the refrigerator convulses and dies with a great shudder, causing several pheasants to take flight

March 26, 2008 8:02 AM

A World Without Me. Not Us. "Wolves roam freely, scavenging for food and drinking out of the toilet. An antelope buries its snout in a half-empty box of Cheerios. A mountain lion knocks over the milk, rendering the entire kitchen and part of the connecting hall uninhabitable for several months."
posted by takeyourmedicine (22 comments total)

I recently saw a "documentary" of sorts on the National Geographic channel that I think was based on Alan Weisman's book. It was a little hyperbolic and narrated in the "end times" breathy style, but it was still pretty cool.

I had never really considered what the implications would be if the grid completely turned off, just from a nuke power plant safety stand, or the release of all the gases like chlorine that have to be kept below freezing. I mean, I guess if I had really thought it through, it would have eventually occurred to me; but I'd never really thought about the entire grid going black. Kinda spooky.

On the upside; poodles get eaten by predators, and I don't see how anyone could think that was a bad thing.
posted by dejah420 at 8:44 AM on March 26, 2008

A world without me? But what will become of the malt liquor industry!?
posted by Someone has just shot your horse! at 8:50 AM on March 26, 2008 [5 favorites]

I got a taste of this when I bought our current home, a fixer upper, and found that the ivy covering the walls had somehow snuck between the lower sash and the sill in the upstairs bathroom window. It was happily making for the sink when I ex-foliated it. Certainly wolves would have soon followed.

Also, the basement in a house I once owned was so damp, that over the course of 2-3 days, a football sized mushroom sprouted out of an old rolled up rug. From zero to football in 50 hours. I think if I'd been standing there watching it the whole time, it would have appeared to be inflating like a balloon.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:53 AM on March 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

A relative of mine found a plant tendril growing up out of the toilet bowl. An excellent basis for a vegetarian horror movie.
posted by DU at 8:56 AM on March 26, 2008

Bears eating monkeys? I'll watch that movie.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:00 AM on March 26, 2008

Bears eating monkeys? I'll watch that movie.

Someone call Werner Herzog.
posted by Someone has just shot your horse! at 9:07 AM on March 26, 2008 [3 favorites]

They must be tiny caribou to fit an entire herd in one apartment.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2008

I don't think the answering machine would still be blinking after 5 years.
posted by absalom at 9:40 AM on March 26, 2008

After three months, animals not usually encountered in urban areas will have ventured into the apartment.

I think he's talking about me. Though when I was stealing his TV and computer, I didn't see any wolves.

Although, I don't remember closing that back door behind me, so I suppose it's possible that's how they got in. If so, sorry 'bout that.
posted by quin at 9:56 AM on March 26, 2008

It was a little hyperbolic and narrated in the "end times" breathy style, but it was still pretty cool.

I hope it was better than the "Life After People" show on the History Channel, which was REALLY breathless. (And I found the premise a little disingenuous. The starting point is people vanishing, poof! without a trace. Therefore, they carefully went through how all the predatory animals would act, without noting the significant effect of billions of dead people. Other factual huh? moments included the description of how buildings would be soooo weakened [insert neato CGI] by vegetation after five years. They then visit Chernobyl, where buildings are a little the worse for wear, but certainly still standing after twenty years.)

Anyway. Rant over. The parody is cute.
posted by desuetude at 10:05 AM on March 26, 2008

Don't forget the House Hippo.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:07 AM on March 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

desuetude, I think it's the same show dejah420 is talking about. I felt the same way you did. I hate how the History Channel pads everything by showing the same graphics over and over again, and repeating the same information (which is meagre to begin with) after the commercial break. I was especially disappointed because there's obviously a lot of cool info to share, but they just kept doing weird color-changing techniques and showing animals trotting around. Bleh.
posted by papercake at 10:29 AM on March 26, 2008

Yeah, I think that prolly is the same show. Considering that I watch TV while I'm doing stuff like surfing the web or playing games, I tend to miss a lot of the more annoying things.
posted by dejah420 at 11:01 AM on March 26, 2008

I thought it was cool how New York City looked in 'I am Legend.'


posted by sfts2 at 11:04 AM on March 26, 2008

ooops my faux '\vacuous post' tags are missing. I Am Dumbass.
posted by sfts2 at 11:05 AM on March 26, 2008

On the upside; poodles get eaten by predators, and I don't see how anyone could think that was a bad thing.

You are wrong, sir! Standard poodles are the most kick-ass dog there is. Calm, intelligent, strong, good-natured. Very fine dogs, indeed.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:47 AM on March 26, 2008

papercake and dejah420, apparently there are several shows inspired by the book (which I admittedly have not read) including one actually on the National Geographic channel. When someone graphs the breathlessness/accuracy of the variations we can FPP it and add [previously] [this very thread.]
posted by desuetude at 12:31 PM on March 26, 2008

Actually, dejah420 and papercake (and desuetude on preview), they were 2 separate shows, done around the same time, and were probably inspired by the Alan Weisman book. The History Channel show was Life After People, and the National Geographic show was Aftermath: Population Zero. The company I work for did some work on the Aftermath show.
posted by phirleh at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2008

I hate how the History Channel pads everything by showing the same graphics over and over again, and repeating the same information (which is meagre to begin with) after the commercial break.

Ditto. I like their The Universe show, but I was watching it last night at the same time that PBS's (oddly titled) Newton's Dark Secrets was on. Even though I was more interested in the topics on The Universe (compared to Newton, whom I'm pretty familiar with) once I switched to the Newton show, I never switched back.

Tivo/DVR would fix the commercial problem, but THC does repeat the same stuff over and over, which is frustrating. /rant
posted by mrgrimm at 12:36 PM on March 26, 2008

I used to fall asleep to the History Channel on a semi-regular basis. It does very strange things to your dreams. One minute I was a terrified citizen of Pompeii, the next I was Hitler's brother. When the station finally switched to paid programming, I remained Hitler's brother but I had much clearer skin thanks to ProActiv (tm).
posted by Someone has just shot your horse! at 1:34 PM on March 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

after 3 months there is no water in the toilet bowl
posted by kitchenrat at 2:41 PM on March 26, 2008

Some NG-esque show mentioned that pigs are smart enough that they can survive the transition of being released into the wild. A couple of weeks on the loose and Babe turns feral, as opposed to domesticated dogs and other livestock, whose dependence on humans makes them predator chow. So if all the farmers vanish and leave all those pig farms unguarded, suddenly there's a huge population of wildly pissed off pigs roaming the country, and if I know my Orwell, that's never a good thing.
posted by krippledkonscious at 4:31 PM on March 26, 2008 [2 favorites]