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Wings of Desire... or something
February 29, 2008 2:45 PM   Subscribe

Erotic Falconry
posted by loquacious (66 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
Lovely.
posted by R. Mutt at 2:47 PM on February 29, 2008


Beautiful plumage
posted by mrnutty at 2:48 PM on February 29, 2008


My first expectation was a falcon perched on a penis, but when the picture came it was somewhat disappointing.
posted by farishta at 2:49 PM on February 29, 2008


Epic. But how about a big NSFW on the front page?
posted by dontoine at 2:49 PM on February 29, 2008


Normally I have to have two windows open in order to masturbate. Problem solved. Thanks Loq!
posted by kosem at 2:50 PM on February 29, 2008 [21 favorites]


Does what it says on the box. A+
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 2:51 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


I loved it! Much better than LOLcats!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 2:56 PM on February 29, 2008


Epic. But how about a big NSFW on the front page?

I knew someone was going to bitch about this.

How about people actually using their brains when reading the words "Erotic Falconry" before clicking on it while at work, instead? (It's in the tags, anyway.)

How much clearer does it need to be that it might not be safe for work, what, with the word "Erotic*" in there and all? What, are you expecting TPS reports and PDFs?

*Even if it's not, y'know, really erotic. Unless you like falcons, I suppose.
posted by loquacious at 2:56 PM on February 29, 2008 [6 favorites]


Well, if you scroll through the pictures far enough, you definitely get to some nudity of one stripe or another. But from the about page:

If we can moisten a few more panties or instigate a couple more boners we can get the raptor-love movement to really take flight. (Pun gloriously intended.) These are OUR images. These are OUR feelings. This is OUR moment.

Huh... there really is something for everyone. Great (odd) post.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 2:59 PM on February 29, 2008


That early bird can get my worm anytime!
posted by aftermarketradio at 2:59 PM on February 29, 2008


These two words do not go together.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:03 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]


That early bird can get my worm anytime!

I don't think you've quite thought this through properly.
posted by loquacious at 3:03 PM on February 29, 2008 [6 favorites]


Where's the chainmail?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:08 PM on February 29, 2008


This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:10 PM on February 29, 2008


The Poem by William Butler Yeats:



The Second Coming



Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all convictions, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.



Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all around it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
posted by Postroad at 3:17 PM on February 29, 2008 [6 favorites]


I double-spaced my English class poems to make them fill the required 2 pages, too.
posted by Nelson at 3:21 PM on February 29, 2008 [3 favorites]


Margin adjustments are much more effective.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 3:22 PM on February 29, 2008


I've hung out with falcons. I wouldn't really consider them erotic.

Bitey, yes. Pinchy? Yep that too. But not really... oh wait. Now I get it.

Never mind.
posted by quin at 3:24 PM on February 29, 2008


Okay, no.

I like naked ladies. And I like falcons, and raptors in general - I mean, every year from August to December, I spend at least 80 hours standing on a hill identifying and counting raptors as they migrate.

But this? No. Also, the photoshopping is really yucky.
posted by rtha at 3:24 PM on February 29, 2008


Oh - and you really really don't want peregrine talons near any of your sensitive bits. You just don't.
posted by rtha at 3:24 PM on February 29, 2008


Huh. Well, I like raptors a whole lot, and am also very fond of naked girls. Or even semi-naked girls. But this does nothing for me. At all. And my picky brain keeps saying "that's totally photoshopped. And THAT is not a falcon!"

Still, interesting find. Makes me wonder what the search terms are that gets one to a site like that.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:27 PM on February 29, 2008


Ohhhh! Donald!
posted by pepcorn at 3:29 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]


I only made it through a few pictures, but really, shitty photoshopping and close-ups of lady body parts? Were there the slightest description of the site I wouldn't have bothered clicking.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 3:34 PM on February 29, 2008


Makes me wonder what the search terms are that gets one to a site like that.

I think ..... John, Falconry, McCain, Erotic, .... might do it.
posted by R. Mutt at 3:37 PM on February 29, 2008


The shot of the guy choking his chickenfalcon in the shower made me LOL, but that even a bird fetishist could find any of this genuinely arousing is hard to comprehend.
posted by bunnytricks at 3:43 PM on February 29, 2008


Were there the slightest description of the site I wouldn't have bothered clicking.

Totally. I read "Erotic Falconry" and thought it might have been another recipe for bacon cups or some more rants on the Democratic primaries.

Imagine my surprise.

Imagine my surprise also when they were Photoshopped! Unbelievable! I really thought I'd be looking at some genuine human on falcon action!

Man. This new internet thing is rad!
posted by eyeballkid at 4:01 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

>>The shot of the guy choking his chickenfalcon in the shower made me LOL, but that even a bird fetishist could find any of this genuinely arousing is hard to comprehend.

I just...okay, I just want to make sure here, but...we do, all of us, understand that this site is simply and incredibly obviously a put-on...right?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:06 PM on February 29, 2008


I found it hilarious. In a good way.
posted by Roach at 4:08 PM on February 29, 2008


I just...okay, I just want to make sure here, but...we do, all of us, understand that this site is simply and incredibly obviously a put-on...right?

Well, this is the internet. You'd think that the Otakukin community and site after site of badly drawn furry porn were both elaborate practical jokes, but people earnestly masturbate to and/or base their identities around each so who the fuck knows?
posted by bunnytricks at 4:24 PM on February 29, 2008


I would bet 20 bucks that this is some kind of viral experiment, a la cryingwhileeating.com. Bah, I say.
posted by pocams at 4:25 PM on February 29, 2008


Rule 34?
posted by kcds at 4:27 PM on February 29, 2008


"The data transfer limit has been exceeded due to high traffic."

That's a shame.
posted by krinklyfig at 4:37 PM on February 29, 2008


I had never considered this. I've contemplated the fact that there are people who have fetishes for imaginary beings, dragons and aliens for instance, that are sadly impossible to fulfill.

The idea that there are people who have fetishes which, if they were indulged, would leave them scratched to ribbons and probably dead is somehow even sadder.

The corollary to this thought is, of course, that somewhere out there in the wilds of the internet lurks grizzly bear porn. I just hope that it's badly photoshopped, too.
posted by MrVisible at 4:58 PM on February 29, 2008


dead
posted by peacay at 5:04 PM on February 29, 2008


Yeah, I went out with a peregrine falcon once. It wasn't exactly erotic, though, and I'm still missing some snippets of ear.

Well, ok, maybe a bit erotic.
posted by Sparx at 5:04 PM on February 29, 2008


Ahh. Already noted I see.
posted by peacay at 5:05 PM on February 29, 2008



"Totally. I read "Erotic Falconry" and thought it might have been another recipe for bacon cups or some more rants on the Democratic primaries.

Imagine my surprise.

Imagine my surprise also when they were Photoshopped! Unbelievable! I really thought I'd be looking at some genuine human on falcon action!

Man. This new internet thing is rad!"


Imagine my surprise when I found a one link post with no description to be disappointing!

Maybe there is something brilliant lurking at the end of it, but like I said, I gave up after a few pictures because there was nothing about them that made me curious to see more.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 5:42 PM on February 29, 2008


I'm getting "page temporarily unavailable" and from the comments here....I'm getting some freaky mental images.
I'm thinking it's not 16th century courtesan paintings though, right?
posted by batgrlHG at 5:48 PM on February 29, 2008


Imagine my surprise when I found a one link post with no description to be disappointing

How is "erotic falcnonry" not a description of what you would find at that site?
posted by dersins at 5:49 PM on February 29, 2008


Page is dead. Aww.
posted by klangklangston at 6:03 PM on February 29, 2008


Hopefully this Coral Cache link will grab and cache the site soonish.
posted by loquacious at 6:09 PM on February 29, 2008


Erotic Falconry

Because "Poor Photoshops with Raptors," while generally more accurate, would not be nearly as likely to attract clicks. Those of you who missed it: don't worry. It wasn't bad enough to be good.
posted by nanojath at 6:23 PM on February 29, 2008


I very nearly posted this earlier, but I just couldn't bear the thought of it being my first post.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:44 PM on February 29, 2008 [5 favorites]


...aaaaaaand it's toast.
posted by zardoz at 7:55 PM on February 29, 2008


Coral Cache is dead too. And I wanted to see some erotic falconry! I think.
posted by LeeJay at 8:24 PM on February 29, 2008


Birds of a feather fuck together.
posted by False Dichotomy at 8:52 PM on February 29, 2008


Birds of a feather fuck together

But is one in hand still better than two in the bush?
posted by carsonb at 9:40 PM on February 29, 2008


In addition to falcons, there were great tits and boobies on that site.

I'll be here all week, folks.
posted by rtha at 11:44 PM on February 29, 2008


Thank you so much for this.
posted by crunch buttsteak at 1:00 AM on March 1, 2008


Page is dead. Aww.

It got better. But you all want that falcon only for its body.
posted by ersatz at 4:08 AM on March 1, 2008


Wow. Loquacious, I'm still trying to figure out if you're the reason I hate the internet or love it.

Ah hell, I just decided. Come to NY and I'll buy you a drink anytime.
posted by Football Bat at 4:46 AM on March 1, 2008


you really really don't want peregrine talons near any of your sensitive bits

Sure. On the other hand, they give great wing jobs.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:24 AM on March 1, 2008


Okay, I admit it. The one of a guy with a falcon stuffed in his underpants made me LOL.
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:07 AM on March 1, 2008


Oh Internet, will your wonders never cease?
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:24 AM on March 1, 2008


I knew someone was going to bitch about this.

How about people actually using their brains when reading the words "Erotic Falconry" before clicking on it while at work, instead? (It's in the tags, anyway.)


I wasn't bitching, really, just thinking an nsfw in the blue might be a good idea. Is it not pro forma for this sort of thing?
posted by dontoine at 12:19 PM on March 1, 2008


It's pro forma for links like this [NSFW] that aren't inherently descriptive of what lives behind them.

On topic, when I first got to this link it was dead (and I was at work, heh) so I got to use my imagination to bring Erotic Falconry to life. I've seen it now, and was disappointed. If it had been pictures of otherwise naked people on grassy hillsides wearing big leather gloves with birds soaring in the background, I woulda wanked to it. Still, neat idea.
posted by carsonb at 12:28 PM on March 1, 2008


there's some sort of limerick forming in my head but OH MY EYES
posted by fourcheesemac at 1:02 PM on March 1, 2008


Also, I wanted to see the *birds* having sex, thanks.
posted by fourcheesemac at 1:03 PM on March 1, 2008


This site is utterly uncreative and crap. How difficult is it to paste odd out-of-place images into other images with Photoshop? I find these uninspiring, novice, and just stupid. I'm not once to rant against any "art", original or not, but this just made me angry about its awful mediocrity. I think I'll start a lemurs and boobies website now, with ringtones and social network.
posted by asfuller at 2:53 PM on March 1, 2008


Could you drop me a email when that's live? Thanks.
posted by chrismear at 3:31 PM on March 1, 2008


Lemuria rises again.
posted by False Dichotomy at 4:30 PM on March 1, 2008


Someone must have invoked Rule #34. I prefer http://wetriffs.com.
posted by SevenPercentSolution at 8:54 PM on March 1, 2008


What about a website about women with lemurs instead of boobs and when they lactate bees shoot out of the lemurs?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:14 PM on March 1, 2008


OOOOOOmg my yarak has finally been sated. The page is live, for the moment.

I'm impressed that they managed to overshoot oohlalaland and crash so heavily in roffleville. Falconry is damned erotic, says I, or at least the terminology is.

Tiercel bated for the ringing, beautiful and ramage falcon, but the leather jesses around his legs kept him him tight to his falconer's fist. He was deep in yarak, consumed by the ancient and crystalline urge to pump his sails high to pitch, and to sink his pounces into her glimmering mail, trussing her until she came to for him, in his cast for all time.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:43 AM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]


The site would be much better without the birds. Maybe if they just put shots of that hawt blonde. Yeah, yeah, that would be better.
posted by sfts2 at 4:52 AM on March 2, 2008


...And now that I can actually see the site again...reading the comments here is much more entertaining than viewing anything there.
posted by batgrlHG at 1:04 PM on March 2, 2008


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