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"After looking at this pad, Hugh Hefner is a square"
January 25, 2008 12:45 PM   Subscribe


 
Some of these sites are annoyingly flash-ridden. Sorry about that, but it is Friday...
posted by dersins at 12:46 PM on January 25, 2008


Back when I worked at the House of Blues (a million years ago), one night I was goofing around and leaning on the host's stand talking to my coworkers. Something soft kept bumping into my head. Finally I turned around to figure out what the Hell it was.

It was Wilt Chamberlain's ass.

(No, I didn't catch any diseases.)
posted by miss lynnster at 12:49 PM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm not used to reading a wikipedia article with this many blunders.

he was born on januaryt 16,1894 school kids that good, I figured I wasn't going to make it to the pros

and

Cherry He was a bysexual and was married to 20 differant men and women.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:56 PM on January 25, 2008


"Something soft kept bumping into my head. Finally I turned around to figure out what the Hell it was.

It was Wilt Chamberlain's ass."


Wilt was listed at 7'1" - 7'2" for most of his career, but my dad insists he was at least 7'6", based on the fact that the one time my dad (who's 6'3") got to meet him after a game and shake his hand. Dad says his hand just disappeared into Wilt's giant mitt, and said he was "about chest-high" to Wilt.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:07 PM on January 25, 2008


Wilt Chamberlain's Searcher 1.
posted by Floydd at 1:12 PM on January 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


Floydd, you have blown my mind, and I thank you for it.
posted by saladin at 1:22 PM on January 25, 2008


...Cocksman, huh?
posted by dismas at 1:23 PM on January 25, 2008


dances: Once again, major vandalism crisis on Wikipedia averted. Thank God -- there could have been a school paper written or something!

Due to the pictures ban here, I couldn't put in a flashing siren. Sorry about that. I hope you'll manage.
posted by dhartung at 1:26 PM on January 25, 2008


I remember seeing this featured on Wide World of Sports or something when I was a kid. I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. The indoor pool!

later I saw bob Costas talking about touring the house once, and they came to the bedroom, and there was a sign on the door that said -- "The Do It Room." Bob asked what that meant, and said that Wilt just looked at him like he was the dumbest person who had ever lived.
posted by post punk at 1:30 PM on January 25, 2008


...Cocksman, huh?

Got a better word for it?
posted by dersins at 1:39 PM on January 25, 2008


slut.
posted by exlotuseater at 1:42 PM on January 25, 2008


I don't know exactly how tall he was, but I'm like 5'7" and I was leaning over the stand, bent at the waist at maybe a 70° angle or something. My head was probably about 4' or so from the ground. And it was met by his ass. So... the guy was giant.

A side note, his sexual proclivities had just reached the news not long before and I have NEVER seen women flee from the sight of a celebrity the way they did that night with him. He was like a reversed magnet. It seemed like women were terrified that shaking his hand would lead to an STD or a baby or something.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:43 PM on January 25, 2008


1968- I was a bellman at the Fountainblu Hotel in Miami, the republican convention was headquartered in the hotel, I was working midnights.

Late one night we got a room service call, it was a huge load of liquor to the room that Ralph Abernathy had. When the leaders of the "poor people's march" had checked into one of the better rooms of the hotel, we had been given strict instructions to be polite (African Americans in the best hotel on the beach was not a usual occurrence, I guess they thought we would do something rude..?).

I was elected to take the room service order up...

I walked into the room with 6 or 7 bottles of nice hootch, even then probably a $200 order in that hotel, set it down, and did the usual stand-there-waiting-for-a-tip-thing. The five or six men in the room (including Wilt Chamberlain) looked at this skinny 19 year old white kid with puzzled looks. Finally someone said "the boy is waiting for a tip."... at which point Wilt pulled a quarter out of his pocket, put it in my hand, gave me a smile, and showed me the door.

I still believe that a little bit of that repressed anger against white folks was dispersed in that event.
posted by HuronBob at 2:05 PM on January 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


When I think of Wilt Chamberlain, I think back to my elementary school days in Kokomo, Indiana, where we had a series of math books in which each chapter ended with a couple of story problems. Every story problem seemed to have something to do with either BART or Wilt Chamberlain and his basket-making abilities; this being before Wilt was generally known for his other skills.

No problem that I can remember combined Wilt and BART, although that would have completely ruled.
posted by the dief at 2:12 PM on January 25, 2008


Kids in Kokomo had to do math problems about the SF Bay Area Rapid Transit?
posted by miss lynnster at 3:25 PM on January 25, 2008


The magnificence of that house is just about equally matched by the suckitude of that site.

And now it finally makes sense. Who couldn't nail 20,000 women with that swinging bachelor pad?
Me
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:03 PM on January 25, 2008


My "Do It" room doesn't even have a door, it has a metal turn style so I can keep an exact count.
posted by Tube at 5:26 PM on January 25, 2008


"No problem that I can remember combined Wilt and BART, although that would have completely ruled.

...

Kids in Kokomo had to do math problems about the SF Bay Area Rapid Transit?"


I'm guessing "Best Available Retrofit Technology".
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:29 PM on January 25, 2008


The house is - or at least was - owned by James Brooks, the Simpsons producer. John Hodgman went to a party there once, and he told me that his favorite part of the tour of the house was when they got to the Brooks' master bedroom and James told John that when they moved in they floored over the 12 PERSON SOLID GOLD JACUZZI IN THE BEDROOM.

You read that right.
posted by tristeza at 5:54 PM on January 25, 2008


i've had the pleasure of playing pickup beach volleyball against the wilt-man, yes, he was awesome.

i remember the discussion when the "20,000 women" claim came out, and a funny article from the day which concluded that wilt couldn't possibly have had 20,000 women, but that gene simmons of kiss may very well have.
posted by bruce at 6:45 PM on January 25, 2008


I will always remember Wilt Chamberlain as Bombaata.

(Crom!)
posted by a young man in spats at 7:55 AM on January 26, 2008


gene simmons of kiss may very well have

And I have to say... to me, Gene Simmons is just a walking petri dish of ick. After observing him on The Apprentice, just from that I had an overwhelming urge to take a really long hot shower that would never make me feel clean enough. Ewwww ewwww ewwwwwwwwwwww. I just couldn't stop picturing how incredibly grossed out he would make me in person. He just looked at every woman like they were meat. It was kinda the same chill I got up my spine when Jeff Goldblum ran his hand up my back upon meeting me years ago. Gaaahhhhh!

Wilt seemed like a cool guy though. I actually didn't get a gross vibe from him at all.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:51 PM on January 27, 2008


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