"Are we in the midst of a coup?"

August 3, 2008 8:50 PM

2009: A True Story."My name is Sara Ford and I am 18 years old. I moved to California at the end of last year. Before the first attacks... before everything changed." [Via]

On YouTube: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11, Episode 12, Episode 13.

NSFW.

posted by homunculus (74 comments total)

Okay, I'm afraid, so that's... good? That's good now, right?

Now what do I do?

I've got duct tape. Will it involve duct tape?
posted by Navelgazer at 8:58 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Terrormongerer!
posted by Balisong at 9:02 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

navelgazer - EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED - even, i assume, the molecular stickiness of duct tape
posted by pyramid termite at 9:02 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

For people like me who are intrigued but possibly unable to watch the videos at work or whatever, a short (SPOILERS)Yahoo Answers(SPOILERS) entry on the content.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:05 PM on August 3, 2008 [4 favorites has favorites]

I miss Dr. Horrible.
posted by maudlin at 9:07 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

And that makes you sad, right? EPONYS-meh.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:12 PM on August 3, 2008

Reading the Yahoo Answers post makes me understand what not wanting to watch past the first link had kept me from getting. Thanks!

Also, I'd hope that (SPOILERS) in the event of a terrorist attack right around the same time as the upcoming election, the American people who have such a phenomenally low opinion of Bush largely due to his mishandling the last attack on our soil so royally would not take too kindly to him running roughshod over the constitution on the claim that he knows what's best this time around.

A boy can dream, anyway.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:13 PM on August 3, 2008

Explosions? Check. Naked chicks? Check. Drunk chicks? Check. Men with guns? Check. Los Angeles? Check. You, sir, have a green light!
posted by Brocktoon at 9:13 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I thought we were already at the mercy of HSN and Skynews.
posted by The White Hat at 9:23 PM on August 3, 2008

Am watching it now and am intrigued....
(a non-spoiler detail from the second video - she's taping messages to her boyfriend. I provide this detail in case, like me, you are skeptical of the merits of a film where a girl, taping her message at the end of the world, does so lying down and in panties).
posted by moxiedoll at 9:32 PM on August 3, 2008

That was... one of the weakest special effect explosions I've ever seen. I want to be interested, I really do, but the dirt shower was just absurd. (Not a spoiler, it's the first thing that happens in the first video.)

Also, I don't know about a lot of people, but I like to clean up and put on real clothing when I'm feeling scared and insecure. Sitting around in my underwear does not bring peace of mind.

Also, I like how ever since Trent Reznor released Ghosts on a Creative Commons licence, it's in every fourth YouTube video. Not that I don't love Ghosts, but seriously.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it ain't The Guild.
posted by Caduceus at 9:36 PM on August 3, 2008

Reading the Yahoo Answers post makes me understand what not wanting to watch past the first link had kept me from getting.

Yahoo Answers has all the answers. No need to investigate further, citizen.
posted by homunculus at 9:45 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I think I'm a bit put off by the production values. Somehow, I would think that dispatches from a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles wouldn't be so...slick.

Other than that, this is quite intriguing. Thanks!
posted by Weebot at 9:47 PM on August 3, 2008

Pfft, LA? You can keep it.
posted by furtive at 9:48 PM on August 3, 2008

RED WORM TIME is begin.
Year Zer0.
MetaFilter in the Ruins.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:50 PM on August 3, 2008

Well, it convinced me to watch further and realize that this was something kinda cool and worthwhile, and not may first impression, which was a bizarre warning about the attacks to come if Obama is elected. So that's nice.

Good post, BTW.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:51 PM on August 3, 2008

Pfft, LA? You can keep it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OH MY GOD YOU SAID SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT LOS ANGELES NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:54 PM on August 3, 2008 [15 favorites has favorites]

These things happen. We probably all won't die. Is it really rational to look at history and see that empires and nations and kingdoms rise and fall, and think that the society we are in the midst of won't fall too?
posted by Vague_Blur at 9:54 PM on August 3, 2008

I guess we do kind of deserve some ribbing for building our airport out of dirt though.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:55 PM on August 3, 2008

God, I don't think we need any more "warnings." We -KNOW- things are bad, alright? Anyone who can wake up HAS woken up.

Now it's less a warning and more a reminder.

I DEMAND KITTENS!
posted by BrianBoyko at 10:00 PM on August 3, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Ahh, you seen one post-apocalyptic girl lying around in her underwear you seen 'em all.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:05 PM on August 3, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Dear America:

We understand. We feel bad about 9/11 too-- really bad, on your behalf. We sympathize. Having experienced ourselves what it feels like to have lots of bombs dropped on us, and having to deal with war right on our doorsteps-- we know. It's really bad, and the memories and difficult to deal with.

That said, please move on, and try to let it go a little bit. We get it, you're traumatized. But let's try to move forward now, okay?

Lurrve

Most of the rest of the world

PS Oh, and thanks for all the movies. Maybe a few less end of the world ones now?
posted by jokeefe at 10:18 PM on August 3, 2008 [24 favorites has favorites]

"the sunrise... was more like a sunset. blood-red and orange... the smoke it's... like a big black mouth... trying to eat the sky."

Groan.
posted by kid ichorous at 10:20 PM on August 3, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Wow, that was really, really poor.
posted by jettloe at 10:22 PM on August 3, 2008

Where can I buy a similarly indestructible camcorder?
posted by tapeguy at 10:26 PM on August 3, 2008

If it's "true" at all, it's only in a sense I'm not familiar with.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:27 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Dear Most of the rest of the world,

Please don't pity us. Instead, take our guns away. We're never going to learn and we need to be stopped before we lose it again.

XO
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:27 PM on August 3, 2008 [7 favorites has favorites]

I DEMAND KITTENS!

OH HIA!
posted by homunculus at 10:29 PM on August 3, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

homunculus!! thanks for the roflmao
posted by infini at 10:36 PM on August 3, 2008

Synopsis: a bomb goes off in LA and kills everyone who can act.
posted by nicwolff at 10:38 PM on August 3, 2008 [28 favorites has favorites]

a bomb goes off in LA and kills everyone who can act.

Granted, this did actually happen quite some time ago.
posted by Avenger at 10:46 PM on August 3, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

WOW. That was bad. And that's coming from someone who makes a hobby out of watching terrible movies.

Did anyone make it past the first 20 seconds of the second episode? Does it actually get any better?
posted by Venadium at 11:09 PM on August 3, 2008

a bomb goes off in LA and kills everyone who can act.

Granted, this did actually happen quite some time ago.

REMEMBER ISHTAR!!!
posted by sourwookie at 11:13 PM on August 3, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

If this FPP wasn't posted by homunculus, it would seem to be pretty viral; the "Gee, what is '2009' clip I've been seeing on YT," on Yahoo Answers is followed by what is obviously a plant from the series' marketing department. Cormack McCarthy, this is not.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:16 PM on August 3, 2008

Did anyone make it past the first 20 seconds of the second episode? Does it actually get any better?

I watched the entire second episode, and my verdict was a resounding "meh." And I like near future dystopian stories that double as thinly veiled assertions that Republicans are fascists.
posted by Caduceus at 11:24 PM on August 3, 2008

Is it bad that I kind of want to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate to cleanse the palate after sitting through this?
posted by vanadium at 11:24 PM on August 3, 2008 [5 favorites has favorites]

Does it make any more sense than Southland Tales? With my slow internet connection, I'm somewhat reluctant to spend the time for watching all that and get dissapointed once again with a Californian dystopia story.

Granted, S.T. had midgets in SWAT gear shooting gooey holes through pseudorevolutionaries, but that was pretty much all it had for it.
posted by Iosephus at 12:01 AM on August 4, 2008

Well, I liked the spoiler.
posted by Citizen Premier at 12:03 AM on August 4, 2008

Dear jokeefe,

Lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame / not funny.
posted by Avenger50 at 12:09 AM on August 4, 2008

Having experienced ourselves what it feels like to have lots of bombs dropped on us, and having to deal with war right on our doorsteps-- we know.

Who dropped bombs on Canada? When has anyone declared war on Canada?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:13 AM on August 4, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Who dropped bombs on Canada? When has anyone declared war on Canada?

No, you gotta re-read it. She's speaking for the rest of the world. People not from America can do that. Also, their hands can wrap more easily around that broad, broad brush.
posted by felix betachat at 12:20 AM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yes indeed, Jokeefe was in this case speaking in her dual capacities of spokesperson and movie critc for most of the world, as she clearly indicated.
posted by longsleeves at 12:23 AM on August 4, 2008

If you're still reading down this far and you haven't watched the program, you deserve to be spoiled. Just consider this your last spoiler warning, if you still haven't. I don't wanna hear any whining. Against my better judgment I watched the whole thing. By the time I got to episode two I wanted to stop, but it was kinda like a train wreck - admittedly a well financed train wreck, but a train wreck just the same.

Not TOO well financed though. "Let's film half of this out in the desert. It'll keep the budget down." I like bad B movie type stuff, but this thing made Blair Witch and Cloverfield look like Oscar material. God 2009 is bad, and the arrogance of adding "A True Story" to it made me wince repeatedly.

NavelGazer: "...the American people who have such a phenomenally low opinion of Bush largely due to his mishandling the last attack on our soil so royally would not take too kindly to him running roughshod over the constitution on the claim that he knows what's best this time around."

I think the doomsayer premise of this thing is that because no one has stopped him yet, and the constitution is currently about as useful a piece of paper as what I got in my bathroom right now thanks to the past eight years of shitting on it, Bush and his cronies can do precisely what the program theorizes. Yes we have a low opinion of Bush, but if someone with firepower wants to shit on my constitution, they're gonna shit on my constitution, and I'm gonna stand there and watch them do it. My hands will be raised and I'll be on my knees.

The last image we get of Sara in episode thirteen? That's why. I ain't bulletproof either. *bang*

Still, all the way through this piece of shit, I just wanted to see Chicken Little run across the bottom of the screen yelling about the sky falling. Now THAT woulda been entertaining.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:12 AM on August 4, 2008

MoxieDoll: "...you are skeptical of the merits of a film where a girl, taping her message at the end of the world, does so lying down and in panties."

That was just the first thing that tipped me off.

Also that it wasn't her boyfriend. I later figured out "Adam" was her brother. This realization makes the videos in the first couple episodes really kinda creepy. She was dancing to the camera, and looked like she was being provocative towards "Adam" only to find out later that she's making these videos for her brother? WTF? Why was she flirting with her brother in the first few episodes?

Also that supposedly a mass assassination thing at Capitol Hill leads California to be put under Martial Law first? Granted, this is a blatant political statement that Bin Laden ran to Afghanistan so the PTB naturally took a left turn at Alberquerque and ended up in Iraq. No rhyme or reason to it. I just hated that the story took place in California, when the actual story was over at Capitol Hill. Don't tell me Jupiter's on fire and then give me a domestic squabble on Pluto. That's just suck writing.

Also that the two military dudes on the beach in episode two walk up to Sara so nonchalantly like the director had just said "action." That was pathetic. Also that she just happened to be on the beach, which we're later told was 'fenced off' so how the fuck did Sara get on the beach in the first place without those two military assholes riddling her full of bullets? The whole piece of shit show makes no fucking sense.

Also the blatant use of "video glitches" to give the whole thing that "faux found footage" look that Hollywood's gone apeshit over since Blair Witch. BTW Blair Witch did it right by using ACTUAL cameras in the hands of the people. This looked like it was artificially doctored to look like it was being filmed by the actors when in fact it wasn't.

The BODY footage for example. It was obvious that half the time Body's voice is added in after the fact. They edited in his voice later so it sounds completely fake. That kinda crap was going on throughout the thing. Oh I could go on and on about how terrible it was.

If this is some kind of advertising gimmick to get me to watch a movie like Terminator Twelve or something? I'm gonna make a point not to watch whatever this thing was trying to plug. I only watched this so I'd have ammunition to complain about it.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:26 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

Caduceus: "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it ain't The Guild."

Amen! Absolutely! I wish I'd typed that out first!

Felicia Day and her friends made The Guild with less money or resources than this 2009 thing obviously had, and I was so much more enthused and happy and entertained by that. Come to think of it, The Line is more entertaining, and it has three humanoid CONDOMS in it!
posted by ZachsMind at 1:32 AM on August 4, 2008

Venadium: "Did anyone make it past the first 20 seconds of the second episode? Does it actually get any better?"

Yes I did and no it didn't. However I must say I am enjoying ripping this show a new orifice much more than watching it.

"Is it bad that I kind of want to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate to cleanse the palate after sitting through this?"

Manos after 2009 would be like chasing jalapeno peppers with rubbing alcohol. I'd recommend using a good wholesome family kind of viewing experience like Princess Bride to cleanse the palate. Or at the very least, reruns of Teletubbies.

Here's hoping the boys over at RiffTrax don't do their patented riffing on "2009 A Piece of Shit Story," cuz then I might have to sit through it all again to hear their commentary, and I don't think even they could make this palatable.

Bottom line: political statement parading as serious dramatic art? It's practically as annoying and worthy of disdain as outright blatant propaganda.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:42 AM on August 4, 2008

Didn't make it past the black-sky-eating-mouth thing.
posted by knave at 2:04 AM on August 4, 2008

Pepsi Cloverfield?
posted by ryoshu at 2:18 AM on August 4, 2008

Wow, that was really awful.

Ooh, it's the end of the world, but at least I've got my really cute cami top and my anorexia to fall back on.

Maybe I should have watched a little more, but the human life expectancy for males in my country is 73.6 years and I think I'd rather spend that time, you know, like, not being a brain-dead media zombie.

There was a time when I couldn't get enough disaster movies, catastrophe TV, and end of the world radio reports, but a person can't help but notice the thudding repetitiveness of what our bright young writers seem to think constitutes "edginess" and oh-so-real slice of life narratives. I mean, for god's sake, I watched a whole season of Lost, so I've done my part to encourage the teenyboppers—but man, I'm only human.

The apocalypse isn't so much a bomb strike as it is us all dying of boredom.
posted by sonascope at 3:51 AM on August 4, 2008

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a meh.
posted by Spatch at 5:56 AM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

I can never hear/read that without thinking:

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Burma Shave.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:16 AM on August 4, 2008 [9 favorites has favorites]

Did anyone make it past the first 20 seconds of the second episode?

I didn't make it past the first 20 seconds of the first episode. Everything about it, from the overdubbed voices to the video production to the writing, reeked of "college sophomore".

What'll be really funny is if this turns out to have had a big budget and "real" Hollywood writers and everything. Oh wait, that's Cloverfield and Heroes and The X-Files and ...

OK, back to dodging stories about Katy Perry ...
posted by intermod at 6:27 AM on August 4, 2008

So, there's panties?
posted by Mister_A at 6:40 AM on August 4, 2008

Hollywood is behind it. It's not just a bunch of kids with a camera and YouTube.
posted by drstein at 7:01 AM on August 4, 2008

In that case, it has no excuse.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:07 AM on August 4, 2008

Hollywood is behind it.

"People who want to combine Alex Jones and masturbating" is a demographic worth pursuing? Who knew?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 7:24 AM on August 4, 2008

"Veoh is no longer available in ARGENTINA."

What the fuck? What did we do now? Beside being a bunch of dirty furriners pirating anything that moves under the cybersky, that is.
posted by Iosephus at 7:47 AM on August 4, 2008

From here:

Veoh’s Gaude Paez told NewTeeVee, “The markets we are exiting collectively represent less than 10 percent of our viewer base.” She maintained that the decision was “not about saving resources but rather re-focusing those resources.” Paez was not able to immediately provide the list of countries where Veoh is still available.

All right, after all that discussion about what is irony we had in the other thread, I'm still confused. Can I call learning about Veoh's lovely regard for us furriners by means of this 2009 thing "ironic"? If so: would it be because of the dystopia, the viral, or the cheesy aspects of it? Help!

Oh, and: fuck Veoh with a big splintery stick then.
posted by Iosephus at 8:02 AM on August 4, 2008

PS Oh, and thanks for all the movies. Maybe a few less end of the world ones now?

You mean we're not actually facing an impending apocalypse on the front of war, of global climate change, and of the Singularity/nano-hive-mind-invasion?
posted by tybeet at 8:32 AM on August 4, 2008

Another problem, besides the bad acting and the overdone video effects, is that for a post-apocalyptic story, it's not very post-apocalyptic. 24's last season had the same problem—omg, a nuclear bomb went off in L.A.! But two episodes later some guy drives through downtown L.A. in a Maserati all calm and composed, and there isn't even TRAFFIC. No sign of panic, no hordes of people fleeing the city, not even a little kid whose ice cream fell on the ground.

2009 shows us a bomb destroying LAX, and then some soldiers on an empty beach, and then some ominous news reports, and then a few people in rush-hour traffic. Oooh. So post-apocalyptic-y. The Trigger Effect did the mass-panic thing far better years ago, and as far as I could remember that movie just had a bunch of people panicking after a really long power outage. (And Elizabeth Shue's nipple.) Why is everyone leaving the city in 2009? Because some soldier said it wasn't safe. Then you hear it's because of "rebel activity" in a newscast, which is of course lacking any footage whatsoever. Here's a hint, filmmakers: that awesome month-long insurgency with U.S. soldiers shooting their own people on the streets of L.A.? Way more interesting than "botched threesome in the Mojave."

For extra laughs, read the website, especially the character bios. Each one is summed up by a ludicrously on-the-nose question about their single motivation. Cheesy radio dramas couldn't get away with that shit.
posted by chrominance at 9:56 AM on August 4, 2008 [2 favorites has favorites]

<em><big><strong>I miss Dr. Horrible.</strong></big></em>
posted by ruthsarian at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2008

I think videos like this are called 'viral' because they make me want to puke.
posted by Dr-Baa at 10:29 AM on August 4, 2008 [3 favorites has favorites]

Someone watched 13 of these? How?
posted by rusty at 12:10 PM on August 4, 2008

SPOILER ALERT:
.
.
.
It opens with a cataclysmic (possibly nuclear) explosion at LAX airport in Los Angeles, the first of 3 massive explosions in that city. The Army and National Guard move in. Rapidly, it becomes clear that the U.S. Government is responsible for these "attacks", and is using them as an excuse to impose Martial Law and a complete suspension of the Constitution.

Isn't that pretty much the same plot as Jericho (RIP)?
posted by gyc at 12:31 PM on August 4, 2008

gyc, pretty close... In Jericho there were more attacks, like 15 or so. And it was just one group inside the U.S. Government in cahoots with a particular Big Evil Multinational. Some of the terrorists were real, and apparently used as patsies, but since it got killed after a very short 2nd season, we'll never know.

I did watch it in full, what can I say? Not sure if I should be embarrassed or not... ;-)
posted by Iosephus at 1:16 PM on August 4, 2008

I watched the first and last episodes - in the interview, the director says he made it in 5 days - it shows. There's no "there" there. At 13 episodes, it's essentially a short movie broken up into 13 parts, and the individual parts don't seem to add up to much.

I guess the one thing is that the Internet allows a film like this to be seen, but at least the little bit I saw didn't seem like there was much there.
posted by MythMaker at 2:13 PM on August 4, 2008

LAX. Explosion. Bad post-explosion rubble. Long shot of explosion. Too long. Fast forward fast forward fast forward... girl in panties, ok... something about LAX being a black mouth... close tab.
posted by condour75 at 3:10 PM on August 4, 2008

Incidental Heroes can run circles around "2009 A Coup Story." Predominantly because unlike the actress behind "Sara," MacKenzie Perrin can actually act.

No matter how absurd and fanboyish the premise, MacKenzie sold it cuz in that moment before the camera, she believed it. I was far more immersed in IH. 2009 might have had a budget, but IH consisted of two friends, a camera, and a cheap trip to Vegas, probably paid for out of pocket. Have you seen the recent "Going Postal" crud that nbc.com is pushing through now?

Again, Hollywood isn't doing this kinda stuff as well as fans do it. Unless you're Whedon. Cuz Dr. Horrible rocked.

If 2009 is Hollywood's attempt to compete with the likes of Gnooze or Waverly Flams or Awkward Pictures? There's a new sherriff in town, boys...
posted by ZachsMind at 6:03 PM on August 4, 2008

its crap. it is utter crap. i can't believe the dialogue. i can't believe any of it. holy shit. it is bad. thank you. goodbye
posted by punkbitch at 1:46 AM on August 5, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

vanadium: "Is it bad that I kind of want to watch Manos: The Hands of Fate to cleanse the palate after sitting through this?"

At least some of the... errr... "interesting stylistic devices" in Manos were due to technical limitations (they had a hand-crank camera with a 35-second spring, so no take could be longer than that, which accounts for some of the horrible editing), but this...

Does every film studio now have a plug-in Don-Martin-module that adds stupid, overdone sound effects (static: ka-CHUNK-chhhhhr; station search: wahoooie-wuUuUuh; burst static: brapp, ZAPP, tchhhh)? I mean, this bugged the hell out of me in Cloverfield and other "realistic" pseudo-documentaries: modern electronics just don't do that. And I don't care if it sounds "edgy", I just can't stand those stupid exaggerated effects that do nothing whatsoever except annoy people and make the actual sound harder to understand.

Not that you'd want to hear stuff like the already quoted "it looked like a black mouth that was trying to eat the sky".
posted by PontifexPrimus at 7:55 AM on August 5, 2008

I call "Panties Rule!"

In our house, we have a theory that the first episode of almost any recent television drama that is not family-oriented will feature a woman in a state of undress in the first episode. Seven of the last nine dramas we have watched have followed this. One of the other two shows had the panty scene in the second episode.
posted by Mo Nickels at 9:53 AM on August 5, 2008

I didn't like it, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here calling this "Hollywood." If you watch the interview linked above, the director paid for this himself on credit cards, and this is his ONLY credit. In the interview he mentions having done other Youtube videos before.

Living in Los Angeles =/= being a "Hollywood" production.

He was able to get vendors who work with big companies to donate services, but this is hardly a studio production.
posted by MythMaker at 10:23 AM on August 5, 2008

MythMaker: "...the director paid for this himself on credit cards, and this is his ONLY credit. "

So this isn't some kinda viral thing that's a precursor to a hyped up movie or tv series or something? Is the following an unfair critical analysis, in light of this new knowledge? I'm still thinking this must be a viral marketing ploy, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt on that.

1) Stop faking bad 'found' footage. If this were an actual low-budget production, that wouldn't need to be faked. If it's being done for 'effect' find a better way to show the audience what's going on, because 'found footage' is already a bad film device.

2) Quit trying to pretend it's real when it's not. Calling something a "true" story doesn't make it so, and starts you on the wrong foot. Don't lie to your audience so blatantly.

3) Don't put your lead heroine in skimpy clothes if it doesn't make sense to the story. Doing so just because you know it'll get you more clicks? Not making friends and influencing people. Why would a girl dress skimpy for her brother? Seriously.

4) Maybe she's a friend doing you a favor? Maybe the whole reason to make this was to give her a vehicle within which to shine? Maybe she's got a list of credits as long as my arm and deserves better recognition than I offer here, but objectively speaking, the actress playing Sara was less believable in this role than Michael Keaton was playing Batman.

5) If you can't work the exposition into the main plot with the characters you want us to care about, you need to scrub the script and start over. Interrupting the flow of the main plot to interject life events happening that only indirectly affect the major players is really effing annoying. Ideally, show us. Don't tell us. If you can't show us, then show us our main characters being told this, and at least show us the main characters reacting to this new knowledge.

6) Purposefully hiding the faces of these exposition players to tell us their identities aren't important is also very annoying. Have this information provided to the audience by people you want us to love or hate, but don't present us with a cast of people to whom we should be indifferent. That apathy tends to leak into the rest of your cast.

7) Just because you can do something cool with digital effects doesn't mean you should.

8) If you want us to believe Body is not doing voice over in post, record it in real time. If you have to fake it, do it better. God that was annoying.

9) Inventing a slap happy psycho character totally for purposes of forwarding the script and generating artificial suspense and tension, then not having the principal characters suffer for it, is worse than introducing a gun in act one and not firing it in act three. See Anton Chekov.

10) Political statement parading as artsy entertainment? Not often welcome. Tone down the rhetoric a tad, and insert more humor or suspense or thrills or something that gives us a reason to actually watch.

11) If you're going to start with a countdown, don't be vague about why at the end. Zero days remaining before what? Lead poisoning? Weak.

12) Don't start with an explosion unless you got something under your sleeve bigger than an explosion with which to finish. I mean really. If you start with an explosion you got nowhere to go but down.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:57 PM on August 5, 2008

Huh. I've never posted something which was so derided but also favorited this many times. Interesting.

I agree that the acting was poor and the implementation wanting, but still the idea and the effort seemed worth sharing.
posted by homunculus at 8:02 PM on August 5, 2008