NKOTB Reunion?

April 1, 2008 8:10 AM

The New Kids on the Block are getting back togetheraccording to the Boston Globe. It wouldn't be the first time the Globe played an April Fool's Day prank on its readers. But it's also in RollingStone. Countdown to the reunion. NKOTB myspazz.
posted by brooklynexperiment (45 comments total)

Rolling Stone links to people which published this yesterday so probably not an April Fool.
posted by zeoslap at 8:21 AM on April 1, 2008

This is the best news in the history of the world.
posted by empath at 8:25 AM on April 1, 2008

It wouldn't be the first time the Globe played an April Fool's Day prank on its readers.

Not really.

"Boston Dirt Dogs is a fan site produced by Boston.com. The Boston Globe newspaper and its Sports Dept. do not oversee the site and have no role in its production. BDD’s content is solely the responsibility of Boston.com."

posted by ericb at 8:29 AM on April 1, 2008

If you don't like New Kids on the Block, you should.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:30 AM on April 1, 2008

The two Wahlbergs should ditch those other losers and go on a rap duo show.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:32 AM on April 1, 2008

At last. At last.
posted by cmonkey at 8:34 AM on April 1, 2008

When are the surviving fat boys getting back together?
posted by cashman at 8:35 AM on April 1, 2008

I want to see some of these boy bands reunite when they're in their 50s and starting to deteriorate. That will be amusing.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:37 AM on April 1, 2008

Diablo Cody squeals with joy.
posted by drezdn at 8:47 AM on April 1, 2008

I hope they have the right stuff to pull this off. See what I did there?
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:58 AM on April 1, 2008

If you don't like New Kids on the Block, you should.

These guys were huge with the teeny boppers when I was busy smoking dope, bad-mouthing my country and hauling ass to Lollapalooza.

I still don't know that I have ever actually heard a New Kids song, then or now.
posted by psmealey at 9:02 AM on April 1, 2008

I registered- here's what they say:

Hi!

Thanks so much for signing up for official New Kids on the Block updates; your subscription was a success! Be sure to stay tuned and check back often!

If you have any questions about our emails or have any feedback of your own, please don't hesitate to reply to this email. We'd love to hear from you.

Also, we'll be including a removal link in every email we send you, so you can leave our list any time that suits you. More information on our privacy standards can be found here - http://www.gctrl.com/privacy

Thanks,
www.nkotb.com, the OFFICIAL online home of New Kids on the Block
posted by localhuman at 9:04 AM on April 1, 2008

Between this and a new Cynic OMG album coming out it's like, I don't know, it's like there will be two major musical events this year.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:12 AM on April 1, 2008

Maybe they should just die instead.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:14 AM on April 1, 2008

I got burned back in '03 with the (alleged) return of The Trouble With Tracy, and it still hurts; so forgive me if I remain skeptical.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 9:31 AM on April 1, 2008

At a yardsale just outside Boston a few years back, I found and purchased a complete set of NKotB trading cards. True story. So if it was going to happen, this would be the place.
posted by Eideteker at 9:32 AM on April 1, 2008

I have always suspected that there was only ever one boy-band and it just reitterated itself over and over again. Zombie vampire high-lander boy-bands that never die.

There can be only one, of course
posted by Pecinpah at 9:41 AM on April 1, 2008

There can be only one, of course

What about these guys? Or these guys? Or even these guys?
posted by psmealey at 9:51 AM on April 1, 2008

Or these guys?
posted by goatdog at 10:02 AM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

That's what I'm sayin'. They're all the same guys.

Zombies are magical like that.
posted by Pecinpah at 10:09 AM on April 1, 2008

America, your long national nightmare is over.
posted by modernnomad at 10:10 AM on April 1, 2008

If you don't like New Kids on the Block, you should.

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY LAWN.

Do not want, this is bad, will destroy with millions of killbots, etc.

No. No, I can't even "like" them "ironically" - I'm old enough to remember the first time they came through and WHY DO YOU THINK THE WORLD IS SO FUCKED UP TODAY?

No. I can't "ironically" "like" Milli Vanilli, either, or MC Hammer, or Poison, or any of that corporate bullllllllshiiiit that was already bought, sold and fucking paid for in their attempts to cram it down our consumerist throats.

Look, it might be novel or funny to you bit-fed grub-larvae in this day and age of always-on, instant and pervasive media where so many seem to have more choices than taste or common sense, but for the love of all of the holiest of holy crap, please don't make us live through this shit again. It hurt enough the first time around.

Some of us were there. We remember the TV commercials, we remember the shitty posters, the trading cards, the toys, the bright, shiny, OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO SMASH THEM IN faces beaming out from colorful cereal boxes.

It sucked, ok? Irony doesn't make it not suck. It makes it suck more. It's like trying to watch someone recycle their own excrement. Orally.

Between this sort of damnable "Hey, it's cool to be terrible!" irony and the rickrolling, if I had known way back then what I know now, I would have made it my sworn goal to destroy the internet.


No, seriously. You're going to want to move in about 10 seconds. Or less.

That's about when the giant, concrete-melting speakers are going to turn on and start blasting a really lo-fi Throbbing Gristle bootleg mixed with a lost recording of John Zorn destroying a piano with his turgid cock whilst Diamandias Galas screams about the millions of angry bees in her vagina.

Yeah, it's an attractive nuisance musically speaking but for reasons of both comfort and safety the optimal listening zone is about a half-mile thataway in a reinforced, shock-mounted concrete bunker.
posted by loquacious at 10:27 AM on April 1, 2008 [9 favorites]

Ahem. Pardon me.

I'm just a wee bit allergic to the calculated cynicism and greed that is known as The Recording Industry.
posted by loquacious at 10:29 AM on April 1, 2008

New Kids on the Block: currently neither kids, nor new to the block.

I smell a new-band-name contest!
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 10:56 AM on April 1, 2008

So, loquacious, you are just ironically not liking these guys a lot, right? Like, oh-I'm-so-old-I-hate-stuff irony?

Heh, heh...man, you are a riot with that stuff.

Shee-oot...
posted by Pecinpah at 11:14 AM on April 1, 2008

Irony doesn't make it not suck.

"Irony" is the last refuge of people with really bad taste.
posted by psmealey at 12:05 PM on April 1, 2008

Perfect timing, because Ron of Crap From the Past is giving away his NKOTB collection
posted by wheelieman at 12:41 PM on April 1, 2008

New Kids on the Block: currently neither kids, nor new to the block.

They should totally tour with Sonic Youth, call it the "Choose Your Band Name Carefully" Tour. Six cities only. At the end of each night, Lee Renaldo gets to choke a New Kid to death with one of his broken guitar strings. While the guitar's still plugged in. The resulting "composition" ("Strangled '80s") will be the only piece played in a gala final-stop performance at Lincoln Center in New York. Guest guitar by Glenn Branca, guest vocals by Lydia Lunch. Scorsese films it, to make up for doing a Rolling Stones concert film thirty years late.

I see you nodding, Marty. Have your people call my people.
posted by gompa at 12:48 PM on April 1, 2008 [6 favorites]

When are the surviving fat boys getting back together?

Dude. Without the human beatbox Tha Ox That Rocks? I hardly think so.

Anyway, what's the point? These guys weren't musicians, they were pin-ups for sexually sheltered middle school girls. They were five singing Corey Feldmans. Who are they going to appeal to now that they're pushing 40? They crapped out in the first place because they no longer appealed to the same girls 3-4 years later and were old news to the younger kids. Are those same girls, now also pushing 40, going to see them as a nostalgic symbol of a time before the soul-crushing despair of their adult lives and their squandered potential, or are they just going to be embarrassed that they ever liked them even now?

Also, is anyone else seeing MeFi in CGA Cyan for some reason?
posted by DecemberBoy at 12:52 PM on April 1, 2008

Also, is anyone else seeing MeFi in CGA Cyan for some reason?

Yup, just for a brief moment, then I reloaded the page and it went away.
posted by zarah at 12:55 PM on April 1, 2008

Are those same girls, now also pushing 40, going to see them as a nostalgic symbol of a time before the soul-crushing despair of their adult lives and their squandered potential, or are they just going to be embarrassed that they ever liked them even now?

If only they'd met a joyless, misanthropic hipster somewhere along the line, their lives might've found real meaning . . .
posted by gompa at 12:59 PM on April 1, 2008

chinese food makes me sick
posted by PenDevil at 1:11 PM on April 1, 2008

If only they'd met a joyless, misanthropic hipster somewhere along the line, their lives might've found real meaning . . .

Are you volunteering?
posted by DecemberBoy at 1:12 PM on April 1, 2008

A prank?

Oh girl, you know it's true... pure evil like that cannot be stopped, it will rise again and again to consume and satisfy its heathen blood-lust. I knew entertainment would eventually descend into a race to the bottom, but I never imagined the end result would be a feedback loop.

*shudders and tries to repress memories that come flooding up like Bacardi 151 and Kool-Aid on prom night*
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:12 PM on April 1, 2008

I can think of nothing more repulsive. So naturally, this will make a billion billion dollars.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:28 PM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Are those same girls, now also pushing 40, going to see them as a nostalgic symbol of a time before the soul-crushing despair of their adult lives and their squandered potential

I hate bad music as much as anyone, but that's harsh even by my standards. Besides, what the New Kids on the Block (or NSync, Backstreet Boys, etc) did doesn't really rate as music at all, good or bad. It's breakfast cereal, cotton candy, soda pop, it's marketing. It's nothing to get too upset about.

Bad music, on the other hand, is worthy of your bile. It's the shit that cynically masquerades as good music in order to sell records or confer some kind of "cool" its consumer. It's Foghat, Korn, Bush, the Stone Temple Pilots, Nickelback, the Strokes, etc. It's fraudulent and corrosive. Totally different deal.
posted by psmealey at 1:35 PM on April 1, 2008

I hate bad music as much as anyone, but that's harsh even by my standards.

[Foghorn Leghorn]It's a joke, I say, it's a joke, son. Laugh.[/Foghorn Leghorn]

I even put a disclaimer in my profile for these occasions.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:06 PM on April 1, 2008

It's easy and fun to slag NKOTB, but singles like "Step by Step" and "The Right Stuff" are enjoyable bubblegum. Don't get worked up over a band this silly.
posted by porn in the woods at 3:28 PM on April 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Are those same girls, now also pushing 40, going to see them as a nostalgic symbol of a time before the soul-crushing despair of their adult lives and their squandered potential...

Yes.

*sob*
posted by amyms at 5:15 PM on April 1, 2008

*sniffle*
posted by amyms at 5:17 PM on April 1, 2008

Okay I'm over it.

I enjoyed NKOTB, but I also knew how to distinguish their bubble gum fare from the music of "real" bands. Bubble gum is a legitimate genre of music. It's different from rock, from metal, from hip-hop, from bluegrass, from jazz, etc., but that doesn't make it wrong. People's taste in music isn't an either/or proposition (at least it shouldn't be). Can't we be allowed to like all sorts of music without the haters giving us grief?
posted by amyms at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2008

When I hear the term "New Kids on the Block" my brain stutters, and I wonder if there might be a gay porn video entitled "New Kids on the Cell Block".
posted by Tube at 6:48 PM on April 1, 2008

I want to see some of these boy bands reunite when they're in their 50s and starting to deteriorate. That will be amusing.

Someone made a movie about that very thing. Unfortunately it was pretty crap, but then that would have been hard to avoid considering it involved BOYBANDS (definitely BOYBANDist)
posted by h00py at 6:48 PM on April 1, 2008

I believe you have a mistake there. Myspazz should be spelled Myspasm.
posted by Laotic at 1:51 AM on April 2, 2008

Wow. This reopens deep, old wounds from my childhood.

Does, uh, anyone have a towel? Or some gauze? Or both? I don't want this to get on the floor, I just cleaned it.
posted by Minus215Cee at 10:01 PM on April 2, 2008