claphappy

November 26, 2007 9:58 AM

Kent French is the world's fastest clapper.
posted by Armitage Shanks (57 comments total)

Cool, but the title says 721 Claps Per Second when it's really 721 Claps Per Minute... 12 CPS
posted by zeoslap at 10:01 AM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

*claps*
posted by ranchocalamari at 10:04 AM on November 26, 2007

No, thank you Armitage Shanks!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 10:04 AM on November 26, 2007

Fake. This is actually two of the world's fastest hi-fiving midgets.
posted by justkevin at 10:07 AM on November 26, 2007 [10 favorites]

I bet if he had The Clapper^TM hooked up to a lamp it would look like a strobe light.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:08 AM on November 26, 2007 [3 favorites]

What is the sound of one blur clapping?
posted by DU at 10:08 AM on November 26, 2007

He's actually working with research scientists at the Chia Pet and Clapper factory on a strobe light. It's pretty cool technology.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2007

It's like tabla without tabla.
posted by Bugbread at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2007

/claps in mr_crash_davis' direction
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2007

I watched it carefully but it was mainly a blur I think there was only one time I could actually catch the clap
posted by criticalbill at 10:12 AM on November 26, 2007

Hook this guy up with Bobby Badfingers, and then you've got something!
posted by JeffK at 10:14 AM on November 26, 2007

Yeah I think it's suss that you can't see his actual elbows - I say automated clapping machine.

or what justkevin said
posted by gomichild at 10:15 AM on November 26, 2007

That sounded like a riding lawnmower without a muffler.
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:15 AM on November 26, 2007

Goes like the clappers.
posted by Abiezer at 10:18 AM on November 26, 2007

Impressive - but that reciprocating motion isn't exactly "clapping" in the usual sense of the word, is it?
posted by raygirvan at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2007

He's really got the clap. Don't shake hands with him.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2007

Kent also makes children quickly.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:22 AM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

He should go to pro golf tournaments just to mess with the players' heads.
posted by ardgedee at 10:24 AM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you squint it kind of looks like he's getting slapped 12 times per second.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:35 AM on November 26, 2007

Either he's got more than one set of multiples there or his kids don't age very fast.
posted by DU at 10:41 AM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Is thee an olympic event for such things?
posted by Postroad at 10:42 AM on November 26, 2007

(slow clap)
posted by hal9k at 10:42 AM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

*Clap*
posted by digiFramph at 10:45 AM on November 26, 2007

Kent also makes children quickly.

Is thee an olympic event for such things?

I would totally watch Olympic baby-making.
posted by arcticwoman at 10:48 AM on November 26, 2007 [5 favorites]

I see Ricky Gervais in the lead role for the bio-pic.
posted by JBennett at 10:48 AM on November 26, 2007

Is thee an olympic event for such things?
The clapping or the procreation?
posted by exogenous at 10:50 AM on November 26, 2007

See 'The Groove Tube"
posted by sfts2 at 10:58 AM on November 26, 2007

I would totally watch Olympic baby-making.

The training is more fun than the actual event.
posted by LordSludge at 11:14 AM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Needs a "golfclap" tag.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:18 AM on November 26, 2007

A superhero is born. This guy totally needs his own comic book.

Especially with his background as a military Russian linguist. He would be the U.S. response to a bio-engineered Soviet super-clapper, the culmination of the inevitable Cold War clapping hands race.
posted by XMLicious at 11:24 AM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

A superhero is born.

I'm thinking Ovation-Man; capable of delivering a brutal round of applause all by himself.
posted by quin at 11:35 AM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

This is stupid. This is an excellent post.
posted by Mister_A at 11:44 AM on November 26, 2007

Olé!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:56 AM on November 26, 2007

I would totally watch Olympic baby-making.

Watching baby-making is how you discover how fast you can clap in the first place.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:13 PM on November 26, 2007

if he really got his 15 minutes of fame, that would be 10815 claps.
posted by muppetboy at 12:13 PM on November 26, 2007

What is the sound of one jackass clapping?
posted by ORthey at 12:17 PM on November 26, 2007

Forget the Olympic babymaking... I wanna see him in a Clap Down with Jim Bob Duggar. And on the sidelines, maybe the wives and children can all slap fight eachother. Wheee!
posted by miss lynnster at 12:37 PM on November 26, 2007

Wow, I wonder if all that ....ah, ...... beating .... ever makes his skin raw?
posted by R. Mutt at 12:37 PM on November 26, 2007

BTW, missing the clapclapclapclap, the clapclapclapclapclap, and the clapclapclapclapclapclap tag.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:40 PM on November 26, 2007

I'm sure there's a joke to be made involving him, The Clapper, and epilepsy, but I can't seem to get it right.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:45 PM on November 26, 2007

Surely Magic Johnson did more clapping than he's ever done.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:13 PM on November 26, 2007

I bet he could use the hell out of these.
posted by Mr_Zero at 1:14 PM on November 26, 2007

I would totally watch Olympic baby-making.


A double-twist on the dismount earns one a perfect score.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:14 PM on November 26, 2007

If he told a story, say of the 1066 invasion, it could be the Bayeux Clapestry
posted by criticalbill at 1:31 PM on November 26, 2007

That face is way too close to an "O face".
posted by autodidact at 1:32 PM on November 26, 2007

My thoughts exactly, autodidact.
posted by spilon at 1:50 PM on November 26, 2007

Heh those are pretty damn funny tags miss L.
posted by Mister_A at 1:57 PM on November 26, 2007

Everyone loves Barbados Kent - the only man to win Olympic gold in both limbo and sex.
posted by mce at 1:57 PM on November 26, 2007

He looks pretty clap happy.
posted by papercake at 2:04 PM on November 26, 2007

I'm glad the live studio audience from the Cosby Show is keeping busy after it went off the air.
posted by Stan Chin at 2:09 PM on November 26, 2007

clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
Mrs. French: Kent?
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
Mrs. French: Kent?
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
Mrs. French: *knock knock* What are you doing in there, Kent?
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
Mrs. French: Kent, your father and I are worried you’re going to hurt yourself.
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
Mrs. French: Kent, you’re scaring the dog.
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapHOWL!clapclapclapclapclap


So, when he claps ironically, is it at normal speed?
posted by Smedleyman at 3:24 PM on November 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

It's even more impressive watching it backwards. Man that guy can palc!
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:24 PM on November 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

This guy needs to be introduced to grindcore.
posted by The Straightener at 3:57 PM on November 26, 2007

.... Lol.
I'd file this under 'way too much fucking time' if I weren't so impressed by it. But maybe I'm just a geek. A percussion-loving geek. He could be his own band! *gasp*
posted by Phire at 7:30 PM on November 26, 2007

when he gets up to full speed, it looks like he is quite openly masturbating, while somebody else is waving a pink blur in front of the camera.
posted by tehloki at 11:33 PM on November 26, 2007

Someone please connect this guy to a turbine or something -- we could get some electricity out what otherwise is a complete waste of energy.

(and so was typing this message.)
posted by NewBornHippy at 6:25 AM on November 27, 2007

But seriously, as I said, is it "clapping"? The action involves hitting the hands together, but it's entirely different from what we'd ordinarily call clapping. Seems to me like someone claiming the prize for "smacking your lips together fastest" by blowing a raspberry, or the prize for "spitting most copiously" by vomiting.
posted by raygirvan at 3:56 PM on November 27, 2007