Born to Run Vista

April 16, 2008 5:10 PM

"Bruce Springsteen" sings the glories of Vista SP1. I wouldn't be surprised if the real Springsteen leads a strike force into Microsoft headquarters when he sees his duplicate (complete with faux Courtney Cox in the audience) singing "See what's on employees' desktops / with AIS and M-DOP".
posted by WCityMike (67 comments total)

plus he endorsed Obama today.
posted by ornate insect at 5:13 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

"Does it matter if a company that makes operating systems is cool? Not really. Should it matter that they are out of touch with modern popular culture? No. Does the very existence of this video betray the fundamental desolation in the soul of every large corporate sales executive? I'll let fake Bruce answer that one, fist cocked skyward: 'Our ecosystem rocks!'

How many Microsoft salesmen saw this video dribble down from management, put their faces in their palms, and wept? I bet if we could see the sales numbers after this video was released, there would be an immediate dip." ^*

posted by ericb at 5:18 PM on April 16

Dont forget to check out one of Microsoft's previous chart-toppers!
posted by jlowen at 5:20 PM on April 16

A bankruptcy of the spirit, a poverty of the soul.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:27 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]

music and computers rock
posted by ornate insect at 5:27 PM on April 16

Please stop saying, "Rock." You're ruining the word.
posted by ColdChef at 5:30 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

oh my god - i think i'm going to go back to watching vronsky's shithead video
posted by pyramid termite at 5:31 PM on April 16

Vista, gotta get me some.
posted by nola at 5:32 PM on April 16

Wow, I want to be that chubby middle aged white guy in the suit. You know, the one "hesitating" but then sees the Vista and ends up grooving with a saxophone at the end. Awesome!
posted by Nelson at 5:33 PM on April 16

Rock
posted by ornate insect at 5:36 PM on April 16

I'm now wondering why people hate Vista so much that they need to sell it like it is. Or is this the video they send out to the salesforce to remind them of the features on one hand?
posted by Brian B. at 5:37 PM on April 16

I feel sorry for the actors.

I had to walk about Kirkintilloch park pretending to be Robert the Bruce once - I hope they got paid a lot of money and had a laugh making it.

surely this is the beginning of the end for microsoft.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:39 PM on April 16

So this is really another one of those mocking, ironic Mac ads, right?
posted by mullingitover at 5:41 PM on April 16

Thinking about it , i would have preferred some laibach impersonators commanding us that we had no choice but to take vista - vista ist vista or something.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:43 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]

1) Don't feel sorry for the actors. They were paid well.
2) I'm going back to the debate. Georgie is rambling on about "patriotism" or something. The little turncoat opportunist fuckwad must be more fun than this...
posted by Dizzy at 5:52 PM on April 16

"Stupid Internal Microsoft Vista SP1 Video"
I think the key word there is Internal. This wasn't a commercial, it was some stupid video that was probably shown at a big office meeting. Who hasn't seen a stupid video/skit at a big office meeting?

On second thought, I guess the key word really is stupid.
posted by MtDewd at 5:54 PM on April 16

I wonder what goes on in the heads of the people who come up with these things. I bet Christopher Guest wonders, too.
posted by katillathehun at 5:57 PM on April 16

It tastes like burning.
posted by darkstar at 6:07 PM on April 16

Almost cool if played with simultaneous Death Fuck Mental Beats by The Tuss/Aphex Twin. Really.
posted by meech at 6:11 PM on April 16

I work at Microsoft. I've been there for a couple of years, mostly as a full-time employee. I can't speak for anyone but myself, and should add that my discipline is "content engineering", which has not been a core discipline as long as some others. I publish assistance content. In my experience, this kind of marketing is not well-received by my colleagues. Many pay it no attention, as there is nothing for it.

Most of the people that I work with on a regular basis are very capable, extremely professional, and completely customer-focused. Microsoft is seriously invested in what the market wants. To be honest, it would not surprise me if this ad were thoroughly researched and ultimately successful, as distasteful as I personally find it. (Bruce Springsteen is a rock genius but I didn't care much for the song or the video--think "How Soon Is Now".)

No one should be surprised that Microsoft wants to sell Vista by whatever means. I work for Office, so I'm less invested in Vista's success than I might be, but I'd be stupid not to want it to succeed. That isn't why I work at Microsoft. I work at Microsoft because it gives me a chance to be helpful to about 500 million people. I genuinely care that there are people all over the place trying to be productive with software that is enormously complex, ambitious, and mutable. I want them to succeed. I happen to review their feedback (verbatim) on a daily basis. It's rather raw, but I actually get plenty of thanks between gnashings, and I value all of it, good and bad. (Okay, some of it really isn't that useful.)

I guess my point is you shouldn't judge Microsoft by this or any other advertisement alone.
posted by owhydididoit at 6:13 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

I should clarify that MS employees are considered a big part of the market for new OSes.
posted by owhydididoit at 6:14 PM on April 16

Nelson: That white guy with the hat is the Van Morrison player, who has taken the sax from the Clarence Clemons player.
And if Vista is good enough for Van the Man, then it's... it's... well, it's still not ready for me yet.
posted by CCBC at 6:15 PM on April 16

*facepalm*
posted by zenzizi at 6:27 PM on April 16

This is sad.
posted by doctor_negative at 6:33 PM on April 16

I guess my point is you shouldn't judge Microsoft by this or any other advertisement alone.

But it's so easy after viewing stuff like this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:37 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

I guess my point is you shouldn't judge Microsoft by this or any other advertisement alone.

I'm biased, admittedly, but I'll never forgive them for waving a big wad of cash in front of Robert Fripp. And for corrupting Brian Eno's creativity to make a start-up chime.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:42 PM on April 16

I guess my point is you shouldn't judge Microsoft by this or any other advertisement alone.

That's true. You should only judge Microsoft by the quality of its products and how well it supports those products, and how well it responds to the shifting needs of the marketplace and its customers.

I am a Microsoft "alum" (1993-1998), I will be forever grateful for helping me to refine my the technical and manage skills during those five years, I had to endure so many creepy, cultish, institutionalized behaviors and groupthink, that it's hard for me to look back on those days, or the company in general, very fondly.
posted by psmealey at 6:54 PM on April 16 [3 favorites]

Usually I don't mind popular music being used in advertising as long as it's fun and respectful, but this is just a pathetic failure all around.

*plays her beloved Springsteen vinyl to cleanse her ears*
posted by amyms at 6:56 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

Funny that today, as this was making the rounds, I rebooted my vista box as required by the SP1 installation, only to find that the SP1 update had wiped out my SATA drivers and I no longer had a working Vista installation. I guess that must be what they mean by "upgrade," as it forced me back to the mini running Leopard I use 95% of the time anyway.

I often joke about hating Microsoft, but this SP1 experience has made me loathe them.
posted by jburka at 6:59 PM on April 16

I often joke about hating Microsoft, but this SP1 experience has made me loathe them.

you weren't one of the lucky 500 million microsoft is helpful to, i guess
posted by pyramid termite at 7:04 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

To be honest, it would not surprise me if this ad were thoroughly researched and ultimately successful, as distasteful as I personally find it.

It's not an ad.

(Bruce Springsteen is a rock genius but I didn't care much for the song or the video--think "How Soon Is Now ".)

Uh, dude? That's not Bruce Springsteen. Okay?
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:09 PM on April 16

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! Can't take it back! So painful! Please, stab my eyes and eardrums out of my head!!! Make it go away!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Mental Wimp at 7:11 PM on April 16

you weren't one of the lucky 500 million microsoft is helpful to, i guess

You didn't read my comment very carefully.
posted by owhydididoit at 7:20 PM on April 16

Uh, dude? That's not Bruce Springsteen. Okay?

Dancing in the Dark is not a Bruce Springsteen composition?
posted by owhydididoit at 7:21 PM on April 16

This should be deleted. Bruce deserves that.
posted by caddis at 7:24 PM on April 16

Epic fail.
posted by nagunak at 7:29 PM on April 16 [2 favorites]

I guess my point is you shouldn't judge Microsoft by this or any other advertisement alone.

Practically every white collar person in the developed world is confronted for hours every day with a sound basis for judging Microsoft. We're way past the point, to the tune of hundreds if not thousands of hours a year, where a three minute video will have any effect on our opinion of Microsoft. But I'd rather watch Steve Ballmer, drenched in his own armpit sweat, huffing around the stage turning purple and coming that close to a myocardial infarction again before I'd watch the rest of this thing.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:32 PM on April 16 [4 favorites]

You didn't read my comment very carefully.

but i'm really good at math
posted by pyramid termite at 7:32 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

psmealey, I was there '92 - '97. Contracting gave me a nice "meh" attitude about the whole experience.
posted by maxwelton at 7:35 PM on April 16

I also prefer that Ballmer clip to this.
posted by owhydididoit at 7:36 PM on April 16

Yeah the Ballmer clip at least has some dopey, sweaty honesty and earnestness.

This is just the film off the top of a marketing cesspool.

(though if I find myself in a Mac v PC flamewar anytime soon, this will be my nuclear option)
posted by device55 at 8:30 PM on April 16

It's better than the repeatedly hackneyed "Mission Impossible" themes that 75% of all their other internal crap. I know. I had to work on that shit a few years back as the "creative."

And by creative I mean after 12 pitches and four months work with animators and original illustrators and a week before it's dropping, some executive you never heard of would email you that he thought we were too whacky— you know, let's not get too nutso here— and, hey, why not do some cool hi-tech riff on Tron, Mission Impossible, or "Forest Gump". HI-larious.

But. But. You guys did Mission Impossible twice already.Plus. We already shot...

I said MISSION FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! Make it happen.

Yeah. I quit.

They're getting better. I think it was year before last when they discovered riffing on Jurassic Park.
posted by tkchrist at 9:25 PM on April 16

Yeah, it's horrible for the creative, until you realize this video had a minimum budget of $250,000 for something that cost them maybe $5000 to make, and that they probably don't have to work for the rest of the year because they did this one, stupid, shitty video.

I'm happy working on the stuff I work on, but if you want to pay me six figures to do your stupid corporate Star Trek parody - shit, I'm there.
posted by fungible at 10:03 PM on April 16

Obama uses Vista?
posted by mazola at 10:08 PM on April 16

I thought that this video was pretty shitty, but I think it's pretty cool that Microsoft can afford to do such things for their internal propaganda. I work at a fairly large telecommunications company, and never see stuff like this. I think it'd be sorta neat to have custom-made videos for internal propaganda.

Also, Since I also read slashdot a fair amount, I feel like a minority when it comes to Vista. I really haven't had any problems with it. Back when I had Windows XP I used WindowBlinds to change the look of the interface, but with Vista I've actually kept the original look of it, because I simply like it.

The only driver issues I've had with Vista have to do with HP refusing to make a Vista-compatible driver for my 10 year-old scanner. And even then, I've found software that lets me use it in Vista.

My wife's and my mother's computers also run Vista, and they haven't had any issues either. It makes me wonder whether my family's computer setups are some sort of freakish accidents, to where they don't have compatibility issues with Vista.

From reading here, and especially slashdot (admittedly, a cauldron of Microsoft hatred), I can only assume that my genetic line (and of course my wife's) was somehow secretly selected to be in tune with Microsoft's secret world domination plan.
posted by agress at 10:24 PM on April 16

An unidentified video wants access to your eyes

Don't watch the video unless you are sure you know what it is or you have seen it before.

Rockin' Our Sales
Unidentified Bruce Springsteen impersonator

>CANCEL : Oh Hell no, I don't want to watch this, it sounds like bullshit

>ALLOW : MICROSOFT ROCKS HELL YEAH WOO!! SING IT!! *lighters up* FREE BIRD!!


v Details

Use Account Control to stop unauthorized corporate advertising access
posted by louche mustachio at 10:44 PM on April 16 [1 favorite]

If it comes to the point where my company had that sort of internal video propaganda, I hope I would still have enough humanity in me to one day run determined down our halls, bursting through the conference room doors swinging a great hammer to smash the face of my oppressor in a furious rain of sparks and splintering glass.

More realistically, I hope I'd demand a raise, if we're throwing away money on that sort of atrocious shit.
posted by dosterm at 10:52 PM on April 16 [5 favorites]

It's not an ad.

I see you are correct. You might surmise I have seen this clip before, and that I didn't pay much attention to it. Please excuse my ignorance on that point. I don't pay a lot of attention to the marketing, except insofar as it makes tangible promises that I must support in some way.
posted by owhydididoit at 10:54 PM on April 16

Microsoft is creating the hell that it languishes in. I wish I could relate just how awful using Microsoft shit has been for me.
posted by kuatto at 10:57 PM on April 16

Beyond anything else - Springsteen has an incredibly straightforward voice to mimic, and the "singer" who comped this piece of shit didn't even try... In fact, I heard more Elvis Costello in his performance than Bruce. Lazy fucktards.
posted by benzo8 at 12:18 AM on April 17

Dancing in the Dark is not a Bruce Springsteen composition?

It is, yes. It's a well-crafted and catchy pop tune, far from Bruce's finest work but it acquits itself well against most of what passed for Top 40 rock in the mid-80s and it redeems itself, to my mind, in the lyrics. ("I ain't nothin' but tired"? Lovely little twist on Dylan's weariness amazing him in "Mr. Tambourine Man.")

The abysmal jingle in that video, however, resembles "Dancing in the Dark" musically mostly in the sense that both were written in 4/4 time. I am trying very hard to dodge the confirmation bias built into the fact that the most vocal defender of Microsoft's corporate culture in this thread is someone who apparently thinks the song in that video is "Dancing in the Dark" or even sounds vaguely like it or indeed doesn't make someone who knows "Dancing in the Dark" well want to stab his eardrums with knitting needles. I'm failing, mostly, but I am trying.
posted by gompa at 12:26 AM on April 17

I've said it before, but Microsoft's advertising people are the most clueless, tonedeaf, counterproductive dipshits any big company in recent memory has had the poor judgement to employ. I mean I hate advertising on principle, but the worthless, brand-destroying shit these morons have been pumping out for years isn't even worth getting up a head of sarcastic steam over. 'Welcome to the Social'? 'The Wow starts now'? Really? Are you serious about this stuff? Does anybody other than me remember the asinine PowerTogether.com promotion? What in the hell can they be thinking, and can somebody slice me off a couple of the millions they're presumably being paid? I could come up with better stuff sitting on the freakin' toilet, I can guarandamntee you that.

Microsoft as a company is falling apart and, like IBM in the days of yore, releasing laughably bad products. I've been a diehard user of MS software and early adopter of MS OSes since DOS days, and after trying it for a few months, I won't touch Vista again with a goddamn 10-foot pole. It's a joke. They hate their users. They literally hate us and assume we are all thieves, even the ones who actually serially pay for their incremental, bloated shit. They don't get the internet, they don't seem to have a clue what their users actually want, they have become a fucking blight on the landscape of technology.

And this is coming from someone who's been accused of being a shill for them, privately and professionally, for decades.

I hope to hell they fire half their goddamn managers and slowly make an effort turn the SS Microsoft on to a new heading, because the iceberg is dead ahead, and millions of paying passengers are jumping ship.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:32 AM on April 17 [6 favorites]

Obvious Microsoft Shill is obvious.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 1:12 AM on April 17

Who is M-DOP? Like Snoop-DOP?
posted by oxford blue at 4:20 AM on April 17

gompa- I think the "Dancing in the Dark" reference is about the video, not the song.
The FPP even says 'faux Courtney Cox in the audience'.
but you're right about the song resemblance
posted by MtDewd at 4:25 AM on April 17

you down with m-dop? yeah, you know me
who's down with m-dop? every last homie

wait, i shouldn't do this - might give them ideas
posted by pyramid termite at 5:15 AM on April 17

Well, we've come a long way from the days of the Wuh-Wuh-Wuh-Windows 386 rap, haven't we? I'm so glad Microsoft finally realized what it so desperately needed to make itself "hip" and "with it" and other "words" in quotation marks.
posted by Spatch at 5:23 AM on April 17

I grew up down in Redmond
Where mister when you're young
They teach you how to program
And the work is never done
Now me and Bill Gates met in high school
When we was just seventeen
And he's living in a mansion
While I'm still starting at the screen

So we download the updates
And into the updates we dive
But it ain't worked out right
Since Windows 95

I got a job working debugging
And I got me some bonus stock
But lately there ain't that much work
On account of fucking Firefox
And Mac fanboys call us losers
And Linux is eating our ass
Is Vista the future of Microsoft
Or is this release our last?

Before we go

Download the updates
Install more service packs
While we watch our friends and neighbors
Buying brand new Macs

etc ad inf



Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:27 AM on April 17 [5 favorites]

(that's "staring at the screen," though "starting" has a nice ring of Windoze truth to it)
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:28 AM on April 17

pyramid termite: it all depends on what ideas you give them...

M-DOP, bap-ba M-DOP
        doobie da ba do ba
M-DOP, bap-ba M-DOP

(I used to work for a manager who thought the Nike Principle ('Just do it'!) was a valid basic management principle. From this, and the fact that the average manager's idea of an inspirational song is something by Queen (or, at a pinch, Bowie with Queen)*, I extrapolate that riffing on Hanson for internal PR purposes won't be too far away...)

((* I once got an internal PR swag from my employer which included a promotional CD for the 2000 Olympics full of songs by local bands. With prominent lyrics like "Too late everybody / we're on our way to nowhere", and "We waste more time each day / but everything's OK", and "Saps your patience, threatens everything I do", and "You'd better run, baby, run, better move on it / everybody gets out before they get hit", they weren't telling us anything we hadn't already worked out...))
posted by Pinback at 6:21 AM on April 17

I work at Microsoft because it gives me a chance to be helpful to about 500 million people. I genuinely care that there are people all over the place trying to be productive with software that is enormously complex, ambitious, and mutable. I want them to succeed. I happen to review their feedback (verbatim) on a daily basis. It's rather raw, but I actually get plenty of thanks between gnashings, and I value all of it, good and bad.




and for my next impression, MOTHER TERESA !
posted by sgt.serenity at 6:39 AM on April 17

I don't see how anyone can look at that video and think that it's intended unironically. Of course, I'll be starting employment at Microsoft in three weeks, so maybe I'm just telling myself what I need to hear in order to keep from running out of the room screaming...
posted by Slothrup at 6:53 AM on April 17

Maybe fake Bruce will endorse McCain, or Hillary?
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:24 AM on April 17

Maybe fake Bruce will endorse McCain, or Hillary?

Nah, fake Bruce is a Romney man all the way. Trims the hedges on his summer place, I hear.
posted by gompa at 7:46 AM on April 17

I don't see how anyone can look at that video and think that it's intended unironically.

It may have been intended ironically for the people who made it... but only because they knew it would work. Really, if you're working in corporate videos, usually the shittiest idea is the one that will please the client.

For instance, if you're ever looking for music for your corporate video, and you've got some great ideas, or your friend's a composer - STOP. There's only one thing you need to know:

Coldplay. "Clocks."

Don't question it, just use it. That is all.
posted by fungible at 8:18 AM on April 17 [1 favorite]

Make the logo bigger.
posted by erniepan at 12:06 PM on April 17

I'm happy working on the stuff I work on, but if you want to pay me six figures to do your stupid corporate Star Trek parody - shit, I'm there.

Porn pays better. You should start there.
posted by tkchrist at 2:14 PM on April 17