George, you old dog, you...

July 23, 2008 1:50 PM

Meet Lonesome George.George is the last known remaining Pinta Island Tortoise. That's pretty lonely. He's also, according to some, the most famous reptile in the world. via. But there's good news: George might be a dad!
posted by allkindsoftime (25 comments total)

i know he's a tortoise but he's still...
posted by kliuless at 1:56 PM on July 23, 2008

I found his son.
posted by an egg at 2:08 PM on July 23, 2008

Awww. I visited George last December... he's actually rather spry for a 90 year old tortoise.
posted by tkolar at 2:32 PM on July 23, 2008

I love this post. I had never heard of George before. Now I'll be cheering on his tortoise-y sexcapades.
posted by threeturtles at 2:33 PM on July 23, 2008

Title flagged as species-inaccurate. No, seriously, good for you, George. I'm glad to see that rare-tortoise-sex is going on.
posted by imperium at 2:43 PM on July 23, 2008

But does he attack cats?
posted by ...possums at 2:49 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Does he eat giant strawberries?
posted by m0nm0n at 2:52 PM on July 23, 2008

I guess the turtle finally went all the way down.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:53 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Awww, Georgie. Do you want your wickle tummy wubbed? Do you? Do you? Yes you do! Oh yes you do!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:55 PM on July 23, 2008

> George appears to have broken out of his solitude

fuller queues up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing "Coming out of our shells."
posted by jfuller at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2008

One US travel agency now advertises George as "the world's oldest living gay turtle".

Phew! He just barely beat out Elton John for that one!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:03 PM on July 23, 2008 [2 favorites]

George, estimated to be between 60 and 90 years old, is just now in his sexual prime...

McCain/George '08
posted by R. Mutt at 3:13 PM on July 23, 2008

George, estimated to be between 60 and 90 years old, is just now in his sexual prime

Does this mean that 60-90 years old is like teenagerhood for male tortoises? He'll live to be 1000 years old at that rate. Good for you, George!
posted by amyms at 3:25 PM on July 23, 2008

Wow, I had no idea this morning that I would read a story about tortoise ejaculate and that it would totally make my day.
posted by Skwirl at 3:26 PM on July 23, 2008

When I first heard about George I found the idea of being the last of one's species to be just unspeakably sad. Good on him for getting some tortoise nookie. Hopefully there will be babies in the future.
posted by quin at 3:32 PM on July 23, 2008

OldJokeFilter:How do tortoises make love?

IN

*unbearably long pause*

OUT

*unbearably long pause*

IN



etc.
posted by pjern at 4:15 PM on July 23, 2008 [3 favorites]

pjern, I have seen the tortoises at Audubon Zoo in New Orleans getting it on, and that's not a joke, it's an accurate description. They also huff very loudly during the INs and OUTs.
posted by localroger at 5:28 PM on July 23, 2008

We had a profile of Lonesome George in a web-only article accompanying the Fall 2006 issue of VQR. I'd never heard of the big guy, either, until we ran that article.
posted by waldo at 6:41 PM on July 23, 2008

I read that location as "Pinata Island" at first.

(how'd i get so addicted to that freeking game, anyway?)
posted by NikitaNikita at 8:32 PM on July 23, 2008

Oh, and, here's some giant tortoise sex with audio. (sorta NSFW)

And, here's a smaller tortoise with his rubber friend. (this could be awkward to watch at work too)

And, this is the first video I watched a while back which first turned me on (err...) to turtle mating videos.
(The vid title is stupid. your coworkers might give you looks.)

You can watch this tortoise at work though, cos it's fricking adorable.
posted by NikitaNikita at 8:47 PM on July 23, 2008

Metafilter: your one-stop shop for turtle-sex videos.
posted by pjern at 8:52 PM on July 23, 2008

Tortoise sex - at least the Burmese tortoise sex I once saw at the zoo where I used to work - is also accompanied by their shells grating together and occasional loud screeches. It was the only time I heard the tortoises make any noise at all, and the fastest I ever saw them move. It was still agonizing. It went on all afternoon, except for a few breaks when the male fell off and had to chase his mate into a corner again.
posted by amarie at 10:52 PM on July 23, 2008

George looks as though he's got one heck of a wicked grin going on in that photo...
posted by michlive at 4:09 AM on July 24, 2008

I visited George last summer, but there wasn't much to see. He was just sitting in his pond, retracted in his shell, pointedly ignoring the fly tortoise fillies suggestively munching grass right in front of him. If he has no interest in such fine tortoise trim, no one is to blame for his species' extinction but him.
posted by yellowbinder at 9:28 AM on July 24, 2008

I never met George, but my cousin did.

She said he was charming.
posted by ducky l'orange at 9:33 PM on July 24, 2008