Ron Paul rejects your entire mana-based monetary system!
September 15, 2008 3:03 PM   Subscribe

Magic: The Election. Part 2.

Presented in the grand tradition of Katrina: The Gathering.
posted by casarkos (48 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite

 
That's impressive.
posted by Shepherd at 3:07 PM on September 15, 2008


Ron Paul has no color! Ron Paul has no cost! Ron Paul rejects your mana-based monetary system!

This totally sucked until I got to that card. Then it got really funny.
posted by GuyZero at 3:11 PM on September 15, 2008


Oh shit, I should read post titles.
posted by GuyZero at 3:12 PM on September 15, 2008


Bill Clinton is Indestructable

So funny. Not that much stranger than a lot of stuff in the last MTG expansion, though.
posted by MsElaineous at 3:15 PM on September 15, 2008


I would just like to point out that Barack only does 3 damage, but can take 7. McCain can dish out 6 (not quite enough to kill obama) but can only take 3 damage. Proof if ever there was any that Obama's got this election in the fuckin' bag.
posted by shmegegge at 3:20 PM on September 15, 2008


"Ron Paul has no color! Ron Paul has no cost! Ron Paul rejects your mana-based monetary system!"

A 0-cost colorless card? Ron Paul is an Ornithopter.
posted by boo_radley at 3:21 PM on September 15, 2008 [17 favorites]


SO happy that I have no idea what this is or why it's funny.
posted by Zambrano at 3:22 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Humorous political analogies are almost always suspect, but these are golden.

Why yes, I am a complete geek, why do you ask?
posted by SaintCynr at 3:22 PM on September 15, 2008


Now with counter stones made from hardened bits of American Voter Cynicism!
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:23 PM on September 15, 2008


The transformation to Fark has been completed.

(However, I always had a soft spot for these political magic cards. I think I have a few from 2000 kicking around on my old computer)
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:24 PM on September 15, 2008


We could just have an MGK feed on the sidebar and that would okay with me.
posted by spiderwire at 3:37 PM on September 15, 2008


Gotta admit, though, this is a pretty complete set. Wow.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:38 PM on September 15, 2008


I propose that "favorites" be changed to "mana points."
posted by clearly at 3:41 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


At first glance Barack's gain UU on a counter is kinda useless ability. You counter a spell as a reaction, so if you choose to gain UU, you then need to spend it by the end of the phase unless you want to suffer mana burn. So you only do it if you have some sort of useful Instant in hand.

Also, mana gain for Blue is completely out of their color pie.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit in the bathtub and weep over what I have become.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:50 PM on September 15, 2008 [5 favorites]


Those of you who aren't still playing don't know the indignity of trying to play against a dual-color creature like Barack Obama.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:51 PM on September 15, 2008


SO happy that I have no idea what this is or why it's funny.

SO happy that I don't live in your world.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:53 PM on September 15, 2008 [5 favorites]


> SO happy that I have no idea what this is or why it's funny.

Magic: The Gathering is for people who aren't cool enough to play D&D. Or it's Pokemon for big people.
posted by you just lost the game at 3:59 PM on September 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


Bush should definitely be from a Fallen Empires set.
posted by kid ichorous at 4:05 PM on September 15, 2008 [4 favorites]


SO happy that I have no idea what this is or why it's funny.

You know, it's like those pokemon cards your little nephew used to get excited about.
posted by longsleeves at 4:07 PM on September 15, 2008


Those of you who aren't still playing don't know the indignity of trying to play against a dual-color creature like Barack Obama.

Totally. That card pretty much says "I cost UUUUUU!"

I like the blue:Dems, red:Repubs, black:media bit. I think green could have been lobbyists and other fundraisers (green is for growth and, uh, money) while white could have been hapless bystanders and other agenda'd groups.

That'd open up stuff like:

Abercrombe Dudes W
Creature - Hapless Bystander
W, T: Raise the cost of any Democratic ability by 2.
"We just decided to wear these shirts to the rally. We had no idea we'd be behind the podium. So what was the candidate talking about anyways?"
1/1

Matching Funds 2G
Sorcery
If target player has more land in play than you, reveal twice the number cards from the top of your deck. Place every land revealed in this way into play and the rest of the cards revealed on the bottom of your deck in any order.
"Every little bit hel- Oh, who are we kidding?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:08 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, like that.
posted by longsleeves at 4:08 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Rudy Giuliani becomes 9/11 until end of turn.

I'm ashamed that I didn't see that exact use of 9/11 coming.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:12 PM on September 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


robocop, c'mon, man, I'm talking about the increasingly multiracial electorate here, not some dork card game. ;P

People dissing MTG players and other gamers crack me up. As a pretty cool, socially adept, not unattractive female, internet nerds, I suggest you take your pissing contest out of the dating pool. Protip.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:16 PM on September 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


The amazing thing about this is that those are well balanced cards, gameplay wise.N Though, I haven't played for a few years.
posted by empath at 4:22 PM on September 15, 2008


Magic: The Erection shows a completely different set of images.
posted by doctor_negative at 4:30 PM on September 15, 2008


The Whitey Tape is brilliant.
posted by Flunkie at 4:33 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


I like (mefi's own!) mightygodking. You might add his name as a tag.
posted by Pronoiac at 4:36 PM on September 15, 2008


After this image appeared during the electoral season, a couple of friends made this Magic Card for another forum. Still my favorite.
posted by Greg Nog at 4:45 PM on September 15, 2008


Meh. I've seen funny fake Magic cards before, but these just don't seem to be very good. The Katrina ones were way better.
posted by Mitrovarr at 5:05 PM on September 15, 2008


So... is there a place I can see the Katrina ones? Because the old post's link no longer leads to them.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:06 PM on September 15, 2008


A MOX ON BOTH YOUR CONVENTIONS
posted by cortex at 5:19 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


in it since The Dark, out by Ice Age, kids today can get off my lawn, etc
posted by cortex at 5:21 PM on September 15, 2008


I haven't actively played Magic for 11 years, but I still never get tired of M:tG based parodies. Of anything, really. They invariably make my day.
posted by Caduceus at 5:22 PM on September 15, 2008


Disclaimer: as someone who just scored another box of Cthulhu Rising, I am unable to mock the M:TG folks in full measure. I am confident, however, that my fellow MeFites are up to the task.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:28 PM on September 15, 2008


Ask, and ye shall receive, Mr. Bronzefist: "Quick, Get Condoleezza!: Put a 3/3 token black creature into play."
posted by Keter at 5:28 PM on September 15, 2008


Hahahaha. Those are excellent. Thanks, Keter.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:39 PM on September 15, 2008


Is this what the game looks like now? "Shroud"? Little italic explanations of each keyword?
posted by Electrius at 5:55 PM on September 15, 2008


I hate to admit how much I love these. Three quarters are pretty meh, but the other 25% are clever. David Brooks was fantastic, for example.
posted by absalom at 6:08 PM on September 15, 2008


Electrius: the little italics only show up sometimes, but I used more than average to increase accessibility for those people who don't know the game.

(And shroud is the recent keyword for "you can't target this card.")
posted by mightygodking at 6:24 PM on September 15, 2008


Split mana icons? Rotated half-card things? What the hell?

Magic has gotten really complicated and stupid since I quit playing.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:24 PM on September 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Remarkably clever with the ruleset.
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:10 PM on September 15, 2008


I was recently re-introduced to Magic (having last played in high school), only to find the game had moved far beyond the basic power/toughness slugfests of the past. It's confusing at first, but it does make games more interesting.
posted by Maxson at 7:19 PM on September 15, 2008


Heh. I just have to say one more time: those Katrina cards are fantastic.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:20 PM on September 15, 2008


I'm a fan of John Hagee

Republican and Douchebag cards you control gain protection from Gays. (Note: They can still have the gay trait themselves.)

posted by bodywithoutorgans at 8:27 PM on September 15, 2008


Some of the templating was a bit off, but I thought this was pretty funny.
posted by salmacis at 2:39 AM on September 16, 2008


*taps two islands*
posted by sciurus at 12:49 PM on September 16, 2008


I'd tap that.
posted by empath at 4:42 PM on September 16, 2008


MetaRaceCard!
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 8:55 PM on September 16, 2008


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