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Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.
July 25, 2008 10:09 AM   Subscribe

Pssssst. Hey you. Yeah... you. Feel like some damn good hot coffee? Of course you do. Well then... here ya go.
posted by miss lynnster (36 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Do you have some cherry pie or donuts to go with that?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:12 AM on July 25, 2008


I buy my coffee beans from a little shop around the corner that's been in business since 1928... nothing has changed.... they import their own beans in big 50 kg burlap sacks and roast them on Wednesday mornings, making my entire city block smell like a little bit of heaven. The use an old ring-up cash register, don't take credit cards, you get your beans in a paper sack wrapped with twine - just like grandma bought it when she was young.

Opening a cannister just wouldn't be the same.
posted by three blind mice at 10:25 AM on July 25, 2008


Sadly the interior of the cafe they used for Twin Peaks was destroyed in a fire, so if you go there now it’s some kind of 50s diner themed décor. Cicely, Alaska is just up the road though.
posted by Artw at 10:30 AM on July 25, 2008


I buy my coffee beans from gnomes in a gnarled old hickory tree by the furthest reaches of the Magical River that has existed since before water and earth. Nothing has changed, nor shall it ever change, which is why the River is made of neither water nor earth. They summon the beans from hideous dimensions into enormous three-acre silken sheets and braise them on Friday afternoons, making all of Earth exactly like heaven all the time. The use a broken abacus with no beads, have never heard of anyone who has heard of a credit card (I get a caveman to buy the beans for me, then, as I have clearly heard of credit cards myself), you get your beans in a cardboard tube wrapped in cotton candy - just like your mother bought it when she was a baby.

Opening a cannister just wouldn't be the same.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:35 AM on July 25, 2008 [28 favorites]


Unless these coffee beans have been eaten and then excreted by David Lynch, in a fashion reminiscent of Kopi Luwak weasel coffee, it's not for me.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 10:43 AM on July 25, 2008 [8 favorites]




For the record, Coop's advice to Sheriff Truman is "Everyday give yourself a gift. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just do it."
I try my best to live by this.
posted by brevator at 10:46 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


My gift to myself is always the same.

A hand job.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:48 AM on July 25, 2008 [10 favorites]


No, no, it should be coffee beans eaten and excretred by anthropomorphic bunnies during the breaks in the shooting of their sitcom. Everything is better with bunnies, right?
posted by Iosephus at 10:57 AM on July 25, 2008


Are you reading my mind? I was just talking about my favorite Special Agent.
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:08 AM on July 25, 2008


If you're considering buying coffee of unknown age and origin based on some film director's name being on the tin, I suggest that it will be much cheaper and equally satisfying to just drink a piping hot cup or your own poo.

You may scrawl "DAVID LYNCH'S POO" on the cup if that will help.
posted by rusty at 11:09 AM on July 25, 2008


Why do people seem to think that roasting coffee smells anywhere near as good as brewing coffee? Having had a pretty decent home roasting hobby and having visited a commercial roaster, I can say that roasting coffee does not have a wonderful aroma. It smells like burning grass. In fact, freshly roasted coffee doesn't even really smell good for a couple of days. It certainly has a distinct smell, but not one that most people would associate with coffee in its more familiar form. It is not dissimilar to equating the smell of a slaughterhouse with the smell of a steak on the grill.
posted by iloveit at 11:10 AM on July 25, 2008


Ooh, I hope he sells Inland Empire merchandise next. I'm thinking Scary Fucking Clown Face Absinthe. (here, and I'd give a spoiler warning, but the word "spoiler" is meaningless for a Lynch movie.)
posted by naju at 11:10 AM on July 25, 2008


I have had this coffee. It is quite good. I hate black coffee but I had to try it straight up. I have to say it was really nice and smooth. Kudos.

I suggest buying the whole beans and not the pre-ground but, really, that's with any coffee.
posted by spec80 at 11:15 AM on July 25, 2008


What about David Lynch™ Lost Highway™ Home Surveillance Services?
posted by miss lynnster at 11:27 AM on July 25, 2008


Also: shouldn't there be a fish inside the coffee can?
posted by Iosephus at 11:32 AM on July 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm still waiting for that gum I like to come back in style.
posted by turaho at 11:37 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


I get my coffee in a bright blue bag. I think it is french roast, but I am not sure as the package is in Finnish.

I buy the blue one even though its coffee can burn through most organic materials and etch glass if it sustains prolonged exposure.

It beats the alternative of the green and red ones that taste like sour death or the brown one that tastes of bongwater and chocolate.

I pay for it with a bank card with a magic chip in it and a blue card with a giant K on it.

Sometimes I get coupons from buying all of this coffee. I think they are coupons, but I am not sure as they are in Finnish.
posted by Lord_Pall at 11:49 AM on July 25, 2008 [4 favorites]


If you steep the beans in Francis Ford Coppola wine, something horrible happens.
posted by Artw at 11:49 AM on July 25, 2008


Why do people seem to think that roasting coffee smells anywhere near as good as brewing coffee?

Even better than both is to grind the beans you roasted yourself. The smell of freshly ground, freshly roasted beans is almost as good as sex.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:58 AM on July 25, 2008


I have a Lynch Brand radiator. It has done some very weird shit to my romantic life.
posted by everichon at 12:12 PM on July 25, 2008 [2 favorites]


Pepsi Blue.

Coffee Black.
posted by grateful at 1:16 PM on July 25, 2008


"I used to go to Bob's Big Boy restaurant just about every day from the mid-seventies until the early eighties. I'd have a milk shake and sit and think. There's a safety in thinking in a diner. You can have your coffee or your milk shake, and you can go off into strange dark areas, and always come back to the safety of the diner."
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:28 PM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


> It smells like burning grass.

I thought it smelled like really intense burned toast, from a small commercial roaster near where I used to live.
posted by Listener at 1:29 PM on July 25, 2008


For the record, Coop's advice to Sheriff Truman is "Everyday give yourself a gift. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just do it."

Close, but not quite. It is:

"Sheriff? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just ... let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee."
posted by jbickers at 1:34 PM on July 25, 2008


Coffee...The Water of Life.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 1:42 PM on July 25, 2008


I heard they froze Walt Disney's head.
Opening the cannister just wouldn't be the same.
posted by Dizzy at 2:10 PM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]


A present every day?

two cups of good, hot, black coffee.

I'm covered! Every morning.


A hand job.


I'm doubling up!


Walking distance from my house recently added an independent coffee house that roasts locally. Nice addition to the brewpub, dozen or two restaurants, etc....
posted by kjs3 at 3:35 PM on July 25, 2008


Hey, no real objection to TwinPeaksfilter, but this isn't exactly news -- this coffee's been around since what, early 2007?
posted by desuetude at 4:42 PM on July 25, 2008


Maybe it has, but from my understanding his webstore hasn't been functional and the coffee was only just made available on Amazon (thus, the "new item" flag).

New items are news. Natch! No? Nuts!

posted by miss lynnster at 5:23 PM on July 25, 2008


Maybe it has, but from my understanding his webstore hasn't been functional and the coffee was only just made available on Amazon (thus, the "new item" flag).

Ah, I see. Sorry. Carry on then. *cues up Badalamenti*

posted by desuetude at 6:36 PM on July 25, 2008


Stop commenting in small print! I can't see through my coffee-steamed glasses!
posted by Anderson_Localized at 3:29 AM on July 26, 2008


Well, I want some. So there.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:23 AM on July 26, 2008


I hope this particular brand will be the official beverage of Twin Peaks Fest 2008.
posted by chihiro at 11:25 AM on July 26, 2008


> iloveit: It is not dissimilar to equating the smell of a slaughterhouse with the smell of a steak on the grill.

"Just singe the bean, and pass it along to me!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:20 PM on July 26, 2008


I like my coffee like I like my women.

Stuffed in a burlap sack and tied to the back of a donkey.
posted by allkindsoftime at 3:39 AM on July 27, 2008


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