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March 15, 2008 1:22 AM   Subscribe

Cat + Airplane + Parachute [video]
posted by blue_beetle (59 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
DO NOT WAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnt
posted by louche mustachio at 1:29 AM on March 15, 2008 [17 favorites]


I wonder if the cat pulled the cord or just batted at it ...
posted by o0o0o at 1:42 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


If I were that cat, I'd sooo scratch out the eyes of the owner.....
posted by pjern at 1:46 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Whatever. Dogs were jumping out of airplanes before it was cool. And they did it to fight Nazis! Cats never fought Nazis. Quite the opposite, in fact...
posted by Rhaomi at 1:52 AM on March 15, 2008 [7 favorites]


The potential for the cat being injured on landing (by the old asshole falling face down on it or something) should have outweighed any other consideration. That we are told they both made it is probably more down to dumb luck than anything else. If the old man is found dead in bed with his face clawed off I would not be surprised.
posted by essexjan at 1:55 AM on March 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


I saw this a few days ago and during the conversation someone mentioned that this guy apparently has made a bunch of jumps with his cat.

He's teaching it to skydive(???) and is going to build a small cat parachute for it.

I guess this is part of the training... or something...
posted by Lord_Pall at 1:57 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


...and what would we say if this were a human baby?

How is this any different than the cat version of Michael Jacksonian baby dangling?!
posted by markkraft at 2:02 AM on March 15, 2008


The cat has a parachute.
posted by Lord_Pall at 2:03 AM on March 15, 2008 [8 favorites]


Jesus. I've been sitting here for ten minutes with the most amazing joke material (this post), and I just can't come up with anything original. Some failures:

- In soviet russia, cat jumps out of you!
- I CAN HAS TANDEMBURGER?
- Step 1: Jump out of plane with cat. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!
- Something about cats landing on their feet. But: funny.
posted by ORthey at 2:34 AM on March 15, 2008 [5 favorites]


This is all part of his training to be a MiG pilot. When he's done, he'll be able to catfight with American F-14s. Then, the fighter escort eliminated, he'll take our birds by surprise, coming down out of the sun at an angle they'll never expect.
posted by agentofselection at 3:25 AM on March 15, 2008


I hope that cat craps in the middle of his bed.
posted by Jacqueline at 3:51 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


The video's kind of a letdown, isn't it? I was expecting some kind of humorous mishap.
posted by hjo3 at 3:57 AM on March 15, 2008


How is this any different than the cat version of Michael Jacksonian baby dangling?!

It is not michael jackson.
It is not a baby or even a baby cat.
It is not on a balcony.
It is skydiving not dangling.
The cat is strapped to him.

So other than everything I would say you are bang on.
posted by srboisvert at 4:02 AM on March 15, 2008 [7 favorites]


I think that guy is an asshole.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:13 AM on March 15, 2008 [10 favorites]


"I hope that cat craps in the middle of his bed."

If you look closesly, you'll see the cat's bowels let loose just as his brain-dead idiot torturer/owner steps off the edge of the airplane door. The cat is obviously, and literally scared shitless.

This is just plain cruel, and anyone who thinks it's fun or exciting for the cat, has their head up their ass. This guy should be cite for animal cruelty, though they probably don't have such a thing in Russia.
posted by GreyFoxVT at 5:36 AM on March 15, 2008 [5 favorites]


I didn't really think this was much of an arguable issue. Does the cat WANT to jump out of the airplane? Is, in fact, the cat FIGHTING to avoid being thrown out of an airplane? Was the cat required to actually be STRAPPED TO A PERSON to facilitate making it fall out of an airplane?

The answer to all these questions sort of makes clear whether or not this is animal cruelty.

Jesus Christ, does this prick just think the "cats always land on their feet" thing work as effectively as Newton's laws of physics? Because the latter sort of has precedence here. My cat broke it's leg trying to jump from a twelve-foot-high ceiling beam; do you have any idea what the recoil impact to a small animal from a parachute release or touchdown would do? Did this stupid fuck? He might as well have taken a newborn baby and shaken it up and down a few times.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:55 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


I don't think parachuting is going to hurt the poor thing; just terrify it.
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:37 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think the cat should force this guy to come along for a day's worth of crawling under other peoples' porches, shitting in sandboxes and eating raw mice.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:43 AM on March 15, 2008 [3 favorites]


PETA militarism aside, I think it was pretty funny. Besides, the cat probably got a kick out of it.
posted by norabarnacl3 at 6:46 AM on March 15, 2008


I feel terrible for the cat. You wouldn't assume a human wants to jump out of a plane and strap them to you, so I don't know why the hell someone would think it's cool to put their cat through a terrifying experience. And if anyone thinks it's plausible the cat enjoyed it, that's a ridiculous assumption since, unlike humans, the cat couldn't have understood the safety measures involved -- which still doesn't diminish the horror for people who don't decide to go jumping out of planes, or the fact that the safety measures don't always work. The poor thing probably thought they were going to die. And if there had been some sort of safety mishap, the cat could have died by no fault of its own.

If someone wants to jump out of a plane, good for them. But anyone who would drag another living creature into a situation like that is a real asshole.
posted by Nattie at 6:50 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is part of continuing KGB research. Poison umbrella -> radioactive martini -> hysterical cat dropped on you from 5000 feet. Comrade, they'll never see it coming!

Maybe it's just the Toxoplasmosis speaking, but this guy's a jerkoff.

hj03: I don't know if there are too many mishaps in skydiving that are humourous rather than, say, fatal, so I'm happy with the clip's lack of incident...
posted by sixswitch at 7:10 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Guy's an asshole, no doubt. He shouldn't make his cat jump out of an airplane. But look at its little legs just before he jumps and tell me that's not funny.
posted by sveskemus at 7:17 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


If you look closesly, you'll see the cat's bowels let loose just as his brain-dead idiot torturer/owner steps off the edge of the airplane door.

no, i think that's a leather strap or something flapping around - i do agree the cat is plainly terrified and puzzled that his owner is doing such an insane and awful thing
posted by pyramid termite at 7:30 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


"I don't think parachuting is going to hurt the poor thing; just terrify it."

you're kidding, of course, did you see the wind whip the cats legs around when they stepped out....

Cat's weren't designed to go over 100 miles per hour....
posted by HuronBob at 7:47 AM on March 15, 2008


No goggles for kitty.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:18 AM on March 15, 2008


Cat's weren't designed to go over 100 miles per hour....

That's what the paw-sized trashbags are for.
posted by phaedon at 8:20 AM on March 15, 2008


I don't think parachuting is going to hurt the poor thing; just terrify it.

Parachuting the cat while holding it is probably the most fatal and dangerous thing he could do. The recoil force of a parachute release at human terminal velocity is equivalent to suddenly hitting a brick wall at about 120 MPH. The harnesses in parachute rigs are carefully designed as a restraint mechanism to prevent, most commonly, your limbs snapping from the force of that happening. This is what can happen to a 170-lb. human being. The average cat weighs about 8-10 pounds and has a terminal velocity of 60 mph. In addition, they instinctively flex their bodies in flight to increase drag and thus soften their natural landing ability to protect their, in reality, rather fragile bodies.

This one is strapped to a human falling at terminal velocity. The cat isn't experiencing G-forces of its own mass; it's suffering G-forces from a mass fifteen times its own body weight at a terminal velocity twice that of the maximum achievable by its own body. You don't need a whole episode of Mythbusters (and I doubt they'd touch this one) to understand how Kitty could be dead before Dipshit McToomuchfreetime even touched the ground. It's the difference between driving a baby around carefully strapped into a car seat versus duct taping it to the hood of the car.

This was a torturous, selfish, and horrible thing to do. Yes, it was funny when the little legs flailed about. It's little legs would flail about like that if you poured gasoline all over it and then set it on fire too. Awwwwwwwww.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:25 AM on March 15, 2008 [16 favorites]


louche mustachio: "DO NOT WAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnt"

It's mostly : MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
posted by zouhair at 8:28 AM on March 15, 2008


I see a future where cats learn to fly and take over the world. And this cat will be known as Agent Zero.
posted by phaedon at 8:35 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's funny because the cat is terrified.


Not.
posted by darkstar at 8:46 AM on March 15, 2008 [3 favorites]


They used to burn cats alive in France, for public entertainment. This, while different, isn't different enough. What an embarrassing, tragic species I belong to.
posted by everichon at 9:17 AM on March 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


Bad.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:18 AM on March 15, 2008 [3 favorites]


This is worse than that cat-washing machine that was posted a while ago. That cat is clearly not at all amused.


And that guy is nuts even jumping at all with that ancient military surplus chute. At first glance I thought he had a duffle bag strapped to his back. It looks like a damn laundry sack.
posted by loquacious at 9:23 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


Good Lord you people are wound up tight.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:32 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


At least they didn't give the cat LSD first.
posted by emelenjr at 9:34 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seems like we've had this thread before. Someone does something stupid that terrifies a cat. Some mefites think it's abusive of the animal. Some mefites think it's funny and the former group of mefites are too sensitive. Eh.
posted by darkstar at 9:40 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, that's fucked. At least he didn't make the poor thing wear a sweater or something.
posted by brundlefly at 9:54 AM on March 15, 2008


This guy is a fucking asshole. The cat is clearly terrified when he realizes what's about to happen.
posted by desjardins at 10:08 AM on March 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


Image if the cat had been wearing socks. WITH SANDALS!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:17 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Parachuting the cat while holding it is probably the most fatal and dangerous thing he could do. The recoil force of a parachute release at human terminal velocity is equivalent to suddenly hitting a brick wall at about 120 MPH.

I'm not defending the skydiver, but your understanding of physics is incorrect. The force of a parachute is not the same as hitting a brick wall at 120 MPH. That would only the be case if the person hit the ground at 120 MPH. The cat is subjected to no more trauma than the skydiver's own arm or leg or head.

This one is strapped to a human falling at terminal velocity. The cat isn't experiencing G-forces of its own mass; it's suffering G-forces from a mass fifteen times its own body weight at a terminal velocity twice that of the maximum achievable by its own body.

No, but this is what most people thought until Isaac Newton was hit on the head with an apple over 300 years ago. All objects experience the same acceleration due to gravity (G's) because the force of gravity is proportional to the mass. The acceleration (G's') on the person and the cat are identical, both when falling and when stopping. They are attached to each other. By definition they experience the same velocities and accelerations.
posted by JackFlash at 10:23 AM on March 15, 2008 [6 favorites]


I terrify my cat all the time. All it takes is making noise with your feet when she's walking past, and she goes up into the air a foot or so (and is sitting next to me washing a few minutes later). The parachuting cat looked MUCH less terrified than my cat does when you're trying to clip her claws.
posted by Peach at 10:57 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


I tried jumping out of a plane and I recall there was no big SNAP recoil when the parachute opened. I believe it unfolds and inflates in stages over the course of a couple of seconds, which results in a more gradual slowing down than the movies make it seem.

Good Lord you people are wound up tight.

Well, this post *was* supposed to amuse us or something, right? Forcing your cat to participate in your extreme sports hobby is frankly disgusting, not amusing, to anyone who loves cats. So "Good Lord you people love cats?" Speaking for myself, damn straight.
posted by scarabic at 11:00 AM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Every time it rains, it rains LOLcats from heaven..."
posted by moonbird at 11:01 AM on March 15, 2008


I tried jumping out of a plane and I recall there was no big SNAP recoil when the parachute opened.

Really? When I skydived, there was a very abrupt jerk. But this was the *first* chute, the little one that is opened first. There was no jerk when the big one opened.
posted by desjardins at 11:15 AM on March 15, 2008


Did any of you nervous netties ever think that maybe he had to do it to save the cat's life?
posted by hellbient at 11:25 AM on March 15, 2008


i do agree the cat is plainly terrified and puzzled that his owner is doing such an insane and awful thing

OTOH, my cat had the same reaction to being taken in a car to the vet, so it's a pretty low threshhold for a cat.
posted by smackfu at 11:46 AM on March 15, 2008


Parachuting the cat while holding it is probably the most fatal and dangerous thing he could do... The cat isn't experiencing G-forces of its own mass; it's suffering G-forces from a mass fifteen times its own body weight at a terminal velocity twice that of the maximum achievable by its own body.

I can appreciate that you don't condone the activity, but why unload a heap of bad physics on us? These claims don't hold water either in theory or in practice.
posted by Mapes at 12:24 PM on March 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


I think the cat should force this guy to come along for a day's worth of crawling under other peoples' porches, shitting in sandboxes and eating raw mice.

Absolutely: Kitty does NOT want to jump out of an airplane.
posted by jrochest at 12:33 PM on March 15, 2008


The cat looked like he crapped his little cat pants.

That guy is a dick.
posted by dasheekeejones at 12:36 PM on March 15, 2008


Looking @ Leroy, my 20lb monster...He turns into a spinning ball of claws and teeth when I try and put him in a cat carrier to go to the vet. I learned a long time ago to just put him in the car and extract him from under the seat when we get there. No WAY would I try anything like that...
posted by rhythim at 12:38 PM on March 15, 2008


This is just irresponsible to the highest order.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:08 PM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Does the cat WANT to jump out of the airplane? Probably not. Does a cat want to go to the vet? No. Do humans make animals do things they might not want to do for all kinds of reasons, good or bad?

Is, in fact, the cat FIGHTING to avoid being thrown out of an airplane? I don't think so. Just before the jump, though, it seemed like the wind was buffeting the cat. Is taht want you took to be fighting?

Was the cat required to actually be STRAPPED TO A PERSON to facilitate making it fall out of an airplane? No. The cat was required to be strapped to a person in order to use the person's parachute.

I wouldn't do this to a cat myself. Then again, I am not wont to jump out of a perfectly good airplane anyway. But I don't know that even the whole talk of g's and terminal velocity is anything more than handwaiving based on what I read in thread here.

I'm guessing in the end, the cat was pissed but not particularly any worse for wear. You and I can comprehend the terror of being tossed from an airplane; we can picture the splat and all that. The cat? I don't think so.
posted by Doohickie at 2:17 PM on March 15, 2008


Doohickie - terror doesn't require comprehension. And I think the objection to this stems from the fact that the cat is being subjected to this purely for the entertainment of its owner.
posted by ooga_booga at 2:33 PM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


It says the old man loved his cat. He probably gave the cat a great life. We should probably not be so harsh on him for doing this.
posted by ORthey at 2:44 PM on March 15, 2008


You have to admit, the cat does look like he's about to own that skydive in the still shot.
posted by phaedon at 4:10 PM on March 15, 2008


This is like the Marine/puppy video with a Hollywood ending.
posted by dosterm at 5:28 PM on March 15, 2008


I agree with ooga_booga. Plus, a cat clearly has an instinctive understanding of the danger of falling. We have a loft in our apartment, and if I carry the cat too close to the railing so that he can see down (it's about a 15 foot drop) he instantly clings to me. He's voluntarily gone up on the railing on his own, but if he starts to slip he clearly comprehends that he does not want to fall and corrects himself. Note: double-sided sticky tape now keeps Mr. Stupid off the railing.
posted by desjardins at 5:44 PM on March 15, 2008 [3 favorites]


best cat jump ever
posted by robot at 6:00 PM on March 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm of the mind that this skydiving thing is NOT COOL for the kitty and all, but damn - it does kind of make me want one of those harnesses to carry my cat around. Is it specially designed for cats, or is it a repurposed baby carrier?
posted by caution live frogs at 6:22 AM on March 17, 2008


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