publicist arranged for it

Good Christ, aren't you aware that that's why we see 99% of what's in the media? All those people interviewed (yes, even on Fresh Air), all those celebrity guests, all those op-ed writers—they're all plugging something. And why shouldn't they? If you'd written a book, wouldn't you want people to buy it? The only relevant question is: is Colbert funny? And the answer is yes. Maureen Dowd normally gives me hives, but I enjoyed this column.

Though I do share Lentrohamsanin's concern about possible Friedman sightings on the blue.
posted by languagehat at 10:41 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

There are some truly hilarious bits, and many, many bits that induce chuckles. But other things that are just kind of there, and are much improved when either mentally read in Colbert's voice or read by Colbert himself.

After listening to the three hour audiobook, I have to disagree. Read in his own voice for three hours gets really grating really early on.
posted by drezdn at 10:46 AM on October 15, 2007

Keith Talent writes "Flipping channels last night I came across Colbert on Larry King. I was kinda disappointed that the highlight clips they'd play in and out of ads contained very much the same material as was in the NY Times piece. Surely if you're going to be doing a drive by ad in the Times, you should at least take the time to write some new material, no?"

Oh, I don't know. I think it's enough that his show is consistently good. I'd prefer some hilarious and brilliant one-off for the Times, but I'm not really disappointed.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:47 AM on October 15, 2007

Good Christ, aren't you aware that that's why we see 99% of what's in the media?

I guess I naively saw a difference between the media interview circuit and the NYT editorial pages. Of course Fresh Air and Conan and Leonard Lopate are about hawking books and self-promotion, I just get uncomfortable when transparent promotion on the editorial pages doesn't raise an eyebrow, or is even actively looked at as a good thing. For fuck's sake, the guy's got a nightly platform to hawk his book, and he's on the interview circuit already. He couldn't do something a little more meaty with this opportunity, like he did with the press club dinner?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 10:53 AM on October 15, 2007

I am four chapters into the audiobook and I am pretty meh about it. Some funny stuff, but nothing all that great.
posted by ND¢ at 11:05 AM on October 15, 2007

My students are quite conservative, and they honestly do not believe that he is a satirist. So, keep the "out of character" links coming, since I'll be putting them on my class website.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:18 AM on October 15, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Here are the links to the Fresh Air interviews mentioned already (two years ago and promoting the book).
posted by Gary at 11:28 AM on October 15, 2007

He couldn't do something a little more meaty with this opportunity, like he did with the press club dinner?

What? You don't think his hints about making a run for the White House were meaty enough? How much you want to bet that Colbert would actually carry the gag of a serious presidential candidacy through to its logical conclusion if he managed to garner enough ironic support? Now that's what I want to see. President Colbert: The free-world's first ironic President.
posted by saulgoodman at 11:31 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

My students are quite conservative, and they honestly do not believe that he is a satirist.

*shudder*

Wow. Really? Seriously.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:51 AM on October 15, 2007

Kevin: Yes. Republicans are stupid. Go figure.
posted by Reggie Digest at 11:53 AM on October 15, 2007

Yeah, seriously. I'm moving the syllabus around this week, to insert a week on satire later in the semester.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:53 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I refuse to believe you LobsterMitten. If only so that I can maintain some faith in humanity.
posted by Llama-Lime at 11:59 AM on October 15, 2007

LobsterMitten writes "My students are quite conservative, and they honestly do not believe that he is a satirist."

That is excellent.

"So, keep the 'out of character' links coming, since I'll be putting them on my class website."

You could have a lot of fun with this. I'd string 'em along for a while.
posted by krinklyfig at 12:03 PM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Colbert is risking severe over-exposure with his new book out, but my man-crush on him shall remain strong no matter what. I think he's brilliant.
posted by bardic at 12:08 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

my man-crush on him shall remain strong no matter what

I believe the kids call it a "bro-mance".
posted by GuyZero at 12:09 PM on October 15, 2007 [5 favorites has favorites]

Um. Why is it bad for an artist to want people to see/purchase his art again?
posted by tkchrist at 12:16 PM on October 15, 2007

Many of you are missing another satirical point, and getting your feathers ruffled about it: The book hawking is yet another (convenient) satirical jab at everyone ELSE hawking their books.

Come on people.
posted by Espoo2 at 12:39 PM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

He couldn't do something a little more meaty with this opportunity, like he did with the press club dinner?

I was under the impression most of that material was recycled from the show as well. Not to say it wasn't meaty, but the meatiness was a matter of context.
posted by anazgnos at 12:55 PM on October 15, 2007

There was plenty of meat, but it was all bologna.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:11 PM on October 15, 2007

That interview with Charlie Rose is fantastic, other than Rose's complete inability to STFU and let the other person talk.
posted by papercake at 1:58 PM on October 15, 2007

Cute piece. Meh.
I still think he really needs to put it out there in the wind. I mean say really provocative stuff (ala Coulter e.g. perfecting the Jews) and completely deny it afterward. Stuff like that. Really raise some hell. Get some mad stuff out there like he’s hooked on some prescription medication and makes 3 am phone calls to thai ladyboy hookers. Address it on the show. Get confrontational. Create a world of yourself. Tell people to shut up (although he had that going with David Cross).
The problem is he’s less devoted to satire than he is ... something else. Not sure what that is. Too cerebral maybe? Too self-aware? Perhaps he’s more in earnest in his politics than he is in social commentary? He seems like a fairly decent individual who doesn’t want to cause any harm, which could also be it.
I can’t say he doesn’t have balls, just needs maybe a touch more bad-ass. He’s got the high status thing down cold. He hasn’t really gotten into the crazy stupid. He’s just playing. Might be fun for insiders, but it’s not 100% out here in the bleachers.
Not that he isn’t amusing or worthwhile. But the difference between very good and the greatest can sometimes be just an inch.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:57 PM on October 15, 2007

I think he's brilliant, but I enjoyed his work on The Daily Show much more (*moment of silence for This Week In God*). His Report persona grates on me after about 5 minutes of the show - it's just too close to the real thing.

That said, his Correspondents Dinner performance was one for the ages and the most spectacular media critique I've ever had the privilege of seeing. I hope he sticks around for a long, long time.
posted by longdaysjourney at 3:01 PM on October 15, 2007

I'm a proud member of the Colbert Nation, but honestly this op-ed was... meh. However, this:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

Almost made gave me a hernia from laughing so far.
posted by jacobian at 3:15 PM on October 15, 2007

grrr... laughing so hard.
posted by jacobian at 3:15 PM on October 15, 2007

The problem is he’s less devoted to satire than he is ... something else.

I think he's more dedicated to the comedy and performance aspects than he is trying to grind axes or prove a point. He's mentioned in other interviews how he wasn't very political before joining the Daily Show.

As it is, I know people who still think he's too obnoxious (or grating, as longdaysjourney puts it). I don't think amping that up would get him more ratings or hockey mascots.
posted by Gary at 3:17 PM on October 15, 2007

I know people who still think he's too obnoxious (or grating, as longdaysjourney puts it). I don't think amping that up would get him more ratings or hockey mascots.

I'm not looking for a shift in personality so much as revelations of personality. Exposing Colbert as a scrip addict sheds light on more of who he is and how he has acted in the past, just like with all those prominent elected and religious officials. It's exciting to think about those lengths in satire, Smedlyman, then again that's his real name attached to the character and I can see maybe why he wouldn't want to go that direction. Especially with all those classes that LobsterMitten doesn't teach—the ones that won't get an education in satire.
posted by carsonb at 4:51 PM on October 15, 2007

“He's mentioned in other interviews how he wasn't very political before joining the Daily Show.”

Yeah. I’m just saying he could be Great - great. And he doesn’t have to be political at all really. In fact I’d like to see the opposite. Amping up the obnoxiousness would work (in character narrative) because he’d be satirizing the media culture, not grinding an axe. More depth I guess is what I’m saying.
I use pro-wrasslin’ for reference. It’s what BlowReilly (et.al) does. It’d be the same but more over the top mockery of them. Probably not expressing this well. I’m thinking the blurred sort of Andy Kaufman line where you don’t know if he’s for real.
Probably too late for a real handle on that since he’s out as a satirist, but maybe not.
And yeah, I’m asking him to go way out, but y’know, A. I’m not his boss, so he doesn’t have to listen to me, and B. LobsterMitten’s students will buy up merchandise like anyone else. That they might do it in earnest makes it all sweeter.
But yeah, might not get him better ratings and it might end his shelf life - still, BlowRielly (et.al) are still out there.
I’d like to see someone put a real boot into the system and maybe get media to change, even if it costs a bit.
Hell, I’d do it, but I’m nowhere near as talented as Colbert. There’s no way I’d get a t.v. show.
(My balls are writing checks my talent can’t cash).
posted by Smedleyman at 5:12 PM on October 15, 2007

Well that settles it: I'm definitely voting for Kucinich.
posted by homunculus at 8:51 PM on October 15, 2007

I can't wait to fuck that monkey's brains out.

Wait.. Wrong thread?
posted by Balisong at 9:35 PM on October 15, 2007

Right thread.
posted by baphomet at 10:18 PM on October 15, 2007

Dowd made a big mistake handing her column over to Stephen Colbert because it reminds her readers how much funnier he is than she is. Though I think it was a big over the top to make fun of "all the lies" published in the Times (unless of course he was referring to Judy Miller).
posted by richards1052 at 1:05 AM on October 16, 2007

“Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”

When I heard that on his show I actually snorted some of my drink.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 2:43 AM on October 16, 2007