Bonnie and Clyde my ass...
December 11, 2007 10:14 AM Subscribe
"This story would be nothing without the photos"
Regina Medina and Jill Porter just appeared on Radio Times this afternoon, and I was struck by their intrest in the mass psychology of it all.
Regina Medina and Jill Porter just appeared on Radio Times this afternoon, and I was struck by their intrest in the mass psychology of it all.
I like think of myself as reasonably abreast of current events, but I had no idea who these people were. Severe TV deficiency or just obliviousness?
posted by DU at 10:32 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by DU at 10:32 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
It's tabloid news DU, don't feel bad.
posted by butterstick at 10:36 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by butterstick at 10:36 AM on December 11, 2007
It's pretty much nothing with them, too.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:37 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by Dave Faris at 10:37 AM on December 11, 2007
Is there a better-written article anywhere about these two? I'm intrigued...
posted by Lillitatiana at 10:41 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Lillitatiana at 10:41 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
abreast of current events
Is that like "a murder of crows" or "a parliament of owls"?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:43 AM on December 11, 2007 [13 favorites]
Is that like "a murder of crows" or "a parliament of owls"?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:43 AM on December 11, 2007 [13 favorites]
Tabloid is right if these people are somehow comparable to Bonnie & Clyde.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:46 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by Brocktoon at 10:46 AM on December 11, 2007
non-tabloid version of the story here
Sorry, that probably shoulda been in the FPP.
posted by butterstick at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007
Sorry, that probably shoulda been in the FPP.
posted by butterstick at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007
Is that like "a murder of crows" or "a parliament of owls"?
A buxom of molls.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
A buxom of molls.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
Beautiful people commit serious crime? Oh, how charming! Do you think they'll get their own TV show? Or maybe an apology tour? Maybe at their press conference outside the courtroom where they are acquitted (because beautiful people don't go to jail, silly) they'll tell how how they just want to get on with their lives.
And maybe from a rooftop 1500 yards away a sniper will do us all a favor.
If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.
If she wasn't hot, or at least, many men's definition of hot, who would care?
Well, this being a Philadelphia story, if they were overweight ethnic minorities, they would have merited a 60 second story on the local news and would already be doing hard time. So I guess no one would care except the DA who disappears them.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:09 AM on December 11, 2007
And maybe from a rooftop 1500 yards away a sniper will do us all a favor.
If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.
If she wasn't hot, or at least, many men's definition of hot, who would care?
Well, this being a Philadelphia story, if they were overweight ethnic minorities, they would have merited a 60 second story on the local news and would already be doing hard time. So I guess no one would care except the DA who disappears them.
posted by Pastabagel at 11:09 AM on December 11, 2007
stupidsexyFlanders writes "Is that like 'a murder of crows' or 'a parliament of owls'?"
A business of ferrets.
posted by mullingitover at 11:10 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A business of ferrets.
posted by mullingitover at 11:10 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Pastabagel: If they weren't so called beautiful people then you wouldn't loathe them so much...
posted by zeoslap at 11:18 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by zeoslap at 11:18 AM on December 11, 2007
Um, Pastabagel? Your issues are showing.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:19 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Bookhouse at 11:19 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A foetor of Cthulhu.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:20 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:20 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Sounds like someone still hasn't escaped from the locker he was stuffed into in high school.
posted by DU at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by DU at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2007
A Snark of Mefites.
posted by Rumple at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007 [7 favorites]
posted by Rumple at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007 [7 favorites]
Beautiful people commit serious crime?
Eh, I'd FPP it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007
Eh, I'd FPP it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:24 AM on December 11, 2007
Interesting, I'd say that the story is still nothing with the pictures.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:30 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Pollomacho at 11:30 AM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
I don't get it.
Is it that I'm old, or that junior criminals make off with tens of thousands of dollars over the course of a year just doesn't sound that impressive?
She's cute, absolutely, but I've always noticed the crazies be they sex-crazy or money-crazy, or lie-about-everything crazy or what-ever pathology rows their boat, the crazies always give off a funny smell. Sometimes it takes ten minutes to notice, sometimes two, sometimes it takes hours to start wafting around, but inevitably, as soon as it does, it gets to be overwhelming and soon you just can't cover the smell.
If you asked their neighbors I bet two thirds would say, confidentially, that there was something - off - about them. That I would be into reading.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:41 AM on December 11, 2007
Is it that I'm old, or that junior criminals make off with tens of thousands of dollars over the course of a year just doesn't sound that impressive?
She's cute, absolutely, but I've always noticed the crazies be they sex-crazy or money-crazy, or lie-about-everything crazy or what-ever pathology rows their boat, the crazies always give off a funny smell. Sometimes it takes ten minutes to notice, sometimes two, sometimes it takes hours to start wafting around, but inevitably, as soon as it does, it gets to be overwhelming and soon you just can't cover the smell.
If you asked their neighbors I bet two thirds would say, confidentially, that there was something - off - about them. That I would be into reading.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:41 AM on December 11, 2007
I thought tabloids only covered people like Liz Taylor and Nostradomus. What tabloid talks about common criminals?
posted by zebra3 at 11:42 AM on December 11, 2007
posted by zebra3 at 11:42 AM on December 11, 2007
There's something "off" about everybody, unless you sit right in the middle of the fucking Gaussian, in which case you're incredibly boring.
posted by snoktruix at 12:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by snoktruix at 12:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
I loved this:
"My parents were asking her questions," said the former friend. Jocelyn told them she spoke 10 different languages and began to name them, Turkish, Czech, Lithuanian, Romanian, Russian, Arabic, when the friend interrupted.
The Arabic-language student asked doubtfully, "Arabic, really?"
"Arabic," Jocelyn said with certainty, the former friend recalled.
"Then, it clicked in her head that I spoke Arabic. She quickly changed and said 'I mean I speak Africaan,'" the classmate said. "If she spoke Arabic, she clearly would have told me beforehand."
posted by languagehat at 12:10 PM on December 11, 2007
"My parents were asking her questions," said the former friend. Jocelyn told them she spoke 10 different languages and began to name them, Turkish, Czech, Lithuanian, Romanian, Russian, Arabic, when the friend interrupted.
The Arabic-language student asked doubtfully, "Arabic, really?"
"Arabic," Jocelyn said with certainty, the former friend recalled.
"Then, it clicked in her head that I spoke Arabic. She quickly changed and said 'I mean I speak Africaan,'" the classmate said. "If she spoke Arabic, she clearly would have told me beforehand."
posted by languagehat at 12:10 PM on December 11, 2007
From artc: “If she wasn't hot, or at least, many men's definition of hot, who would care?”
I don’t care now.
“Here are two good-looking people who came from good schools and money," Tony says, "and they're running around stealing from their friends”
As opposed to what? Good looks, education and money is supposed to engender some ability to reason morally?
I’ve found it’s typically the opposite.
“Is that like 'a murder of crows' or 'a parliament of owls'?”
A suite of Chets.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007
I don’t care now.
“Here are two good-looking people who came from good schools and money," Tony says, "and they're running around stealing from their friends”
As opposed to what? Good looks, education and money is supposed to engender some ability to reason morally?
I’ve found it’s typically the opposite.
“Is that like 'a murder of crows' or 'a parliament of owls'?”
A suite of Chets.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007
Since people normally covered by tabloids started being common criminals.
Once that line got blurred - well, why not find common criminals who have star potential? Not like we draw a distinction between famous and infamous anymore.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007
Once that line got blurred - well, why not find common criminals who have star potential? Not like we draw a distinction between famous and infamous anymore.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:11 PM on December 11, 2007
Jeez, Bonnie Parker was short. Guess I've got Faye Dunaway burned on my brain right above her name.
posted by lodurr at 12:12 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by lodurr at 12:12 PM on December 11, 2007
Good looks, education and money is supposed to engender some ability to reason morally?
I think the point is that with all those advantages they could have made equal money in some legit fashion. People generally consider stealing to buy hair-extensions much worse than stealing to feed a starving child.
posted by betaray at 12:28 PM on December 11, 2007
I think the point is that with all those advantages they could have made equal money in some legit fashion. People generally consider stealing to buy hair-extensions much worse than stealing to feed a starving child.
posted by betaray at 12:28 PM on December 11, 2007
They look really happy.
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:54 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:54 PM on December 11, 2007
A murder of clowns. A murder of babies. I just about won't pluralize anything unless I can do it with murder.
posted by hermitosis at 1:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by hermitosis at 1:04 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
tidings of magpies
ostentation of peacocks
plump of wildfowl
unkindness of ravens
covey of pheasants (on the ground)
nide of pheasants (on the ground)
nye of pheasants (on the ground)
bouquet of pheasants (when flushed)
...
posted by willie11 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
ostentation of peacocks
plump of wildfowl
unkindness of ravens
covey of pheasants (on the ground)
nide of pheasants (on the ground)
nye of pheasants (on the ground)
bouquet of pheasants (when flushed)
...
posted by willie11 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.
You need professional help. You are no better than these people. In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.
posted by wfc123 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007
You need professional help. You are no better than these people. In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.
posted by wfc123 at 1:13 PM on December 11, 2007
Guess I've got Faye Dunaway burned on my brain right above her name.
And ultimately, don't we all prefer it that way? Hence the interest in this case because they're pretty people. For all pastabagel's melodrama (and I'm frequently guilty of that so I sympathize) he's right that if they were overweight minorities, they'd already be doing time and nobody would care.
I'd also posit that they wouldn't have gotten away with it for so long. These people fit the lifestyle they were stealing. If they didn't, I'm guessing people would have noticed a lot sooner that they seemed to be living a larger life than you'd expect, that they didn't fit somehow.
posted by Naberius at 1:14 PM on December 11, 2007
And ultimately, don't we all prefer it that way? Hence the interest in this case because they're pretty people. For all pastabagel's melodrama (and I'm frequently guilty of that so I sympathize) he's right that if they were overweight minorities, they'd already be doing time and nobody would care.
I'd also posit that they wouldn't have gotten away with it for so long. These people fit the lifestyle they were stealing. If they didn't, I'm guessing people would have noticed a lot sooner that they seemed to be living a larger life than you'd expect, that they didn't fit somehow.
posted by Naberius at 1:14 PM on December 11, 2007
a cackle of goths
posted by djseafood at 1:15 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by djseafood at 1:15 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A cabinet of thieves.
posted by lostburner at 1:19 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by lostburner at 1:19 PM on December 11, 2007
A deviate of threadjackers.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:30 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:30 PM on December 11, 2007
a moleskine of hipsters
posted by ozomatli at 1:31 PM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by ozomatli at 1:31 PM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
An embarrassement of Richards.
posted by neuron at 1:34 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by neuron at 1:34 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A bullshit of students
posted by Green With You at 1:41 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Green With You at 1:41 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A number of identity thieves.
posted by OmieWise at 1:46 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by OmieWise at 1:46 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
wfc123: You need professional help. You are no better than these people. In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.
What part of writing on the internet versus stealing real people's real money do you not understand?
posted by OmieWise at 1:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
What part of writing on the internet versus stealing real people's real money do you not understand?
posted by OmieWise at 1:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
willie11 writes "unkindness of ravens"
I have always depended on the kindness of ravens.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:50 PM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
I have always depended on the kindness of ravens.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:50 PM on December 11, 2007 [4 favorites]
Pastabagel: Beautiful people commit serious crime? Oh, how charming! Do you think they'll get their own TV show?
I think you missed the point. This story is famous and popular because they're good-looking, yes; because the rest of us love it that good-looking people got arrested. Nobody but nobody is pretending that they actually admire beautiful people; our jealousy is a heck of a lot stronger than our admiration will ever be. The sheer popularity of this story is almost exclusively due to shadenfreude.
And I can't say I'm not culpable of it too. I'm like everybody else; I'm happy to see these fresh-faced fucks go down.
posted by koeselitz at 1:52 PM on December 11, 2007
I think you missed the point. This story is famous and popular because they're good-looking, yes; because the rest of us love it that good-looking people got arrested. Nobody but nobody is pretending that they actually admire beautiful people; our jealousy is a heck of a lot stronger than our admiration will ever be. The sheer popularity of this story is almost exclusively due to shadenfreude.
And I can't say I'm not culpable of it too. I'm like everybody else; I'm happy to see these fresh-faced fucks go down.
posted by koeselitz at 1:52 PM on December 11, 2007
I have literally being waiting since 2001 for the word "tony" to be used this way in an AP news caption.
posted by phaedon at 2:24 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by phaedon at 2:24 PM on December 11, 2007
willie11 wrote: bouquet of pheasants (when flushed)
This will be handy when calling the plumber.
posted by ooga_booga at 2:27 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
This will be handy when calling the plumber.
posted by ooga_booga at 2:27 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
A masturbation of rhinocerous.
She has got dirty feet.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:31 PM on December 11, 2007
She has got dirty feet.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:31 PM on December 11, 2007
I'm not sure that I understand this game!
posted by Kwine at 3:28 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Kwine at 3:28 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
This story is famous and popular because they're good-looking
Really? I think the guy is butt-ugly. He looks like a grown-up Afred E Neuman.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:39 PM on December 11, 2007
Really? I think the guy is butt-ugly. He looks like a grown-up Afred E Neuman.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:39 PM on December 11, 2007
wfc123: In fact, I would wager these two people are much nicer than you are.
Sure. It's a lot easier to pick someone's pocket when you're being nice to them.
posted by lodurr at 3:50 PM on December 11, 2007
Sure. It's a lot easier to pick someone's pocket when you're being nice to them.
posted by lodurr at 3:50 PM on December 11, 2007
Aren't most of those exotic collective nouns (a parliament of owls, etc) just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology?
posted by Rumple at 4:19 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by Rumple at 4:19 PM on December 11, 2007
Pastabagel: And maybe from a rooftop 1500 yards away a sniper will do us all a favor. If these beautiful people had stolen my identity, hell if they had broken into my apartment to eat a Godiva chocolate, I would have used them to make a combined sequel to Se7en and Saw. I'm thinking they could both use a Liquid Plumbr exfoliation.
See, I didn't see that part of your comment. Good god, that's some gruesome shit.
Flagged as offensive. Also, your taste in movies sucks. Wishing that kind of shit on anybody is fucking stupid, friend.
posted by koeselitz at 4:22 PM on December 11, 2007
See, I didn't see that part of your comment. Good god, that's some gruesome shit.
Flagged as offensive. Also, your taste in movies sucks. Wishing that kind of shit on anybody is fucking stupid, friend.
posted by koeselitz at 4:22 PM on December 11, 2007
an affectation of dubious etymologies
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:36 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:36 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]
Aren't most of those exotic collective nouns (a parliament of owls, etc) just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology?
Yes.
posted by languagehat at 4:59 PM on December 11, 2007
Yes.
posted by languagehat at 4:59 PM on December 11, 2007
Thanks sugarfish. Is that a legitimate book, or does it recycle a bunch of folk etymology? In other words, does it amount to a Hill of Beans?
posted by Rumple at 5:00 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by Rumple at 5:00 PM on December 11, 2007
I have no idea. I just think it's strange that James "Inside the Actors Studio" Lipton is also an expert on collective nouns.
posted by sugarfish at 5:03 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by sugarfish at 5:03 PM on December 11, 2007
a fixie of hipsters is how I know it
posted by andifsohow at 5:10 PM on December 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by andifsohow at 5:10 PM on December 11, 2007 [2 favorites]
A helpfulness of sugarfish!
posted by Rumple at 5:12 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Rumple at 5:12 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Just bullshit made-up affectations of dubious etymology.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 5:43 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by YoBananaBoy at 5:43 PM on December 11, 2007
A Wunch of Bankers.
posted by lekvar at 5:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by lekvar at 5:47 PM on December 11, 2007 [3 favorites]
a fixie of hipsters
Holy shit, I'm in awe of your genius. That's the best one, hands down.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:20 PM on December 11, 2007
Holy shit, I'm in awe of your genius. That's the best one, hands down.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:20 PM on December 11, 2007
I don't know, mine's pretty clever, I just think folks don't get it. I might start a MetaTalk thread out of pique.
posted by OmieWise at 6:29 PM on December 11, 2007
posted by OmieWise at 6:29 PM on December 11, 2007
OmieWise: "I don't know, mine's pretty clever, I just think folks don't get it. I might start a MetaTalk thread out of pique."
I've found in reading metatalk that pique is implied, even required.
posted by aerotive at 8:56 PM on December 11, 2007
I've found in reading metatalk that pique is implied, even required.
posted by aerotive at 8:56 PM on December 11, 2007
a plate of beans.
posted by rtha at 9:53 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 9:53 PM on December 11, 2007 [1 favorite]
Bonnie and Clyde? Please. How does pulling a couple of low-rent ID theft acts against people you know count as being Bonnie and Clyde? Those two rampaged through banks guns blazing. These two sat at computers.
Americans are really getting lazy or something if these two are supposed to be as impressive as those two. You think in 70 years people are going to remember these two?
posted by delmoi at 2:34 AM on December 12, 2007
Americans are really getting lazy or something if these two are supposed to be as impressive as those two. You think in 70 years people are going to remember these two?
posted by delmoi at 2:34 AM on December 12, 2007
In 70 years people aren't going to remember anything more than five minutes in the past.
posted by languagehat at 7:15 AM on December 12, 2007
posted by languagehat at 7:15 AM on December 12, 2007
The photos make crime look fun!
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:05 AM on December 12, 2007
posted by Mental Wimp at 10:05 AM on December 12, 2007
A whine of posters.
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2007
posted by never used baby shoes at 10:27 AM on December 12, 2007
I'm going to derail this thread, just because it already sucks anyway.
In 2004, a guy called Homer (yeah, that's his real name) stole my identity. I was in Spain at the time.
He went through my mail and stole one of those credit card 'cheques' - he made it out to himself (for some fictitious roofing work) and forged my signature. He went down to a small local bank, and they cashed it ($5000).
Homer wasn't especially bright. He gave them his driving license (which they photocopied)... my dad noticed a policeman's card on my door and called me. When I got back, I got talked to the cops... who arrested Homer. He'd done the same thing to several other people in the interim and he eventually got in serious trouble for it (he's inside now).
He's still sending me cheques.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:32 AM on December 13, 2007 [1 favorite]
In 2004, a guy called Homer (yeah, that's his real name) stole my identity. I was in Spain at the time.
He went through my mail and stole one of those credit card 'cheques' - he made it out to himself (for some fictitious roofing work) and forged my signature. He went down to a small local bank, and they cashed it ($5000).
Homer wasn't especially bright. He gave them his driving license (which they photocopied)... my dad noticed a policeman's card on my door and called me. When I got back, I got talked to the cops... who arrested Homer. He'd done the same thing to several other people in the interim and he eventually got in serious trouble for it (he's inside now).
He's still sending me cheques.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:32 AM on December 13, 2007 [1 favorite]
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posted by wendell at 10:23 AM on December 11, 2007