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Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em
March 29, 2008 10:35 PM   Subscribe

Chinese MC Hammer. Move for move nearly perfect redo of the original Hammer video. In someone's living room. While mom knits on the couch. It's a thousand kinds of awesome. via blort
posted by mathowie (74 comments total) 54 users marked this as a favorite

 
Luckily, they start at the same time, so this works.
posted by flatluigi at 10:43 PM on March 29, 2008 [9 favorites]


Well, not exactly the same time, but close enough.
posted by flatluigi at 10:43 PM on March 29, 2008


@ 1:47 = BEST OF WEB, possibly evar.


Honestly, when Al Gore invented the internet, this was his true intention. +1!
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 10:44 PM on March 29, 2008


This is certified Viral Video Gold, right down to the sewing in the background. Please Hammer don't hurt them, indeed!
posted by dhammond at 10:45 PM on March 29, 2008


I think this is proof that they finally turned on the large hadron collider, and it worked.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:47 PM on March 29, 2008 [2 favorites]


I think this is proof that they finally turned on the large hadron collider, and it worked.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:47 PM on March 29 [+] [!]


What, it vibrates?
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 10:49 PM on March 29, 2008


Ho.
Lee.
Shit.

I kept expecting him to crash into the TV or nail his mom in the face accidentally, but he never did. He just fucking ROCKED IT. My new hero.
posted by papakwanz at 10:50 PM on March 29, 2008


That's great! But, just for the sake of accuracy, I think his mom his crocheting.
posted by amyms at 10:50 PM on March 29, 2008 [7 favorites]


Unfortunately, Metafilter is the one kind of awesome this isn't.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:52 PM on March 29, 2008


Holy fucking crap. If you pause the left side original Hammer video for 2 seconds, the music and moves start matching up perfectly around the 30 second mark onwards. It just blew my fucking mind.
posted by mathowie at 10:52 PM on March 29, 2008


It would have been even cooler if his mom and whoever the other person is (we can only see his/her foot on the couch) would have jumped in toward the end and played the roles of Hammer's entourage.
posted by amyms at 10:53 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


By the way, our hero also has another video on youtube.
posted by papakwanz at 10:54 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is the greatest achievement in human history.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:57 PM on March 29, 2008 [4 favorites]


How is this video (the original) not in the iTunes Musical Internets?

This young man wins at awesome.
posted by device55 at 10:59 PM on March 29, 2008


It's a thousand kinds of awesome.

If, by "kinds of awesome," you mean "seconds too long."

Please mathowie, don't hurt 'em.
posted by not_on_display at 11:17 PM on March 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


yes its all awesome .. the "YouTube" doubler flatluigi posted is crazy too! That's the digital equivalent of having a bacon cheesburger made out of real ground bacon ..
posted by celerystick at 11:18 PM on March 29, 2008


I just want to say a few things here. I've had a couple of drinks, so I hope you'll bear with me.

Anonymous Chinese Internet Video Man, I salute you. I give you props for having balls that are, apparently, ten times larger than my own. I nod to you in admiration of your elite dancing skills. I bless your mother for her patience and willingness to keep her mind on her tasks while you are parading your dancing abilities in the cramped living room you are sharing with her.

Most of all, I thank you. I thank you for making me believe that on this world, this planet we're on, this tiny blue dot in the universe? We're not that different. I may not have donned those pants, but I'm sure I've done the Hammer Shuffle and Stopped! Hammer Time! on more than on occasion. This make us brothers. This makes us more than brothers. This makes us men who are comfortable being themselves, even with others mocked.

Thank you, Anonymous Chinese Internet Video Man, for reminding me that, underneath it all, that every time the hammer hits us, we must show our affection and unique abilities. You are a treasure and I only hope that you grow beyond the fame of the lipsynching Backstreet Boys guys and are able to show your skillset before the world.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 11:19 PM on March 29, 2008 [29 favorites]


This is not best of the recent web
posted by allen.spaulding at 11:20 PM on March 29, 2008


I meant "when others mocked," but I think the spirit came across. The spirit of hope, of freedom, of the love of doing that weird jackhammer move that only like 4 people on the planet made look good.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 11:24 PM on March 29, 2008


For the doubters in the audience, just watch the doubled youtube for one minute. There is magic from about 30 seconds to the end. I just bought a screencasting app to save that thing.
posted by mathowie at 11:35 PM on March 29, 2008


Okay, I had every intention of posting one of those wanky "DO NOT WANT TEH DUMB THINGIE" messages that are the du jour of Metafilter.

But this is freakin' brilliant.
posted by WCityMike at 11:36 PM on March 29, 2008


I like the feet-pumping and sliding thing, and the spirit of the kid, and his mom being in there is cute, but, if anything, Chinese Hammer made me appreciate the original MC Hammer video more than I ever did. Which I never thought I'd be able to say. (It's funner than I remembered!) So... umm... thanks?
posted by not_on_display at 11:42 PM on March 29, 2008


That is totally awesome. I love how his mom never bats an eye or pauses what she's doing.
posted by streetdreams at 11:46 PM on March 29, 2008


Exuberant and somehow restrained and mannered at the same time, freedom of wild expression within the bounds of propriety, the doddering grandmother knitting in the background, included in the scene for comic juxtaposition? a pragmatic choice required by cramped living quarters? or is it instead a respectful nod to the elders, see what I can do, I hope you approve. He certainly displays an admirable discipline, I could sense the resolve at the end to finish the job. His sister faithfully reproduces Bach on the violin.
posted by mert at 11:54 PM on March 29, 2008 [2 favorites]


It doesn't look like it's a perfect redo of the video--I got them in sync on the doubled youtube, and about halfway through he just looks like he's doing a routine comprised of Hammer's moves from the video, not a perfect recreation (like this). But that makes it only marginally less awesome.
posted by LooseFilter at 12:12 AM on March 30, 2008


His father died on the day the hammer pants factory went under in the spring of '92, leaving to his three year old son his grandfathers jacket and the crate of unsold hammer pants he received in lieu of yuan for his final payment. The child held the coat, glanced at the crate of pants, and remembered that crisis and opportunity share the same hanzi icon...
posted by bunnytricks at 12:12 AM on March 30, 2008 [4 favorites]


I may not have donned those pants, but I'm sure I've done the Hammer Shuffle and Stopped! Hammer Time! on more than on occasion.

That's okay, beaucoupkevin. I couldn't do the shuffle but by god I had the pants. I'm sure it evens out in the universe somehow.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:18 AM on March 30, 2008


"Can't Tase This"
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:32 AM on March 30, 2008


That's made my evening. Thanks!
posted by maxwelton at 12:34 AM on March 30, 2008


Well, I guess Rick Astley's fifteen minutes of internet stardom are over at last...
posted by dvdgee at 12:45 AM on March 30, 2008


I found his userpage at Chinese Youtube clone Youku, where he goes by the name MC强强 - this one has mum in the kitchen, perhaps preparing the chilli-fried fuel a young dance master needs to keep it flowing.
posted by Abiezer at 12:47 AM on March 30, 2008 [8 favorites]


i figured maybe he asked his mom to not look up but be in the video for comic effect?
is it possible to really not look up or be interested when that's going on?!
either that or she's seen it 1,000,000 times already... i guess she probably has :D
posted by jcruelty at 1:06 AM on March 30, 2008


ObHallmark
posted by RavinDave at 2:01 AM on March 30, 2008


I'm not gonna lie -- I focused on his mom the whole time, waiting to see if she would crack.

I think I love her.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 4:26 AM on March 30, 2008


Oh, he may be famous now, but little does the chinese guy know, 20 years from now, he'll be have squandered his fortune and be totally bankrupt, losing the house, those pants, and even his knitting mom.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:33 AM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


guy just got a bunch of energy form eating a cat or dog... cool stuff..

YouTube comments never disappoint
posted by matteo at 5:11 AM on March 30, 2008 [3 favorites]


Chinese MC Hammer does Thriller...

It misses the mum though; that raises the original from really rather brilliant to the level of sublime performance art.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:40 AM on March 30, 2008


Chinese MC Hammer does Thriller...

actually I think it's a friend of this... because I don't think it's physically possible for one person to have that amount of awesome in them
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:43 AM on March 30, 2008


I like the video by itself. The side by side thing isn't impressing me. But this kid is fun to watch. If you were around my house years ago, we'd have been doing the moves from thriller in this fashion.
posted by cashman at 5:44 AM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love it when Matt does a post...everyone says nice things and people "play well together".

This is what the U.N. could be like if mathowie was the Secretary General!
posted by HuronBob at 5:56 AM on March 30, 2008


God I love the internet.
posted by cyclopticgaze at 5:59 AM on March 30, 2008


Just think... if this were the original video for U Can't Touch this back in 199-... just how many records would have been sold. But no! Hammer had to fill it with lesser beings and fast cutting. Oh, the millions lost.
posted by dobbs at 6:49 AM on March 30, 2008


It's a thousand kinds of awesome.

It's a ten-thousand kinds of awesome.
posted by bwg at 7:50 AM on March 30, 2008


The kid's just too legit to quit.
posted by bwg at 7:55 AM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mom is busy making parachute pants for the next performance.
posted by dsaelf at 8:33 AM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wonderful!
posted by Quietgal at 8:40 AM on March 30, 2008


actually I think it's a friend of this

uhh, actually I think it's his dad.
posted by forallmankind at 8:54 AM on March 30, 2008


Now that he's famous, this guy's going to get so much ass. I just hope his mom has enough yarn to keep her occupied while he taps it.
posted by PlusDistance at 8:56 AM on March 30, 2008


Yet another product of China that has made me a little ill.
posted by toddbass10 at 9:04 AM on March 30, 2008


This is what the U.N. could be like if mathowie was the Secretary General!

World peace through ass-kissing.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:05 AM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mmmmm...C Hammer. Break it down.
posted by Ebray at 9:36 AM on March 30, 2008


Holy fuck, this guy is just incredible. Thank you Abiezer for finding those other videos. You can take me, anytime you want.

His 2 Legit 2 Quit video is great, because his older sister or something is sitting there reading the paper, then starts to watch him with quiet admiration. I wish my own family had been so happy when I grew up.
posted by papakwanz at 9:52 AM on March 30, 2008


More Hammer. This kid can really dance. Mom (or a sister?) is on the couch this time reading a newspaper, and watches for a bit, quite amused.
posted by LooseFilter at 9:56 AM on March 30, 2008


I'll nth the claim that what makes this video so super-special is the fact that mom never once blinks or cracks. I bet she has seen him practice that routine thousands of times. Why do I love you so, Chinese Hammer-Man? It's because your mom is so great to have raised a boy like you!
posted by msali at 9:58 AM on March 30, 2008


I hope this comes to the attention of Mr Stanley Kirk Burrell, who would definitely relate: "... he grew up with his mother, a secretary, and eight siblings in a cramped apartment in a very tough" section of East Oakland..."

Chinese MC Man should upload to Mc Hammer's new dance community, DanceJam. MC Hammer's got some geek cred goin' on.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:35 AM on March 30, 2008


Thanks for pointing us to the Too Legit to Quit one papawankz - I'd not really explored other than the one I linked. That makes it obvious he's doing it partly for fun because he tags it as "搞笑" or humour. I was thinking a tentative translation of MC强强 could be MC Tuff, 'cos our boys definitely tuff enough.
posted by Abiezer at 10:57 AM on March 30, 2008


Why's everyone think that's his mom? It's obviously his phat posse chillin' with de dawg and throwin' salt in his game. Word.
posted by RavinDave at 11:41 AM on March 30, 2008


Better than most Chinese knock-offs of American product, fersure.

His 2 Legit 2 Quit video is great, because his older sister or something [?] is sitting there

Something? Like what, Cthulu? Surely it's his older sister or someone sitting there!
posted by five fresh fish at 12:33 PM on March 30, 2008


Not that I guess it particularly matters, or anything ... but today is MC Hammer's birthday.
posted by RavinDave at 12:54 PM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mom (or a sister?) is on the couch this time reading a newspaper, and watches for a bit, quite amused.

She's 2 legit 2 quilt.
posted by oaf at 1:01 PM on March 30, 2008 [3 favorites]


2 LEGIT 2 KNIT
posted by davelog at 2:44 PM on March 30, 2008 [9 favorites]


His downstairs neighbors must HATE him.
posted by dismas at 2:49 PM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Having lived in China, this reminds me of the restraint and tolerance Chinese develop by having to live in tight quarters. His mom (or really, maybe grandma) has seen him practice a million times and is just getting on with what she has to do. I loved this video.
posted by trii at 5:03 PM on March 30, 2008


This seems to be his ahem legit YouTube channel, as HammerXXX. (Haven't seen any of the YouKu overlays there.)

@davelog: dying.
posted by brantstrand at 6:51 PM on March 30, 2008


Dancin' Machine side-by-side with the original is pretty good too.
posted by mathowie at 8:06 PM on March 30, 2008


Babelfish translates his name as MC "Strong Strong Version."

Indeed.
posted by Aversion Therapy at 8:23 PM on March 30, 2008


The guy's actually a pretty decent dancer. He seems pretty comfortable with the style of hammer and mj and it's fun to see him do both.

but this post will leave me forever curious about the other things lurking on images.metafilter.com. what are they hiding from us??
posted by mosessis at 9:15 PM on March 30, 2008


Babelfish translates his name as MC "Strong Strong Version."
This is why I as yet fear no machine translation stealing my work - the "version" here is as in MC强强's version of the dance video; it's not part of his name. I refer the honourable members to my early offering for a better rendition of his moniker. I am sure we are all cognisant of the implications of redoubling in Mandarin prosody and hence my aversion to the otherwise obvious "strong."
So few characters, so much opportunity for pedantry and smart-arsery!
posted by Abiezer at 11:46 PM on March 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yesterday morning, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about how one would import goods from South America, about how to ride off the cost of living on a business, about tax codes and part time work. I stormed out of the room, mumbling something like "Forget this-- I should have stayed in bed." A few hours after that, he woke me up, he kissed me. "Come with me," he said, "I have something that will absolutely delight you and when it's over, everything will be okay." And then he showed me the video of the dancing Chinese MC Hammer. And everything was okay.
posted by thebellafonte at 11:09 AM on March 31, 2008


Where's Vanilla Rice? He must live next door.

YouTube comments never disappoint
posted by Frasermoo at 11:41 AM on March 31, 2008


Well, sure... it's impressive and fun, but I think it needs to be put into perspective:

1> Although it is an excellent recreation of his moves, MC Hammer executed them significantly better.

2> MC Hammer was probably only a handful of years older than the Chinese guy when he started doing these moves.

3> There are *LOTS* of good young dancers out there. Some even live nearby, which you might even notice if you weren't scared of getting a cap busted on yo' ass in the nearest decaying innercity hellhole.

4> Chinese mom still doesn't know what to think of her son. She wanted him to be an engineer. As such, there is a cold, awkward silence has decended upon the household, interspersed with desperately funky pleas for attention.

5> Any lame white guy can do the same moves... and many have. If you're too out-of-shape, you can learn the more basic moves. (I'm pretty sure I saw Christopher Hitchens bustin' the same moves on Meet the Press a few weeks back.)

6> One day, wealthy, socially affluent, overfed Chinese office slackers will enjoy watching viral videos of less affluent white people dancing in the drywalled cargo containers they'll call their homes. (Give it another twenty years, more or less.)
posted by markkraft at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Killjoy was here.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:47 PM on March 31, 2008


I honestly, unironically loved this YouTube comment:

this guys a boss

i bet he went into the next room and smashed jessica alba and cassie at the same time

while his mama was still knittin

posted by emd3737 at 9:40 PM on April 1, 2008


(I'm pretty sure I saw Christopher Hitchens bustin' the same moves on Meet the Press a few weeks back.)

Yes. YES.

In all seriousness though, I'm pretty sure the Running Man is scheduled to be a demonstration sport at this year's Olympics.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:07 PM on April 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


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