Negotiation stories

February 27, 2008 4:30 PM

Do you have a good negotiating story? Tell us about it. 37signals asks for, and gets, some interesting stories.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (20 comments total)

"Come with me if you want to live."
posted by The Card Cheat at 4:35 PM on February 27, 2008 [3 favorites]

I wonder what it's like to be married to Don Schneck:


Don Schenck 27 Feb 08

Remember: The first one to mention a number loses.

When I was dating, I told my girlfriend that if we got married, I’d divorce her if she got fat.

She agreed. Thirty years next November.

I WIN !
posted by KokuRyu at 4:42 PM on February 27, 2008

I just broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 2-years this morning. In fact, the drama is still going on as we speak. The house is under my name only, so that won’t be an issue. But, I was able to negotiate her leaving me the Dyson vacuum cleaner ($400) and the oak pool table ($2000); both items she paid for. Now, the hardest part, will be negotiating on when she moves out of the house.

Yeah like the woman you just broke up with is going to dick around over her right to remove a half-ton pool table from the house you want to kick her out of. I am reminded form possibly the only good quote from True Lies "She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer! What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"
posted by jessamyn at 4:45 PM on February 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

Everyone wants a win-win outcome.

WRONG! As Gore Vidal put it, it's not enough that he should win, others must lose.

Childish, of course, but plenty common.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:03 PM on February 27, 2008

Don Schneck is probably being led around by his wife and doesn't realize it yet.

Jess-- Considering that he still has to negotiate when she moves out, he hasn't won anything yet. She's probably just letting him feel good before closing in for the kill
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:19 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm not very impressed by most of these stories.
posted by pombe at 5:22 PM on February 27, 2008

Agreed. Didn't somebody get a deleted post reinstated on the blue the other day? That's gotta be a more impressive achievement.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:37 PM on February 27, 2008

I just broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 2-years this morning. In fact, the drama is still going on as we speak. The house is under my name only, so that won’t be an issue. But, I was able to negotiate her leaving me the Dyson vacuum cleaner ($400) and the oak pool table ($2000); both items she paid for. Now, the hardest part, will be negotiating on when she moves out of the house.

She got the better deal
posted by mattoxic at 5:39 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

As a man once sang:

She took everything she wanted
Which is why she left me here
With the pots and pans and my old wedding suit

Yeah, value judgments are very subjective. But then again, that fact is at the core of negotiation.
posted by Jakey at 5:52 PM on February 27, 2008

Considering that he still has to negotiate when she moves out, he hasn't won anything yet. With winners like this, who needs losers? Transactional relationships are pretty much doomed from the start.
posted by KokuRyu at 6:27 PM on February 27, 2008

...and later that week, Matt was seen out at dinner with Dyson. How lovely Dyson looked in it's shiny yellow and black plastic and new dust filter.

However Matt wasn't as happy as one may have expected. It was true that now Dyson would always his and his alone, and never losing suction, it could have at least offered to pay for the wine...
posted by mattoxic at 6:48 PM on February 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

I was able to negotiate her leaving me the Dyson vacuum cleaner ($400) and the oak pool table ($2000); both items she paid for. Now, the hardest part, will be negotiating on when she moves out of the house.

You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.

I'm somewhat shy and non-confrontational, so I'm not a natural at "bare-knuckled negotiation" and attempts to psyche-out the other side. Instead, I just go for this time-honored negotiation technique: find out exactly how much something is worth and refuse to ever pay more than that amount of money.
posted by deanc at 7:07 PM on February 27, 2008

but "exactly how much something is worth" is a subjective measurement...
posted by TheJoven at 7:44 PM on February 27, 2008

I'm not very impressed by most of these stories.

Neither am I really. There's thousands of articles out there on how to negotiate.
posted by !Jim at 9:07 PM on February 27, 2008

Be willing to walk away is probably the best negotiating advice. Unfortunately, it's also hard to fake. You really have to be at a point when you just don't give a shit any more... very much like the Swingers conundrum:

Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:17 PM on February 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?

Second prize is a set of steak knives.

Third prize is you're fired.
posted by mosch at 10:50 PM on February 27, 2008

The leads are weak, mosch.

Some of the negotiators in those stories need a glassin'. Any woman who breaks up with a guy whose first thought is what she bought and how can he keep it is way better off.
posted by maxwelton at 10:56 PM on February 27, 2008

I was expecting some curvy advice on negotiating six figure deals. I got some cad guffawing about how he beat his ex-wife out of a pool table.
posted by mrmojoflying at 4:47 AM on February 28, 2008

Some people who are expert negotiators seem to overlook the time investment. If you can save $200 on a car in a 10-minute negotiation, great! If it takes you four hours to save $200, you ought to start asking yourself how much your time is worth and if you're really "saving" anything.

Or, it's possible that's just how I rationalize being a bad negotiator to myself. OTOH, if you do some research in advance you can often get a good deal without negotiation.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:02 AM on February 28, 2008

Yes I was hoping for more too. Those stories were pretty weak. At the moment I'm in a business class on negotiating, and there were some good points mentioned in the thread, but a few broad principles missing. Everyone seemed to think that you're trying to screw them because they're trying to screw you - if you think of it as something that can be mutually beneficial, you can reduce a lot of anxiety. Also think in advance about your "best alternative" to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) - then you know what you're "walking away" for or to. My professor made a good point last week too though that getting a price just above or just below the BATNA (depending on your perspective as seller/buyer) isn't necessarily good enough if there can be additional value created in the negotiation. Buying a car is tougher, but many negotiations have multiple factors and if you can give a little in one area and get a little in another, you could "make the pie bigger" and both be happier with the outcome. I'll stop using "quote marks" now.
posted by pithy comment at 11:55 AM on February 28, 2008