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June 27, 2008 10:28 PM   Subscribe

In the market for a new house? This one comes complete with upgraded tile, Berber carpet and a European wife.
posted by socalsamba (41 comments total)

 
It's a tragedy when you try to sell out, but you find no one wants to buy. I feel bad for the 14-year old pretty much being sold with the package deal. America in a nutshell, really.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:36 PM on June 27, 2008


From the Chicago Tribune: "...Trabosh, who changed her name in the ad to Traboscia to keep people from finding her in the phone book."
Nice work, dickheads. Also, she's not a frigging European, she's a European-loving lady who hasn't been introduced to the magic of hyphens.

American-built?
No thank you.

Insert carpets/curtains joke here.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:40 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Listing the home for a price of $0.99 with shipping costs of $500,000? Yeah, eBay won't see through that transparent attempt to avoid auction fees. It's not like they're in it to make money or anything.
posted by Justinian at 10:49 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


What's wrong with her photograph? Between the Lovecraft art post and the Indian goddess one, I can't stop feeling there's something Unspeakable happening around her right shoulder.
posted by ghost of a past number at 10:56 PM on June 27, 2008


This is just unutterably sad.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:01 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


Sounds like a slam dunk for Dmitri.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:17 PM on June 27, 2008 [4 favorites]


So is it still $.99 if I arrange local delivery?
posted by maxwelton at 11:23 PM on June 27, 2008


Is she able to stop standing like that, were she to wish to? This is potentially a deal breaker.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 11:57 PM on June 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


Does she only have that one pose, or do her arms bend as the elbows as well?
posted by davejay at 12:03 AM on June 28, 2008


Don't worry about the pose, guys, I'm sure she'd list any of her defects on the disclosure form. Of course, she'll probably spring a leak the day after closing.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:12 AM on June 28, 2008


Is she able to stop standing like that, were she to wish to? This is potentially a deal breaker.

Americans think that big tits are a feature, and think it's good to really stick your best feature out for maximum viewing... it's the same thing that makes them grin in every photo. They are simple creatures, but well intentioned and generally harmless.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:09 AM on June 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


I'm reminded of ten foot poles and their many uses.

LIKE BEATING THE UGLY OUT OF PEOPLE'S SOULS.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:13 AM on June 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


In the last photo, I believe it may be dawning on her what her future holds.
posted by maxwelton at 3:22 AM on June 28, 2008


"I'm sure she'd list any of her defects on the disclosure form. Of course, she'll probably spring a leak the day after closing."

This is why you gotta pay for an inspection. Do not skimp on this one item, people. A good ho inspection can save you hundreds of thousands down the line.
posted by Eideteker at 4:18 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


home
posted by Eideteker at 4:19 AM on June 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Plus standing with the side of your feet to the camera but turning your upper torso towards the camera is supposed to make your waist look thinner.
posted by Comrade_robot at 4:22 AM on June 28, 2008


The word "subprime" springs to mind.
posted by three blind mice at 5:06 AM on June 28, 2008 [7 favorites]


Sounds like a slam dunk for Dmitri.

I was just about link that in here! Has it already been posted to the blue, or do we all just not leave the internet often enough.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 5:37 AM on June 28, 2008


42 and 8 divorces. The tile probably needs regrouting, too.
posted by Balisong at 5:42 AM on June 28, 2008


Smart move, she is getting a little old for a stripper. Time to settle down!
posted by b1tr0t at 6:17 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Divorced for 8 years, not 8 times ...
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:36 AM on June 28, 2008


oops...
posted by Balisong at 7:18 AM on June 28, 2008


Both the foundation and the attic appear sound. This buyer is interested!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:34 AM on June 28, 2008


$500,000.99 for that house and no crown moulding in the master bedroom? Small base on the first floor? Horror! No wonder she has to include herself in the package.

Then again, I am a trim carpenter. Every living space in a house should have crown. Vaulted ceilings are a bitch though.
posted by robtf3 at 7:44 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


1. This auction will be gone by the end of the weekend because charging a $500,000 shipping fee on a 99 cent item is an instant violation of eBay's seller policies, and as a real estate agent she should be smart enough to know that.

2. She probably is smart enough to know that, and doesn't care, because she got more than her posting fee's worth in the form of the free publicity this stupid little gimmick provided.

3. The house is probably shit because if she's as clever a real estate agent as she appears to be getting her name on the news with a stunt like this she'd be able to sell a house worth the asking price.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:00 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wow, that woman wears so much makeup that I bet her walls look like she's apprenticing for the Pastel Man Group.
posted by bunnytricks at 8:39 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


If you want to live the never ending dream ...

That sounds very, very scary.
posted by c13 at 9:03 AM on June 28, 2008


I've said it before. Everything fucked up in this country comes from Florida.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:14 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


The fresh pungent scent of desperation...sad, really.
posted by konolia at 9:17 AM on June 28, 2008


This really deserves the Florida tag. Oh wait, wrong site.
posted by photoslob at 9:31 AM on June 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Well, I'm sure that Ms. Trabosh/Traboscia and her house will soon be scooped by but a very nice man driving black Fiero who owns many, many fine Nagel prints.
posted by Relay at 9:48 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was going to ask about the whole Moonlighting "we only show Deven with a soft lens" thing, and then I saw @maxwelton's link. She looks much better blurry -- you only see the desperation in high def.
posted by bpm140 at 10:06 AM on June 28, 2008


"Barbie-esque".

RUN! Run away!

(Last time I looked, Barbie was an 11-inch tall anencephalic.)
posted by Mike D at 10:28 AM on June 28, 2008


"She whips out her laptop..."

I tried that but it didn't get me true love; it got me arrested.
posted by Mike D at 10:42 AM on June 28, 2008


It isn't 2022, but you can already buy a house that comes with the "furniture".
posted by P.o.B. at 11:31 AM on June 28, 2008


Mama Trabosh: "Hey, kids! Why don't I sell my life on eBay?!"
Mini Trabosh: "Oh, mother, you don't have to do that. I told you I'll loan you the money for the sleeping pills."
Mama Trabosh: "Laugh On Line!"
Together: "HAHAHAHAHAHA."

Tune in next week when we plunge into the depths of a woman's inconsolable pain, with special guest star impersonator Bill Murney as Steve Zissou!
posted by aftermarketradio at 5:40 PM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Americans think that big tits are a feature, and think it's good to really stick your best feature out for maximum viewing... it's the same thing that makes them grin in every photo. They are simple creatures, but well intentioned and generally harmless.

I wonder if the Vietnamese feel that way? Or for that matter, Iraqis.
posted by notreally at 7:07 PM on June 28, 2008


Easy transaction!! good communication!! Only slightly damaged!!! Came in a nice box, would marry again!!! A+++++
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 7:12 PM on June 28, 2008


Single mother of two girls, ages 14 and 21

Wait, wait, wait ...

A 21-year-old is not a "girl." It almost sounds like she expects someone to support her adult daughter. But it's hard to tell where that's coming from, the reporter or the, er ... seller.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:23 PM on June 28, 2008


There's no fucking way in hell that woman is 42.
She's either lying or the Botox is making her look
10 years older.

BTW : I thought sex and slave trading was forbidden
not ony on eBay but on any trading site. Isn't it a
felony to sell yourself. How about selling a house AND
your underage kid?

WTF.
posted by liza at 9:04 PM on June 28, 2008


I just realized something. If she really did love you, wouldn't she let you come live with her for free? How come you have to pay for the house, and then let the former owner continues occupancy? "Well, because you love me, dear." Seems like a rip.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:12 AM on June 29, 2008


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