That story may be untrue. I don't care. posted by Astro Zombie at 3:10 PM on December 19, 2007
I fucking HOPE that story is untrue - sick. posted by tristeza at 3:15 PM on December 19, 2007
That guy sounds like my mate Kev. posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 3:16 PM on December 19, 2007
That story is crazy. posted by absalom at 3:17 PM on December 19, 2007
Decent story I 'spose.
But I kind of miss the days when "good writer" or "good storyteller" wasn't so inevitably synonymous with a link to another long-winded sub-Palukniak maybe-shocking-to-grandmas-in-Iowa-but-just-tiresome-and-implausible-to-the-rest-of-us anecdote. posted by drjimmy11 at 3:18 PM on December 19, 2007
There is an individual I know who runs an MMA school in Boston who has been stumping to defend, and represent in hand to hand combat, the human race against what he perceives to be an animal fighting mega threat. Wisely no one has risen to provide him with opponents.
Yes. He is mentally unwell to say the least. posted by tkchrist at 3:19 PM on December 19, 2007
There is an individual I know who runs an MMA school in Boston who has been stumping to defend, and represent in hand to hand combat, the human race against what he perceives to be an animal fighting mega threat. Wisely no one has risen to provide him with opponents.
St. James Davis took the brunt of the attack, the ferocity of which left paramedics stunned. ''I had no idea a chimpanzee was capable of doing that to a human," said Kern County Fire Captain Curt Merrell, who was on the scene.
Davis, who remained in critical condition Friday, was badly disfigured. According to his wife, he lost all the fingers from both hands, an eye, part of his nose, cheek and lips, and part of his buttocks [and testicles -- Ed.]. His foot was mutilated and his heel bone was cracked.
LaDonna, 61, said she was sitting at a table with her husband, getting ready to cut the chimp's birthday cake, when she saw the two other chimps out of the corner of her eye. Moe, according to other accounts, was still in his cage. posted by panamax at 3:28 PM on December 19, 2007
What, a guy's not allowed to post an anecdote on his LiveJournal page?
I used to really love Shephard's fiction, back when I read a lot of science fiction. It sort of skirted the boundaries of sci-fi and horror writing. He has a very disturbing short story about a post-apocalyptic society plagued by superintelligent pederast apes which stuck with me for a long time after I read it. It's cool to see he's got a blog (along with Elizabeth Hand who was another of my favorite authors back then). posted by whir at 3:37 PM on December 19, 2007
Yeah, I'd be surprised if a human could survive very long in a real fight against a chimp, unless the chimp were specially trained not to kill people. Because obviously they're going to bite the shit out of you. posted by delmoi at 3:48 PM on December 19, 2007
Guys touring with fighting monkeys used to be to little towns with big ass rednecks what three card monte is to New York City. posted by Huplescat at 3:52 PM on December 19, 2007
Chimps often attack humans, but thankfully, they don't always use their full force. I saw footage recently of a rather unwise keeper who set foot on a small island in the enclosure of a bunch of rather aggressive chimps. He was attacked, but thankfully his injuries only amounted to mangled broken fingers and other rends and gouges. He didn't lose an eye like that other poor guy at the zoo or whatever. Then again, he jumped to safety into the water before the little fuckers could disembowel him.
Chimps are certainly mean motherfuckers and incredibly strong, but they don't always whip out a 100% chimprage can of whupass each and every time they take on a hume. The story in the FPP may not be true, but is not implausible.
I've no doubt chimps have killed humans under some circumstances in the past. posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 3:57 PM on December 19, 2007
But I kind of miss the days when "good writer" or "good storyteller" wasn't so inevitably synonymous with a link to another long-winded sub-Palukniak maybe-shocking-to-grandmas-in-Iowa-but-just-tiresome-and-implausible-to-the-rest-of-us anecdote.
In fairness, Lucius Shepard was an award-winning novelist back when Chuck Palahniuk was just a wee little nihilist. posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:58 PM on December 19, 2007
That monkey was taking it easy on the guy. As the Straight Dope is saying, they are immensely powerful, and can throw the biggest of men around like dogs fling those stuffed toys.
You remember Every Which Way But Loose, where Clint says, "Clyde, scrap the Caddy," and Clyde immediately tears a door off? That's real. posted by Malor at 4:55 PM on December 19, 2007
Guys touring with fighting monkeys used to be to little towns with big ass rednecks what three card monte is to New York City.
summary for those too lazy to click: either the story is false, or there's a bar in laredo with two chimps behind glass that no one but this storyteller has ever mentioned on the internets. posted by Hat Maui at 5:58 PM on December 19, 2007
I remember reading Lucius' fiction in the 80's in IASFM and F&SF. Good to see he managed to keep doing it. posted by localroger at 6:19 PM on December 19, 2007
Hat Maui is on to something. Someone needs to call Alex Jones so he can get involved. posted by Huplescat at 6:57 PM on December 19, 2007
"Read now," replied Dupin, "this passage from Cuvier." It was a minute anatomical and generally descriptive account of the large fulvous Ourang-Outang of the East Indian Islands. The gigantic stature, the prodigious strength and activity, the wild ferocity, and the imitative propensities of these mammalia are sufficiently well known to all. I understood the full horrors of the murder at once. posted by BT at 7:34 PM on December 19, 2007
Someone needs to call Alex Jones so he can get involved.
yeah, that, or maybe get james frey on the horn with this jaw-dropping setpiece around which he could base his next novel, this is totally true shit but my publisher won't let me call it a memoir. posted by Hat Maui at 10:11 PM on December 19, 2007
I used to really love Shephard's fiction, back when I read a lot of science fiction. It sort of skirted the boundaries of sci-fi and horror writing.
Amen to that. When Shepard started doing SF, he showed just how bad a lot of the writing in the genre was. (I'd particularly recommend "Life During Wartime", a hallucinogenic 'Heart of Darkness' set in a US incursion into Central America, and "The Scalehunter's Beautiful Daughter", a short story collection.)
Tragically, bad writing seems to be no barrier to winning major SF book awards. posted by outlier at 1:48 AM on December 20, 2007
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:10 PM on December 19, 2007