Not that Big Box Armor you're used to.

December 7, 2007 10:55 AM

"Your dog will need to be a pitbull shaped dog around 65 lbs or Ill need your dog here in person to get the right fit." Armor with a personal touch. A full suit of armor for $610! And you your pitbull shaped dog can even match. Oh, and in case you share a hobby with the janitor from Scrubs, you can get this as well.

They should hire this guy to do Prince Caspian, if that's the next Narnia movie they're making.

posted by PhatLobley (33 comments total)

But, can he build Tarkus for me for $610?
posted by ericb at 11:01 AM on December 7, 2007

I see your squirel armor and raise you cat and mouse armor
(Previously)
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 11:03 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Does it come in Atlanta Falcons team colors? Can I get # 7
posted by dersins at 11:06 AM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

?
posted by dersins at 11:08 AM on December 7, 2007

GERBIL ARMOR COMING SOON

This is actually pretty awesome though.
posted by GuyZero at 11:09 AM on December 7, 2007

That poor, poor, puppy. He looks like an armadillo, only less dignified. The earholes in the headpiece, especially, are killing me.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 11:15 AM on December 7, 2007

Why do I think he's not really kidding about the gerbil armor?
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:16 AM on December 7, 2007

My desire to snark is at odds with my respect for this guy's craftsmanship.
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 11:16 AM on December 7, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

I think the dog armor is kinda nifty, actually.
posted by sotonohito at 11:20 AM on December 7, 2007

Yeah, that's neat. Wish I could work metal like that.
posted by vorfeed at 11:22 AM on December 7, 2007

Just in time for Christmas!
posted by timeistight at 11:25 AM on December 7, 2007

Just the thing to protect him from frantic parents whehn he sinks his teeth into toddlers at the park.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2007

I wonder if he makes armor for bears too.

Weirdly cool.
posted by canine epigram at 11:38 AM on December 7, 2007

When my dad started having serious health problems, he decided to fulfill some life-long materialistic dreams: to get a Rolex, and to get a full-size, wearable suit of armor. When Dad died, my brother got the Rolex; as soon as my mom is willing to give it up, the armor is mine. I think it’s a fair deal.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:41 AM on December 7, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

The armor for ladies (please only really funny boob jokes, thx) looks incredibly uncomfortable. Wouldn't your boobs be all squished, or..?
posted by thehmsbeagle at 11:46 AM on December 7, 2007

Now, if he had little horned viking hats in vallhund sizes...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:02 PM on December 7, 2007

Your dog wants steel.
posted by homunculus at 12:21 PM on December 7, 2007

This could come in handy if your dog is going to fight a monkey with a stick.
posted by homunculus at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2007

PowerThirst: It'll make you feel like you're wearing ARMOR made for a PITBULL. ARMOR for a PITBULL. A PITBULL.
posted by The Bellman at 12:33 PM on December 7, 2007

Dogs you cannot trust. Owners you cannot trust. This, this you can trust.
posted by khaibit at 12:42 PM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

The armor for ladies (please only really funny boob jokes, thx) looks incredibly uncomfortable. Wouldn't your boobs be all squished, or..?

I assume he builds them from measurements, so at least they should fit. That said, the top and bottom ones (without the metal tits) are the ones that look the most comfortable to me. They probably fit like a sports bra, which is to say, somewhat squished/uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the your-boobs-are-forever-SEPARATE-BUT-EQUAL-now! look of the Deluxe one.
posted by vorfeed at 12:52 PM on December 7, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Y'know, I'm thinkin' some pitbulls are given very reasonable incentive to want to attack the people who own them. If not the heavy armor, then just the fact that the guy goes around shirtless saying things like "Welcome to the gunshow..."
posted by miss lynnster at 1:04 PM on December 7, 2007

Given the way my dog sulks when I put fleece booties on her ("It's December and you're half Chihuahua - fucking deal with it!"), I image this must be pure canine hell.
posted by bonecrusher at 1:04 PM on December 7, 2007

Is you're half-chihuahua also named bonecrusher? Because that would be, you know, awesome.
posted by The Bellman at 1:07 PM on December 7, 2007

No, no, no.... Not you're, your. I HATE idiots who make that mistake. Like me.
posted by The Bellman at 1:07 PM on December 7, 2007

[skeptical]: Magic helmet.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:19 PM on December 7, 2007

bonecrusher writes "Given the way my dog sulks when I put fleece booties on her ('It's December and you're half Chihuahua - fucking deal with it!'), I image this must be pure canine hell."

Just look at this picture.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:36 PM on December 7, 2007

My dog doesn't wear armor, she is a Berserker. And like a furry, guided-missile, she will without fail, manage to nail you in the crotch when she leaps into your lap.

The mere thought of adding mass to this painful experience makes me wince.
posted by quin at 3:49 PM on December 7, 2007

I have to admit, it just looks so much better than those silly sweaters people put on dogs.
posted by clevershark at 4:48 PM on December 7, 2007

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. Painful mental place.

I have a Boxer. She greets friends the same way the 1976 Flyers greeted their opponents. The last thing she needs is to be pointy while she does it.
posted by cmyk at 8:34 PM on December 7, 2007

Awesome, it looks just like the warhound in Conan the Barbarian that eats Young Conan's dad!
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 9:22 PM on December 7, 2007

I'm sure wearing this would get you laughed out of the jousting tourney
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:21 AM on December 8, 2007

I dig the craftsmanship. I also enjoyed the web 1.0'ness of Gallery 2.

"uh, here are some pics of my ride..."
posted by craven_morhead at 8:45 AM on December 8, 2007