Damn Rippies

March 31, 2008 12:13 PM

The Ripster phenomenon was identified back in 2006, and apparently, the movement has started to build momentum. I, for one, welcome our new rock-hard nerd overlords.
posted by SportsFan (118 comments total)

I, for one, think that the last thing the world needs is more insufferable fitness freaks.
posted by jonmc at 12:16 PM on March 31, 2008

Yes, only the sufferable ones please.

I kid because I love.
posted by Mister_A at 12:19 PM on March 31, 2008

There is no such animal, sir. Plus these gym hamsters are fucking hipsters, too. Can we just spray the locker rooms with mustard gas now?
posted by jonmc at 12:20 PM on March 31, 2008

Actually, fitness freaks it the third to last thing the world needs. The second to last is more lardasses. The last is snark.
posted by DU at 12:22 PM on March 31, 2008 [4 favorites]

Ripsters is an ass-tastic neologism that borders on incromulence. Pass the mustard gas indeed!
posted by Mister_A at 12:23 PM on March 31, 2008

I would greatly prefer hard-rock nerd overlords.
posted by saladin at 12:23 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Please won't someone start throwing these douches under the treadmill?
posted by notsnot at 12:25 PM on March 31, 2008

"incromulence"

The rock-hard nerd overlords specifically says the should be sheepish about their fitness. Is humility sufferable or not?
posted by DU at 12:26 PM on March 31, 2008

Hipsters becoming gym rats is yet another data point proving my theory that they ain't nothing but yuppies with bad taste in music.
posted by jonmc at 12:26 PM on March 31, 2008 [9 favorites]

Nerd-rock hard-lords over.
posted by Mister_A at 12:27 PM on March 31, 2008

These are the ass-hats who like Journey, correct?
posted by Mister_A at 12:28 PM on March 31, 2008

They don't like Journey, but they listen to it because that's what hipsters do.
posted by tommasz at 12:31 PM on March 31, 2008

Metafilter: Five dollars—let me pull your legs behind your head.
posted by porn in the woods at 12:33 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

tommasz, you just... you just don't understand. We don't listen to Journey, we sing along with Journey. Listening could possibly be construed as unironic appreciation. The activity of singing along allows for maximum display of hip, kitsch value.

There's a lot of rules, here, tommasz.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:33 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

confusing comments
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 12:36 PM on March 31, 2008

Possibly the best graffiti I've ever seen was on a bus stop bench in NE Portland. The bench had advertising for the Black Bear exhibit at the Oregon Zoo and someone had spray painted on it "Hipsters ate my baby"

So much undefinable awesome there.
posted by afflatus at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2008

As people grow older, stereotypes tend to fall apart. You'll notice that there aren't a lot of 18-24 year-old "ripsters" in that article.

There is an interesting subject in there somewhere I think. Why would anyone be ashamed of going to the gym. I am anti-gym (why pay money when you can get the same benefits in everyday life?), but pro-exercise. It not only helps you look good, it's good for your body in the long run, when performed in moderation. That's something that both nerds and jocks can agree on. snark snark.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2008

Why would anyone be ashamed of going to the gym.

Because it's a sign of excessive self-regard and vanity and narcissism. I, personally, refuse to got to a gym until they put ashtrays on the Stairmaster.
posted by jonmc at 12:44 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Everyone here is missing the most important point: why the hell does hyphens like that?! "Detect-ed"? "Every-thing"? He sounds like T. Herman Zweibel.
posted by echo target at 12:46 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Didn't Douglas Coupland cover this ground more than a decade ago in his only tolerable book, Microserfs?
posted by dersins at 12:46 PM on March 31, 2008

oops. "does he use hyphens"
posted by echo target at 12:46 PM on March 31, 2008

As people grow older, stereotypes tend to fall apart. You'll notice that there aren't a lot of 18-24 year-old "ripsters" in that article.

That's because shit starts to wear out and break down, and you realize that, hey, you know what, if you go from sitting on your rear end to an impromptu pick-up game, there's a better than average chance you'll wind up in the ER.

There is really nothing like the average 18-to-24-year-old for self-delusion ("yes, I really can eat this entire burrito stand with no ill effects") and roachlike endurance ("yes, I really can eat this entire burrito stand with no ill effects").

If you're in that age range, I think it's incumbent upon you to realize just how badly those of us who are past 30 and within a long reach of 40 want to pick up a crowbar and beat you with it.
posted by scrump at 12:48 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

That was idiotic drivel. Th VV piece in particular.

Because it's a sign of excessive self-regard and vanity and narcissism. I, personally, refuse to got to a gym until they put ashtrays on the Stairmaster.

Really. Everybody kill themselves! It's COOL. Jonmc says so.
posted by tkchrist at 12:50 PM on March 31, 2008

Why would anyone be ashamed of going to the gym.

Because it's a sign of excessive self-regard and vanity and narcissism.

And here I thought I went to the gym to get in shape and feel better. Now that I know the truth, I promise to allow more shame in the process.
posted by Brak at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2008

Will they be making ironic t-shirts in lycra?
posted by cazoo at 12:52 PM on March 31, 2008

Everybody kill themselves!

Don't do that, then I'll be lonely.

Sorry, relentless achievers and go-getters get my goat, and the whole fitness thing to my eyes is part of that. Plus I lift heavy things and run around all day long for a living. I'm not going to pay to do it again.
posted by jonmc at 12:54 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think this comes down to:

Exercise = good for you.
Not exercising = bad for you.

Sure, great, if hipsters need to call themselves ripsters to differentiate themselves from all the other people trying to be healthy around them, fine. At least they're exercising.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 12:55 PM on March 31, 2008

top jocks and bodybuilders are ALL nerds.

excel (calculating protein/N.O. intake, or designing anabolic curcuit programs) then they do at the gym.

the best physical results come from highly specified training regimens that require constant tweaking and recalculation. sounds like nerd fun to me.



but, remind me when "nerd" became synonymous with "hipster"? or is "skinny kid" just the assumed definition for both?
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 12:56 PM on March 31, 2008

And here I thought I went to the gym to get in shape and feel better. Now that I know the truth, I promise to allow more shame in the process.

Self flagellation with a cat-o-nine tails burns a ton of calories. Plus the scars are, like, WAAAY cool. It's gonna be the next big excer-trend.
posted by tkchrist at 12:56 PM on March 31, 2008

hmm... that should read:

"they spend more time in excel..." etc.
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2008

Not exercising = bad for you.

Nonsense. I never exercise, I smoke two packs a day, drink 6-12 beers a night, have a horrible diet and I'm going to outlive you all out of sheer spite. I'm also 6'1" and only 165 pounds. I'll be tapping ashes on your graves, Stairhamsters!! MWAHAHAHA!
posted by jonmc at 12:59 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

...and have less spelling errors.

TO BED!
posted by [son] QUAALUDE at 12:59 PM on March 31, 2008

I blame OK Go.
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:59 PM on March 31, 2008

Sure, great, if hipsters need to call themselves ripsters to differentiate themselves from all the other people trying to be healthy around them, fine.

Except that no one's calling themselves either of those two things, which is why the article makes absolutely no sense from the get-go:

1) I'm gonna call these people "hipsters"! Ha ha!
2) Wait, they're doing things that I assume hipsters don't do.
3) *thinks real hard*
4) Ah HA! They must be a Very Special KIND of hipster!
5) *writes article*
6) *makes rent*
posted by Greg Nog at 1:02 PM on March 31, 2008 [5 favorites]

I lift heavy things and run around all day long for a living. I'm not going to pay to do it again.

So don't, then. Nobody's making you.

P.S. Having a shitty job doesn't excuse you from being a dick.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:03 PM on March 31, 2008

I like my job, sys rq. I just think that fitness fiends are silly.
posted by jonmc at 1:05 PM on March 31, 2008

This article is a microcosm of everything that's wrong with New York.
posted by StopMakingSense at 1:07 PM on March 31, 2008

A: I lift heavy things and run around all day long

B: I never exercise

Pick a story and stick with it, jonmc.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:07 PM on March 31, 2008

Self flagellation with a cat-o-nine tails burns a ton of calories.

Holy crap, that kills two birds with one stone!

Pleasepleaseplease auto-erotic asphyxiation for the trifecta....
posted by Brak at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2008

Sure, great, if hipsters need to call themselves ripsters to differentiate themselves from all the other people trying to be healthy around them, fine. At least they're exercising.

I have never met a hipster. I hear about where they hang out.

"Man, that Chop Suey was sooo cool. Until the hipsters showed up!"

"Hipsters?"

"Yeah, man."

So I go. And look around. I ask a guy "Are you a hipster?"

"Fuck no."

So I ask the same of his girl. She says no. So I keep asking. The entire place, supposedly a haven for these mysterious creatures, seems absent of them.

"You should go to the Nine Pound Hammer. That place used to rock until..."

"Hipsters?"

"Yeah. Hipsters. Fuckers."

So I go to Nine Pound Hammer. Giddy with anticipation. Like an anthropologist discovering a new tribe.

To me everybody looked like the first place. Young. Jeans. T-shirts. Drinking PBR or long necks or micro-brews.

"FUCK NO. I ain't no HIPSTER."

It dawned on me nobody refers to themselves as a hipster. It is only a quality others thrust upon you for what ever irrational reason. Even though they may be indistinguishable from you. Even though they hold pretty much the same crucial demographic as you.

It's the observer that defines the object. But once interfered with the object defies the definition. Sort of a Quantum social order. Interesting.

I suspect Ripsters likewise do not exist except in the mind of the biased observer. And then when grasped at vanishes into the ether.
posted by tkchrist at 1:10 PM on March 31, 2008 [13 favorites]

I like my job, sys rq. I just think that fitness fiends are silly.

You need to shut up now.
posted by tkchrist at 1:13 PM on March 31, 2008

"All those health nuts are gonna feel real stupid sitting in the rest home dying from nothing." - Redd Foxx.
posted by jonmc at 1:15 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

Let's form a pack and beat them until they are unable to even approach the outer perimeters of our lawns.
posted by xod at 1:16 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sorry, relentless achievers and go-getters get my goat, and the whole fitness thing to my eyes is part of that. Plus I lift heavy things and run around all day long for a living. I'm not going to pay to do it again.

Hey Jon - I'm *almost* one of these guys... But I'm 6'4" and at my heaviest weighed 380. I've been gymming for about a year and a half, and now weigh 280 on a full stomach. I figure I've got another 25lbs to go before I'm happy to maintain...

I started doing it because I really needed to drop the weight. I'm an IT guy, so I don't get a whole lot of exercise, other than walking around a lot and occasionally moving/hauling pcs, servers, printers, etc...

I still do it because I like the way I feel, and frankly, the way I look. I'm naturally built like a brick shithouse, so I might as well be a ripped brick shithouse...

Plus, I figure regular excercise and somewhat healthy eating offset the pints of porter, jack daniels, and my pack every day or so Spirit blue habit...

Also, I pretty much exclusively listen to the Heavy Metal box set while lifting. If you've never put up a shitton of iron in the middle of the crazyassed second solo to Highway Star (right around the 3:47 mark) you should. Good times. =)
posted by stenseng at 1:17 PM on March 31, 2008

That was idiotic drivel. Th VV piece in particular.

Redundant. The Voice is where second-string college newspaper hacks go to delay the inevitable epiphany that they can't write for shit.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:18 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

stenseg you fucking excessively self-regarded narcissist. Grab a smoke already. I so sick you fiends getting jonmc's goat. What the hell do you want with his goat anyway? Oh. Probably to lift for four sets of 12 reps. AMIRITE!
posted by tkchrist at 1:20 PM on March 31, 2008

If you've never put up a shitton of iron in the middle of the crazyassed second solo to Highway Star (right around the 3:47 mark) you should.

The only thing I'll ver lift during 'Highway Star' is a 40oz. If you see me in a gym, assume it's an impostor and shoot him.
posted by jonmc at 1:20 PM on March 31, 2008

We get it, jonmc. You're cooler than all of us.
posted by notsnot at 1:22 PM on March 31, 2008

We get it, jonmc. You're cooler than all of us.

When he finally gets cancer it will be, like, so not for poseurs.
posted by tkchrist at 1:25 PM on March 31, 2008

Just another lazy NYC writer trying to come up with a buzzword & "hot trend" to pay rent this month. Like "metrosexual," "bromance," "man date," and "frenemies." Don't waste your time.
posted by Brian James at 1:25 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

mmmmph. pass the butter stick. mmmmph.
posted by quonsar at 1:27 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

I have condensed the article for those who can't read such nauseating copy:

"its secretly okay to go to the gym because other people are secretly going to the gym and we're all really rad and modest but like totally hip and like everything and not competitive but like secretly competitive but like in a totally cool way and i will totally hold it against you if i ever interview you for an article and you refuse to allow me to air all of your dirty laundry but like thats okay because i am hip like you"
posted by dobie at 1:29 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

It dawned on me nobody refers to themselves as a hipster. It is only a quality others thrust upon you for what ever irrational reason. Even though they may be indistinguishable from you. Even though they hold pretty much the same crucial demographic as you.

Here's a secret about this internet website. We're all fucking hipsters on it. Now there's degrees and context: put me in Williamsburg and I am not a hipster at all, but put me in the middle of Pennsylvania and goddamn am I a hipster. Most everyone on this website is probably around the 99th hipster percentile. Even jonmc, dude, has like the second most hipster job ever after "being in Interpol."
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:33 PM on March 31, 2008 [7 favorites]

IS THIS SOMETHING I'D HAVE TO SMOKE TO UNDERSTAND
posted by scrump at 1:35 PM on March 31, 2008

I just went out on the loading dock and chainsmoked two cigs...


Do I still get to be cool?
posted by stenseng at 1:36 PM on March 31, 2008

We're all fucking hipsters on it.

There you go. Defining other people as hipsters. With out an actual definition of anything at all.
posted by tkchrist at 1:37 PM on March 31, 2008

the second most hipster job ever after "being in Interpol."

international law enforcement is hip again? somebody tell James Bond.
posted by jonmc at 1:37 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

I just went out on the loading dock and chainsmoked two cigs...


Do I still get to be cool?

No. You have too much upper body definition. Now. Put down the goat. I SAID PUT IT DOWN!
posted by tkchrist at 1:38 PM on March 31, 2008

If I had a dime for every time I've heard that one...
posted by stenseng at 1:42 PM on March 31, 2008

I mean... uh...
posted by stenseng at 1:42 PM on March 31, 2008

Are You a Hipster? -- Quiz #1.

Are You a Hipster? -- Quiz #2.
posted by ericb at 1:54 PM on March 31, 2008

Interpol

Very NYC hipster band, you won't like them.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:56 PM on March 31, 2008

I know who they are (and you're right, they were kind of boring), I was making a joke.
posted by jonmc at 2:00 PM on March 31, 2008

It dawned on me nobody refers to themselves as a hipster. It is only a quality others thrust upon you for what ever irrational reason.

Here's the rule for determining who is a hipster: if you complain about hipsters, you are one. Trucker caps and Pabst Blue Ribbon are ancillary. Whatever "hipster" even means, since, as you say, it's an ill-defined quality that seems to only have "negative" as something anyone can agree on. It mostly seems to mean "people that do and like the exact same things I do, but who I perceive as having started doing and liking them after I did and thus they're glomming onto a trend while I'm groundbreaking and original". Thus, if you complain about them, you are one. Never mind the fact that all the little WACKY, UNDERGROUND, KITSCHY stuff you like was placed there by some marketer.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:06 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

Heh. Goat boy. So the almighty original ripsters are the heathen masters of disaster, the virtuous vixens of velocity, the smoking sinners of speed, the bike messengers. Exercising like hell AND getting paid, and still able to smoke a ton of weed on the job, that is the life! NO ONE IS MORE RAD NOR MORE HIP!
posted by Mister_A at 2:09 PM on March 31, 2008

I thought you were talking about the international police force. Shit.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:09 PM on March 31, 2008

Well, while we're arguing about hipsters, I may as well link back to older AskMeFi comment of mine, in which I argue that hipsters are totally fags.
posted by Greg Nog at 2:10 PM on March 31, 2008

Here's a secret about this internet website. We're all fucking hipsters on it.

Hey, whoa, what? Fuck that ridiculous noise. I'm no fucking hipster. I'm in a bluegrass band.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:31 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Here's a secret about this internet website. We're all fucking hipsters on it.

Are you kidding me? I live in a town of 2200 people and eat (sincerely) at church suppers. I shower with old ladies at the pool gym in totally non-ironic ways. Speak for yourself.
posted by jessamyn at 2:36 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

Hey, whoa, what? Fuck that ridiculous noise. I'm no fucking hipster. I'm in a bluegrass band.

NEOHILLBILLY!
posted by tkchrist at 2:39 PM on March 31, 2008

I shower with old ladies at the pool gym in totally non-ironic ways.

NEO... uh... um... THAT IS SICK!
posted by tkchrist at 2:40 PM on March 31, 2008

what do you call an aging gen-x-er? i think that's what i'm supposed to be.
posted by cazoo at 2:44 PM on March 31, 2008

what do you call an aging gen-x-er? i think that's what i'm supposed to be.

Well, first off, do you shower with jessamyn at the pool gym?
posted by Brak at 2:47 PM on March 31, 2008

Man, bluegrass used to be cool until all the hipsters started playing it......
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:48 PM on March 31, 2008

If I recall correctly, Baby Balrog is a twentysomething who plays in a bluegrass band, wears a funny hat and studies something obscure.

And jessamyn runs a Donald Barthelme fanpage, wears a nostril piercing and had waist-length dreadlocks until, what, last week?
posted by box at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2008

I make it a point to be home in time to watch my daily M*A*S*H rerun. I like Journey unironically. I haven't seen a movie in a theater in over 5 years. I have never been inside a nightclub. I win.
posted by jonmc at 2:51 PM on March 31, 2008

Whenever you point out facts, preferences, and habits in yourself that you say prove you are not a hipster, anyone can just say "That's such a hipster thing to do." It's a fact: this defense does not work.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:53 PM on March 31, 2008

Yes, jonmc. You........win.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:57 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

You live in New York City. You work at a used bookstore. You wear Chuck Taylors every day.
posted by box at 2:58 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

Interpol is another good metric. If you correctly realize that every song they ever "wrote" is just Shadowplay by Joy Division slightly rearranged with different words and their image and haircuts are more important than their actual music, you're probably safe. They're like Spandau Ballet for the 21st century.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:59 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

You live in New York City. You work at a used bookstore. You wear Chuck Taylors every day.

Somebody call Seth Putnam, these sound like the beginnings of some great A.C. lyrics.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:03 PM on March 31, 2008 [4 favorites]

How quaint. A bunch of hipsters arguing as to who is less of a hipster.
posted by Eekacat at 3:03 PM on March 31, 2008 [5 favorites]

Hipsters are like latter-day beatniks with worse aesthetics and higher credit limits, right?

I don't get out much.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:21 PM on March 31, 2008

jonmc & jessamyn: hipster-ocrites.
posted by Hat Maui at 3:21 PM on March 31, 2008

Here's a secret about this internet website. We're all fucking hipsters on it.

No. You guys are worse than hipsters, because I have to endure the same rock arcana disputes and there's no free weed in it for me.
posted by kid ichorous at 3:25 PM on March 31, 2008

I'm a little flattered that you guys think hipsters would even talk to me.
posted by jessamyn at 3:26 PM on March 31, 2008

actually me and jessamyn are both pushing 40, so I think we fall more into the 'bitter old crank' demographic, amirite?
posted by jonmc at 3:28 PM on March 31, 2008

Dance my little puppets. DANCE!
posted by tkchrist at 3:30 PM on March 31, 2008

I WILL NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY MY HIPSTER STATUS AS IT IS PLAINLY A SUCKERS GAME except Jessamyn who made my day with the image of her eating at chuch suppers
posted by everichon at 3:37 PM on March 31, 2008

Ch-rist. Are we seriously trying to resurrect smoking as cool? Let's try harder, boys and girls.

You know what's fun? Going out and doing what you like. If that's exercise, that's great. If it's staying home playing vids, that's cool, too. However, doing either because you want to be seen doing it, or because someone tells you to, is pathetic.

However, try going out and doing something you like. I guarantee some insecure asshole will project all their own reasons why you "must" be doing it.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:37 PM on March 31, 2008 [3 favorites]

Everything about this article angers me.
posted by papakwanz at 3:55 PM on March 31, 2008 [2 favorites]

I guess there are a couple of guys like this at my Muay Thai gym. Most people, whether they're hipsters or not, use "hipster" in a really condescending way. However, these are actually two pretty nice guys. I see how one would be seen as pretentious or whatever, but the other one is just a really down-to-earth guy that happens to know how to deliver bone-crushing knees and elbows.

The former has a bunch of really interesting artsy tattoos and is pretty built. When I first saw him I thought "Well, that combination is rather unusual. I suppose he would be an art-scene dreamboat." He wears worn out shirts and has one of those cylindrical caps. Isn't Matthew Barney pretty built, too?

The latter is a bartender at an interesting bar in downtown LA that all the roller derby girls go to. He has a bunch of interesting, tasteful tattoos and is a 100% nice guy.

Hipster or not, I think everyone should be fit. Is there anything wrong with that?

Are the anti-gym people on here just mad at all the gym-going dicks they've met? Well, you can be a dick about anything, you know. Gardening is certainly a productive activity and I've met a few fuckers who do that. I've met some community outreach people who are insufferable pricks, too. I mean, there are assholes everywhere. We're surrounded by them. Hell, many of us are even assholes ourselves. That doesn't mean that we should discourage or decry an interest in physical fitness.
posted by redteam at 4:19 PM on March 31, 2008

Thank god I'm old.
posted by MrVisible at 4:37 PM on March 31, 2008

Let me be the first to self-identify as a hipster. I spent my Saturday getting brunch at Teddy's on Wythe and N. 8th, then off to the Built-by-Wendy sample sale with my girlfriend, then over to Beacon's Closet and then home to watch old Escaflowne on DVD. I might add, if you understand why what I just said makes me a hipster, then you are one yourself.

I honestly don't mind. It's a subculture, centered in Williamsburg, though it definitely has it's outposts in LES and Astoria, as well as around the country. There's nothing wrong with it except for the too-cool one-upmanship that happens sometimes, by the most assholic of us. That doesn't mean it's all or even most of us.

And yes, most of us are nerds, and while some might pose for irony while singing Journey, the truth is we do it because we love it, and deep down we're all still the scared little sixth-grader afraid of what people will think.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:40 PM on March 31, 2008

If you have time to work out it means you aren't spending enough time hitting the books.
posted by Dillenger69 at 4:50 PM on March 31, 2008

Hitting the books is what I do all day every day. Afterward means swimming, running, weights, whatever. It's fun, and leaves me less tired than when I pull my bones out of the chair that has my permanent ass-print in it at the end of the day.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:55 PM on March 31, 2008

Let me be the first to self-identify as a hipster.
posted by Navelgazer

Eponysterical!
posted by dersins at 5:24 PM on March 31, 2008

You know what's fun? Going out and doing what you like. If that's exercise, that's great. If it's staying home playing vids, that's cool, too. However, doing either because you want to be seen doing it, or because someone tells you to, is pathetic.

However, try going out and doing something you like. I guarantee some insecure asshole will project all their own reasons why you "must" be doing it.

Amen!

The problem with this article isn't that exercise is good or bad, or that "hipsters" are or aren't working out. It's that all this petty squabbling over authenticity is disgusting.

Look: for years, advertisers have been convincing people that their lives are inauthentic, that the things they do don't matter because they're not young or hip or rich or sexy enough. When they do it, it's an act of pure, soul-destroying evil. But you know what? At least they get paid for it. Let's not go around committing the same evil act for free, k?
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:46 PM on March 31, 2008

what is this about
posted by dminor at 6:12 PM on March 31, 2008

About 75 comments too long, I'd say...
posted by Dizzy at 6:13 PM on March 31, 2008

Once again, the annoyance caused by the article is completely erased by the sheer enjoyment of the accompanying metafilter thread...I am curious about one thing that may be slightly off-topic (and feel free to tell me to take it to AskMeta): is "Hipster Doofus" a derogatory term used predominately in California?
posted by squasha at 6:15 PM on March 31, 2008

'Hipster doofus'? Man, that phrase has some staying power.
posted by box at 6:36 PM on March 31, 2008

Yes and no.
Wikipedia says the original cite is from a "Seinfeld" episode.
(Buncha ex-New Yorkers transplanted to LA, making a show about NY? I'd call it a tie...)
posted by Dizzy at 6:38 PM on March 31, 2008

Here's a secret about this internet website. We're all fucking hipsters on it.

I've never fucked anybody on this internet website, and I certainly wouldn't fuck one who self-identified as a hipster.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:50 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

*leaves the room, walking funny*
posted by quonsar at 6:51 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think this can be all traced to the opening credits of The Flight of the Conchords.

(Does that reference make me a hipster? Or just fat?)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 6:51 PM on March 31, 2008

Dizzy, are you reading a different Wikipedia page than I am? Because the Kramer page doesn't say anything about Seinfeld's usage of 'hipster doofus' (in a 1993 episode) being the first one.
posted by box at 6:54 PM on March 31, 2008

Line 10, on the page you referenced.
posted by Dizzy at 6:58 PM on March 31, 2008

Oh. I type corrected. I should NOT have said "original" cite.
Apologies!
posted by Dizzy at 7:00 PM on March 31, 2008

Over 100 comments in and no one has yet figured out that this two-year-old article was most likely a total hoax? Tsk, tsk. (Gawker's first article on Nick Sylvester making stuff up in his VV articles; full Gawker coverage; way-too-long I Love Music thread.)

April Fool's apparently came a day early this year.
posted by monosyllabic at 7:00 PM on March 31, 2008

or a day late and a dollar short. or something.

seriously, though...the all the people mentioned in the second article are ACTORS. pretty much by definition, screen and television stars are not nerds. huff. grumble.
posted by nosila at 7:21 PM on March 31, 2008

I can't keep up. Am I allowed to exercise, or will I be met with withering scorn? I just need to weigh my healthy vs. cool options accurately.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:55 PM on March 31, 2008 [1 favorite]

Could we, in the parlance of our times, turn some griefers loose on these ripsters?
posted by fleetmouse at 8:23 PM on March 31, 2008

What's that? Reavers among the ripsters?

*sews marmot into jogging suit*

vagina.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:30 PM on March 31, 2008

If somebody calls you a hipster, you're probably a hipster. If you call somebody else a hipster, you're probably a hipster. If you deny that you are a hipster, you are definitely a hipster. I am a hipster.
posted by tehloki at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2008

I like Journey unironically.

My own love for Journey is infused with a delightful hint of irony, but it's a very sincere irony. And if someone thinks that isn't cool, well, then-- that's just my burden to bear, isn't it?
posted by octobersurprise at 6:49 AM on April 1, 2008

WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS LET THE AIR OUT OF MY TIRE LAST NIGHT????
posted by quonsar at 8:51 AM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

The other day, I had this (lightly paraphrased) exchange with my friends' seven-year-old kid:

Kid: You're crazy.
Me: No I'm not. You're crazy.
Kid: I'm not crazy.
Me: Oh, yeah you are. Crazy people always say they're not crazy. That's how you can tell.

(She likes Melt Banana and virtual-pet videogames. Hipster.)
posted by box at 11:44 AM on April 1, 2008