Boring men?
June 19, 2008 7:20 AM   Subscribe

Are men boring?
posted by djgh (163 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
I am. (sample size: 1)
posted by everichon at 7:22 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Me, too. (Sorry)
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:23 AM on June 19, 2008


Duh -- why do you think they need girlfriends?
posted by LordSludge at 7:23 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Of course we are.
posted by oddman at 7:26 AM on June 19, 2008


Are men boring? A straw poll among friends and relations

FAIL.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:27 AM on June 19, 2008 [18 favorites]


Zzzzz.

Um, what?
posted by jonmc at 7:27 AM on June 19, 2008


Do women prattle on incessantly?
posted by tkolar at 7:29 AM on June 19, 2008 [17 favorites]


ARE MEN BORING?

WOMEN THINK SO


There you go. No need to RTFA any further.
posted by Kabanos at 7:31 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


See also.
posted by shadow vector at 7:31 AM on June 19, 2008


Article summary: Only talkative people are interesting. And wimmin sure talk a lot AMIRITE??
posted by DU at 7:31 AM on June 19, 2008 [11 favorites]


also, this is a stupid article.
posted by jonmc at 7:31 AM on June 19, 2008


Not when they're in my mouth they're not.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:32 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


The more macho a man is, the more boring he can be--that's why gay men are generally better company.

Because gay guys are always effeminate. Note to the author: men aren't boring, yiu and your friends are simply insufferable.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 AM on June 19, 2008 [7 favorites]


Do female writers regurgitate junk science?
posted by grobstein at 7:37 AM on June 19, 2008


Oh, that's also boring, WolfDaddy.
Boring for fun.
posted by Floydd at 7:38 AM on June 19, 2008


I bore my self...
posted by dov3 at 7:39 AM on June 19, 2008


Anyone make it to the end of the article without falling asleep? Anything interesting in there?
posted by justkevin at 7:40 AM on June 19, 2008


This is the most accurate thing in the article:

"The most boring thing", I airily said to the psychotherapist Jock Encombe, "is arrogance, isn't it?"
"And what", he replied, "could be more arrogant than accusing other people of being boring?"


But this is unbelievable:

I have only once sat next to a man who wouldn't speak to me at all. I said, ‘You're being extraordinarily rude. If you want to change places, so would I.' He looked appalled. He said, ‘I'm so sorry, I've got a big deal coming up.' And after that everything was fine.

I would have changed places in a heartbeat.
posted by chococat at 7:40 AM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


Perhaps her problem is that she simply attracts boring people into her social circle.
posted by delmoi at 7:40 AM on June 19, 2008 [5 favorites]


Anyone else see the followup?
posted by grobstein at 7:41 AM on June 19, 2008


She's got it wrong. People who talk about their jobs are boring. I don't care if you pilot Air Force One while juggling fire and getting hummers from a series of twenty-five increasingly attractive women who are wearing increasingly-crispy bacon bras, I don't want to hear about it.

Also, this article is rubbish.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:41 AM on June 19, 2008 [5 favorites]


No, but they are more funny than women.
posted by gagglezoomer at 7:41 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


This post is awesome. Hey, speaking of men, HOW IS BABBY FORMED?

Hey you know what to do when you don't want someone to come near you on the sidewalk? Expand body showing dominate. That'll learn 'em.
posted by Mister_A at 7:44 AM on June 19, 2008


Since I'm a woman, it's hard to stop talking long enough to read this whole article. What page is the part that explains how much men love to barbecue?
posted by iconomy at 7:44 AM on June 19, 2008 [9 favorites]


djgh:

Are English men boring?

There... fixed that for you....

/insufferable American bore boor.
posted by Debaser626 at 7:44 AM on June 19, 2008


Like attracts like, I guess.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2008


In Brighton, my friend Esme Jones, 38, who has just had a baby, spent a precious night out with her husband, a film editor, and said she kept nagging him to talk. "If I'd been with you or another girlfriend, even if we'd seen each other earlier in the day, we'd have been gabbling away 19 to the dozen."

I've just discovered that some women think men are boring because they think nagging is an effective way to encourage dialogue.
posted by Plutor at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2008 [10 favorites]


I can't think of anything to say about this
posted by Mick at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Modern women seem to obsess about relationships, engaging in endless, wine-fuelled dissections of their love lives, often including appallingly vivid assessments of their partner's sexual performance, or lack of it."

""A man will talk about having a good shag the night before, but keep it general," says Richard, who's in his late thirties and lives in London."
posted by plexi at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2008


Are Asians smart? Are Poles stupid? Are short people power-mad? Are jews greedy? Are blondes ditzy? Do red heads have the fire down below? Do movies suck nowadays? Are cheerleaders sluts? Do mares eat oats and goats eat oats and little lambs eat ivy? Does a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Do hipsters smell? What is the meaning of life?
posted by spicynuts at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2008 [19 favorites]


The follow up article is equally insipid: http://www.moreintelligentlife.com/story/yes-we-are-a-bit-boring
posted by device55 at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2008


if you pilot Air Force One while juggling fire and getting hummers from a series of twenty-five increasingly attractive women who are wearing increasingly-crispy bacon bras, I don't want to hear about it.

I have to admit I sort of *would* want to hear about it. The logistics of crispy bacon bras if nothing else.
posted by tkolar at 7:52 AM on June 19, 2008


"Are men boring? "

These men are.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:53 AM on June 19, 2008 [22 favorites]


And women wonder why men cheat?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:53 AM on June 19, 2008


I can't think of anything to say about this

*repeatedly pinches Mick's arm and elbows him in the ribs until he thinks of something interesting to say*

Just doing my womanly duties. You'll thank me later.
posted by iconomy at 7:53 AM on June 19, 2008


""Of course men are boring," said Maeve Pollard, 48, who cuts my dog's hair in south London"

This article is INSANE.

I like to believe I'm doing my bit to address the stereotype of a silent, cryptic male by being a socially inept female who likes to talk about board games. Keep 'em guessing.
posted by eponymouse at 7:54 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Huh, were you saying something dear?
posted by octothorpe at 7:55 AM on June 19, 2008


I prefer to call it "predictably reliable".
posted by tommasz at 7:57 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


*repeatedly pinches Mick's arm and elbows him in the ribs until he thinks of something interesting to say*

would 'OW! Knock it off!" qualify as interesting? (also, I'm developing a crush on the girl who plays Flo the Cashier in those progressive insuarance ads. Anyone else or is that just me?)
posted by jonmc at 7:58 AM on June 19, 2008


Why would a man show any interest in a woman who is no longer of child-bearing age? What possible purpose could such interest serve? Natter on to each other you old hens and leave us alone.
posted by ND¢ at 8:00 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


This article is from something called Intelligent Life magazine. I think it says somewhere in the fine print that Intelligent Life is published by the Ministry of Truth.
posted by Drastic at 8:00 AM on June 19, 2008


Are men boring?

Yes. They are boring into the orifices of your loved ones as you read this.
posted by flarbuse at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2008 [12 favorites]


But are they taught to be boring at elitist Ivy League schools? Or is it something they already had?
posted by Comrade_robot at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Are men boning?

They damn well should be!
posted by Avenger at 8:01 AM on June 19, 2008


would 'OW! Knock it off!" qualify as interesting?

No. If you were gay you would have thought of something better.
posted by iconomy at 8:03 AM on June 19, 2008


jonmc: "*repeatedly pinches Mick's arm and elbows him in the ribs until he thinks of something interesting to say*

would 'OW! Knock it off!" qualify as interesting? (also, I'm developing a crush on the girl who plays Flo the Cashier in those progressive insuarance ads. Anyone else or is that just me?)
"

Yes. Her name is Stephanie Courtney and she's pretty great.
posted by Science! at 8:05 AM on June 19, 2008


Pandagon had a good take on this article.
posted by transona5 at 8:07 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


The following is all very broadly speaking, and has nothing to do with individuals:

Under optimal conditions a man can procreate in fifteen minutes, several times a day, and then move on without expending further resources on their progeny. The more women they procreate with, the more successful their genes are.

Under optimal conditions a woman can procreate at best every nine months, with a guaranteed massive resource expenditure (pregnancy), medium-term reduction in resource acquiring capability, and a non-zero chance of death. The better the singular male they breed with and retain the exclusive attention of throughout and after pregnancy, the more successful their genes are.

It is in the genetic interests of men to rank themselves against other men and exclude the competition from breeding with the entire pool of available women. It is in the genetic interests of women to rank the men, breed with the best, and exclude competing women from securing the primary, exclusive attention of the best man.

Men are competing with each other for access to as many females as possible. Women are competing with each other for the exclusive attention of the best male.

Gross differences in conversational patterns seem like a likely end-product of this disparity in goals. These differences probably loosely correspond to conventional wisdom regarding gender-based differences in conversational patterns.

Also of note, although I don't think it really plays a factor here: the Y chromosome reproduces asexually - women don't carry one. Any male that does not have a son is failing to reproduce a very small but non-zero percentage of his DNA. This is probably socially expressed as the preference within many cultures for male children, and male bias of hereditary laws throughout the majority of history.
posted by Ryvar at 8:09 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Having exhausted all seemingly obvious locations, the search for more intelligent life continues.
posted by The White Hat at 8:11 AM on June 19, 2008


Women are boring. Men think so, but keep quiet about it ;)
posted by samsara at 8:12 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Everybody fails to reproduce a small but non-zero percentage of their DNA. People sure like saying 'non-zero' a lot.
posted by Science! at 8:13 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


No. Men are not boring. This article (what I read of it) is both appalling and boring, which is not a common combination.
posted by rainbaby at 8:14 AM on June 19, 2008


I got to the part quoting Deborah Tannen and had to go stop to read John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus to balance out the world.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:14 AM on June 19, 2008


Some years ago at a party my wife and I ran into a mutual old friend. We three talked for a few minutes, and the friend said, "Mrs. Timewaster, I hope you'll excuse me, but I'm about to say something really boring. Fantabulous, have you [complicated question about computers]"

"Oh!" I said. "I've been trying to get that to work, but [intriguing set of problems]"

My wife wandered off and found someone else to chatter with.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 8:14 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


People sure like saying 'non-zero' a lot.

Except, of course, for the non-zero percentage of the population who don't.

In any case, I'm boring, I was born boring, and I'll die boring. Feel free to ask me for any information you may want or need, but I'm not your goddamn entertainment committee.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:16 AM on June 19, 2008 [8 favorites]


I guess Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! LOL!

The problem is that the women quoted in the article, who are quite obviously insufferable hens, confuse men's conversation filters with being boring. But these women would never want to have the conversation that would ensue if men simply said what was on their minds. For example:

F: My God, you're so boring!

M: What?

F: Boring! You never talk. Can't we have a normal conversation? About anything? Just tell me what's on your mind now?

M: Right now? Okay. See those women at that table?

F: Yes...

M: Do you think I could bang them all at once?

F: What?!

M: I don't mean do you think its physically possible-

F: What?!

M: I mean, do you think there's a social context that I could construct where those four women would happily participate in a 4-on-1 situation with me. Because they're friends and maybe it would get weird for them. So I'd have to bang them all in a way that wasn't weird. Maybe if I called it a party, or if I nailed them in turns-

F: What?!

M: I could be fair, you know, start with the shortest one or the thinnest and work may through them systematically. So no one's feelings get hurt. My boss is a fucking asshole, by the way.

F: Wha...your boss.. what?

M: My boss. Christing fuck, what a cunt he is. He was standing by the elevators the other day, man, I could have shot him right in the chest. Look, that girl jogging has a sweaty midriff.

F: What?

M: Shoot him, like with a gun. Check this out. They have this thing called the 2+1 drill. I wonder what her sweat tastes like...

F: ...oh god...

M: So 2+1 drill, where you shoot someone twice in the chest and then in the head. That's how I'd shoot a guy. Very special force. Yeah, I'd definitely nail the short one first. Maybe I'd line them up on a couch, less intimidating then the bedroom. It'd be like I'm a handyman on a service call, just going down the line.

F: *sobs*

M: This is a good conversation. Oh, man, that brunette is licking her fingers. Hey, you could hold her down while I bang her, that'd be hot. You'd let me bang them without a condom, right? We should thank your parents for babysitting.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:21 AM on June 19, 2008 [779 favorites]


I don't know why we have to narrow it down at all.

Further, and maybe it's a theme today, the solution is to read more and watch less Project Runway or professional atheletics.

I've never met a boring person. It really only takes one to make an interesting conversation. Seriously. Only the boring find others so.
posted by ewkpates at 8:21 AM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


Pastabagel wins. That should required reading for all.
posted by spicynuts at 8:25 AM on June 19, 2008


the solution is to read more and watch less Project Runway or professional atheletics.

This could be the most tired, boring, ridiculous, vapid statement ever. Seriously. What if I read a book about professional athletics or a biography of Bill Blass? What if I read a book on how to make my own suit? What if I read a Hemingway book about bull fighting? What if I read a Bukowski poem about boxers? Come on..get off your high horse.
posted by spicynuts at 8:28 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Mrs. Everichon will often start a conversation with: "Why aren't you talking?". Then I have to get off The Rides (as a fellow line cook used to call woolgathering) and bumble out some inane non sequitur that hopefully bears some resemblance to engaged conversation. Usually, though, it just irritates my wife. These episodes rarely go well.
posted by everichon at 8:31 AM on June 19, 2008


I prefer the moniker Mozambique to 2+1. It just has a certain flavor.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:31 AM on June 19, 2008


Is Pastabagel Mil Millington?
posted by uncleozzy at 8:37 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Google says that 2+1 = 3.
posted by everichon at 8:37 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


"If you're bored then you're boring." - Harvey Danger
posted by jimmythefish at 8:38 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Do mares eat oats and goats eat oats and little lambs eat ivy?

What a completely ridiculous analogy.

Anyone will tell you that goats, in that situation, would not eat oats.
Does, however, would eat those oats.
posted by chococat at 8:40 AM on June 19, 2008


GOATIST!!
posted by spicynuts at 8:45 AM on June 19, 2008


I was under the impression that goats'll eat just about anything. To be fair, if it's properly made (Cuban or Jamaican style), I will eat goat.
posted by jonmc at 8:45 AM on June 19, 2008


Heterosexual men with macho leanings are the opposite of women who are happy to divulge the downsides of their life or job, the moans, the insecurities. You bond with people when they admit their vulnerabilities. Self-doubt is interesting

Considering that Durrant uses the whole article to chastise men for being self-absorbed — even going as far as arguing the point on biological, social and environmental grounds — I find this quote quite revealing.
posted by Weebot at 8:49 AM on June 19, 2008


Does this lady think she's entitled to have a conversation with the stranger she's sitting next to on a plane? She's lucky she didn't sit next to my grumpy, mean, homo ass. I would have let her change seats and relieved her of her elevated notion of herself in one swift motion. I suppose she'd have felt violated yet secretly excited by my "frisson", which both feelings smell like poop wrapped in pantyhose. Which is a pretty fitting epithet for this cow.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:53 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


When they have a drill bit, yes.
posted by WCityMike at 8:55 AM on June 19, 2008


I prefer the moniker Mozambique to 2+1. It just has a certain flavor.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:31 AM on June 19


Yeah, but 2+1 sounds so mathematical, you know? Like you're being really precise about shooting a guy. Because it's business, not personal. 'Mozambique' sounds like you're scrambling through the mud all sweaty and gross trying to get away from enraged tribesmen.

By the way, I've never once had a conversation about the 2+1 drill with a woman, ever. Something to think about, ladies. Life isn't all crochet, appointment calendars, and what's for dinner. There are some motherfuckers that need to be squarely put down, and sometimes you've got to work that shit out all organized-like ahead of time. Preferably during one of your unwatchable TV shows.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:55 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


my grumpy, mean, homo ass.

The abandoned sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
posted by jonmc at 8:55 AM on June 19, 2008 [5 favorites]


Goats are delicious, it's true, but their capacity to eat a wide variety of objects is vastly overrated, at least in my experience.

As for the article, well, I guess I'm boring to anyone I don't share interests with. But I don't give a shit about entertaining them anyway.
posted by Caduceus at 9:01 AM on June 19, 2008


Mrs. Everichon will often start a conversation with: "Why aren't you talking?".

I've found that answering with "Why are you?" usually nips that sort of thing in the bud toot sweet. Protective equipment optional.

Published on MoreIntelligentLife.com Goofy Dross That Wasn't Worth A Sheet Of Glossy
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:05 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Occasionally, I speak my mind around my wife. I walked through the door after work the other day, and she said

"Hi!"

I said

"Greetings!"

She said "What?"

I said "Greetings in he name of His Majesty, Emperor Haile Selassie I! Jah! Ras Tafari!"

She said "What?"

I said "Sorry, been listening to Marley, again." That was about the whole conversation.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:07 AM on June 19, 2008 [18 favorites]


"If you're bored then you're boring."

I always hated that. Maybe I'm bored because I read books and watched movies where aliens fought with humans wearing gigantic metal exoskeletons in the far reaches of space. I dreamed up alternate realities with multiple gradient suns on the horizon. Then found much joy in discovering just how amazing nature is, back when you were allowed to spend hours just looking around at ants on the ground, or grasshoppers, or worms.

Now I'm an adult stuck in line waiting for a bagel or a sandwich at the store, or crunching endless piles of words and data. Surprise surprise, I'm bored.
posted by cashman at 9:11 AM on June 19, 2008 [38 favorites]


To be fair, if it's properly made (Cuban or Jamaican style), I will eat goat.

Not to belabor this boring point - you should try Pakistani style. May I suggest the Pakistani cabbie lunch counter next to the Housing Works bookstore across from Puck Fair between Houston and Prince?

I assure you, it is extremely boringly flavored. You should be pleasantly bored.
posted by spicynuts at 9:15 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


What an offensive, stupid article.

Is this my cue to write the counterpoint article:

"Are Women Boring?: A majority of self-involved, oblivious women would be dumbstruck to discover that 75% or more of the men who interact with them and find them funny or interesting are only interested in fucking them."

Seriously, the author seems struck with the idea that the world's rotational axis is so squarely fixed on her own position that she can't possibly fathom that people have better things to do than give her constant validation and attention? Holy shit, shut the fuck up until you have something to say.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:17 AM on June 19, 2008 [12 favorites]


What an offensive, stupid article.

Is this my cue to write the counterpoint article:

"Are Women Boring?: A majority of self-involved, oblivious women would be dumbstruck to discover that 75% or more of the men who interact with them and find them funny or interesting are only interested in fucking them."


The original article is NOT some kind of feminist attack on men. It is a sneaky evo-psych just-so story about how women are caring and empathetic and should be doing all the emotional work in conversations, while men are "systematizers." And of course it contains a section arguing that the most interesting men are way more interesting than the most interesting women.
posted by transona5 at 9:25 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


I tried to read that, but it was all like mew-mew-mew-mew-mew. What the fuck ever. Is there a version with pictures?

...sexy pictures?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:27 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Meine Gute, anyone who thinks that heterosexual men are less able than anyone else to 'gabble away 19 to the dozen' needs to visit Metafilter pronto.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 9:30 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Reading this article was like eating a big bowl of dry, boring rice because you're hungry and desperate with no food or condiments in the fridge and no money to buy better-tasting food and you're just struuuuuggling to get it down your throat because it's so dry but you're hungry so you just gotta finish it and then you're getting close to the end and there's only really three bites left but you just can't finish it because your mouth is so parched from a lack of flavour and your tastebuds are suffering from an existentialist crisis and you stare down at your fork and marvel in shock at how much bland rice you've eaten.

I started reading because I wanted to know if she found any real evidence of the gender differences, but I just could not continue for the life of me. Phew, I'm exhausted. Imagine having a conversation with this lady, it'd be like conversing with one of those cracked-out Gilmore Girls.

"Men are like this! Women are like that! Here's a bunch of anecdotal quotes from gender-generalizing professionals! It's the only pseudo proof I have for my ill-conceived argument and look how witty and wonderful my conversations with people are! Bwahahahahahaaaaaaa!"
posted by Menomena at 9:30 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


So talking contantly means you aren't boring? I beg to differ. The ladies at the gym on the treadmill next to me talked for the full 45 minutes I was there. (They were talking loud enough that to drown them out, I would have had to turn the volume on my music loud enough to do permanent damage.) Were they talking about fantastically fascinating things like how light is a particle AND a wave? Kant's Moral Philosophies? No. They were talking about such mindless drivel that a conversation about the weather would have been more scintillating. They were chatty, but most definitely boring (to me. And that's what most of this comes down to. I'm sure if I had started having a discussion with them about physics, they would have gone home and told their families about this boring nerdy girl next to them at the gym.)
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 9:38 AM on June 19, 2008 [6 favorites]


More anecdata, since we're here: If you see a recumbent bike out on the street, it is overwhelmingly likely that it is a man riding it, rather than a woman. Why is that?

Matt?
posted by everichon at 9:40 AM on June 19, 2008


*moves to California and marries Pastabagel*
posted by Mister_A at 9:44 AM on June 19, 2008


Terrible. I'm sorry this upper-class (I'm assuming she's British) woman is unhappy with her social circle. I'm reminded of something my mom told me: "Only boring get bored."
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:47 AM on June 19, 2008


So now I am expected to talk to my plumber and random women? How will I ever get any work done?
posted by genefinder at 9:48 AM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


Except my mother would phrase it as "Only boring people get bored."
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:48 AM on June 19, 2008


everichon, two days ago I saw a woman loading a recumbent into her car at the Performance Bike shop in Philly. Well sort of loading. There was still a lot of 'bent sticking out of the trunk. She was an African-American woman. This was the only recumbent bike I saw that day. I think I've pretty soundly defeated your implied hypothesis re: dudes and recumbents.
posted by Mister_A at 9:49 AM on June 19, 2008


two days ago I saw a woman loading a recumbent into her car

Awesome! I will remain vigilant, myself.
posted by everichon at 9:55 AM on June 19, 2008


I will post new data here as they become available, ev.
posted by Mister_A at 9:56 AM on June 19, 2008


The premise of the article, as I understand it, is that men are boring and women are interesting.

So... Half credit?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:57 AM on June 19, 2008


I like rice.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:57 AM on June 19, 2008


Hey where's jessamyn? She's a woman, maybe she can clear this up for us AND THEN CLOSE THIS DUMB-ASS THREAD.
posted by Mister_A at 10:00 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


I generally have a hard time getting the men I know to shut up.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:01 AM on June 19, 2008


For those of you who don't like the phrase "2+1 drill", in the US DoD we call it a "failure drill". As in, failure-to-stop-target-by-shooting-him-in-the-body.

Also, pastabagel, that was the most relevant and true thing I have read in several days, at least. Talk about hitting close to home.
posted by crunch buttsteak at 10:03 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


I went on a double date once. The other couple were good friends of my ladyfriend-at-the-time, so the three of them chatted non-stop with little-to-know openings for me to interject much of anything. Now, I'm naturally a rather shy person who gets uncomfortable around people pretty easily, so, by the end of the evening, I didn't really have much to offer by way of conversation. After a couple hours, her friends decided to head off to a club.

On the ride home, she accused me of being boring to the point of making her friends feel uncomfortable, thus resulting in their decision to leave.

I should have left that relationship a lot sooner than I actually did.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:03 AM on June 19, 2008 [5 favorites]


For those of you who don't like the phrase "2+1 drill", in the US DoD we call it a "failure drill".

Now that's just bad branding. It'd market better as "win drill" or "badass drill."

Also, indeed Pastabagel's hypothetical conversation is the sound that truth makes when it is said. All you non-boring ladies might think he's exaggerating for comic effect. I tell you, he is not.
posted by Drastic at 10:06 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Now that's just bad branding. It'd market better as "win drill" or "badass drill."

You're right, there. The cooler sounding one is the "hammer pair" (shooting the same spot twice, quickly).
posted by crunch buttsteak at 10:16 AM on June 19, 2008


If I were asked to explain quantum chromo-dynamics to a child I, well for one I'd be lying a lot, but also I would certainly bore them. But would it reflect negatively upon me or simply be a product of the child's expected ignorance on the topic? More generally should the perception of boring be placed upon the accused or the accuser? To hear someone wax on about trite domestic issues facing them, or perhaps a detailed explanation of recent personal business transactions would be considered boring by most people, I suspect. And yet to hear about one's trek through Europe (from the american perspective) or one's litany of music interests would probably weigh more towards the non-boring. Yet from a personal perspective we gain probably more useful knowledge out of other's personal issues in day to day life than about their travels or musical interests.

On to the gender issue, when the stereotypical male speaks about perhaps cars or projects around the house, buried in each is a piece of information to use, whether it is further knowledge of how to fix the vehicle, the specs on the newest model, what way worked/didn't work for solving the home repair needed. Not quite as true for sports though I suspect this is more a micro military strategy replacement going on with sports. These concerns are only going to be of interest to women performing these tasks and needing this type of information but so long as there's still a divide in tasks the type of tasks/hobbies chances are less women than men will find such talk interesting. In return, speaking of one's relationships, speaking of fashion likely contains useful tidbits to the fellow women surrounding but little to men who are unlikely to find such talk interesting.

And then of course, any deeper commentary on life, on the sciences, deeply intricate professional knowledge, etc...are all going to be boring to the prole who spends their days engaged in work, tending to the family, to the bills, then spending the few remaining hours relaxing in front of the TV. Our current political climate is dependent upon intellectual inquiry remaining boring.

The additional factor of talking versus not talking, well few times do we have the fortune of entering a social situation with knowledge that how we are perceived at the end is likely to impact our lives in any meaningful way. So when engaging in dialog with someone who isn't going to agree with you or be interested in what you have to say could often be worse than not engaging at all. For instance in the example in the article where the woman asked if she'd like to stop for coffee, it's not a foregone conclusion that the man did not understand that meant she wanted to stop. It's possible he had good reason (or bad reason) to simply not want to engage in that. Perhaps past experience had led him to understand that saying "not really, do you?" meant he would be stopping and be delayed an hour from destination. Or perhaps he's just a jackass who doesn't really give a shit about the others in the vehicle so long as he's driving. In the least it does not demonstrate in any meaningful way boring vs. not boring.
posted by kigpig at 10:17 AM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


Wait, no one thinks she's just taking the piss in this article? That's it's a parody of garbage like Christopher Hitchens' Why Women Aren't Funny? How could you read a line like:

A straw poll among friends and relations would suggest the contention is so irrefutable that evidence is barely necessary.

...and not think it's a joke?
posted by turaho at 10:19 AM on June 19, 2008


Wow ... that was really stupid - did someone pay her to write that? seriously?

That said, I was reminded of a pretty telling moment at a party I attended recently. It was an end-of-the-semester dance party, right? So there was music and a strobe light going, and we were all having a good time. The girls kept slipping off a few at a time to drink from a bottle of booze one of them had hidden in a back room.

At one point, a combination of girls shot-sneaking, taking bathroom breaks and stepping out for cigarettes left nothing but dudes dancing in the living room. We were all pretty sauced, so it took a second, but after about half a song, someone noticed.

He shouted, "Hey, there's no girls!" or something like that. And we all just stopped. We quit dancing and just kinda looked around at each other in the flashing strobe. The music was playing load as ever, but really, without girls around, what was the point?
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:23 AM on June 19, 2008 [20 favorites]


Anyone make it to the end of the article without falling asleep? Anything interesting in there?

Nah, tl;dr

I enjoyed Simon Baron-Cohen a lot more in Borat.

Though it did take a while for me to realize that when she asks "Are you thirsty?", she's saying "I'm thirsty; please get me a drink, and you know what I like". Not better or worse, just indirect.
posted by kurumi at 10:29 AM on June 19, 2008


I would like an audiobook of Jimmy McNulty reading Pastabagel's exchange above, please. Because that's what I heard in my head when I read it.
posted by middleclasstool at 10:42 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Do female writers regurgitate junk science?

When this article started talking about neuroscience, I Ctrl-F'd for "Brizendine," saw a quote from The Female Brain, and hit the road.
posted by decagon at 10:43 AM on June 19, 2008


Honestly, this being nice and never stating outright that you want something and tiptoeing around other people's feelings crap that is apparently culturally expected of women just gets really fucking annoying, and I'm sure it's even more so to the people on the receiving end.

"Do you want a coffee?"
"Nah."
"Well, I do, so would you mind pulling over at the next stop?"

How hard is that? Why back down from getting the coffee you want just because you're afraid the other person won't want one?

(Barring things like running late for something you really need to get to, of course, but still, folks: communication, DO YOU SPEAK IT?)
posted by casarkos at 10:45 AM on June 19, 2008 [6 favorites]


...Natter on to each other you old hens and leave us alone...
...the women quoted in the article, who are quite obviously insufferable hens...
...Which is a pretty fitting epithet for this cow...
...I tried to read that, but it was all like mew-mew-mew-mew-mew...


Keep 'em comin', folks! I expect a full barnyard by the end of the day.
posted by dyoneo at 10:50 AM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Now I want a t-shirt that reads:

Communication - I speak it.
posted by elwoodwiles at 10:52 AM on June 19, 2008 [6 favorites]


In Brighton, my friend Esme Jones, 38, who has just had a baby, spent a precious night out with her husband, a film editor, and said she kept nagging him to talk. "If I'd been with you or another girlfriend, even if we'd seen each other earlier in the day, we'd have been gabbling away 19 to the dozen."

As a fellow editor, I would like to point out that nine times out of ten we spend our entire day speaking with pictures and not with our mouths. At some point, we may say to somebody "So I figured that right here we could use this other shot because it doesn't diminish the tension between these two characters by pulling too far away." Then someone responds with "let me see it with the other shot again?" and you do it and continue speaking through pictures until you go home. if, upon returning home, our cake-holes aren't quite up to the task at first, it's because most of the time we only use it as someplace to put cake.
posted by shmegegge at 10:55 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Not better or worse, just indirect.

You know, I'm going to cast my vote for worse.
posted by adamdschneider at 10:55 AM on June 19, 2008


How many people have been around men that could not shut the hell up, having this irrational compulsion to share every tiny little thought pinging around in their hollow heads?

It's still boring, an endless stream of inane chatter for no other reason than to drown out the silence. But, I do admit, coming up with interesting ways to shut them up is somewhat entertaining.
posted by Talanvor at 11:02 AM on June 19, 2008


Though it did take a while for me to realize that when she asks "Are you thirsty?", she's saying "I'm thirsty; please get me a drink, and you know what I like". Not better or worse, just indirect.

Oh. My. God. My mom does this all the time. She never asks for anything directly - I've learned to interpret what she wants by what she asks me. It's exhausting. It also seems to be a bit of a power trip, because you have to work so damn hard to figure out what she wants that she ends up the center of attention. Because of this, I always try to be direct about what I want - it's only fair.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:07 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Are men boring?

I like to rappel out of exploding buildings while firing machine guns in both hands at the undead pirate kitten-eating monsters from the distant future. So yeah, I don't really have a lot to talk about at parties. I usually just stand by myself in the corner.

uncleozzy : ...and getting hummers from a series of twenty-five increasingly attractive women who are wearing increasingly-crispy bacon bras, I don't want to hear about it.

I could stand to hear a bit more.
posted by quin at 11:09 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


two days ago I saw a woman loading a recumbent into her car at the Performance Bike shop in Philly

She was probably just grudgingly picking it up for her husband.
posted by Who_Am_I at 11:16 AM on June 19, 2008


Keep 'em comin', folks! I expect a full barnyard by the end of the day.

well, we're pigs for this stuff.
posted by jonmc at 11:20 AM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


As a man, I would say yes.
I don't give a shit about your favorite sports team.
Yes, I checked out the ass on that babe.
No, I don't want a miller lite.

Yes, I have good male friends who are the exception to the rule, but they are the exception.
posted by 2sheets at 11:22 AM on June 19, 2008


I'll take that Miller Lite if he doesn't want it.
posted by ND¢ at 11:43 AM on June 19, 2008


So, as Joseph and Mary and the baby Jesus were fleeing the extermination of the first-born in Bethlehem, they pass two shepherds. When they've gone past, one shepherd turns to the other and says "Did you check out the babe on that ass?"

I don't really have that much to say about the article. It's fairly normal Philippa Page* material, which doesn't really have much relevance to the world at large. Not journalism per se, just words to separate the adverts and stop the front and back covers from bumping together.

When I was a child, and spending a lot of my days in the matriarchal society that was a housing estate, it seemed that a lot of female conversation centred around the general cluelessness of husbands. Perhaps Ms Durrant's other half has better things to do with his time than enthusiastically discuss how useless he is.

*Or her male equivalent Phil Space. See issues of Private Eye, passim.
posted by Grangousier at 11:47 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


iamkimiam, i immediately thought of that book too. And am trying to decide whether that book or this article bothers me more.

Oh wait. This article doesn't bother me. Because it's stupid.

This thread probably isn't going to close then, is it?
posted by lunit at 11:53 AM on June 19, 2008


I went to this famous musician's house once and I thought it would be fun. Trouble was, he had four television sets on because he was playing fantasy football. I'm sorry, but men who talk about work and sports and money and working out and cars bore the hell out of me. I would rather talk with women about children...but if the conversation turns to Sex and the City or makeup or home improvement projects, I just have to go out in the bushes and talk to myself.

The conversations we have on Metafilter are interesting, and I think we have more men than women talking; but both genders have interesting things to say about just about anything.

Boring people are boring, though. I'm pretty much sure about that one. I think anecdotal evidence is pretty strong here.
posted by kozad at 11:55 AM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Now that I think about the topic a bit more, I'll just add this:

It is not everyone's job to entertain everyone else.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:10 PM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


Is this thread open because everyone said, "Hell, I'm not going to bother flagging it because it's been all flagged to hell already, I betcha," but no one actually flagged it because they thought other people already did? Or are the mods on strike?
posted by Mister_A at 12:12 PM on June 19, 2008


This whole fucking thread is getting boring except for the recumbent bike babe.
posted by spicynuts at 12:18 PM on June 19, 2008


Depends on what one is looking for. One may not be able to handle the other kinds of men!
posted by m94402 at 12:19 PM on June 19, 2008


Rather than close the thread, can we just delete everything that isn't Pastabagel's (amazingly accurate) comment?
posted by bashos_frog at 1:01 PM on June 19, 2008


A couple of people in this thread have clued in: you've all been pwned. Here's the telling bit:
Simon Baron-Cohen, professor of development psychopathology at Cambridge University, argues that ...
Got it? The supposed expert behind all this crapola is Ali G's brother!
say, i wonder if women find ali g boring
posted by CCBC at 1:06 PM on June 19, 2008


Got it? The supposed expert behind all this crapola is Ali G's brother!
say, i wonder if women find ali g boring
posted by CCBC at 4:06 PM on June 19


Actually, Sacha and Simon are cousins.
posted by Pastabagel at 1:14 PM on June 19, 2008


Simon Baron-Cohen.
posted by Mister_A at 1:19 PM on June 19, 2008


say, i wonder if women find ali g boring

So help me, I initially read this as 'Wonder Woman finds Ali G boring,' and wondered if we should go fing Batgirl for a second opinion.
posted by jonmc at 1:54 PM on June 19, 2008


are the mods on strike?

No, we're all just out doing fabulously intersting things, even the MEN.

I agree though, this article was a joke. If you think your men are boring and you mind being bored, find new men. I feel like the subtext here was that men's boringness [as determined by this writer] is sort of pesky but nothing to kick someone out of bed over. In my etiquette universe this means, if you've decided to stick with boring for whatever reason you shut up about it. It's your choice. He's your husband. If you think he's boring, that reflects as badly on you as it does on him. Except you're the one complaining about it [in a very public way] and he's not.

At some level finding people boring is just a lack of imagination or social skills. Everyone is interesting at something, but some people are bad at dinner parties. I know I am.
posted by jessamyn at 2:13 PM on June 19, 2008 [9 favorites]


No, we're all just out doing fabulously intersting things, even the MEN.

Honestly, I was sitting in the dark practicing the 2+1 in Counter-Strike.
posted by cortex at 2:32 PM on June 19, 2008 [7 favorites]


Booooooooring.
posted by tkolar at 2:42 PM on June 19, 2008


Women just don't understand that we reached Peak Interesting back in the 60's. There's a very limited amount of interesting left in the world and we're not going to share it with them. It's a guy thing, amirite?
posted by joaquim at 2:50 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


The idea of boring,
To sharpen it finer,
Can be found while ignoring
The staff at a diner:
A bleached waitress, while pouring,
says, "Christ, what a whiner,"
And she nods up her mooring
To your soup's designer;
Then she slips on the flooring
And grabs the bin-liner,
Freeing up what it's storing,
Like babes out a 'giner.

The coffee tastes old,
The soup's a bit cold;
You finish and pay
"Keep the change," you might say,
(Or some other cliché)
And you go on your way,
On an elephant, back to the circus.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:57 PM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


MetaFilter? More like GabbleFilter amirite?
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:48 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


"I have only once sat next to a man who wouldn't speak to me at all. I said, ‘You're being extraordinarily rude. If you want to change places, so would I.' He looked appalled. "

Hell is an international flight with other people.
posted by Tenuki at 3:55 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


One odd thing I've noticed is that I can be standing somewhere talking to a guy about a book we've both read or something along those lines and a woman tangentially connected to one of us will come up, stand there for about a minute, and then say we're both boring nerds and wander off again.

Well I'm sorry, dear, would you prefer we talk about Grey's Anatomy instead?

...

not televisionist
posted by sonic meat machine at 4:10 PM on June 19, 2008


Hmm. This just reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode where, at the beginning of the episode (of course), a wife kills her incessantly boring husband by beating him to death with a frying pan. Nate later speculates aloud that the guy must have been abusive (see, women can never be violent, unprovoked) and David says no, says here in the police statement that she just found him "boring". Nate pauses and says you know, somehow that makes sense. They nod, knowingly.

I just remember mentally switching the sex of the killer and victim in the opening scene and trying to imagine that conversation going the same way.

But anyway, that's not really on point. Carry on.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:15 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Pandagon had a good take on this article.

Show of hands: Does anyone else ever read Amanda Marcotte's writing and wonder, about a dozen words in, what in the Blessed Name of Fuck she is talking about?

Christ. There's such a thing as second drafts, you know.
posted by hifiparasol at 4:33 PM on June 19, 2008


Everyone is interesting at something, but some people are bad at dinner parties. I know I am.

Not true! And I would know!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:44 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


That. Was. So. Stupid.
posted by Nattie at 4:54 PM on June 19, 2008


Also, how is it that when women "gabble" it's like the greatest thing in the world, but when men talk together we are determined to be "droning on"?

Oh, I get it - we're only not-boring if we talk (or, rather, listen to you prattle on) about things that interest you. You know what? Fuck that.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:01 PM on June 19, 2008 [4 favorites]


I think the problem with the article can best be summed up by these two quotes:

"I've been at work all day, let's talk lipstick."

+

"Men believe that disgorging maximum detail on abstruse topics counts as communication."
posted by Nattie at 5:09 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


I prefer the notion that women find me boring to all the other possible explanations.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 6:19 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Reading that article made me so stupid that I can't think of anything to say other than that reading that article made me so stupid that I can't think of anything to say other than that reading that article made me so stupid that I can't think of anything to say other than that reading that article made me so stupid that I can't think of anything to say other than that reading that article made me so stupid that I can't think of anything to say other than that reading that - hey, where'd she go?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:26 PM on June 19, 2008 [3 favorites]


Before, I was sad. Now I have read this thread, and I am happy. Later, I will drink beer. After that, jerk off into a tea towel. Then, I will be sad again. Thanks for nothing, Metafilter!
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:51 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


note to self: do not accept dinner invitation from turgid dahlia.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:08 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


note to Ubu: do not accept tea towels from turgid dahlia.
posted by LordSludge at 7:24 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Unless they're commemorative Charles & Di royal wedding teatowels.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:42 PM on June 19, 2008 [1 favorite]


Only the best kitsch for my reproductive mucus.
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:58 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Just remember to hide the Royal Baby ones when your police friends visit.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:21 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


This is why I don't have many women friends.

Guys talk about interesting stuff. Physics, and maths, and computers, and how car engines work, and why, and isn't traffic getting awful, and economics, and meterology, and science fiction .... and the sun just came up oh dear look at the time.

And if there's a silence, we can just sit quiety and enjoy each others' company. No pressure, no stress - and no boring nothing-talk.
posted by ysabet at 9:08 PM on June 19, 2008 [2 favorites]


Oh, is this the thread where we get to make sexist generalisations? Cool.

I think the author is just frustrated that men don't want to talk about shoes, hair or lipstick colours.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:30 AM on June 20, 2008


Truly interesting people seem boring to boring people. 無聊。
posted by Poagao at 1:47 AM on June 20, 2008 [3 favorites]


If we're so boring, why is it that women whine so much about 'oh, but he never talks to me'?

Women expect men to be something between a soap opera and an episode of Oprah. Whenever we refuse to play along and provide them with an adjunct to their consumption of daytime television, we always get labelled 'boring'.

Then they fuck off and leave us for a plumber who can only communicate in grunts, but has a body out of a Calvin Klein advertisment.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:25 AM on June 20, 2008


I'm fantastically interesting. I'm constantly being told what a fascinating talker and great listener I am by everybody in my circle of telepaths.
posted by Sparx at 5:03 AM on June 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


Then they fuck off and leave us for a plumber who can only communicate in grunts, but has a body out of a Calvin Klein advertisment.

Well, they are probably just fucking off early before we fuck off and leave them for a lithe, toned, bimbo with fantastic tits and love of fellatio. Men expect women to be something between Jenna Jameson and Mother Theresa. Whenever they refuse to play along we always label them prudes and frigid bitches.
posted by spicynuts at 8:02 AM on June 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


Well *this* has taken an ugly turn.
posted by tkolar at 8:35 AM on June 20, 2008


I don't think you need stereotypes or evolutionary biology to figure this one out.

This woman probably married a businessman or lawyer who's dull but a good provider, so she could live in London, raise 3 kids comfortably, write the occasional chick lit novel on the side, and research thin chatty articles over wine with her friends (who married equally dull guys made ever duller by their high-paying jobs.)

She could have married the Lonely Planet writer she had a fling with in Latvia, or some excitable Amnesty International activist or American palindromist/comedian, but didn't have the courage to risk relative poverty.

So now she'll have an affair with one of these creative guys, and even convince herself that it proves her superior depth and creativity compared to her husband, who is only doing everything she ever asked him to.
posted by msalt at 12:58 PM on June 20, 2008 [6 favorites]


is there a version with pictures?

...sexy pictures?


...says the man who complains about Doctor Who because the "hot" one(s) aren't on it anymore.

(hi kittens for breakfast!)

who is, incidentally, a fantastic conversationalist if you like to talk about comics and monkeys. Which I do, because I am not your typical girl-person.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:18 PM on June 20, 2008


In general, men and women find each other's preferred topics of conversation boring (I know I do). In general, men aren't bold enough to say so (I know I'm not). I can't believe that this comes as a surprise to anyone.
posted by primer_dimer at 8:27 AM on June 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


In general, men aren't bold enough to say so

Huh, and here I thought I was being polite.
posted by tkolar at 9:12 AM on June 23, 2008


As much as anything, I think any random pairing of individuals will stand a good chance of yielding people who "find each other's preferred topics of conversation boring", regardless of the genders of the random pair.

Neat fact: I do not give a goddam about sports. Please do not imagine that because we both have penises, you are actually interesting when you discuss the Yankees. Etc.

That people are lonely or bored or attracted to each other such that they end up talking doesn't have a lot to do with gender other than that there's a whole lot of straight people in the world and so there's an awful lot of normative anecdotal evidence from the M-talks-to-F camp.
posted by cortex at 9:32 AM on June 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


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